Thanks for all the reviews in the previous chapter!
Emily's Pov
Going back to school was tough for Alison. I could tell by how her surroundings were affecting her because I know that underneath all that toughness she has on her face everyday, she gets hurt too. I just want to make sure she's okay, so after school I walked her home.
"How was your day?" I ask.
"Sucked. They put me in environmental science," She rolls her eyes.
As we made it to her front door, she wraps her arms around me in a hug.
"Ali?" I said.
"Thank you, Em," She said, pulling away softly, "You're always there for me," Her blue eyes melt into mines and I feel my heart pounding and the sound of it beat drummed to my ears. I wasn't sure if I was getting lost in her eyes, or if she was getting lost in mine. I look away to the floor, breaking the eye contact as I suddenly felt like that shy fifteen year old again.
"Always," I said. She gets inside her house and then I make my way home with a grin on my face that I can't seem to get rid of.
For the next three days, most of my time been spent with Alison. I even had to cancel on Hanna a few times. And, it was a good three days. I felt like I had some reconnection with Alison. Right now we were just having a marathon of movies and tv shows that she missed out on when she was gone. The sound of my phone woke me up. I look at the tv screen and the tv was still playing while Alison also feel asleep during it, except she fell asleep on my shoulder. I gently move and lay her back on the couch.
I step outside and answer the phone, "Hello?"
"Where have you been?" Hanna asks.
"I was hanging out with Alison," I said.
"Oh," She said, "Have you been hanging out with her for the passed week?"
I was afraid to answer this question honestly. Hanna could be scary. "She just needs someone right now, every one gives her stares and I just want to here for her," I said. Shit. Was that the wrong answer?
"Well, I miss you," She said.
My lips curve and I said, "I miss you too. Tomorrow night I'll make it up, okay?"
"Okay. I love you, Em."
"Love you too, baby," I said and then she hangs up. I get back inside Alison's house and she was still asleep. She looked comfortable, but she also looked like she was missing something. I take her jacket that layed on the floor and set it on top of her for warmth.
(the day after)
Tonight, I made dinner reservations at the Apple Rose Grille. I was meeting Hanna there, until, Alison showed up at my door. "Em, I need to talk to you," She said.
"What's wrong?" I said, feeling worried. I hate that I need to talk to you' thing. It always brings worry and anxiety instantly.
"Do you remember when I told you that all those kisses and feelings for you weren't really real and that they were just for practice?" She said.
"How could I forget?" I shrug. I would never forget that. That killed me.
"I just want you to know that they weren't just for practice," She said. My eyebrows rise and my eyes focus on her, making sure that she wasn't lying.
"Why are you telling me this now?" I said.
"I think you might have a pretty good idea, Em," She said, taking steps closer to me, "Those feeling I had for you then, are still in me now," She said, now facing towards me. Her hand intertwined with mine and her face was close to mine. There it is again, my heart beating like crazy. "I know you feel this way too, Em." She said slowly. I felt completely frozen.
She leans in, but I back away instantly. "Ali," I said, "I'm with Hanna, now"
"Then why are you still holding my hand?" She says. I look down and notice how tight I had her hand in mine. She starts to lean in slowly, and that's where I felt the world stop. For once, I didn't know what to do. Do I back away? Hell yeah I do! Emily Fields, you're with Hanna Marin. I back my head away.
"We can't," I said, letting go of her hand.
"I understand," She says, "But I know that somewhere in you, you still feel it, Em. You can't tell me otherwise," It's like her blue eyes were controlling my eyes. Compulsion. I stood still, completely not knowing what to say. She gives a warm smile and walks away.
What just happened?
It felt like Alison was messing with me again, but this time her feelings seemed real. It was something I wanted to feel for so long before I was with Hanna. I wanted to feel wanted by Alison Dilaurentis. I loved her, but at the time she didn't love me back. Everything feels so... I don't want to feel other than lost or confused. I look at the time and I was running late for my date with Hanna. Honestly, from what just went on right now I can't go out with her tonight. I rather not just sit there, thinking and thinking about the Alison situation while Hanna is sitting right in front of me.
I crash down on my bed and let a frustrated yell in my pillow. "Sorry, Han. I can't make it tonight, something came up." I sent Hanna the message.
"Are you okay?" She sends a message back.
"Yeah, just feeling sick. I'll try making it up tomorrow," I text back.
"No, you don't have too. Feel better, babe," The words of her text message said.
After a whole night of thinking and thinking, I'm scared to think that I actually still have feelings for Alison. At school, we would see each other from a far but have a long eye contact. Just her looking at me like that, with a smile, just makes my heart pump. She walks towards Spencer, Aria, Hanna, and me to sit with us at the lunch table outside. "The only con is coming back to school," Alison sigh, sitting next to Spencer. She was now sitting across from me.
The next 10 minutes at the table, Spencer, Aria and Alison were just talking. Hanna was feeling sleepy so I let her nap on my shoulder until lunch ended. Our hands were intertwined under the table. I glance over to Alison, who looked both hurt and annoyed. Jealousy was an obvious emotion that read on her face. The bell rings and I softly said, "Han, it's time to wake up,"
"I don't wanna," She groans.
I smile down at her and shake her. She sits up and pouts, then stealing a kiss. Knowing Alison was probably still around, I felt awkward so I pulled away. I tried to play it off with a smile so I don't get Hanna confused. We all get up and walk to our classes. Usually I would walk Hanna to her class, but I had this need to talk to Alison. "I'm going to talk to Ali, see you later" I said, giving Hanna a kiss on the cheek and then walking away.
"Ali, wait up," I said, fast walking to her.
"What?" She scoffs.
"Whoa.." I said to her weird hostility voice.
"You know you don't have to rub your relationship in front of me. If you want to me to back off from you, I will," She says, "Just don't try hurting me"
The second bell rings and we are late for our class. "I'm not trying to hurt you," I said. The hallways are empty and there wasn't any one around but us.
"Then what do you want, Em?" She asks.
"I don't know what I want. It's all confusing-" She cuts my words off with her lips pressed against mines. Again. The world stopped. Her lips slowly moved against mine. I slowly melted into the kiss and I kiss back.
Hanna's Pov
I didn't dare to walk in as soon as I heard her voice. Instead, I just eavesdropped. "What are you doing here, Alison?" Emily's voice sounded nervous.
"I came back to make things up. I should of never left you, Em-"
"It doesn't matter it was months ago," Emily cuts Alison's words off. Months? Were they together even after I left?
"Yes it does matter, Emily" Alison says. I peek inside and I can her hand stoking Emily's cheek, "You told me that you loved me and I just left you alone in Paris," Paris? "I never been with anyone that told me that and meant it. I was scared because saying 'I love you' was huge. So now I'm going to say it to you, Em," She said, "I love you,"
And that's where I felt my heart drop again. See what happened Hanna? You should of never came here. My conscience bites me. I had to get out of here. The more I stay and listen, the more I'll just get hurt. I don't want to feel that type of pain again. I can't ever go through that again. If I was myself two years ago, I would've let myself and my heart break again. Though, I can't do that. I refuse to let myself hurt again. I turn around and walk away to go home.
The car window was half open as I drove home. I let the cold air hit me and I just breathe easily. Only two drops of tears came down my eyes, but I wiped them away calmly. I promise myself, right now, that I will never go back together with Emily. This is a promise, I'm willing to keep.
Emily's Pov
If Hanna doesn't come at midnight, I'm sure I'll stay up until 5 in case she showed up. I look at the time and it read 11:15pm. It was the time I heard the doorbell ring. She came, I thought. An 8 mile grin goes across my face as I made my way to the door. Before I open the door I let myself calm down and talk a deep breath. I open to the door and the grin on my face dropped.
"Ali?" I said.
"Hey," She said. The first thing I wanted to do was shut the door on her face, but I didn't. Seeing her just gave me feelings that I wanted to burn.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, with my arms crossed.
"Can I come in, Em?" She said. I stepped aside and let her in. I walk up to my room, ignoring that she was in my house. "You're still mad," She sighs following behind me.
"Why are you back?" I said, in a hostile tone.
"I missed you, maybe?" She said in a sarcastic tone. I roll my eyes at her and she says, "Em, don't do that. I'm sorry,"
Emily's Pov (Set after a year and a half when Hanna left)
The first thing we wanted to do was visit the Eiffel tower. So we did. The way she looked at the tower, was beautiful. She loved it. We go back to our hotel room and just lay there together, staring at the ceiling. A lot of french people went up to us and called us 'Lovebirds'. It was probably the only english they knew.
She laid on my chest and I had my arms around her. "Ali?" I said.
"Yeah?" She said, looking up at me.
I been wanting to say this since forever, even when we were fifteen. "I love you," I said. Her face looked surprised. She didn't say anything but just kissed me.
The next morning I woke up and she was gone. I jumped out the bed and look around and her suitcase was gone. There was a note laying around the floor saying, "I'm sorry, but I had to leave."
"Ali, you can't just come back and expect things will be okay," I said.
"I know. I been here for a couple days now and I noticed that Hanna's back too," She says with her head down.
"Does that bother you?" I said with my eyebrows furrowed. She steps closer to me and I start to feel my heart beat faster. "What are you doing here, Alison" I ask again.
"I came back to make things up. I should of never left you, Em-"
"It doesn't matter it was months ago," I cut her words off, with my eye staring at the floor.
"Yes it does matter, Emily" She says, having me hand rest on the side of my face. I hate when she does this. This something she would always do to me when she wants to win an argument. "You told me that you loved me and I just left you alone in Paris, I never been with anyone that told me that and meant it. I was scared because saying 'I love you' was huge. So now I'm going to say it to you, Em," She said, which causes my eyes become wider. "I love you," Her words made my stomach feel weird.
She leans in to kiss me, but I back away. "I'm going to need time to think about this," I said.
She takes a step back and says, "Take all the time you want," And with that she left. I stare at the time and it read, 11:27pm. Alison being back put pressure back on me like it did when we were in high school and she came back from 'the dead'. Right now before Alison came at my door, I started to feel like Hanna and I were finally going to a good place. It feels like two years ago all over again.
Hanna's Pov
It was around 10 in the morning where I hear the doorbell go off. Being lazy as I am to get up right away, I groan. I made my way down stairs to open the door. Thinking it was my mom forgetting her keys again, I didn't bother to fix my tank top that covered only half my upper body. I open the door and see Emily. My eyes go wide and I fix my shirt. "Hey," I said.
"Sorry, did I wake you up?" She asks.
"A little," I give a small chuckle. "Um, come in," I said, getting out of the way. She walks in and I can smell the coconut perfume she had on. It smelled nice.
"So I guess you made your decision, huh?" She asks.
"Yeah, I did," I said calmly, "I think you and Alison are perfect for each other," I tried my best to not make it sound sarcastic, but failed.
Her eyebrows raised. "So you did show up last night," She says, "Han, you were willing to back together with me?" She sounded like she couldn't believe it.
"Em, I was," I start, "But I saw you and Alison and over heard about something in Paris and she loves you-"
"Alison and I aren't back together, either Han" She cuts off.
"You two have unfinished business, Emily. I thought I was ready to be with you again, but seeing her and you in the same room again made me realize I wasn't," I said.
"I can't say that I don't have feelings for you though-"
"And you can't say that you don't have feelings for her anymore, either," I cut her off. Resisting all urges to say 'I want you', I said, "Choose her,"
"What?"
"Last time I was with you, I was in a competition and didn't know about it," I said, "If you love her, great. Don't let me stop you or get in the way."
She doesn't say anything but look down at her hands. "I'm just not ready to be with you, Em. I hope we could just stay friends." I said. She looks up at me and forces a smile. I know when she does that to tell it's a fake smile.
"Okay, friends." She leans in for a hug. She wraps her arms around my neck tightly. I hug back with the feeling of not wanting to let go. "Friends.." I hear her mutter. "I'll be here for you, in case you need it" She said.
This chapter was pretty long but as I wrote it, I had a little bit of a song inspiration. In Case by Demi Lovato, you guys should listen to it. I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I did!
These flashbacks are the practically Emily's POV of her beginning stages of cheating on Hanna. Next chapter, Chapter 1 would be told in Emily's eyes. Like, the night she cheated on Hanna and the other times. Also, I rewrote chapter one to give it more detail. I would really appreciate it if you guys check it out!
Thanks! Leave a review!