INT: MIRANDA'S SPARE ROOM.
The room is full of plastic bags which contain baby things.
MIRANDA: Mum wasn't joking when she said babies needed a lot of stuff! It isn't even born yet and it already has more stuff than I do. What is a baby going to do with all this stuff! At first all it will do is cry and poo!
She rummages through a bag, she pulls out a magazine.
MIRANDA: Gary will be home today and he wants to go straight back to the shop to buy the rest, do we really need to do it all so quickly? I'm only thirteen weeks, we have ...
Miranda tries to add up in her head.
MIRANDA: Many weeks to wait! Why rush? Although it is totes adorable that Gary is so involved. He wants to come to every appointment, every antenatal class, everything. He's being so supportive. Before he went back to Ireland he cooked loads of scrummy but healthy foods for me to eat, so I don't even have to lift a finger, only to of course press the button on the microwave, but if I play my cards right I don't even have to do that!
Penny walks in with plate. It is spaghetti bolognese.
PENNY: Did you want a piece of bread to go with it?
MIRANDA: Oh yes please!
Penny exits.
MIRANDA: See! Being waited on hand and foot!
You hear the front door open, Penny says hello to someone, then there are footsteps up the stairs. Miranda is half way through slurping up a piece of spaghetti. Gary walks into the room, she finishes eating the spaghetti and it slaps her in the face leaving sauce all around her face.
GARY: Honey I'm home!
MIRANDA: Yes, I can see!
Gary kneels down and kisses her.
GARY: So what have we got and what do we still need to get?
MIRANDA: Straight to it then?
Miranda looks to the camera.
MIRANDA: No, oh I've missed you or how have you been? Just straight to it!
GARY: Looks like you've bought the whole shop Miranda!
MIRANDA: Oh no, but mum would have if she'd had her own way! I just stuck to the small essentials. We have enough nappies to equip a small baby army. She has a whole wardrobe full of clothes. More than me to be honest.
Gary interrupts.
GARY: She?
MIRANDA: Just a hunch, and I was getting tired of saying "It"
Miranda has finished eating so stands up. Penny enters.
PENNY: Miranda, did you eat it or inhale it? I take it you don't want the bread then?
Miranda takes the bread from Penny's grasp and starts to eat it. Penny picks up the tray and exits. Gary hugs Miranda.
GARY: How have you been?
MIRANDA: Yeah I've been fine, mum's been bearable! I think she misses Dad but when I went to see him, he doesn't seem to be budging.
EXT: PENNY AND CHARLES' HOUSE. (FLASHBACK)
Miranda is sat on the veranda of the house, just off shot you can see part of a hot tub.
MIRANDA: Come on dad, she's miserable without you. I know she's hard work, but isn't she worth it? You've been married for so long, don't just give up now.
Miranda covers her eyes.
MIRANDA: TOWEL DAD!
Miranda throws a towel towards the camera.
INT: THE SPARE ROOM
Back to present. Miranda and Gary are still hugging.
MIRANDA: It was horrible, I expected him to be an emotional wreck but he was far from it.
Gary backs off.
GARY: Champagne and strawberries in a Hot tub at half ten in the morning. That shouts out breakdown to me! Once we have finished Mission: New Addition, shall we begin Mission: Reconciliation!
MIRANDA: Are we ready for all of this Gary?
GARY: Well no, no we're not, but its happening now so we better get used to the idea sharp-ish!
MIRANDA: Put so lovely!
GARY: Well what can I say?
He kisses her.
GARY: You are going to be a brilliant mummy! End of. Stop worrying!
He hugs her again.
GARY: Right, are we ready?
EXT: OUTSIDE THE BABY SHOP.
Miranda and Gary are walking towards the shop. Miranda keeps spotting something in the corner of her eye.
MIRANDA: I think someone is following us! Gary!
They walk on, Miranda still sees "someone" out of the corner of her eye.
MIRANDA: Someone is most definitely following us! Gary!
GARY: Hey! What are you doing? We haven't got anything worth stealing.
Gary walks towards the back of the car, there's no one there.
GARY: There's no one there! Come on!
They walk across the road to the front of the shop. Gary takes Miranda's hand and they enter the shop. It is like walking into a massive warehouse, full to the brim of baby stuff.
GARY: Where do we start?
Miranda gives Gary the list her mother put together for her. Gary drags her to the cribs.
GARY: Show me, which one is our crib then?
Miranda points to the crib she and her mother bought the day before.
GARY: So all the furniture needs to be this light oak colour?
Are we going to find out whether your hunch is correct? Or shall we keep it a surprise?
MIRANDA: You choose!
Miranda spots something in the corner of her eye again.
MIRANDA: Come out! Now!
Stevie pops up behind the display.
MIRANDA: Stevie?
STEVIE: Oh hello, fancy seeing you here!
MIRANDA: What a coincidence! Anyone would think you'd been following us!
STEVIE: Me? Nooo!
GARY: What do you need from a baby shop?
STEVIE: I was going into the pet shop next door, but saw you two and wanted to come and help!
Stevie hugs Miranda.
STEVIE: So what are you on? Do you have the cot? The wardrobe? Oh, what about a changing unit?
GARY: Well done Stevie, that wasn't on our list!
Miranda stands back from Gary and Stevie, it seems to be getting too much for her. She walks off Gary and Stevie don't realise. Camera follows Miranda.
MIRANDA: Its like I'm not here! I wonder how long it will be until they realise I am gone.
Miranda walks around the corner and stumbles across the rocking chairs.
MIRANDA: These look comfortable.
She sits in one.
MIRANDA:Oh this is heaven! It really is! Oh I could fall asleep.
Camera goes back to Gary and Stevie.
GARY: I think we should have it green!
STEVIE: No I think it should be something different, like.. Um.. Orange!
GARY: Miranda tell her she's being silly!
They turn around to find Miranda isn't there.
GARY: Miranda?
Gary goes in search for her.
GARY: Miranda?
He finds her asleep on the rocking chair. He goes up to her, tapping her on the shoulder.
GARY: Can we tick off the Rocking chair?
MIRANDA: Sorry, I had to sit down. It was all getting a bit too much!
GARY: Do you want to go home?
MIRANDA: No its okay! We're here now!
Miranda gets up, Gary helps her down.
GARY: I think we should leave your hunch as just that, it will be nice to have a surprise and from now on, it is what ever you want! Just tell me. Why don't we, whenever we refer to the baby, say "Bean"?
MIRANDA: Okay, well the list says we need a Moses basket. Its so we can have "Bean" in our room until we are ready to put them into the crib.
GARY: Stevie went to look at them, I think they're over here!
The two walk off hand in hand. They find Stevie, who has a big trolley.
STEVIE: I can be your personal trolley pusher!
MIRANDA: I think there's a joke there somewhere, but I'm just too tired!
GARY: Any of these take your fancy?
Miranda walks up and down the aisle.
MIRANDA: I think that one! The bedding mum and I chose yesterday would look beyond cute in it!
GARY: Do you have an accent colour in mind?
MIRANDA: Now most people would go for yellow or green but I'm not like most people! I think we should go for a very light orange!
Stevie pokes her tongue out at Gary.
GARY: Orange it is?
MIRANDA: Only because the bedding I chose yesterday had giraffes on, I think a giraffe theme would be cute, Bean's first teddy could be a giraffe!
STEVIE: What like this one?
Stevie picks up a giraffe plush toy, it is very soft tones of beige and orange. It has a long tail and is very soft to touch. Stevie puts it into the trolley. They carry on around the shop. The camera backs up, revealing the whole shop floor, time passes through quickly.
EXT: AT GARY'S VAN
They are trying to get everything into the car, Stevie is ticking things off of the list as they put things in the car.
STEVIE: Moses basket. Tick. Bouncer. Tick. Swing chair. Tick.
MIRANDA: Please can someone tell me the difference between a bouncer chair and a swing chair
STEVIE: Its in the name, the one bounces, the other swings! Drr!
MIRANDA: Oh how stupid of me! Gary did we really need both?
Gary just keeps putting the stuff into the car.
STEVIE: Door Swing. Tick. Changing unit. Tick. Wardrobe. Tick. Nursing chair. Tick. Sterilising set. Tick.
MIRANDA: Finally everything.
STEVIE: Out of the first trolley yes! On to the second!
Miranda leans against the car with her arms crossed as Gary starts to pack the stuff away again.
STEVIE: Bathing stand. Tick. Highchair. Tick. Potty. Tick.
MIRANDA: A potty? Who put a potty in? Why on earth do we need a potty so soon?
GARY: Can't hurt being ready can it!?
MIRANDA: Its not like Bean is going to be born and within weeks show interest in potty training!
Gary and Stevie ignore her and carry on.
STEVIE: Pram. Tick.
MIRANDA: Oh Stevie! Can you take that to yours?
GARY: Why?
MIRANDA: Its seen as bad luck to have the pram in the house before the baby is born! I'm not taking any chances!
Gary takes the pram box back out.
STEVIE: That's all of it!
GARY: I will bring this to your car for you if you want.
Gary sheepishly closes the door on the van. It just about closes. Gary and Stevie walks off, Miranda looks to the camera.
MIRANDA: Well that was fun! Ha! I think we may have to remortgage the cottage in order to pay for all this! Next is the battle of putting it all together! Wish us luck!