INT: MIRANDA'S SHOP
Miranda and Stevie are sat at the counter, in walks Penny.
PENNY: Good Morning Sweetheart!
Miranda looks to Stevie then looks to the camera.
MIRANDA: What do you want?
PENNY: Who says I want anything?
MIRANDA: You're very cheery, that normally means you either want something or have (BEAT) Oh no, what have you done?
PENNY: I haven't done anything! Can't a mother be happy to see her daughter?
Miranda looks to the camera once again, she looks suspicious.
PENNY: I've just come from the hospital, they're discharging your father tonight.
STEVIE: Oh no, what's happened?
PENNY: The silly man has managed to tear all the muscles in (BEAT) (Penny mouths the words) Crotch area.
STEVIE: Say no more!
Penny starts to laugh.
MIRANDA: Mum, it's not funny!
Penny stops laughing.
MIRANDA: See what happened was, he was getting out of the hot tub when he slipped.
Penny starts laughing again.
PENNY: He did the splits!
MIRANDA: It really isn't funny. I found him sprawled out on the decking. He'd been there for two hours. I couldn't get him up, so I had to call an ambulance.
Penny is still laughing, Miranda picks up a fluffy toys and shoves it into Penny's mouth.
MIRANDA: So does this mean you are being summons back home to care for the patient?
Miranda crosses her fingers.
PENNY: Yes. Your father has admitted defeat and caved. Tonight I shall sleep in my own bed, for the first time in a month.
Miranda celebrates by doing a small victory dance. Penny stands behind her.
PENNY: Well don't look too disappointed!
Miranda hugs her.
MIRANDA: Oh mum, I am devastated! I truly am, but if you insist. Dad's needs are far more important than mine.
Penny goes into the side room.
STEVIE: Oh Miranda, I forgot to show you! I have some new stock!
Stevie goes into the store cupboard.
STEVIE: Drum roll please!
STEVIE: Now I saw these on a stall down at the market. I've never seen anything like them before.
Miranda is still doing the drum roll.
STEVIE: They're all hand designed and printed in a local shop.
Miranda stops the drum roll.
MIRANDA: Just get on with it will you!
STEVIE: Being impatient are we?
Stevie dives into the box and takes out a T-Shirt.
MIRANDA: You've never seen one of these before? Stevie it's a T-Shirt!
STEVIE: Hold on my friend!
Stevie turns the T-Shirt around, it had the slogan "Baby on Board" printed on the front. She gets gets more out, "Under Construction!" Another one says "Bun in the Oven"
MIRANDA: How wonderful! How many have you bought?
STEVIE: There are five designs in this collection, so bought fifty of each and at a snip of £10 each!
Miranda does the Maths in her head.
MIRANDA: That's two and a half thousand pound.
STEVIE: I know it seems a lot of money.
MIRANDA: No Stevie, it is a lot of money, a lot of my money.
STEVIE: Hear me out. If we sell them at £15 we will make a healthy one thousand, seven hundred and fifty pounds.
Miranda starts smiling.
MIRANDA: Well that is your challenge my pretty amigo! If you can sell all of these for that profit, I will share the profit with you!
STEVIE: I accept this challenge!
They converse in their comical handshake. Stevie goes back into the store cupboard and retrieves another box.
STEVIE: I had these ones made especially for you!
Stevie gives her the box, she starts to take the T-Shirts out, the first one reads "I'm not pregnant, just greedy!
MIRANDA: Are the others as offensive?
She gets another out, it reads "Exit Here" with an arrow pointing down wards.
MIRANDA: A little bit inappropriate!
The next one says "Mind the Bump!" in the classic "Mind the Gap!" style.
MIRANDA: Love it.
She's about to take out the fourth when Gary walks in.
GARY: Are you ready?
MIRANDA: Just let me change my top.
Miranda disappears into the side room, Penny comes out.
GARY: How's Charles?
Penny just starts laughing and exits the shop. Miranda comes back in wearing a coat.
MIRANDA: See you later, and don't forget to sell sell sell!
Miranda and Gary exit. Stevie starts to put the T-Shirts onto a rail.
INT: Hospital Waiting Room.
Miranda and Gary are sat waiting. Miranda is very nervous, Gary holds her hand.
GARY: Hey, come on, it will be fine!
MIRANDA: I'm just worried that something is going to be wrong with the baby!
A midwife comes out of the door on their left.
MIDWIFE: Mrs Preston?
Miranda and Gary stand up and enter the room. Miranda lies on the bed.
MIDWIFE: So you're here for your 20 week scan?
MIRANDA: We certainly are.
MIDWIFE: You seem a tad nervous, I promise you that there is nothing to worry about. It is the same as your first scan, but it will be a tad longer as we'll be checking for any abnormalities or complications.
Miranda takes Gary's hand.
GARY: Don't worry, everything will be fine!
Miranda stands back up and takes her coat off, the T-Shirt underneath reads "It's His" with an arrow pointing to the right, unfortunately Gary is stood to her left. Miranda looks to the camera.
MIRANDA: Well that backfired!
Miranda lies back on the bed and rolls up her T-Shirt to reveal her belly, it is rather big now. The midwife squirts the gel onto Miranda's tummy. Miranda flinches.
MIRANDA: It's colder than I remembered!
The midwife starts the scan, there is silence for a short while as the midwife inputs data into the computer. Gary and Miranda are memorized by the pictures on the screen.
MIDWIFE: Wait there one second, I just need to get a colleague.
Midwife exits.
MIRANDA: I told you there was something wrong, I'm so sorry, it's all my fault!
GARY: There's nothing wrong, even if there was it's not your fault!
MIRANDA: But it is, I haven't been sticking to your healthy diet. I have a hidden stash of chocolate and crisps. I eat them at every chance.
GARY: Oh Miranda, don't be silly!
The midwife comes back in with another Midwife, they carry on with the scan.
MIDWIFE 1: There, is that?
MIDWIFE 2: Yes, I believe it is.
MIRANDA: What? What is it!
MIDWIFE 1: It looks like you are having twins!
GARY: Twins? Two? Two Babies?
Miranda looks to the camera, she's smiling but also looks surprised.
MIDWIFE 1: That explains why your tummy is a little bigger than we expect.
Miranda looks to the camera again.
MIRANDA: Yes, that explains it!
GARY: Are you sure? Like 100% sure!?
The Midwife pulls the screen around.
MIDWIFE 1: There's no doubting it, you are having twins! Would you like to know the sexes?
Miranda and Gary look to each other.
GARY: Do you?
MIRANDA: Do you?
One Midwife exits, the other continues to input some data into the computer.
GARY: I am happy either way!
MIRANDA: No, we don't. I think it will be better kept as a surprise!
MIDWIFE: Okay. No problem, it will be in your notes, but we will make sure everyone knows that you would rather not know. It does mean that if you change your mind all you have to do is ask! Are you sure?
Miranda and Gary look to each other.
MIRANDA/GARY: We're sure!
The midwife wipes away the gel, and signals to say that Miranda can get up. Gary helps her off of the bed, he is now on her right hand side. She points to her T-Shirt and then to Gary.
MIRANDA: See! Funny!
INT: MIRANDA'S SHOP
Miranda and Gary walk in, Stevie is nowhere to be seen.
MIRANDA: Where is she?
She pops up from behind the counter. Miranda and Gary jump.
STEVIE: I'm here!
MIRANDA: Can you not? I've had enough shocks to last a lifetime!
STEVIE: Shock? What Shock?
GARY: We're having twins!
Stevie faints, Miranda walks around the counter and pulls Stevie back up, she slaps her gently on the cheek, Stevie wakes.
STEVIE: Well, if its two, you have no excuse!
MIRANDA: No excuses?
STEVIE: To name one of them Stevie!
MIRANDA/GARY: We are not naming any of our children STEVIE!
Stevie sulks.
MIRANDA: Anyway, we came here to invite you to a little get together we are having tomorrow. At mum and dad's, will you and Andrew join us?
STEVIE: Of course, we'd be delighted. What time?
MIRANDA: Around 7.
Gary winks at Stevie as the pair exit.
STEVIE: Twins ay? Who'd have thought?
SCENE ENDS