INT: THE RESTAURANT - Miranda is sat at the bar with a bowl of fruit. Yes fruit! The restaurant is jam packed. Gary comes out of the kitchen, he looks very stressed. Miranda smiles at him, hoping to cheer him up.
GARY: Do we have to go tonight?
Miranda hands him a glass, of what he thinks is vodka.
GARY: I mean are we really going to be missed if we don't go?
He downs the drink, and pulls a confused face when it turns out to be just water.
MIRANDA: Stevie is my best friend, no, our best friend! Of course we have to go! Its her engagement party! We can't not go!
GARY: Okay, I'm sorry. Its just I feel so run down all the time, I just want to spend some time with you! We won't have much time when these little ones make an appearance!
He leans over and kisses Miranda.
GARY: Today has been such a busy day, I have to work until 1 then at half one I have ...
Miranda interrupts.
MIRANDA: We have our antenatal class!
GARY: Today? Antenatal class, today?
MIRANDA: Yes, today!
GARY: But I can't, I have a client meeting! You don't need me to come to every single one do you?
MIRANDA: What happened to being a team?
GARY: We are a team, come on Miranda! This meeting is with a bloke who runs a string of festivals, if I play my cards right, we could have many more opportunities to advertise the business!
Gary gets out a book from under the counter. He opens it up to reveal a sketch of a van.
GARY: This is my new venture! Gary's, on wheels! All the fine food of a restaurant but out of the back of a van!
MIRANDA: Brilliant!
Gary takes Miranda's hand.
GARY: I'm just trying to create a stable income, so I can spend more time with the three of you! Once I get this up and running, Nick has said he would like to manage it, just think of the profits!
MIRANDA: It all sounds wonderful Gary, but at this time in my life I cannot think of anything else but these two babies.
Gary walks around the bar and takes both of Miranda's hands.
GARY: I know, why don't you ask Stevie?
Miranda breaks her hands from Gary's. Gary walks back around the counter.
MIRANDA: I suppose I could.
He leans over, kisses her on the cheek then goes into kitchen. Stevie walks in.
MIRANDA: Oh hello, just the person!
Miranda gets off of the stool, her bump is extremely big now, she almost bumps into Stevie.
STEVIE: Watch out! Wide load coming through!
Miranda looks to camera.
MIRANDA: Rude!
They sit at the table, because of her bump she is sat quite a way from the table.
MIRANDA: I often forget how big this bump actually is! I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror the other night! Frightening! It looks as though I have swallowed a beach ball!
STEVIE: You're pregnant with twins, its not going to be small now is it?
MIRANDA: Point taken. Anyway! Are you free at half one today?
STEVIE: I am. Why'd you ask?
MIRANDA: Would you like to accompany me to my antenatal class? Gary has a client meeting, I don't really want to go on my own!
STEVIE: Stevie to the rescue! It would be my honour! I will do anything at the moment! Will the builders be long?
MIRANDA: They think they'll be done by Tuueessday innit!
STEVIE: Who knew a burst pipe could be so much fun!
INT: MIRANDA'S SHOP (FLASHBACK) - A small stream of water is trickling down the stairs when suddenly Stevie appears at the top in a dingy.
MIRANDA: (From afar) 1,2,3 GO!
The dingy is pushed and it flies down the stairs, when it hits the bottom Stevie goes flying, landing on her head.
INT: THE RESTAURANT - Back to present. Stevie is rubbing her head.
STEVIE: It still hurts! Feel! There's a lump!
Stevie moves urging Miranda to touch her head.
MIRANDA: I'm not touching your head, that's just weird!
STEVIE: But I could have a brain tumour!
Miranda stamps on Stevie's foot.
STEVIE: What was that for?
MIRANDA: It made you forget about your head didn't it?
STEVIE: Well yeah for a moment! Now my head and foot hurts!
MIRANDA: Oh do stop complaining! Try being pregnant with twins! If I don't have heart burn then I have indigestion! I constantly have one or both babies pressing on my bladder. My ankles now represent tree stumps! I can't sleep! I feel nauseous! I have restless legs.
Stevie shouts out.
MIRANDA: See! Shall I go on?
STEVIE: No you're fine I get the point!
Gary comes out of the kitchen. Stevie jumps up.
GARY: I'm off, would you like a lift?
Miranda signals for Stevie to help her up, Stevie struggles so Gary comes over to help. Miranda looks to the camera.
MIRANDA: Well this is embarrassing!
Once she is on her feet the three of them exit.
INT: ANTENATAL CLASS - Miranda is sat on a birthing ball, Stevie is led next to her on a sort of yoga mat.
MIRANDA: This is weird, I don't know anyone here! They're all new! The midwife changed my class, this is a class for people having twins!
Stevie is led down with her eyes closed and is nodding her head.
MIRANDA: Stevie! Are you listening?
Stevie nods.
MIRANDA: Now this is what I'm on about! Here I am pregnant, and you just lie there ignoring me! Come on! Get up! Sit up!
Miranda pulls her up.
MIRANDA: You are meant to be her to support me! To be here for me! I am the one carrying these babies!
A lady enters.
WENDY: Good afternoon everyone! My name is Wendy and I will be leading the next few classes! How is everyone?
MIRANDA: (Sarcastically) Just fabulous!
WENDY: So today we are going to expire the partners role within labour! As all of you are pregnant with two bundles of joy...
MIRANDA: (Whispering to Stevie) Bundles of joy? She's never carried twins!
Wendy appears behind them, making Miranda and Stevie jump.
WENDY: No, you're right, I haven't! I have carried triplets though!
She walks back to the front of class.
WENDY: As I was saying, because you are all carrying twins you will most probably not reach full term. For twins 37 weeks is considered full term.
MIRANDA: But Stevie! 37 weeks? That's just under a month! I am 34 weeks tomorrow! Oh Stevie I'm not ready!
Wendy puts on a DVD, it projects onto the screen behind her.
WENDY: This short clip will show you exactly what happens in labour, partners I want you to think of ways you could calm them throughout!
The DVD starts, the camera goes to a wide shot of the room. You can hear screaming. Miranda and Stevie cover each others eyes.
MIRANDA: I can't do it! Stevie you do it!
STEVIE: Do what?
Miranda points to her stomach.
MIRANDA: I can't have these babies, you'll have to do it for me!
STEVIE: I'm afraid big one, that, that's impossible!
Wendy shh's them.
MIRANDA: (Whispering) Sorry!
She looks to the camera.
MIRANDA: (Whispering) Sorry!
Everyone in the class turn and shh's her.
MIRANDA: I was just saying sorry!
The clip ends!
MIRANDA: I seriously can't do this!
Stevie takes her hand.
STEVIE: You can, and to be frank, Anne Frank, you have no choice! These babies need to come out one way or another!Whether you like it or not!
WENDY: Do you have any questions about what you just saw?
WOMAN: What are the odds of us all having natural births?
WENDY: Well it all depends on the circumstances. When they decide to make their appearance. What positions they are in. Normally 60% of all twins are born by C-section.
MIRANDA: Can we opt for a C-Sec? I will do whatever I can to bypass everything we've just seen!
WENDY: What's your birth plan?
MIRANDA: Drugs. Lots of drugs
WENDY: Okay, but your birth plan? Is it a natural delivery, birthing pool?
STEVIE: Natural.
WENDY: No difficulties through the pregnancy?
STEVIE: No, she's surprised me. She's been like a duck to water!
WENDY: Okay then, well on the day if it is safe, the hospital staff will continue with the natural birth, but if in any way they feel the need a C-Sec will be opted for instead. Sometimes be that the first child is born naturally, but the second fails to engage meaning a C-Sec is required.
MIRANDA: So you're saying I might have to go through both?
WENDY: That might be the case yes!
Miranda puts her head in her hands.
WENDY: So, partners. How could you hello through the labour period?
She looks around the room for answers. Stevie's hand shoots up.
WENDY: Yes lady at the back.
STEVIE: Back rubs?
WENDY: Brilliant! In established labour it may feel as though you have a hand pressed on the bottom of your back, a back massage would relieve the pain for a short while.
MIRANDA: How did you know that?
STEVIE: Its here in the leaflet, I thought you could take it back for Gary!
Stevie waves the leaflet in Miranda's face.
WENDY: Anymore?
Stevie waves her hand again.
STEVIE: Always speak in a soft tone and try to stay positive. Don't lose your temper, they don't mean what they say they are in a lot of pain!
WENDY: You're an expert! Looks like you're in capable hands there Miranda!
The class continues for a further twenty minutes. Once the class is over there is a chance for everyone to mingle. Miranda and Stevie are approached by Arabella and Larissa, a lesbian couple.
ARABELLA: Always nice to meet new people in the same situation as ourselves, how far gone are you?
MIRANDA: 34 Weeks tomorrow and you?
ARABELLA: 36 weeks.
Arabella's bump is hardly recognisable.
MIRANDA: But you're hardly showing!
ARABELLA: Its our third set of twins, my body is used to it now. This is our 6th and 7th baby.
Stevie and Miranda's eyes widen in shock.
LARISSA: How many do you have?
Stevie nudges Miranda who is still in shock.
STEVIE: These are the the first two.
MIRANDA: Sorry did you say that you have seven children?
ARABELLA: Tuppence and Kail, will take our brood upto seven yes!
LARISSA: Then in thirty weeks this little one will take us up to eight!
STEVIE: You're pregnant as well?
MIRANDA: Well of course, why not!?
LARRISA: Now I couldn't let her have all of the fun now could I?
ARABELLA: So tell us about yourselves!?
MIRANDA: Well we met at uni about 20 years ago, been friends ever since!
LARISSA: And when did you become a couple?
STEVIE: What now please?
ARABELLA: You are a couple aren't you?
MIRANDA: Oh no, no, we're not a couple, Stevie's my best friend. Oh no, I'm married, its just that my husband couldn't come today !
STEVIE: So I tagged along for moral support.
LARISSA: Well that's a little embarrassing!
ARABELLA: Yes, well we better be off! Good luck!
They walk off. Miranda and Stevie burst out laughing.
STEVIE: Well its not the first time we've been mistaken for a couple now is it!?
MIRANDA: No but last time we wanted people to think we were a couple. This is different. They saw us and instantly thought "Lesbians"
STEVIE: You should be so lucky!
MIRANDA: And what do you mean by that?
STEVIE: I am a trophy, no, the trophy girlfriend!
MIRANDA: And to scale as well!
Miranda looks to the camera.
MIRANDA: Now that was clever!
Stevie exits. Miranda follows.
INT: MIRANDA'S HALLWAY. - Inwards shot of the front door. It is open slightly. Miranda enters.
MIRANDA: Hello? Is someone there?
GARY: (From upstairs) It's only me!
MIRANDA: I thought you had a meeting?
GARY: It didn't take as long as I thought.
MIRANDA: Where's the van?
Miranda hangs up her coat and bag.
GARY: Sold it.
MIRANDA: What do you mean you sold it?
Gary comes to the top of the stairs.
GARY: I sold it to pay for the next catering van. I got the gig!
MIRANDA: Why didn't you come and join me at the class?
GARY: I didn't want to turn up half way through, so thought I'd come back here and get a few things done!
MIRANDA: Today's class was all about how our partners and how they can help us through labour.
GARY: I just stand there and hold your hand don't I?
MIRANDA: No! Much more than that!
GARY: What? What more can a husband do? I can't take the pain away, I can't have the babies for you!
MIRANDA: Oh Gary! Please! Be serious! I need to know I can count on you! Things are going to get tough! Things are going to get a lot harder! I need to know you'll be by my side no matter what!
GARY: Why are you so angry at me? I missed one class.
MIRANDA: Yes, but this class turned out to be the most important one of all! When these babies come, we both need to be prepared. We both need to be ready! I don't feel like you are ready!
GARY: No, no Miranda, I'm not ready! But I will be there for you! I will!
MIRANDA: I brought a leaflet home for you.
GARY: Why are you so angry?
MIRANDA: I sometimes feel as though I'm doing this on my own. You're so obsessed on how the business are doing, it feels that you forget that we're about to have these babies! I'm scared that as soon as it gets tough you will take more jobs, knowing then you won't have to be at home with us!
GARY: Seriously? What do you take me for Miranda? I thought we'd got past your insecure stage?
MIRANDA: Well obviously not!
GARY: I can't talk to you when you're in this mood!
MIRANDA: I'm going to Stevie's part, don't worry about coming! I know you didn't really want to! I'll tell them something came up!
Miranda storms out.
SCENE ENDS.