Chapter Three

Emotive Evolution

Two weeks after Kiritsugu had arrived at the Einzbern castle, Maiya Hisau joined him there for a short reconnoiter. At the moment, the plan was for Maiya to act as caretaker for Kiritsugu's life as an assassin beyond the Einzbern castle, while he remained here in preparation for the Grail War. Though his years of travel had made him restless as far as remaining in one place was concerned, and it didn't help that the Einzberns had a strange curiosity about him (despite his affinity for technology that traditional mages so abhorred) such that at times he had the suspicion that they were clandestinely observing him.

"Actually, it's kind of a godsend that the idea to educate the homunculus struck me," Kiritsugu half-joked as he and Maiya traded intelligence in the office he'd had the Einzberns set up for his personal use, the only room in the castle that contained anything "modern", including Kiritsugu's laptop and printer, and—of all things—a phone with a working landline.

"Why do you say that?" Maiya asked in her usual tone of one who asks questions mostly out of trying to maintain the appearance of being human, or in order to function better as Kiritsugu's assistant. It was the tone she adopted regularly, most of the time, anyway. Like her short, dark hair and pressed black clothes that resembled military uniform even after being out of official service for years, Maiya Hisau was very cut-and-dry.

"I think I'd have gone bored out of my mind otherwise," Kiritsugu admitted. He pulled up a report on his laptop and printed out a copy for Maiya. "There's only so much I can do here to actually prepare. The busiest it'll get won't be until the last month or so before the Fourth Grail War commences. Well, aside from some preliminary recon work I ought to carry out in Fuyuki, but I'll have to get permission from Acht." He scoffed. "Effectively, I'm something of a prisoner here, only allowed to go as far as that village I told you about for cigarettes, but they don't even have the brand I like, so…." He tore off the length of paper that printed out and handed it to Maiya.

As Maiya took it, their hands brushed each other, and Maiya started. "Is that it?" she asked in a rare moment of genuine interest.

She was referring to the cross-shaped set of three Command Seals that had appeared on Kiritsugu's right hand about a week after he came to the Einzberns' castle.

It took a second for Kiritsugu to realize that's what Maiya was referring to though, and he looked at his hand and was almost surprised to see the Seals there: somehow he'd managed to forget for a while that he even had them there.

But how could that be? This concerned the greatest and most important battle of his life to come, how could he he have so easily let something like this slip from his mind, even for a moment?

"Did you forget so easily?" Maiya asked, as usual able to read him quite clearly—one of the reasons the two of them worked so well together as a team. Her tone had a rare note of teasing that bordered on something slightly more malicious.

Kiritsugu raised his eyebrows at her and lowered his hand, clicking his mouse again to open up a series of satellite images. "As I said, this endeavor teaching Irisviel's keeping me busier than I would've been otherwise."

"Is it a question of modifying her for what you require of her when it comes to the War?"

"More or less."

"I see. In what way?"

Kiritsugu's mouth twitched as it usually did when he was truly amused. Never anything like a full-fledged smile, not in years, but it was a flicker of the flame of humanity still left inside him. "Nor am I. But the flaw—for me, in any case—was the fact that she was given an instinct to survive but no tools at her disposal that she could use to effectively do so. Well, she has the tools, but there's no true drive behind her actions in defending herself. I can't be out there fighting and at the same time worrying about her. I have to know that she won't make an idiotic survival decision based on theoretical battle logic. Survival isn't based on anything out of a textbook: it's in the blood and guts." He shook his head at this basic principle missed by the Einzberns.

"Ah," said Maiya, understanding, and left it at that.

But something more nibbled at Kiritsugu's mind. "I will say though…her ability to process new information…it's really quite incredible. The more I tell her about the world, the more she thirsts for knowledge. It's only been two weeks, but she's already learned everything about Japan that I can tell her strictly from my memory, and now I've got her reading collections of Japanese ghost stories. And she's actually trying her hand at calligraphy with hiragana characters. At this rate, she'll be unrecognizable as the homunculus I first met. It's already happening right before my eyes."

It took him a moment to realize that Maiya was regarding him strangely, and Kiritsugu found himself oddly agitated. Frowning at this, he printed off the series of satellite images for Maiya's use in her upcoming assignment.

As he did so, he did think more about what he was just saying, wondering if, after all, there really was a point in educating Irisviel so much, which prompted him to ask Maiya how it was that she managed to keep her sanity in battle when she functioned entirely like a machine—in a sense she was Irisviel's polar opposite, with their only common ground being that they were both rather machine-like in nature, but even then, for different reasons.

Naturally, Maiya was confused, since Kiritsugu knew the answer to that question better than most, having done precisely the same thing for as long as she could remember. But Irisviel had said herself that she was stronger than he was, and perhaps, in the end, she was right.

Because giving her the same reasons to fight that he had was—

But then, maybe—

Maiya listed off the pros and cons of humans and machines respectively in terms of their usefulness in battle, and now she could see what Kiritsugu was really struggling with. Still, Kiritsugu found himself lost in a territory of thought he did not like to be lost in:

Doubt.

The best clarity Maiya could offer was pointing out that, from the sound of things, he was given the wrong tool for the job in this homunculus, and had to recreate that tool as such so that he could use it the way he needed to.

When he could only respond with a heavy sigh of vexation, Maiya reached over and touched his hand again—a different kind of touch from the one when their hands accidentally brushed against each other.

Kiritsugu looked round at Maiya, experimenting for a moment with examining her as something more than his assistant and comrade-in-arms whom he would occasionally sleep with when the mood struck. To her credit, she handled things with him in bed as well as she handled guns, but he simply couldn't summon anything romantic towards her. At least that wasn't what came organically. He valued her certainly as an assistant he could depend on, and in an effort to alleviate some of the pain of what she had gone through as a child soldier, he had tried to offer her the same little kindnesses that Natalia Kiminski had offered him, but Maiya was just so cold, so much…like him.

Still, Kiritsugu had his needs, as any man did. As any woman like Maiya did.

And usually, in moments like these, he'd have heeded Maiya's suggestion, and in this particular room, would've taken her on the sofa set perpendicular to the desk.

But somehow, this time, he couldn't muster any kind of strictly physical desire for Maiya.

He turned away from her touch. "No. Not here."

"Very well." Maiya withdrew her hand, and though she said nothing more on the matter, Kiritsugu could tell she was confused.

That makes two of us, Kiritsugu thought.

Initially, the steps Kiritsugu had taken down the hall to the library to give Irisviel more lessons on the modern world had been as mechanical as anything else he did. But after the conversation he had with Maiya, he became more aware of himself beyond the presence of mind required to survive on a battlefield. Shortly after seeing Maiya off as she returned to the outside world to complete the assignment Kiritsugu had tasked her, Kiritsugu made his way down the now-familiar hallway to the library with something new injected in the rhythm of his step, while tearing open the package he'd received that morning with a small amount of what could only be described as…fervor.

When he opened the door to the library, he found practically the entire room wallpapered with sheets and sheets of large white paper, on which Irisviel had painted a myriad of hiragana characters with her careful and precise hands. Though of course, being that she, unlike Kiritsugu, a native Japanese, had no true concept of how the actual language worked, the vision of all of these characters was something like a sudden cacophony of gibberish. At the same time though, it was far too hilarious to be ignored, even by one such as Kiritsugu.

Before he knew it, the snort of a chuckle escaped him.

Irisviel, who was at an easel working on another set of characters with her paint and brush, turned and gave Kiritsugu the particular smile she had taken to wearing in his presence. A smile that was something of an evolution unto itself, having started out as a timid trial in expressing happiness, and now to one that grew brighter and truer with each passing day, yet somehow never lost the core of its original sincerity of one who really felt happy before she knew how to properly express it completely.

"Kiritsugu, I—" Then she frowned when Kiritsugu snorted again, this time in an effort to suppress yet another chuckle. "What's that sound you're making?"

Kiritsugu stopped at once, though he didn't lose the usual twitch at his mouth. "Well…I just…ah…was admiring your brushwork. It's gotten good."

"Thank you," said Irisviel, but then Kiristugu couldn't help another chuckle.

What the hell's wrong with me? he wondered as he discarded the wrapping on the package he'd opened.

"There's that sound again." Irisviel set aside her brush and rinsed her paint-stained hands off in a washbowl.

Really, was there a reason to avoid telling her that he was laughing at how ridiculous the room seemed to him with all these random hiragana characters floating around? It wasn't as though she would be offended, if she didn't understand what it might mean to have someone laugh around something she'd worked so hard on. True, he wasn't at all insulting her, but neither did she know enough of the human experience to take it that way either. Surely, there was no harm in explaining himself?

"It's called…well, it wasn't really a sound I meant to make, but it's what's called laughter. I'm not very good at it though."

"Oh. Is it some kind of skill?"

"Not at all, no," Kiritsugu answered in a tone that was far warmer and more natural than any he'd used with Irisviel thus far. And again, he was acutely aware of it.

Irisviel finished drying off her hands on a white towel. "What is it then?"

"It's a sound you make when you're amused," Kiritsugu explained as he took his usual seat on the right-hand side of the fireplace.

"Amused like happy?" Irisviel took her usual seat opposite his.

"A special kind of happy. It's where you're so happy that it has to escape, or else you feel as though you'll burst." Kiritsugu's mouth twitched wider.

"And it escapes through this laughter?" Irisviel asked with such seriousness that Kiritsugu wanted to chuckle again.

Wanted to this time.

"Yes, but as I said, I'm not very good at it."

"Because you haven't been able to reach that level of happiness?"

"No. Certainly not spontaneous enough either."

"Spontaneous?"

"Sudden."

"Ah."

Irisviel's smile came back, and as with each time, this one was truer than the last by just a little. In fact, this one had an effect on her ivory face that was nothing short of lovely, and softened her crimson eyes nicely.

When she directly asked him another question, he had to ask her to repeat herself, as for a moment his thoughts had lingered on that new look in her smile.

"What is it you have there?" Irisviel asked again.

"Oh, ah, it's one of those magazines you asked me about." Kiritsugu held it out for her.

Irisviel sucked in her breath in excitement and clapped her hands. Then she covered her mouth and hunched over, looking shocked. "What did I just do?"

"You got excited, that's what happened," Kiritsugu told her, barely able to contain any of his amusement this time. Before he could stop it, he chuckled again.

"Oh, good, that's all." Irisviel shook her head and made a kind nervous, "heh, heh," that sounded like an attempt at laughter. "Now I'm feeling what you mean by happiness that's trying to escape. How was that for a laugh?"

"Not bad," said Kiritsugu, all the while thinking, Now she's starting to cultivate reactions and responses all on her own…without any prompting or explanation from me beforehand. He couldn't help being intrigued by this new development.

Irisviel took the magazine from him and flicked through it, reading off the title on the cover. "World Cars'."

Kiritsugu watched her as she scanned the colorful pages featuring all cars of all shapes and sizes with her crimson eyes. As she looked these things over, it was clear that happiness was filling her to the brim—beyond anything he would've thought possible a few weeks ago—as again she tried her hand at laughing—no, it was spontaneous laughter, and truer for it, like her smile was becoming. The little laughs frothed out of her in peals of giggles, and Kiritsugu mused that if such clear sounds of joy as she was making now were to be turned into colors, they would be the glassy iridescence of soap bubbles.

And he began to think that if he had to stay here, watching her like this, for an indefinite period of time, it might not be so bad after all.

Irisviel had wanted to learn about cars since Kiritsugu had touched on the subject in telling her about Japan, Japan being one of the countries on the forefront of car production in the world. From there he moved on to other countries known for making quality cars, like Italy and even her home country of Germany.

From there, things snowballed. Or maybe they already had the moment Kiritsugu started telling her about Japan. From calligraphy to cars to an abundance of other things, it seemed that there was no end to how much Irisviel wanted to know, and whatever she asked of Kiritsugu, he did his best to bring in what he could in light of Irisviel's confinement to the castle.

But then he began to wonder if he wasn't actively participating in it more than he first thought. As he became more and more aware of himself as a person rather than as a machine for battle, he noticed that he would pause every now and then to play with ideas on what he thought Irisviel might like to know next. These resulted in the form of a long parade of photos, more magazines, and books, as well as a string of movies, for which Kiritsugu had to have a TV and VCR installed in the library.

The Einzberns observed all of this activity coolly and with indifference, save for Acht who was actually interested in hearing reports from Kiritsugu on Irisviel's progression. Kiritsugu indulged the man, though he couldn't help being annoyed as Acht was only asking as a scholar, not as someone who would ever view Irisviel as a being that embodied the emotions and knowledge she was acquiring.

Considering how much ground they'd covered, Kiritsugu could hardly believe it when it hit him that a few months had passed by now since his arrival at the Einzberns, since his decision to start teaching Irisviel these things in the first place. On that very same day, it so happened that Irisviel had a request for him.

"Do you think it might be possible…for me to…learn how to—what was the term? Oh yes: learn how to drive one of these?" Irisviel took out the magazine on "World Cars" she still had and pointed to the page she had opened with her thumb.

It was a silver Mercedes-Benz 300SL.

Kiristsugu took the magazine from her and examined the car in question. "You like this one in particular?"

Irisviel nodded. "Mm-hm. After all I've read about them, there seems to be this split between old and new cars, but this one seems like a blend of the two. I like that."

Kiritsugu didn't even need to give the price tag a second look. The real issue was whether the Einzberns would allow a whole car to be brought in on the castle grounds. A TV and VCR was one thing, but a car….

Ah, damn them and their opinions, Kiritsugu thought, and his mouth twitched again, though, like Irisviel's smile, he too was undergoing an evolution as far as such things were concerned. Now his mouth didn't so much twitch as it did actually spread its wings more like a bird into something closer to a genuine smile.

When he told Irisviel, "Alright, I think I can manage to get one of these for you," Irisviel gave a gasp of excitement as she was wont to do and clapped her hands, giggling, unabashedly now.

Kiritsugu's new smile widened.

The day the Merceds-Benz 300SL arrived, Irisviel was bouncing on the balls of her feet like a small child. Her steps bounced too alongside Kiritsugu's natural stride as the two of them went outside to where the car was parked on the snowy front lawn, wrapped up in their coats and Irisviel wearing her favorite fur hat.

Suffice to say, if Kiritsugu had tried to teach Irisviel how to drive months previously, he would've blown a short fuse and stormed off, cold in his frustration. Today however was another day where, for the most part, he pretty much forgot about the Command Seals stamped on his hand.

Thankfully they weren't on any real roads, but when it came time for Irisviel to take the wheel after Kiritsugu demonstrated the basics for her, she seemed more excited about turns than anything else, which resulted in a lot of spinning and skidding about across the icy lawn. In one instance they were hurtling towards the trees, the car sliding entirely sideways and off-course, and Kiristsugu, heart pounding as it hadn't pounded in a long time, gripped the inside of the car, his fingernails digging into the interior fabric.

"IRISVIEL, THE BRAKE! THE BRAKE!" he bellowed.

"Oh! Right!" squeaked Irisviel, and slammed her foot down on the brake, her fists clenching the steering wheel in a stationary position.

The car swung to a stop just short of its back end ramming into the trunk of the nearest walnut.

In the quiet aftermath of sheer relief, the two of them both simply sat there for a moment, breathing as though they'd been running. Then they looked at each other, and Irisviel full-on snorted out a laugh, covering her mouth when the rest of the laughter came tumbling out against her will. Now she knew the contexts of laughing at and laughing with someone, and the misinterpretations that could result therein.

"What?" Kiritsugu gasped.

"Your face," Irisviel sniggered from behind those graceful fingers lined up so perfectly beneath her grinning red eyes.

Kiritsugu glanced at the rearview mirror and immediately saw Irisviel's point. This time the smile came automatically, and at the same time he gave a short "Ha!", which culminated in the opening of a floodgate of further laughs, one after the other, until….

It was a happy catharsis. A cascade of laughter—his laughter—filled the car, loud and true, to the point that he couldn't find it in himself to stop even when he laughed harder to the point that he had tears in his eyes.

Feeling those tears, he wiped them away without giving them a second thought. What was more, he could hear Irisviel laughing too, laughing with him, and looking at her, looking at her look at him, and he started laughing again.

The two of them laughed so hard it seemed that they might never be able to stop, because even when Kiritsugu suggested they ended that day's lesson and return to the castle, he and she could barely hold a proper conversation for how much they kept on laughing.

The cold in the air and the darkening sky though saw to it that laughing wholeheartedly became difficult, and now it was all they could do to think of going back to the warmth of the castle.

Though Kiritsugu usually walked fast out of habit, this time he felt it in himself to slow his pace down. For a little while, he let Irisviel take the lead, and watched her from behind. While the cold did a put a stopper to the laughter, the whole way, Kiritsugu certainly was in no mind to stop grinning.