INT: MIRANDA'S SHOP - Miranda is sat behind the counter, she's serving a customer. She is still in a little bit of pain from the operation, but is able to move around freely. She looks to the camera. The customer walks out.
MIRANDA: Hello chums! How are you? (BEAT) And back to me! Well, its been two weeks since Bear and Bean made their appearance! They're growing up too quickly! Gary's taken to being a parent so well, I on the other hand have not!
INT: NURSERY (FLASHBACK) - Miranda is changing Bean's nappy. Suddenly there is a fountain of wee. Miranda panics. Doesn't know what to do. She finds the bin and holds it out under the stream of wee. A minute later he stops.
MIRANDA: Have you finished now young sir?
The baby coos.
MIRANDA: Laughing at mummy are we?
Bear joins in.
MIRANDA: Ganging up on mummy are we?
Miranda finishes putting the nappy on, she lifts him off and realises that its on backwards.
INT: MIRANDA'S SHOP - Back to present. Miranda is hiding her eyes.
MIRANDA: Embarrassing, I know! Then the little scamp, went and did a number two, so I had to change him all over again! Anyway, I'm here in the shop, doing my duties, as my best friend is currently on her honeymoon! Oh the wedding, you should have been there it was perfect!
INT: INSIDE A CHURCH - The camera is walking down the aisle, at the bottom is Stevie and Andrew. Stevie is wearing a massive puffy ivory dress. To her left is Miranda, in a navy blue dress, not too dissimilar to the one she wore at her own wedding, with a beige shawl over top. Andrew is wearing a navy blue suit with white shirt, navy blue waistcoat and beige tie. Gary is to his right wearing the same. The camera spins around to reveal Miranda is holding "Bear" who is in a beige frilly dress with navy blue shawl, on the dress of course is a giraffe, only a small one. Gary is holding "Bean" he is also in a little navy blue trousers, a white shirt, blue waistcoat but with a bow tie that has crocodiles on.
VICAR: I now pronounce you man and wife!
They kiss, Miranda and Gary throw confetti.
INT: MIRANDA'S SHOP - Back to present. Miranda is looking through photos on her phone.
MIRANDA: They looked perfect! (BEAT) And so did the couple of course!
Gary walks in, pushing a double buggy. The twins are dressed in stripey romper suits, Bear in orange, Bean in green, they each have little hats on Bean a crocodile and yes, you've guessed it, Bear a giraffe. Miranda runs around the counter.
MIRANDA: Oh I've missed you!
Gary thinks she's talking to him so prepares to kiss her, instead she kneels down to the twins.
MIRANDA: It seems like ages since I saw you!
GARY: Its only been an hour!
MIRANDA: It might as well be a lifetime!
She gets Beat out of the buggy, Gary picks up Bean and then gets a packed lunch from under the pram.
GARY: We thought we'd bring you some lunch before we headed off to Nanna's!
MIRANDA: Oh thank you! I'm starving!
GARY: You had a massive breakfast!
MIRANDA: I know, but keeping these two supplied with milk is hard work! Greedy things!
GARY: I can't argue with that! Bear guzzled her morning milk in under two minutes! That's two ounces a minute! Terrible wind after!
Penny enters.
PENNY: Follows her mother then! Ha! Such fun!
She walks over to Miranda.
MIRANDA: Morning mum!
Penny takes Bear from Miranda.
PENNY: Oh look at my gorgeous grandson!
MIRANDA: No mum, your gorgeous granddaughter! Gary's holding Bean, you've got Bear!
PENNY: It doesn't matter!
MIRANDA: It does a bit!
PENNY: Are you two ready to spend the day at Nanna's?
She puts Bear in the buggy, Gary gives Bean to Miranda who gives him a kiss, but has him swiftly taken off her by Penny. Bean joins his sister in the buggy.
GARY: If its too much, I can always take them with me?
PENNY: At a festival? I think not!
MIRANDA: Or I can have them here with me?
PENNY: No, no! They'll be fine with me!
MIRANDA: But mum!
PENNY: Such fun! Such fun!
Penny exits. Gary goes up to Miranda.
GARY: Don't worry, its only for a few hours! The festival finishes at three, I go and get them and the three of us will be waiting for you when you get home!
They kiss, Gary exits. Miranda sobs.
MIRANDA: I'm an emotional wreck, I blame the hormones entirely. I cry at everything! I saw an advert for dog food and cried because the dog looked hungry! I know! Pathetic! But no, I hate seeing them go, it breaks my heart every time I have to leave them! Stevie's on her honeymoon and I have no one to watch the shop! Its okay, she's back tomorrow so everything can go back to normal!
Miranda walks around the counter and picks up large novelty pen.
MIRANDA: We're registering the twins tomorrow! Yes I know! Why have we left it so long!? The simple answer is; WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO NAME THEM! Sorry, a bit aggresive there! Mum thinks we should go for Beatrice and Rupert! Dad thinks Eleanor and Hector! Its hell! We just can't think of anything that suits them! We want two names that compliment each other, but that also incorporates family names!
Charles hobbles in.
MIRANDA: Dad? What are you doing here?
CHARLES: Your mothers next door flaunting those beautiful grandchildren of ours. I thought I'd slip away and see you! She won't even notice I'm gone!
Miranda gets him a chair to sit on.
MIRANDA: Here sit!
CHARLES: You should be proud! There are two beautiful babies! I'm a very proud gramps, and father of course.
Miranda hands him a cup of tea.
MIRANDA: I am! I never you could love something as much as I love them two!
CHARLES: It the best thing about being a parent, the unconditional love you have for each other!
Miranda and Charles sip at their teas.
CHARLES: How are the names coming along? You can't expect us to keep calling them Bear and Bean now can you?
MIRANDA: Don't worry, we're working on it! I promise! We just want them to be perfect!
CHARLES: Whatever you choose will be perfect, you are their parents, you know them better than anyone else!
Charles gets up.
MIRANDA: Dad? Do you have a middle name?
CHARLES: William, why?
MIRANDA: No reason!
Charles blows a kiss and exits. Miranda starts sobbing again!
MIRANDA: Stupid hormones!
EXT: AT THE FESTIVAL - Gary is stood outside the van on the phone to his mother.
GARY: We're doing it tomorrow.
OLIVIA: Please tell me that you're not sticking with Bear and Bean? They're lovely nicknames, but aren't really proper names are they!
GARY: Mum, don't worry! Yes we are struggling to think of names but we'll get there! By the time we see you on the weekend, your grandchildren will have proper beautiful names! We just want them to be perfect!
OLIVIA: Whatever name you give them will be perfect! Just go with your gut!
GARY: Mum? Quick question, why does everyone call you Pam?
OLIVIA: Well, I'm Olivia Grace, my mother was Grace Olivia, and my grandmother was Olivia Grace, it got rather confusing, so everyone called me Pam!
GARY: So Olivia and Grave are both family names?
OLIVIA: Yes, you were going to be Grace if you were a girl! Oh darling, yer fathers home, hell be wanting his tea, better head off! Give the three of them a hug from me!
GARY: See you on the weekend!
Gary puts the phone down. He is about to ring Miranda but she beats him to it.
GARY: Hello, I was just about to ring you!
MIRANDA: (Sobbing) I think ...
GARY: Hey what's up? Why are you crying?
MIRANDA: Oh its okay, its just I saw a picture in the paper of a little girl who lost her teddy!
She starts crying.
GARY: Hey, I think I might have a name for Bear!
MIRANDA: Really? I think I might have a name for Bean, but you go first!
GARY: No, you go first!
MIRANDA: Okay, well I've been chatting to Dad, and he's been really supportive all my life, always been there for me, so I thought (BEAT) William Charles Preston, but we can call him Billy! What do you think?
GARY: I like it, William will go lovely with the name I've got! I was talking to mum, she's called Pam because her mum was called Grace and her grandmother Olivia, so I thought Grace Olivia Preston.
MIRANDA: William and Grace. I love them!
GARY: Have we done it? Have we finally chosen our children's names?
MIRANDA: I think we have! Billy Bean and Gracie Bear!
GARY: Lets keep it quiet until everyone is together on Saturday!
MIRANDA: Its so exciting! Oh no a customer has just come in, I better go! See you later!
GARY: Love you!
He puts the phone down, the lock scree. Is a picture of Miranda holding the twins.
GARY: William Charles and Grace Olivia. My perfect little twins!
SCENE ENDS.