A Year in the Hollow

by deepfriedcake

Follow Luke Danes and Lorelai Gilmore through their first year of acquaintance in the quaint little town of Stars Hollow. Month by month, their mutual love for Lorelai's daughter Rory causes the bond between the two of them to grow continually stronger. Starts with a story formerly posted as a one-shot, "Mother's Day Special."

18. April Resolved: Welcome Home

Notes: I don't do it very often, but I checked my stats page today and found out that I have stockpiled over 850,000 words here. Add in the five or six stories still languishing over at the late, great BWR, and my total is probably around 900,000 words written about my love affair with Stars Hollow in general and Luke and Lorelai in particular. If you don't write yourself, you probably don't realize how much time is invested in typing out those thousands of words, how many weekends are lost sitting in front the computer, how much 'fun stuff' is given up in order to satisfy my craving to give those two a happy ending. So I really want to thank everyone who weighed my credentials and trusted me to bring this story home too. On the other hand, I guess I finally discovered that ticking readers off means lots of reviews! Hee, don't worry, I won't put that knowledge to use again anytime soon. Thanks to all of you who have stuck around, and thanks to Eledgy, since she had to slog through this monster chapter with her red pen. And now, off we go...

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April Resolved: Welcome Home

Every time Luke closed his eyes, he saw lists.

Lists about what to order ahead for the diner. Lists of daily chores for the employees to follow while he was gone. Lists of schedules for the trainees. Reminders about what to shut off up in the apartment. What to pack. What to buy.

And every time he thought he was done, he thought of another list he should make.

Sunday and Monday had been a blur. He must have seen Rachel at some point, because he knew they were leaving on Wednesday and he would be gone for three weeks. He knew they were driving across the whole country until they reached Seattle, then they were flying to Alaska from there, and then he'd fly home alone, while Rachel went on to yet another assignment.

Rachel was busy with her own trip preparations. She'd been hired by a family magazine to take pictures of well-known – and some lesser known – tourist destinations across the upper part of the United States. The hook was that she was then supposed to find families living close to those attractions and determine where they were spending their summer vacations. Were they going to their hometown draws? Or, for example, were the Smiths of Minneapolis ignoring the Mall of America and driving all the way to Orlando instead? She was racing to get her research and contacts put together before they had to leave.

Luke, meanwhile, had temporarily hired Jolene's cousin's boy and Larry's younger sister to come in and help out while he was gone. Then he tried to find a couple of blocks of time to give them at least some rudimentary training.

On Monday he'd also gone to see Carl, who'd been his grill cook back when he'd first opened the diner. Carl had gotten him on his feet and then promptly retired. Although Luke had never thought of himself as a very persuasive speaker, somehow he'd gotten Carl to agree to come back and run the kitchen while Luke was on his cross-country boondoggle.

"Three weeks and not a day longer," Carl dourly reminded him. "I'm not getting out of bed on Day #22, so don't you even think about calling and telling me you're late coming home, you understand?"

"Believe me, that won't be a problem," Luke said, shaking the older man's hand in agreement.

Now it was Tuesday, with just one frantic day left before the trip. During the morning Luke had made a quick run to the bank with Jolene, to get her name added to the diner's account because he realized he needed somebody to write checks while he was gone.

He felt like he hadn't sat down or slept since Friday night, so plunking down at one of the dining room tables was a welcome relief. He spread out a couple of cookbooks, opened a calendar, and found a clean page in a well-used legal pad. His plan was to plot out the daily specials for the whole time he'd be gone, to make running the place a little bit easier on his staff.

Luke had about a week's worth of specials written down when he heard the bell chime. Looking up, he was stunned to see Rory walk in. Apparently he'd lost track of a couple of hours, because he didn't think it was anywhere close to time for school to dismiss.

"Hi," he said, getting up. He checked his watch to see how off he was, then froze in place. "Hey, what are you doing here? School shouldn't be out yet."

Rory looked thoroughly distressed. She wrung her hands and chewed her lips while slowly walking closer to where he stood at the table. "I cut school," she whispered, sounding terrified.

Flabbergasted, Luke fell back into the chair. "You did what?" he asked, thinking that he was so tired he must be hearing things.

"I'm playing hooky," she confessed, darting her eyes from side-to-side in the currently empty diner.

"No," Luke said automatically. "You wouldn't do that."

Rory nodded, still looking distraught, but looking a little bit proud of her daring, too. "I did. Mom was confused this morning, when I was getting ready to go. She thought I had a dentist appointment today. She started writing out the note to get me out early, but then she remembered it's not until next week. She threw the note away, but I –" Here Rory lifted her head and her eyes gleamed, just a little bit. "I pulled the note out of the trash when she wasn't looking, and I gave it to the secretary at school, so I could leave early."

Luke could only shake his head. "Why would you do that?"

"Because…" Rory's eyes filled and she blinked as fast as she could. "I wanted to make sure I got to see you before you go tomorrow."

Luke's heart turned completely over. "Rory, you know I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to you, don't you?"

"Maybe?" She hung her head and shuffled her feet anxiously.

"Rory, come on." He leaned over and grabbed her hands, guiding her into the chair next to him. "Nothing's changed between us. I'm going to take this little trip and I'll be back before you know it," he blustered, trying to sound much more confident about the forced time away than what he actually felt. "I'll come home and we'll all get back to normal."

She sighed, not buying what he was saying, and looked around the diner. "Are you going to make me go back to school?" she wondered.

He considered that carefully. "No," he finally said.

"Are you going to tell Mom?"

"No," he said immediately. Rory looked relieved, but then he spoke again. "I won't have to tell her, because you are."

"Ugh, do I have to?" she groaned.

"Oh, yes. You do, or I will." He fixed her with his sternest look.

"Fine," she grumbled, hunching unhappily down into the chair.

For the first time that he could remember, an uncomfortable silence filled the space between them. Luke couldn't think of a thing to say – or at least, nothing that wouldn't make him feel worse than he already did. Rory looked hesitant to say anything, too, but then it turned out she was braver than he was.

"Mom says you might not come back," she ventured, looking pale and apprehensive.

"What? No!" He shook his head hard enough to scramble the few brain cells he had left. "Of course I'm coming back!"

"She says you might find someplace you like better, and you might decide to open up a diner there. Someplace where you don't have to fight with Mr. Doose."

Luke leaned forward and placed both of his hands over Rory's. He looked her straight in the eye. "Your mother is crazy," he told her sincerely.

The tears glittering in Rory's eyes receded a little bit. She smiled the slightest bit. "Well…I guess that's true."

"Rory, I'm going on this trip. I'm going to spend some time with Rachel. I'm going to see almost half of the United States. I'm going to hike around a glacier in Alaska. And then I'm coming straight home. I promise you that."

The glittery tears reappeared. "You already promised."

"Promised what?"

She picked at the edge of the Band-Aid still on one knee. "When we talked about my dad. You said you'd never leave me and Mom, the way he did."

His throat almost closed up. "I meant that, Rory. I still do. Always. I'm only going away for a couple of weeks. I promise you, I will be back just as soon as I can."

Rory nodded, but looked less than convinced. "I hate that you're going," she said in a small, bitter voice.

Luke sighed. "I do too."

"Then why are you?" Rory demanded, scowling. "Just tell her no!"

He took off his hat and rubbed the back of his neck, wondering how to best explain this impossible situation to a young girl. "Have you…Has somebody ever dared you to do something?"

"Yeah, I guess." She shrugged, frowning. "Lane dared me to take a bite of one of her mom's muffins one time without soaking it in tea first."

"Well, this is sort of like a dare, I guess. Rachel dared me to go on a trip with her, and your mom dared me to go and see if I liked traveling with her or not."

"That's just stupid," Rory complained angrily. "Why didn't you just say you're happy here with us?"

"I did." Luke sighed again. "Over and over and over again," he grumbled.

"I don't get it! You're an adult. You don't have to do stuff if you don't want to!"

"Well, that's not exactly true. I have to get up early every morning, and I have to pay taxes, and sometimes I have to shave –"

"You know what I mean." Rory was not amused by his attempt at levity.

"Yeah, I know." He sat back and thought some more. "Do you remember when you first came into the diner by yourself, to get a cup of coffee for your mom?" Rory nodded, so he continued. "You came in, and you knew exactly what you wanted and why you wanted it, but I didn't believe you, did I? I kept asking you questions and made you prove to me that you were really getting the coffee for your mom, right?"

"Yeah…" she said slowly.

He nodded. "Well, this whole trip thing is sort of like that. I know what I want, Rory, I really do. But Rachel doesn't believe me. And that's OK – I could deal with that. But the real problem is that your mom doesn't believe me, either. She thinks that maybe I want to be with Rachel. And as crazy as it sounds, she thinks that the only way I can show her that I'm happy here with you guys is to go away with Rachel first."

Rory blew out a breath of disgust, hard enough to flap her lips.

"I know. Crazy, right?" Luke commiserated with her.

"No, it's not that," she complained. "It's just that's almost exactly the same story Mom fed me."

For the first time since early Saturday night, Luke smiled. "She did?"

"Yeah, only she added that she wants you to be sure about your feelings and most of all, she wants you to be happy with whatever you choose." Rory scowled at him. "I thought grown-ups were supposed to be smarter than this."

"Unfortunately it doesn't appear that we are."

There was a small pause of silence between them, but this time they were able to smile at each other. As the seconds passed, Rory's smile slowly faded away.

"But you really are going to come back, aren't you?" she asked timidly, obviously still in need of reassurance.

Luke leaned over and put his hands on either side of her face, gently making sure she was looking straight at him. "Rory, I promise you, I will be back. I won't be gone for one day longer than I have to be. And the second I get back, I'll come to see you. Even if you're still in school, I'll come right to your classroom. You have my word on that."

She searched his face and then nodded, before casting her eyes downward. "I don't think Mom believes it, though."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because she keeps doing that forced-cheerfulness thing she does when she's afraid I'll catch on that she's worried. And I think that's why she keeps telling me that you're going to have a great time, and might not want to come back, because she's scared that's what's going to happen."

Once again, Luke marveled at how intuitively Rory knew her mother. "I think you're right. I think she is scared." He moved one hand to her hair and let his fingers trail through it lovingly. "So, while I'm gone, can you do something for me?"

"Sure," Rory said earnestly.

"When you see that she's scared or worried, can you remind her that you know I'm coming back? Maybe if she sees that you believe it, she'll feel better."

Rory thought that over. "Yeah, I can do that."

"Just keep reminding her that I'll be counting the days until I can get back here to Stars Hollow – and to you two. I'd be really grateful if you can do that for me."

Her face brightened considerably. "I know! I'll make one of those countdown calendars for while you're gone. And then every day I'll cross off another day. I'll keep it in the kitchen so Mom can see it too."

"That's perfect," he praised her.

She tapped at the real calendar he had on the table. "I hate that you're going to miss Easter with us."

"Me too," Luke agreed.

"This is the first holiday you'll miss with us since we've known you," Rory continued to grumble.

"I know," he sighed.

"And you'll miss Mom's birthday."

Luke was well aware of that fact, and it was gnawing a hole in his heart. "I hate that," he admitted. "I'm going to try and figure out some sort of surprise to send her, though, or…something." He searched his brain again, but no good idea had surfaced yet. "I'm going to keep working on that. That's another promise you've got from me. I don't know what, but I promise I'll do something to make her happy on her birthday, OK?"

"OK," Rory nodded solemnly.

"OK," Luke repeated forlornly, feeling momentarily overwhelmed by all of the unknowns again.

"Will you send me a postcard?"

The simple request made him smile. "There's your third promise. I'll be happy to send you a postcard."

She smiled too, then pointed at all of the papers he had on the table. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to plan out all of the specials of the day for while I'm gone."

She scooted her chair closer to him and looked over his list. "You don't have tacos down," she soon commented.

"Hey, you're right. I don't." He penciled it in for a Thursday, then motioned at her. "You want to help me with this?"

"Yeah, that sounds like fun." She leaned on his shoulder to get a better view of his work.

And even though he knew he shouldn't, Luke relished having her head on his shoulder during an hour stolen from school.

---

Long after the diner had closed for the night, Luke crossed another item off of one of his interminable lists. When he heard a tapping at the door, he looked up and scowled at the interruption, but the second he saw it was Lorelai, he rushed over to let her in.

"Hi," he said, feeling completely tongue-tied.

"Hi," she said back. She used both hands to tuck her hair back behind her ears, looking down at the threshold between them. "I know it's pretty late, but can I come in?"

"Oh, yeah! Sure. Of course." He jumped to the side, giving her plenty of access to come through.

"So, uh, Mia's with Rory," Lorelai said, looking around at the diner instead of at him.

"She is?"

"Yeah." She pulled in her lips and nodded multiple times, nervously. "She came over to the house and said that I needed to get my butt over here to see you."

Luke smiled skeptically. "Really? Mia used the word 'butt?'"

A fleeting grin met his eyes. "That might have been my own interpretation."

For a few moments it all seemed fine between them, but then awkwardness began to creep in. Luke looked around, desperately wanting to find something to make it better. His eyes landed on the pile of lists still on the counter.

"Um, could I ask a favor of you?"

"Absolutely," she replied, looking grateful that he'd come up with something to say.

"I'm really lousy at packing. Would you come upstairs and help me with it?"

She glanced uncertainly at the back of the room, at the curtain dividing the public from the private. It hit Luke then that asking her to come upstairs to his apartment probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, under the circumstances. But she made up her mind quickly and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm a great packer." She waved her arms towards the unseen stairs. "Lead the way."

He locked the door, turned off some of the lights, and in single-file they silently climbed the stairs.

They entered the apartment. Luke flipped on the lights, then pretended not to watch as she pretended not to look around the place.

Lorelai marched over to the bed, where he'd laid out clothing and other things he thought he might need to take along.

"Where's your suitcase?" she asked, taking inventory of what was laying there.

"Don't have one." He reached past her and tugged on the heavy-duty green strap of his oversized duffel bag.

"Ha! Seriously, this is what you're using?" She flicked at the canvas distastefully.

"That's what I've got. Take it or leave it."

She sighed dramatically. "And I suppose you're wearing your usual green jacket?"

Luke nodded, folding his arms across his chest, allowing her to take her best shot.

"Well, at least you'll match. It will be easy to find your luggage. Like travel Garanimals."

Luke decided it was best not to admit he didn't know what that meant.

"So let's see here." Lorelai let her knuckles trail across the mountain of denim. "Looks like you're taking every pair of jeans you own."

"Except for the really ratty, grease-splattered ones."

"With enough plaid flannel to stretch across the continent, and enough white cotton to save Tara." She fingered his shirts and tees.

"It's a long time to be gone," Luke said, a little belligerently.

Her jaw clenched and she stopped talking. "Yeah, it is," she finally agreed, sounding subdued. She sighed again and poked around at the heaps of clothing. "Where's your good stuff?"

"Why would I need good stuff?"

"For going to restaurants, shows. Someplace nice."

"Yeah, that's not going to happen."

She looked at him curiously. "Why not?"

"This isn't a three week-long date. I'm just tagging along while Rachel works. And she hates dressing up and going someplace fancy almost as much as I do."

Lorelai winced, just a little, when he said the word 'date,' but she recovered quickly. "You need to be prepared, though. What if she has to go someplace nice to meet someone? Or if there's some kind of a business meeting you're forced to attend? Or what if, God forbid, you get sick of road food and want to eat at a 4-star place, just to break the monotony? You have to take along something, just in case."

Luke stared at her grumpily, knowing she was right. "I'm not taking a suit."

"No, just some nice pants and a shirt should do it. Oh, and a tie!"

Muttering, Luke walked over to pull some things out of the closet.

"Where are your shoes?"

"Wearing them," he said curtly, trying to decide which white shirt looked the least like it needed ironing.

"Well, we'll tackle that argument later, but what I meant was, where are your dress shoes?"

"Dress shoes?" He pulled his head out of the closet to gape at her.

"Yes, dress shoes. You can't put on nice pants and a spiffy shirt and then wear your old clunky workman's boots. You need dress shoes."

Luke grunted unhappily and bent down to floor, looking for his good shoes.

"And a nice belt for the nice pants!"

"Geez," he groaned. "See, this is why I hate dressing up. You need two separate wardrobes. It's just a stupid waste."

"Au contraire, my friend. You won't feel that way when all of the ladies flutter their eyelashes at your handsomely dressed self."

"Yes, that's exactly what I want to have happen," he deadpanned, dumping the good items of clothing on the bed.

"Great. Now let's talk shoes."

"Oh goody."

"Luke, seriously, you can't wear the same pair of heavy shoes every day for three weeks straight. If you don't care about your poor little toesies, at least take pity on your fellow airline passengers at the end of the trip."

"I'll be fine," he said, letting his eyes roll.

"Don't you have a pair of Keds? Flip-flops? Birkenstocks? Something to let your feet get out and breathe for a couple of hours?"

"Nope."

"Really? Or you're just done discussing it?"

"Both."

"OK," she sighed. "Moving on." She glanced over at him slyly. "Slippers?"

He fixed her with an exasperated look.

"Look, I'm actually serious here. You don't want to walk around the motel rooms in your bare feet. Take some slippers."

He shrugged. "I'll just wear socks."

This time she was the one to groan at his stubbornness. "Anyway…slippers leads us to nighttime. And since you once famously told me you don't wear pajamas to bed, I guess we have nothing to pack for you to sleep in."

Without comment, he leaned over and pulled a pair of sweatpants and a gray long-sleeved tee out from underneath the jeans.

"Ah, I see. It was a semantics thing." She grinned over at him.

"They're not pajamas."

"Technically that's true." Lorelai thoughtfully looked over the items spread out before her again. "Underwear? Socks? Or are you wearing the same ones of those over and over again too?"

Luke snapped his fingers. "That I've got." He hurried over to the kitchen table and picked up a plastic shopping bag. When he got back to the bed, he dumped out two packages of underwear and two of socks. "Thought I'd splurge and buy new," he explained.

Grinning again, she picked up one of the packages. "Guess I now know if it's boxers or briefs."

He gave her a slightly smug look. "Thought you might have been able to discern that on your front porch last week."

She giggled at his naughty reminder, but then the reason why she was packing for him became clear again and she sobered up. "Well, this is easy to pack, then."

Luke nodded. "That's probably it, right?"

"Are you kidding? Where's your swimsuit?"

"Swimsuit? Why the hell would I need a swimsuit?"

"Because there will probably be pools at the motels, and some might be indoors."

He snorted in distaste. "No."

"Luke, think about how nice it would feel to dive into a refreshing pool after a long, hot, dusty day in the car."

"It's the early part of April. Where do you think we're going that there's going to be dusty roads?"

"Well, I don't know!" She shrugged, a little irritated. "But I bet it would feel good at the end of the day, to get into a pool for a little bit."

He had a sudden, painfully clear vision of her in a pool. In a bikini. A tiny one. And he knew right then that the only reason he'd ever get in a pool anywhere would be if she was already in it, waiting for him. He had to clear his throat.

"No swimsuit," he muttered.

"Fine," she conceded, sounding miffed. "How about toiletries?"

"Yeah, I bought some of those little travel-sized things." He pointed at the plastic bag again.

She picked it up and gave it a little shake, peering into the bag to see what there was. "Aw, cute! You even got one of those fold-up toothbrushes!"

"Well, I didn't have one of those cap things to cover up my regular one."

"Do you have one of those little bags? What do you call them for guys? A shaving bag?"

"Um, no."

"Probably not a problem. You can just keep it all in this plastic bag. That way if anything's wet, it won't dampen your clothes."

"Sounds good," he nodded.

"Oh, and grab a trash bag."

"Why?"

"You can put your dirty clothes in it, so they don't get mixed up with your clean stuff. And if you get a chance to do laundry along the way, it will make it easier."

"Good idea." He went into the kitchen and opened the door under the sink, pulling one out.

"And since I'm not my mother, I won't make you pack a sweater, a light jacket, a raincoat and an umbrella."

"You're kidding," he chuckled, heading back over with the trash bag.

"I am not. The rules of travel according to Emily Gilmore. Be prepared for any contingency. Even if it's just a day trip, it's bad manners not to be properly equipped."

"Did you guys travel a lot when you were a kid?"

"Yeah. Well, enough. My dad traveled pretty much constantly, for his job." Idly, she began to fold up his shirts. "But we went on plenty of summer trips, spring break…That sort of thing. And my mom's sister lives in France, so we'd go see her every other year. And my grandmother, the original Lorelai, lives in England, so we'd have to go see her, too, when it was decreed."

Luke watched her intently, having one of those times when he realized just how much he still didn't know about her. "Do you miss it? Traveling to Europe?"

She stopped and really considered the question. "You know…I guess I don't. I've been so busy, with work and with Rory…I guess I didn't realize how long it's been since I've been away." She gave him a swift smile. "I hope that someday I can take Rory to see all of the places I've been. I know she'd appreciate it a whole lot more than I ever did."

He smiled softly back at her, nodding. "Yeah. She'd love it."

"Someday," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Someday," he said, adding on a silent promise, watching her. Slowly, her eyes came up to his and locked. The moment stretched out between them, full of all sorts of things they knew better than to say right then.

Lorelai tore away from their trance first. "OK," she said briskly. "Let's get packing. Literally." She picked up the shirts she'd folded and began to put them in the duffel.

"Whoa, no! You can't do that," Luke complained, grabbing the bag away from her.

"What are you talking about? We've got to pack it up, right?"

"Yeah, but not like that." Luke put the strap over his shoulder, demonstrating. "I'm carrying it like this. You put all of that stuff in there like that, and it's all just sliding to the bottom in a big mess."

Lorelai was looking at him in consternation. "Then how am I supposed to do it?"

"You need to roll everything up."

"Roll them up?"

"Yeah." Luke shook out a pair of jeans, folded them in two, then rolled them up from the hem. "See? This takes up less room, and supposedly keeps them from wrinkling, too. And they can all live harmoniously together in the duffel bag."

Lorelai looked from the rolled up denim to the huge, cavernous bag. "I don't know why you needed me, then. You know how to do it better than I do."

Luke choked back a laugh, because for once, he was the one dying to make a dirty retort. He could feel his eyes twinkling as he looked at her, and saw recognition break across her face as she realized what she'd said.

"Oh, you!" she giggled, swatting at him. "Anyway, my argument is…" She pursed her lips at him, making her point. "I don't understand why you couldn't have packed by yourself, since you obviously know the proper technique – Stop it!" she ordered, before he could say anything again.

He chuckled a few more times. "I get impatient. After a while, I just start throwing stuff in."

"All right then." She took the bag back from him, looking at it distrustfully. "So if this end becomes the bottom, I guess shoes and the heavier things go down here." She rolled up his tie and tucked it into one of his dress shoes. "Go get some fancy socks for these shoes."

"Geez," Luke groaned. But he went to the dresser and found some thin black socks, appropriate for the slacks. "Hey, did you ever ask Mia why she didn't say anything about who Adam was?"

"Pretty much what we thought." Lorelai was industriously rolling. "For a long time they didn't think that Rachel was coming, so she didn't think there was any reason to upset us by telling us. I guess it was just the week before the wedding when she finally made up her mind to come."

Luke walked the socks over to her. "So, Mia knew that we were, uh…"

Lorelai took the socks from him and tucked them into the other shoe. "Luke, I think everyone knew. Probably long before we did."

"Yeah," he sighed. He watched her hands for a minute, rolling and tucking, mesmerized.

"Don't you have anything else to do?" she asked pointedly.

"Yeah, sure. If you've got this…?"

"I've got this," she smiled.

"OK, then I'll…" he gestured vaguely over at the kitchen, where he had probably twelve different lists to look over.

"Go," she told him.

He clicked through some of his chores, thinking how nice it was to have Lorelai there with him. Working together, chatting. But nice wasn't exactly the right word, though. Perfect. That was a better description. Having her here with him was perfect.

He was looking through the refrigerator, seeing what he needed to throw out or send home with her, when he realized she hadn't said anything for a while. Concerned, he turned to look over at her.

She was clutching one of his flannel shirts to her chest, her head bowed down over it. With a stab of remorse, he realized it was the one she gave him for his birthday. He shut the refrigerator door and started over to her, yearning to provide some comfort.

But before he could get there, she jerked her head up and straightened her spine. He could almost see her getting back into control.

Sensing his approach, she looked over her shoulder at him. "You know, it's OK to sleep with her," she tossed out airily.

Luke stopped dead. "What?!"

"With Rachel. I mean, I assume you will. It's cool."

He wondered if he was having a stroke. "It's cool?" he scoffed.

"You guys were lovers, right? And probably went right back to it every time she came home, didn't you? And you know, I understand how that goes. Easy to fall back into the same pattern."

"You know that, do you?" he taunted, grinding out the words.

"Yeah. When Chris would show up…There's sort of a shorthand, you know? I mean, they know you, you know them. Pretty easy to end up right back where you were."

"So you and Chris fall back into bed whenever he's around, huh?" he sneered.

"We have. I mean, it's been a while." She nodded sharply. "Sometimes it's just nice to have the physical without anything else. It's not like I've had the time to devote to a real relationship or anything. And Chris likes me, I like him. There's affection there, if nothing else."

"Well, isn't that nice?" he said coldly.

"Look, Luke, all I'm saying is that you're going to be with her for a long time, and the reason you're going in the first place is to see if you still want a life with her. I don't think you can know that without dipping back into the physical stuff. And I understand. I do. I don't want you to feel guilty about it when it happens, that's all."

He crossed his arms over his chest, trying to stay calm, in spite of the turmoil churning inside of him. "Let's suppose Chris shows up here next week, while I'm gone. You're going to sleep with him?"

Lorelai's eyes snapped up to his and her super-cool façade vanished. "No," she said slowly, "I wouldn't. Not…not now."

"And I'm not sleeping with Rachel, whether or not I've got your permission," he said sarcastically.

"But –"

"There's no 'but.' I'm not going on this trip to sleep with an old girlfriend."

"Luke –"

"I don't get it, Lorelai, I really don't!" The desire to rant was building. "Most of the time you look like this is killing you, and then you turn around and say something like that, like you don't care at all!"

Her lips quivered as she drew in a deep breath. "That's because…it is killing me." She tried hard to smile. "That's why I have to say stuff like that every now and then, to remind myself that I'm tough enough to handle it."

"Lorelai, this is ridiculous. I don't want to go. You don't want me to go. Why the hell are we doing this?"

She looked like she was trying to come up with an answer, but suddenly Luke decided he'd had enough of words. Maybe it was time for actions to take over. He closed the distance between them in a flash, his arms reaching for her.

"No, don't. Please," she said, but he was already wrapped around her, holding her to him tightly.

He found her lips and tried to tell her through kisses alone how much he wanted to stay with her. All at once she came alive in his arms, kissing him fiercely, pressing herself against him as securely as she could.

Hope and relief began to seep into his skin, easing that continual knot of tension in his stomach. Kissing was the answer, and he was an idiot not to have thought of it before. He caressed the curve of her spine and worked a hand under her hair, to anchor her head while he remembered the pleasures of her mouth. He started to think in a sort of an abstract fashion about the bed that was directly behind him, and how fortunate it was that Lorelai was such a champion packer because now it was clear of all obstructions. Maybe falling into bed was what they should have done immediately, instead of arguing about some ridiculous trip. Maybe that would prove to be the simple solution to all of their woes.

At least, that's what Luke was thinking right up until he felt her tears on his cheek. He broke the kiss immediately, pulling his head back in dismay.

Lorelai put both hands on his chest and pushed, freeing herself from his embrace. "I can't! I can't do this!" she cried, stumbling backwards a few feet. "Don't you get it? I do this and I'll break! I'll break – and that's the one thing I can't do!" She tossed back her hair and wiped the tears from her face. "I've got Rory – you know that, Luke! I'm Mom first, so I can't break down. I can't wallow. I can't cry myself sick for a week. I can't go out and get drunk three nights in a row, to try and drown the pain. So don't…Oh, please…don't…"

He reached for her anyway.

"Don't," she whispered, her eyes closing.

As gently as he possibly could, he brought her to the bed. He sat down on the edge of the mattress, encouraging her to join him, but not insistently. Once she did, he pulled his legs up and moved to the far edge of the surface, laying down, and again urging her to come along with him.

"Luke…"

"Shhh." He helped her to tuck up against him, holding her protectively. He rubbed her back and massaged her scalp, dropping light kisses to the top of her head occasionally. Gradually he felt her relax and burrow her face deeper into his side. Her arm crossed over his chest, returning his embrace.

"I need this," he told her quietly, after many minutes of mutual contentment. "When I'm gone, this is what I'm going to hold close, what I'm going to focus on. Lying here, with you, like this. This is what I'll need to get through it."

Lorelai raised her head a few inches, beginning to scowl. "The whole point of you going isn't to remember us, Luke! It's supposed to be a way for you to make sure you're not giving up on Rachel too soon. It's supposed to allow you to explore options in your life. It's not something for you to 'get through' and then come back to the same old thing! This is an opportunity for you to change things up, if that's what you want!"

"I don't want to change things up! I've got everything I want right here!" he said in exasperation, putting a hand on her shoulder. "The only reason I'm going at all is because you're making me!"

She shook her head. "Let's get this clear. You're not doing this for me. You're not doing this for Rachel. You're doing this for you. Before you say 'I'm sure,' you need to at least consider some other options. I don't want you to settle."

Now he shook his head, scoffing. "Right. This is settling, all right. Being with you is definitely choice number two."

Lorelai leaned on her elbow and pushed herself up more, leaning on his chest so she could see him better. "OK, then let's say this instead. You're doing this for Rory."

That got his attention. "Rory?"

Lorelai nodded, looking down for a second. "She loves you. You know that, right?"

Something pinched his heart so hard he could hardly breathe.

"She does," Lorelai continued, watching his face. "You are one of the few people in her life that she loves and trusts and depends on. There's no doubt she's going to be lonely without you. But even so, if you'd take your life in another direction right now, she could handle it. As long as you stayed in touch, still let her know you cared, she'd survive. I'd help her, and it'd be OK. But if you and I go deeper, and she thinks…" Lorelai bit her lips and shook her head helplessly. "Then it would be bad. Really bad. That's why you have to go. That's why you have to be honest with yourself before you're honest with me, or even with Rachel. Before I let this become anything more, you have to be 100% sure. Because otherwise, I can't take the chance. I can't risk Rory over this."

He heard her. For maybe the first time, he felt her message, instead of letting the words merely bounce off of his stubbornness. He hesitated before he spoke, changing his mind several times about what he wanted to say.

"Aren't you supposed to be the selfish one?" he finally asked. "What happened to that? We wouldn't be in this predicament if you would have just had a catfight with Rachel as soon as she showed her face in town." He smiled sadly, deciding at the last moment not to say anything more serious.

"You're right." Lorelai smiled back, just as poignantly. "This is all my fault."

She cuddled down against his chest and he held her there with one arm, the fingers on his other hand running through her hair while he looked up at the ceiling, enjoying their bittersweet interval to the fullest.

"Hey, do you have a picture?" he asked after a spell.

"A picture?"

"Of you," he clarified. "I've got Rory's school pictures in my wallet, but I don't have one of you. It would be nice, to have one to take along with me."

"To pine over?" Lorelai did her best to tease.

"Not for pining. Just to remind me of home…and why I'm gone."

She watched him thoughtfully. "I could probably find something."

"I'd appreciate it." He held her tighter for a minute or two, sensing that this precious time together was drawing to a close. He wasn't surprised when he felt Lorelai sigh and stir, moving away from him.

"I'd better be getting home, before Mia calls looking for me."

Affectionately, he put his hand on her bottom, giving it a little shake. "Yep, better get this cute butt home."

Swinging her legs to the floor, she chuckled. Once she stood up, she turned back, offering her hand to help him up. He captured her hand and held it in his until they reached the door.

"Don't come down," she requested.

"What? Why?"

She smiled, but it was strained. "I just think…that's easier. Come down after I'm gone to lock the door, or whatever else you need to do, OK?"

He sighed, but sort of understood her point. "Be careful walking home." He pushed her hair back, once again trying to memorize the curve of her cheek, the way her eyelashes spiked around her eyes. "I'll see you in the morning, right?"

She kept on smiling, and tenderly cupped his face. "Get some sleep." Her thumb stroked across his whiskery cheek, she pushed up to her tiptoes and very, very gently, kissed his lips. "Have a wonderful trip, Luke. Travel safe." One more smile, one more gentle caress. And then she was gone.

Luke went to the window, watching for her to walk down the sidewalk. At the corner she paused and he leaned forward, thinking she'd turn around to wave. But instead she kept walking on, her shoulders set in determination.

Once she was out of sight, he went down to lock up the diner again. And then he picked up the pile of lists, to see what else he still needed to do.

---

The next morning, nothing seemed real. Not the fake sun coming up in the fake sky. Not the unfamiliar residents walking down the sidewalks as if they were extras on a movie set. Not the shiny new red rental car Rachel's assignment editor had arranged for her to use during the next two weeks.

Unreal or not, Luke opened the trunk and put his duffel bag inside. He helped Rachel load up her bags and bags of gear, until there was nothing left to do but open the door and climb inside himself. But he dawdled, finding an unending number of reasons why he needed to step back inside the diner one more time.

At last he spotted Rory rushing around the corner, hurrying towards him. He took a couple of steps her way, eager to see her, but then he saw the look on her face, apprehension mixed with guilt. That was when he realized she was alone, that there were no high heels and long legs accompanying her. He stopped still, a huge, empty pit opening up in his middle.

"I'm here," Rory said breathlessly, meeting his eyes for one fraught moment before nervously looking away. "Are you about ready to leave?"

"Pretty much," Luke said through the sand in his mouth. And then, because he had to ask, "Where's your mom?"

Rory shook her head, looking crushed. She was holding a letter tightly in her right hand, and now she offered it to him. "She says to read this."

Swallowing hard against the overwhelming disappointment, Luke took the letter, holding it distrustfully.

"Hey, Rory!" Rachel spotted her and waved happily. "On your way to school?"

Rory cast one more worried glance Luke's way before turning her focus to Rachel. "Yeah. Are you ready to go?"

"We sure are!"

"Where are you heading first?" Rory asked.

The enticement of travel and Rachel's cheerfulness lured Rory away from Luke, for which he was grateful. He walked over to the corner of the building and leaned against it, wanting to be mostly hidden as he read Lorelai's letter.

A picture fell out first, when he ripped open the envelope. He put it aside, not wanting to see it at the moment. Holding his breath, he unfolded the piece of notebook paper inside, and let his eyes soak up Lorelai's words.

Hi Duke!

I know you're hurt that I'm not there. I wish I could be, but I guess we found the limit of how strong I am, and it's saying goodbye to you. It's easier for me to pretend you're already gone. So this is me, now using my well-known selfishness for protection. I hope you understand.

The picture. Probably not what you were expecting! But I hope you like it anyway. Mia took it the day Rory and I moved into the potting shed. I've noticed that you often call us 'your girls,' so I'm sending you a picture of us from when that's what we really were.

Someone once told me, when I was going on a date I didn't want to go on, that "It was OK to have fun." Now I'm reminding you of the same thing. Go and have fun. Enjoy time with your old friend. See cool stuff. Embrace everything. Don't shut yourself off from all of the possibilities. Whatever happens, whatever you decide to do, it'll be OK. I promise.

Lorelai*

He read it over three times before he realized that the asterisk next to her name was supposed to be a snowflake. That secret knowledge made him smile. She'd written something else above her name, but she'd crossed it out repeatedly. No matter which way he turned the letter to the light, he couldn't make out what it was.

He then focused his attention on the picture, and that made him smile, too. Lorelai was young, all right. Her face still had some babyish roundness to it, the way Rory's did now. But still, it was obviously her. The spark in her eyes, the impish tilt of her lips. Her hair was long, flowing almost to her waist, where a proper maid's apron was tied. She balanced an adorable 1-year-old Rory on one hip. Rory was all big, somber eyes and short, dark curls. She held one hand up in a fist, as if she hadn't quite figured out the whole waving business yet.

His girls.

Sighing, he put the picture back into the folded letter, put both items back into the envelope, and then tucked the envelope into an inside pocket of his jacket. Somehow knowing it was there, safe, made him feel better. As if it might be enough to protect him on the road.

Feeling stronger, he walked to where Rachel was keeping Rory occupied. Rachel looked him over as he got closer, as if she was assessing his mood.

"You'd better be getting to school," he warned Rory, putting one hand on her shoulder, squeezing it affectionately.

Rory spun around and looked at him, with those same somber eyes she'd had as a baby. "Are you OK?" she asked, worry heavy on her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I know Mom feels bad about not being here." Rory looked down at the ground, bobbing her head nervously. "I'm really sorry, Luke."

Rachel quietly moved to the other side of the car, deliberately stepping out of hearing range.

"It's OK. I understand why. I hate not seeing her, but I understand."

Rory nodded, but pinched her lips together and her eyes filled with tears.

"Hey." He bent down, to be more on her level. Remembering what Lorelai had said last night, as well as in the letter, he put his hands on either side of Rory's face, wanting her to see how seriously he meant what he was about to say. "I love you, Rory. You're my girl. You know that, right? That's never going to change."

She gulped, took a breath, then nodded.

He leaned in to kiss her forehead and she threw her arms around his neck, a little off-balance because of the weight of the backpack. "I love you too," she whispered into his ear, and he clutched her to him a little bit tighter.

"Help your mom to be OK while I'm gone," he whispered back, smoothing down her hair. "Now, where am I going to be, exactly three weeks from today?"

She leaned away, smiling a little bit.

"Right here."

"And who am I going to come see first?"

"Me." She was grinning now.

"You remember that." He pretended to nod at her sternly.

They both straightened up.

"You'd better be getting to school," he reminded her.

"OK." She shifted her backpack, smiled stiffly, and began walking down the sidewalk. "Bye, Rachel."

"Bye," Rachel replied, waving cheerfully.

On heavy legs, Luke walked over to the car and opened up the passenger side, but before he could climb in, small arms were again tightening around his middle.

"I just…I needed one more hug," she explained. "And I forgot to tell you to have a good time. And…goodbye," she faltered, hugging him hard.

"See you soon," Luke promised, finding out he wasn't good at goodbye either. With painful reluctance, he broke the hug. "Now, get to school before they count you tardy."

Once in the car, he stared straight out of the windshield. He knew he didn't dare watch her walk off.

Rachel bounced into the driver's seat, clicked her seat belt, and adjusted the mirrors one more time. Then with a flourish, she turned towards him. "All right, Luke, listen up. I'm going to tell you one of the most important things you can know about traveling."

He shrugged, not really caring. "Go ahead."

"This, right here, right now – this is the best part of the whole trip."

Luke took stock, cataloging a stomach that was threatening mutiny, a head that was beginning to ache, and the labored way he had to breathe to keep air moving in and out of his lungs. "This is the best part?" He thought he never wanted to find out what the worst was, if this was the best.

"Yep!" Rachel was aglow in happiness, beaming in a way he'd never seen before, not even back in those early years when he thought she was happy with him. "There's nothing better than the first morning of a trip. The car's full of gas, the maps are all laid out, and there's nothing to do but go. Do you feel it? The anticipation? All that's left is to get on the road and see where we are at nightfall." She grinned at him again, breathing in deeply as she turned the keys in the ignition. "You can feel, it, right?"

"Not…not yet."

"Well, you will." She swung the car out into the street and pushed firmly on the gas pedal, eager to get out of town. "You'll see. It's magical out on the road, Luke. It really is."

Luke wished there was some magic he could conjure up to make the sick feeling in his gut go away, maybe some magical way to skip over the next three weeks and be back home again.

He glanced over at Rachel, having to squint against her brightness. Even the gold highlights in her hair seemed to be giving off sparks of excitement. He'd never seen her look this way. Ever. But…he had seen someone else look just as bright and happy, very recently.

Lorelai. He choked up, remembering how she'd looked at him, just seven short days ago.

Two minutes into the trip, and Luke already knew it was a huge mistake.

---

They pulled into the parking lot of yet another Day's Inn.

It looked like every other parking lot he'd seen for the better part of two weeks. True, there were mountains in the background of this one, but then, there had been an awful lot of mountains recently. And frankly, they all sort of blended together, one range flattening and then another rising again as the miles sped past. Sunshine and rain. Pine trees and snow. Green grass and sharp rocks. He supposed that Rachel's pictures of them did justice to their majesty, but he was simply tired of looking at them.

They shifted into their end-of-the-day routine. They stood for a minute beside the car, stretching out the leg cramps. Rachel gathered up her camera bags and notebooks, while he stepped inside the lobby and found a luggage cart. He wheeled it out to the car and popped open the trunk, and started to load up their paraphernalia. Rachel's suitcases, more photo equipment. His worn duffel bag, the two new suitcases he'd had to buy.

Rachel came around the car and joined him, several bags hanging over her shoulders and the ever-present camera looped around her neck like an especially cumbersome strand of pearls. She checked the trunk to make sure nothing was hiding in the corners that needed to come in.

Luke got the wheels on the cart all rolling the right way and pushed it up the gently inclined ramp to the front entry. They entered and automatically got in line in front of the desk.

When it was Rachel's turn, she asked for a room. She no longer even tried to get him to consider sharing. She signed the credit card slip, pocketed the key card, and stepped to the side so he could register.

The clerk gave him a tired smile. "Smoking or non-smoking, sir?"

"I…" Luke began, then stopped. Suddenly he knew he couldn't handle one more night in one more cookie-cutter room. He didn't want to see one more seascape picture above yet another pink and aqua bedspread. He didn't want to squeeze into bed beside an oak desk with brass handles. He didn't want to have to fiddle with the air conditioning unit until it started to refresh the stale air in the room.

He drew a deep breath and realized that the clerk was frowning at him impatiently. "Um, you have an airport shuttle service, right?"

The clerk nodded. "We do indeed."

"Is there one going yet tonight?"

The man checked the clock on the wall to his right. "Yes, in about 45 minutes."

Luke nodded. "Good. I'll just sit and wait for it then."

Rachel grabbed his arm. "Luke, what do you think you're doing?"

He shook her off and pulled his duffel and two suitcases free from the pile of stuff on the cart. "I'm going home."

"Luke! Don't be ridiculous!" She pushed the cart off to the side and then followed him over to a tasteful arrangement of chairs in the lobby. "We don't fly to Alaska until tomorrow. I mean, seriously, we just got here!"

"No, Rachel, that's not true." He stacked his luggage and then lowered himself tiredly down into one of the fake leather chairs. "We got here about two years ago." He smiled sadly up at her confused face. "I was just too stubborn to admit it."

She nervously perched on the edge of another chair. "I don't understand."

"We've been here, at the end of our particular road, for a long time. You knew it. I knew it too – I just didn't want to admit it." He shook his head slowly and tried to smile kindly. "I've been thinking a lot about why, trying to figure out why I held on to the idea of us for so long. And I guess a lot of it was because I was scared that if I let you go, I'd never find anyone else."

"God, Luke, why would you ever think such a ridiculous thing?"

He rubbed his forehead, trying to find the words to explain one of the new insights this trip had provided. "It didn't seem ridiculous to me. At least, not while it was happening. I think my tunnel vision about you, about us, was all wrapped up in how much influence my parents had on me."

Rachel looked perplexed. "Explain, please."

"You heard my dad talk about my mom, right?"

A slight smile passed over her face. "Many times."

Luke nodded. "You know how crazy he was about her. As far as he was concerned, theirs was a love story for the ages, although he would have rather walked over hot coals than say something girly like that. They met in high school, just like we did. They knew they were supposed to be together – just like we thought, at the beginning. And when my mom died…"

Rachel leaned over and took his hand, squeezing it with sympathy.

Luke shrugged. "It didn't matter that she was gone, she was still the only one for my dad. When he gave his heart to my mom, it was forever. And since all my life, I've tried to be just like my dad…"

"Oh, Luke," Rachel sighed.

"So you see, if I let you go, it obviously meant I'd be alone for the rest of my life, because we Danes are one-women men. And I wasn't ready to face that idea, so I thought I could force you to be someone else. Someone who'd want to stay home with me, to keep me from being alone." He smiled ruefully at her. "By the way, I totally understand, now, why you left. You need to be out here, doing what you're doing."

Rachel closed her eyes. Her fingers reflexively twisted the lens on the camera resting against her chest, a nervous habit. Slowly she opened her eyes, the truth escaping with a sigh. "I came home this time out of guilt."

"Guilt about what?"

"You, of course. It felt like I was…a prisoner, in some ways. Like I was always running, just to escape your expectations. I thought that maybe, this time, I could find a way…either to be happy here or to finally settle things."

"Geez, Rachel – that's terrible."

"It was terrible. I was terrible."

"You're not terrible."

"Luke, yes I was! You don't…you don't even know." The lens twisted one way, then the other. "I stayed away deliberately. Missed birthdays and family things, holidays. Took assignments I didn't want to do, just to have an excuse not to come home and face you. I wanted to show you that I was all right, that it didn't bother me to be away. It made me angry to know you were still here, refusing to give up on me. I didn't want that. I never asked for you to do that."

"I know you didn't," he agreed, quietly.

She breathed in, shakily. "And then I finally came home, and saw that you had changed at last…just not for me."

"Rachel –"

"And there it was, what I'd said I'd always wanted…" She took another deep breath, then smiled painfully. "You, over me. I never thought it would happen, Luke. I thought I was safe insisting that was what I wanted, because I believed – I knew – you'd still be here waiting for me. Seeing you happy with someone else unhinged me. It made me feel…rootless. Like I had no center anymore. It made me desperate. Made me think I could somehow force you to change for me, too. That maybe we could still find a way to make us work."

Luke leaned forward in his chair, looking down at his clasped hands between his knees. He rubbed them together, searching for the words he needed. "You need to understand, I didn't change for Lorelai. I changed because of Lorelai. She and Rory…changed me. It wasn't forced. It happened…because it was supposed to happen." He stopped and thought for a moment. "Man, there were a lot of years where I cursed the photo-taking." He tapped his finger against the camera, looking into her face. "There were a lot of very angry years because I couldn't make us into the couple I wanted us to be. But now I realize there was a reason why behind it all, and that reason is because it wasn't right. It wasn't right for either of us."

"And that…that makes me very sad." She pressed her lips together and looked around the bland lobby for a minute. "I know it's true, but it still makes me sad."

Luke looked around the lobby too, his eyes finally landing on the TV showing news clips up on the wall. "Hey, when you were little, maybe 8 or 9, did you have a favorite TV show?"

"Uh, sure?" Rachel shrugged her shoulders, then frowned as she thought harder. "I was pretty involved with the Partridge Family for a while. I really wanted to learn to sing and travel on that bus with David Cassidy."

Luke grinned. "Have you watched it since you've grown up? Or any of those old sitcoms from when we were kids?"

"Some, I guess. I mean, I've seen Bewitched and Gilligan's Island and things, but usually they've been dubbed into another language."

Luke leaned forward, eagerly now. "Well, trust me, they're terrible."

"Oh?"

"Oh yeah." He nodded, settling his back against the chair, prepared to tell her all about it. "There's a network, called Nickelodeon, aimed at kids Rory's age. They show all of the old shows like that. Rory loves to watch them, which means I've seen plenty of them, too. Geez, they're awful. I mean, sometimes a few of the jokes are kind of funny, but usually they make you cringe instead. Seeing the old actors try so hard, hearing the canned laughter…it's terrible."

"OK?" Rachel shook her head, confused at what his point was.

"What I'm trying to say is that back when we were young, when we were watching them and laughing over them, we didn't know any better. We thought they were great. We didn't know that eventually there would be Cheers and Cosby and a bunch of other stuff that would put the Partridge Family to shame."

"Are you…" Rachel looked at him askance. "Are you comparing our love affair to bad sitcoms?"

"No!" Luke rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, yeah. Kind of, I guess."

"Well, doesn't that make me feel a lot better?"

"What I'm trying to say is that we loved those shows when we were kids. But we grew up. We found…other points of reference. We got more discriminating. And even though hearing those old theme songs might make us feel nostalgic, we really don't want to watch them again. Now we know…there are better shows to watch…" He trailed off uncomfortably.

Rachel sighed loudly, but no longer seemed distraught. She smiled. "You're going home," she stated.

He nodded confidently. "I'm going home." He reached over and took her hand. "I'm not sorry that we had this time together, though."

She studied him thoughtfully for a moment or two. "I'm not either."

"Good," he nodded, releasing her hand and sinking back into the chair again. A moment of silence went by, and then he smiled at her, sort of guiltily. "And I guess I should admit, the traveling's not as bad as I thought it might be. There's plenty to see outside of Connecticut. And you're a pretty good travel guide."

Rachel grinned back. "Thanks. I won't even say I told you so."

"I appreciate that."

Another bit of silence passed, and then Rachel spoke up. "So it's Lorelai, huh?"

"It's definitely Lorelai."

"When did you know?"

"When did I know what?"

Rachel smiled at his deflection. "That she was the one. The real one."

He thought back through the past kaleidoscope of months. "I think…to be honest…it was probably the very first time I ever saw her. But you know me." He smiled at her. "I'm stubborn. It took a very long time before I was ready to admit it."

She nodded knowingly. "I can believe that," she said lightly, but then bit her lips together. "Luke, I want you to know – I hope you're really happy with her. I hope you get that family you want." She looked over at him, her eyes shiny with tears. "I really mean that."

"Thanks, Rachel." He patted her knee, one old friend to another. "And I hope you find the guy who's supposed to be traveling with you."

She put her hand on top of his. "Now that I've cleared up some loose ends and lost the guilt, I bet I do." She patted his hand, then sat back in her own chair. "Do you mind if I sit here until the shuttle comes? I'd like to stay until it's time to say goodbye."

Luke nodded. "I'd like that, yeah." The thought made him smile. "Stay and say goodbye."

---

Two hours later, Luke sat in a waiting area in the Seattle airport, his eyes glued to the letters spelling out "on time" beside his flight number. He had an irrational fear that if he didn't keep watching the board, his flight to Dallas would disappear.

A commotion drew his focus away. A woman about Mia's age had lost the handle of her carry-on bag and was in the process of dropping her purse, magazines, and everything else she had been clutching. Luke jumped up to help her.

"Here, just have a seat," he suggested, helping her to step over her own debris field. Once she was safely in a chair, he picked up her assorted belongings and piled them next to her.

"Thank you so much," she told him, sighing in relief. "It's been a long day. My hands have lost their grip, it seems."

"No problem," he told her cheerfully. He leaned forward eagerly, once again scanning the board for his flight status.

"You must love to travel," the woman observed.

"Me?" Luke laughed. "No, I hate it!"

The woman laughed too. "You seem pretty happy for someone who hates traveling."

Luke felt the buzz of anticipation flowing through his veins. He couldn't stop smiling. He could barely sit still in his seat. "That's because I'm not traveling now. I'm heading home."

"Oh, well, that's what travel is all about, you know."

"What's that?" Luke looked over at her, tearing his focus away from 'on time.'

"Like what Dorothy found out in the Wizard of Oz." The gray-haired lady pulled a magazine out of her purse, then cast one final smile his way. "There's no place like home."

Luke nodded happily. "That's right," he said. "That's absolutely right."

---

"Luke, sure you don't want me to drop you at the diner?"

"No," Luke said irritably, his hands braced on the dash of Ed Tallman's pickup. His foot was pressing on an invisible gas pedal on the floorboard in front of him, fruitlessly trying to make the truck go faster.

"Lorelai know you're coming?"

"No," he said shortly.

"But you think she's going to be glad to see you, do you?"

"I hope so," Luke snapped. "If I ever get there," he added under his breath.

"Going too slow to suit you, am I?"

"No, Ed, I –"

"My hearing's fine, just so you know."

"Ed, I didn't mean –"

"You just mean you're anxious to see Lorelai."

Luke decided to only answer what was asked. "Yes."

Ed signaled and took the turn leading into Stars Hollow. "She hasn't been looking too chipper lately."

"She's been sick?" Concern made his voice sharp.

"No, no, not sick. Just sort of…" Ed took his eyes from the road long enough to give Luke a pointed look. "Sad."

He hung his head. There was really nothing he could say to that.

"But you've got a plan to take care of that, I trust?"

"I don't know if it's a plan exactly, but yeah, this is getting resolved."

"Might help matters if you'd stop running off with old girlfriends."

"I didn't run off – and anyway, that was Lorelai's idea, not mine!"

"Calm down, son. I know you'll make this right." Ed turned down Lorelai's street. "And if you don't, I promise I'll kick your butt."

"No butt-kicking necessary," Luke said tersely, his eyes fixed on the blue house on the corner.

The truck had scarcely stopped moving before Luke was out of the door, grabbing his bags out of the bed.

Ed rolled down his window. "I have to say, I was surprised to see you hauling so many bags. I would've guessed you for a light traveler."

"Two-thirds of these aren't mine," Luke muttered cryptically. As much as he was dying to get to the house, he took a few moments to say what was needed. "Ed, I can't thank you enough for driving all the way into Hartford to pick me up. I've been stuck in more airports than I can count today, waiting on flights. I guess I could have rented a car at Bradley, but all I could think about was finding a ride to get home. Hope you don't mind that I called you."

"Happy to help, Luke." Ed put the truck in reverse, slowly started rolling backwards. "Those girls are going to be mighty happy to see you." He gave Luke a nod. "Good luck."

He barely noticed the weight from the duffel bag hanging down his back, or from the packed suitcases grasped in each hand. He practically leaped up the porch steps, then let go of one case in order to knock on the door.

Rory's face, when she opened the door and saw him, was a study in stunned, shocked happiness. "Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke!" she shrieked, flinging her arms as far around him as she could. "What are you doing here? There's still another week to go on the calendar!"

Before he could answer, she figured it out, bouncing up and down on her toes. "This is the surprise! You're Mom's birthday present!"

"Something like that, yeah." He was too nervous and anxious to properly appreciate seeing Rory. "Where is your mom?"

"She went next door to see Babette for a minute." Rory flattened herself against the open door, so he could gather his stuff and come inside. "She is going to flip out when she sees you!"

"How have you guys been?" he asked, dropping his stuff on the living room floor and greedily looking around at the familiar room.

"Oh, you know. OK," Rory shrugged. "It's been weird, having you gone."

"Yeah," he sighed.

She brightened. "Hey, thanks for all of the postcards! You didn't have to send me so many, though."

Yes, I did, he thought. "I only sent you one when I thought of you."

"You thought about me a lot, then," she giggled.

"You bet I did."

She suddenly looked even more excited as an idea surfaced in her quick brain. "Oh, I know! Hurry up, let's hide you before Mom comes home. Then you can jump out and really surprise her!"

Luke shook his head firmly. "No, Rory, I don't think that's –"

"That will be perfect!" Rory insisted. She tried to push him towards her room. "I'll tell Mom she's got another birthday present, and then you'll come out, and it'll be great!"

"Rory, no –"

They both heard Lorelai's footsteps on the back porch.

"Go, go, go!" Rory hissed, shoving at him again. Then she ran to intercept her mother in the kitchen.

Luke stood his ground in the living room, waiting, holding his breath, even closing his eyes for a moment or two, just to get prepared for the sight of her again. He could hear their voices in the kitchen.

"Mom! Guess what?"

"Rory –"

"I've got a big birthday surprise for you! Wait here, and I'll –"

"Rory, I'm not in the mood, OK? I just want to sit down and wait quietly for the pizza for a couple of minutes –"

And with that she brushed past Rory and entered the living room. Of course she spotted him standing there at once. Her eyes grew enormous. She clapped first one hand over her mouth, then the other. Then the tears started.

"Oh, no, no, no." Luke practically jumped over one of the suitcases in his haste to get to her. "It's OK," he murmured, reaching her and taking her in his arms. "Please, please don't cry. It's OK, isn't it? I'm here now. I'm here, and it's all OK," he attempted to soothe her.

From over the top of Lorelai's head he could see Rory. Her eyes were now big and round too, as she took in the significance of what was happening in front of her. Silently she backed away down the little hallway, stepped over the threshold to her room, and closed the door with barely a sound, leaving them to have their reunion alone.

Hastily, Lorelai tried to get back into control. "Sorry," she sniffled, forcing a smile. "I don't want you to think this is how I've been the whole time you've been gone, all weepy like this. I haven't! It was just such a shock, seeing you, that's why. And you know, it's been a sort of emotional day, since it's my birthday and all." She looked at him apologetically, her nose wrinkling adorably.

"I know it's your birthday," he breathed out, wanting so much to kiss that adorable nose. "That's why I'm here."

He felt her instantly transform in his arms, going from warm and pliable to stiff and distant. She tried to push him away. "That was a stupid waste of money then," she scolded him. "Flying all this way, then going back again."

"I'm not going back again," he informed her, wanting to clear up her misconception immediately. "I'm here to stay."

"Luke, that's not what we –"

"Lorelai, this is what it is." He put his hands on her shoulders, firmly. "You wanted me to go. I went. Now I'm back. I'm back, and I'm staying right here. I'm never leaving again. Well, not unless you and Rory go with me," he hedged, thinking of some of the sights he'd seen that he knew Rory would love.

"But –"

"No! You made the rules for the stupid trip, and I tried to play by them. But it's over, it's done, and I'm back, and now it's your turn to listen to me."

Lorelai looked down at the floor, her arms gradually crossing over her chest. Slowly she brought one hand up over the bridge of her nose, her fingers rubbing underneath her eyes. He heard her take a shaky breath.

"Come on." Carefully he took her arm. "Sit down here and let me talk to you."

He got her settled on the couch and then he perched on the coffee table in front of her so he could watch her face, and see her reactions to what he had to say.

"What do you want me to tell you first?" He smiled gently. "That you were right? I figure those are the words you want to hear, it's always so important to you to be right."

She worried her lips together. "What was I right about?"

"The trip." He nodded at her. "You were absolutely right that I needed to go on this trip."

"I…I was?"

"Yep." He nodded again. "For one thing, traveling isn't quite the hellish experience I always thought it was. I mean, I don't exactly love it, but I don't hate it, either. Two weeks away is too long, but I could see doing some shorter trips sometimes. I'm glad I saw what I saw."

"OK," Lorelai said brusquely.

"And…you were right to make me go with Rachel."

"I was?" she asked dully.

"Yes, definitely. Otherwise I would have probably always had this tiny littlest piece of nagging doubt, wondering if we could've somehow made it work."

Lorelai stared at him, holding her breath.

"We can't," he said sincerely.

She breathed out in relief, slumping back slightly against the couch.

"It's really funny, you know? Rachel and I are so alike in some ways, but then there are these huge differences, too. But one of our similarities is that neither of us are talkers. Oh, we can talk, when we have to, like for business. Out on the road, while Rachel's doing her job, she can talk up a storm to the people she's taking pictures of. And you know how I am in the diner, I talk because I have to there. But in the car, when it was just the two of us, we didn't talk much. She sat there, making notes about each frame of film she shot, and I drove. She never made me talk to her, Lorelai. You – you would have never let me get away with that."

Her smile was a little strained. "No, I wouldn't."

"So I had a lot of time to just sit there and think. I thought a lot, Lorelai. I thought for miles and miles and miles. All the way across the country, over more mountains than you can imagine, from one ocean to another, I did nothing but think."

"And?" She sounded a little impatient, which made him hide a smile.

"I figured out where my confusion was coming from."

"What confusion?"

"About you. About Rachel."

"And?" she said again, even more impatiently.

"See, here's the thing." He settled back to explain it in detail, but the thundercloud on her face convinced him to speed it up. "The whole time that I've known Rachel, I've felt a certain way about her. I think about Rachel, and boom, there's the way I feel about her." He reached for Lorelai's hand, gently started to trace over her fingers. "Then I met you. Got all tangled up in your life. Tangled up in you. And when I was with you, when I thought about you, I felt a certain way about you, too. Every time." He looked up then, caught her eyes. "But it wasn't the same feeling I had about Rachel. It was…completely different."

She pressed her lips together, trying to be brave. "Because you love Rachel."

He pointed a finger at her. "That's what I thought. But guess what? I was wrong. Completely wrong. I had it all turned around."

Her eyes sought his out, and his heart warmed up when he saw the hope beginning to glow there.

"Don't stop talking now," she warned him, making him grin.

"What else do you want me to say? That I'm fond of Rachel, she'll always be a good friend? But when it comes to love…" He cradled a hand against her cheek. "It's you I love, Lorelai."

She closed her eyes and took in a sharp breath. "Luke, you don't have to say this, just because you think –"

"Oh, I have to say it, all right. I need to say it because it's true. The realization hit me in the gut somewhere climbing up the Rocky Mountains. I had a semi trying to pass me, a camper pulling a horse trailer in front of me, falling rocks hitting the berm on the other side, and instead of being afraid I was going to die, all I was thinking about was how much I was missing you. It felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. Right then and there I understood why being away from you was so painful. It was because I'd left my heart back here with you. It had never felt like that when Rachel was away. That was when I knew without a doubt that whatever I'd felt for Rachel hadn't been love. I love you." He shrugged. "That's the way it is."

Lorelai began to wring her hands. "Luke, this…this is a huge thing to say."

"I know." He tried to take her hands again, to get her to stop rubbing them together so anxiously. "And I know I've just sprung this on you with no warning. Hell, we haven't even been on a single date yet. So I certainly don't expect you to reciprocate anything here yet –"

With a strangled cry, Lorelai sprang from the couch to his lap. His arms caught her and held her to him safely, while her mouth insistently landed on his. He tipped her sideways slightly, relishing their reconnection, reveling in her exuberance.

She pulled away, gasping for breath. "You're seriously going to tell me you don't know?"

He desperately needed another kiss. "Know what?" he asked distractedly, trying to get to her mouth again.

"Doofus." She gave him a loud, smacking kiss, then a deeper, more serious one. She put her hands on either side of his face and rested her forehead against his. "Of course I love you, Luke. What do you think this has all been about?"

He hugged her to him, wanting to absorb her, to soak up this moment somehow. "Coffee?" he theorized.

"Yes. Coffee. And pie." She kissed him again, slow and deep. "And you," she whispered. "I can live without the coffee and pie. But I don't think I can without you."

"You're sure?" He grasped her chin, wanting – needing – to see her face.

"Oh, Luke." He couldn't tell if she was laughing or crying. She leaned up against him and kissed just his bottom lip, teasing him. "I…" She then kissed his top lip, lingering there. "…love…" She put her whole mouth on his, now sliding her tongue between his lips, letting him play as much as he wanted. "…you," she sighed, when at last he paused.

For a long minute he just held her, letting the happiness wash over him. "It might have been worth going away, to have a homecoming like this."

"I'm so glad you're back," she murmured against his neck, adding a kiss to his sensitive skin there.

"Me too," he whispered in agreement, closing his eyes as she kissed him some more. He was so happy he'd shaved that particular spot on his neck.

"Listen, there's probably one more thing I should tell you."

"Mmm?"

He shifted her to a more upright position in his arms. "I mean, I told Rachel, so I should tell you, too, since it involves you."

"What?" she asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

Suddenly he was more nervous than he'd been since he walked through the door. "You know how I feel. I love you. I love Rory. I love this…this family thing we've got going here."

"Yeah…?"

"And I hope…that someday, maybe we could…" He burrowed a hand between them, let it gently curve against her stomach. "Someday," he whispered.

Lorelai pressed her hand over his. "Someday I would like that very much," she agreed, and eagerly sealed that promise with a kiss.

Luke rubbed his cheek against her soft one. "Rachel saw how I was with Rory and figured out what I wanted. When I told her I was leaving, coming back here to you, one of the things she asked me was if having a baby was so important to me. And I told her -" He broke off for a moment, not sure if he could get the words out without losing it.

Lorelai's voice was so gentle. "What?"

"That whether or not we ever had a baby wasn't the important thing. What was important was that I'd found the one person I wanted to have a family with."

She made another one of those noises that sounded like she was ready to cry, but she was smiling radiantly. Her arms circled around his neck. "Who knew you were capable of talking this pretty?"

"You're happy?" He needed confirmation.

"So happy." She sighed blissfully and snuggled against him.

The coffee table was beginning to bite into his thighs. He helped her to stand up, then he stood up too. Standing meant they could press their bodies together in a different, more satisfying way. Luke's hand slid down to her cute bottom, pressing her to him as they kissed again.

After a few minutes, Lorelai pulled away. "Do you hear that?"

"What?"

"Sort of a…a tapping."

Luke forced himself to listen instead of concentrating on her lips. "Yeah. What is that?"

Keeping their arms circled around each other, they walked towards the noise. It was coming from behind Rory's closed door.

"Rory?" Lorelai asked. "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"It's been really quiet out there for a while," Rory said, her voice muffled by the door. "Does that mean I can come out now?"

Lorelai and Luke grinned at each other.

"You want to come out?" Lorelai teased. "Why do you want to come out? Isn't your room nice? Did you run out of books to read?"

Even through the door they could hear her gusty sigh. "Are you guys…done talking?"

"Sweets, you know me. I'll never be done talking."

Luke made a questioning motion at the door and Lorelai nodded. He grasped the doorknob and swung it open.

Rory took a step back in surprise. She studied the adults standing before her skeptically. "So, is everything OK?"

Luke closed the distance between them. He took Rory's face in his hands, then deliberately placed a kiss on the top of her head. "Everything is great," he reassured her.

"Really?" she asked, still not convinced. She cast a probing look at her mother.

But it was Luke who answered her. "Really," he said. Then he let go of Rory, went to Lorelai, and kissed her soundly on the mouth.

Rory giggled. "I guess it is."

Lorelai smiled and stroked Luke's face. "It is."

"See?" Rory said. "I told you there was a big birthday surprise for you!"

"That you did." Lorelai wound her arms around Luke's neck, smiling in a way that told him there was actually a dirty comment percolating in her head that she couldn't say in front of Rory. "Luke is a great big surprise."

"I'm just sorry I don't have a birthday present for you. It took me all day to get here, what with flight delays and engine troubles…I thought I'd get here early enough to make you a special dinner, make this into a real birthday celebration."

"This is a real birthday," Lorelai insisted. "Now."

"Wait – geez, I'm an idiot." Luke took both Lorelai's and Rory's hands and pulled them into the living room. "I have lots of presents for both of you!" He pointed at the suitcases.

"What do you mean?" Lorelai asked.

"Here." He threw his duffel bag over into a corner and then laid the suitcases flat on the floor, springing the latches but leaving the cases closed. "Go to town."

Lorelai wrinkled her nose. "You want us to dig through your dirty laundry?"

"No," he said, exasperated. "Everything in here is for you. These are all of the souvenirs I brought back for you."

Rory looked shocked and Lorelai laughed. "You're kidding. You lugged two suitcases of stuff home for us?"

Luke just shrugged and shook his head. "What can I say? I kept seeing stuff that reminded me of you."

Rory squealed and dove into a suitcase. "Mom, look!" She held up a tie-dyed tee briefly, then abandoned it to see what other treasures were in sight. "Open yours!"

"You two will have to decide who gets what," Luke explained. "Sometimes the size on the t-shirts might indicate who it was actually bought for, but if I know you two, you'll want to negotiate and trade anyway."

Lorelai sat down cross-legged in front of the other bag and threw open the lid. "Holy cow, Luke, it's like you bought out every truck stop between here and the Pacific Northwest."

"Well…not quite."

"Ooh, cute!" Lorelai held up a bandana sparkled with sequins.

"Knew you'd like that," Luke said, pleased.

"Bookmarks!" Rory yelled. "And maps!" She made piles beside her.

"How did you have room for all of this?" Lorelai wondered, putting a sunflower necklace from Kansas around her neck.

"There were some…discussions about that," Luke admitted grimly.

"Oh." Lorelai looked up at him. "Someone else in the car didn't like it?"

"At first I just kept laying everything in the back seat, keeping it all in the shopping bags it came in, but then we'd have to stop fast or we'd go around a curve, and everything would slide off, and pretty soon we couldn't find anything we needed while we were driving. And I was collecting pens and notepads and 'what to see' magazines from all of the hotels to give to Rory, and pretty soon it was just a big mess."

Lorelai quirked her eyebrows, looking amused.

"And then there were the postcards," he muttered.

Rory's head popped up from the snowglobe of the Grand Canyon she was examining. "My postcards?"

"Yeah." Luke sighed. "It seemed like everywhere we stopped, there was something I wished you could see, so I'd pick up a postcard for you, and then I got the idea that you might like it if the card was postmarked from where we were, so I'd take the time to fill it out and mail it, and that meant I had to find a stamp…and a mailbox…and the time to write it out…"

"I loved the postcards!" Rory declared. "And it did make them extra-special that they came with the postmark on them. I've got them all taped up in my room."

"She does." Lorelai nodded seriously at him, but her eyes were sparkling with mischief. "So, the other person in the car…?"

"Thought that my obsession was ridiculous."

"Ah." She delicately fingered a box holding a pair of enameled daisy earrings. "How far into the trip was this?"

Luke rolled his eyes. "The first day."

"The first day?!" Lorelai laughed.

"Yeah." Luke gave her a lopsided smile, knowing she could read it all between the lines. "I think we both knew where the trip was heading by the time we were only a couple of hundred miles from Stars Hollow."

"Sorry," Lorelai winced.

"No, don't be. It answered the questions that needed answering."

"What questions?" Rory piped up.

"Why I hadn't ever sent Rachel a postcard in 18 months. Or a letter. Or called her, even."

Rory looked horrified. "You didn't?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because…I didn't miss her, Rory. But you guys…" Luke pointed to the stuffed suitcases. "I missed you guys every minute I was gone."

Rory jumped up and gave him a quick hug. "We missed you, too." She ran back to her treasures. "Didn't we, Mom?"

Lorelai reached up and grabbed his hand, leaning her head back against his legs. "We sure did," she said softly.

At that moment there was a knock at the front door. "Pizza!" both girls yelled.

"Let me." Luke pushed down on Lorelai's shoulders, telling her to stay seated. "It's been so long since I've fed you dinner. At least bringing in the pizza will make me feel like I'm feeding you something."

He pulled open the door, expecting to see Big Pete. But although the gentleman standing there was certainly tall, he was not Big Pete. He was the man Luke had once met in a bookstore. And he could only assume that the woman standing beside him with the slightly sour look on her face was Lorelai's mother.

"Mr. – Mr. Gilmore," he stammered.

"Well, hello again, Luke. We were under the impression that you weren't in town."

"I – I just got back."

"How nice." Richard turned to his wife. "Emily, this is the famous Luke Danes you've heard so much about."

Just then Rory's shriek pierced the air. "Beanie Babies!"

"Oh my God!" Emily jumped from the shrillness and then looked annoyed. "Is she being attacked?"

Rory appeared, jumping up and down, with various tiny stuffed animals clutched tightly in her hands. "You got me Beanie Babies!" she yelled joyfully.

"Whenever I could find some," Luke mumbled.

"Thank you –" Rory started to say, but then she too comprehended that it wasn't pizza at the door. "Grandpa! Grandma!" She gave them each a swift hug, which seemed to disarm them both. "Come on in, see what Luke brought us!" She led the way.

"Mom? Dad?" Lorelai scrambled up, hastily taking off a hat shaped like a moose. "What are you doing here?"

"It's your birthday, Lorelai," Richard said patiently.

"I know it's my birthday, but we don't usually…" Lorelai threw her arms open, indicating her house. "Do this!"

"We're not allowed to visit you, Lorelai? Is that it? We've crossed some sort of border here? Did we need a special visa to come visit you?" Emily tossed off the sneering comments quickly, and instantly Luke saw where Lorelai's sharp mouth came from.

"No, Mom…I didn't mean…" Lorelai took a deep breath and smoothed back the hair that had been dislodged by the moose. "I'm just surprised to see you, that's all."

Richard's voice was calm. "We noticed on Easter that you were…not quite yourself. We thought you might appreciate a visit on your birthday, if you were going to otherwise be alone."

"But obviously you're not alone," Emily observed somewhat snidely, looking pointedly at Luke.

"Luke just got back," Rory informed them. "He surprised us by coming home early, and bringing us all of this stuff!"

"It's a night full of surprises all right," Lorelai said tightly, obviously feeling stressed.

Richard held up a large white sack. "We brought you some appetizers from Wu's. Do you remember it, Lorelai? You loved that place when you were a girl."

The strained look faded from Lorelai's face. She went over and took the sack from her father, looking inside and breathing in the aroma. "That was…really very thoughtful of you." She shook her head, as if she couldn't quite believe it. "Really."

Emily held up a bottle of wine she'd had tucked under one arm. "We also brought this."

"Equally thoughtful," Lorelai said, finally breaking into a smile. "Here, come in and get comfortable. Avoid the tourist trap spilled all over the floor."

Someone knocked on the back door.

"Backdoor pizza delivery?" Luke asked, confused.

"Sure, why not? Maybe that's a surprise, too," Lorelai suggested. "Will you check and see?"

But it wasn't pizza at the back door, either. It was Babette and Morey, Lorelai's neighbors.

"Luke! Didn't expect to see you here!"

"Ooof!" That was Luke's response to Babette's unexpected and surprisingly strong hug.

"We thought you was going to be gone longer, so we thought we'd come on over and keep 'em company tonight. Bet seeing you made the girls happy, didn't it?" Babette made her way through the kitchen, not waiting for him to reply.

Morey nodded solemnly and followed his wife in, carrying a plate of sandwiches.

When Luke entered the living room, Lorelai was making introductions and Babette's delighted cackle was sounding every few seconds.

Soon there was another knock at the door. This time Lorelai held up her hand to him. "I'll get it, you sit and chat," she instructed him, ignoring his dirty look.

She returned with Mia and Sookie and trays and trays of food.

"Luke!" Both Sookie and Mia cried when they spotted him.

He crossed the room to give Mia a hug.

"Lucas, it's so good to see you!" she told him, beaming.

"Mia, you have no idea," he murmured, giving her another hug.

"Oh, I think I do," she winked back.

More introductions were made. Mia and Emily Gilmore sized each other up and then apparently decided tonight was not the night to get into a sparring match and were instead excruciatingly polite to one other. Food was displayed and rapidly eaten. The pizza finally showed up, as did Miss Patty and Kirk.

"Pete said you were having a party," Kirk explained.

"And obviously you just forgot to invite us!" Miss Patty joked, throwing her arms around Lorelai. "Isn't that right, birthday girl?"

"It's not a party without you, Patty," Lorelai agreed.

"It's not a party without some handsome men, either," Patty purred, looking from Luke to Lorelai's father. "Yum, yum!"

"Patty, behave," Lorelai warned. "They're both taken."

"Are they now?" Patty waggled her eyebrows. "There's a bit of news, you sly one!" She poked Lorelai in the ribs and winked at Luke.

Eventually Morey found Lorelai's music stash and began spinning tunes. Some of the lights got turned off and the conversations quieted.

Sometime later, Luke managed to find Lorelai alone in the hallway. He slipped his arms around her from behind.

"Mmm," she sighed, leaning back against him for a moment, before turning around in his arms. "Hey, I seem to recall that you can dance, right?"

"I can sway in time to the music, if it means I get to hold you in my arms like this for a while," he said, demonstrating.

"Wow, you are really good with the comebacks tonight, Duke."

He nuzzled her hair. "I think…I'm just good with you."

She laughed appreciatively. "Again, wow."

He held her a little tighter. "I missed you right away, too."

She seemed more concerned than puzzled. "Why do you say that?"

"Because of your note, that morning I left. That's what you scratched out. 'I miss you already.'"

"How do you know that?"

"Because I had to know. It drove me crazy. It became my quest, every long night in my hotel room, to try and figure out what you'd written there."

She shook her head. "How did you find out?"

"Believe me, I tried everything, holding the paper this way, that way. Shining lights on it. Anything. Finally I thought about hidden messages, and I rubbed a pencil along the back of it, then held it up to a mirror." He thought about telling her what it had done to his heart, seeing her words, but decided against it. "Why did you scratch that out?"

"Because…I didn't want you to stay here out of guilt. If you came back to me, I wanted it be because of something real, not because you thought I wasn't strong enough or because you owed it to me or anything like that. I didn't want to give you any excuses, any reason to ditch the trip for me. Even if it was just me saying something as innocent as 'I'll miss you.'"

"I know it was really tough on you, to send me away like that. Getting away from here, though – you were right. It was exactly what I needed. It gave me a whole different perspective. It made me feel so much better about my time with Rachel."

Lorelai stopped moving with him to the music for a moment. "What do you mean?"

"I think I always more or less believed that Rachel left me because I just wasn't good enough for her. Didn't measure up to what she wanted. And in turn, that made me worry that I wasn't good enough for anybody, especially not somebody as amazing as you."

"Although I do agree that I am amazing, the rest of that is just bullshit, Luke."

Smiling, he hugged her, then tried to get her to dance with him again. "What I found out – what I saw, was that Rachel is doing the things she loves most in the world. She loves traveling. She loves photography. Out there, on the road, she's in her element. And being there with her, observing her, I realized that her leaving didn't have anything to do with me. I mean, I could have been the greatest guy in the world, and she still would have left, because it was about what she needed to do with her life. It was no reflection on me at all."

Lorelai began swaying with him again. "You are the greatest guy in the world. And Rachel's an idiot." She thought for a moment. "But I'm very glad she's an idiot, because that means I get you."

"I'm glad you're happy with me, but Rachel's not an idiot. She and I just weren't supposed to be together. And you making me go away with her like that was a stroke of genius. You are brilliant."

"Yes, I am. But, you should know, that whole altruistic thing was a one-time deal. From now on, I'm as selfish as that Veruca chick in Willie Wonka. There's no more running off with old girlfriends for you. You even look at another woman, and I'll take you out."

"Why would I ever look at another woman, when I've got you in my arms?"

"Unbelievable. Danes hits another one out of the park."

"A sports reference? From you? I'm impressed, too. Guess I'm rubbing off on you."

"Speaking of rubbing…" Lorelai worked herself up closer against him and tilted her face for a kiss.

"Lorelai, we're leaving now."

"Mom!" Lorelai propelled herself away from Luke.

"If you could refrain from molesting your man-friend for a minute, you might walk your guests to the door. You might also remember that it's a school night and that your daughter needs to get to bed." Emily turned on her heel and headed back into the living room.

"I've had nightmares just like this," Lorelai muttered. But she followed her mother, and Luke followed Lorelai, not wanting her to face parental disapproval on her own.

Richard was standing by the front door, waiting for his wife. He smiled at his daughter. "Lorelai, we were thinking that maybe some evening you could join us for dinner at Wu's, for old time's sake. You'd certainly be welcome to join us too, Luke."

Lorelai glanced at him, and Luke nodded consent. "Yeah, sure," she said, a little flippantly, waving a hand dismissively. But then she took a breath and seemed to consider it thoughtfully. "Yes, I'd like that. And I think Rory would love it. Mom, why don't you let me know what night would work out the best for you, and we'll arrange our schedules to fit. Just…give us a couple weeks' notice, OK? Only because it might take us a while to get everything to coincide, not because we don't want to, or anything like that…" She faded off. "OK, I'm stopping the talking thing now."

"Luke, it was nice meeting you." Emily held out her hand to him.

"You, too, Mrs. Gilmore."

"Thank you for letting us share your birthday, Lorelai," Richard said warmly. "And your first night back, Luke."

"Well, I wouldn't have a birthday if it wasn't for the two of you creating, uh, that is, making – uh, so…" Lorelai squeezed her eyes shut, forced herself to stop talking again. "Anyway, thanks for coming. It was…a nice surprise."

"And with a straight face she said that," Emily observed, not completely sardonically.

The Gilmores leaving broke up the impromptu party. Soon everyone was gone and Rory headed to bed.

"Is she reading?" Luke asked, looking up from stuffing paper plates and napkins into a trash bag, when Lorelai came back into the living room after checking on Rory.

"Nope, she's conked out already. She's sound asleep, the brochure you brought back from the Tom Sawyer house in Hannibal, Missouri tucked under her cheek." Lorelai began collecting glasses and taking them into the kitchen.

They worked as a companionable team for maybe fifteen minutes, picking up trash, putting away leftover food, and washing dishes, all while talking quietly, always remembering that Rory was asleep not too far away.

Soon the clean-up operation was almost complete, and Luke noticed that Lorelai had stopped talking.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately.

She looked startled. They'd moved into the living room, and she started to energetically fluff the pillows on the couch. "Nothing's wrong."

He scoffed. "You've gone quiet. Of course something's wrong."

"No. Well, not really. It's just…" She sat down on the couch, holding one of the pillows over her middle. "We're…here."

Luke looked around the room. "Can't argue with that."

"I mean…" She sighed deeply and then laughed at herself a little bit. "I never let myself think about this part. I never allowed myself to picture what it would be like, once we figured it all out and got to this point. If that ever happened. I didn't want to let myself get too invested in that misty-eyed happy ending part, in case it never happened."

"I think it's OK to speculate now," Luke ventured, leaning his hip against the end of the couch, watching her. "Since I'm like 100% sure we're there."

"Right. Yeah. I know." She laughed nervously again. "I just don't know what's supposed to happen now." She looked directly at him. "Like right now. The now where Rory's asleep and we're alone."

Luke slid onto the couch next to her. "Nothing has to happen now, Lorelai."

The babbling started right on cue. "I mean, of course I've thought about having you upstairs in my room. That I've thought about! Thought about that a lot actually. On any given day since the first time I met you, I've probably thought about a million different ways that could all happen –"

"The list. Right," Luke broke in.

She gulped. "It's just this – this transition stuff – this is what I haven't thought about."

"Well, let me make it easy on you." Luke smoothed his hand over her hair. "I'm not leaving tonight."

"But Luke, Rory's here and –"

"And nothing like that has to happen, Lorelai. I don't care if I sleep on the couch. All I know is I'm not leaving here tonight. When I thought about coming home, I didn't picture my place. I thought about being here, with my girls. This is home to me now. This is where I want to be."

"Luke." Lorelai shook her head worriedly. "Doesn't this seem fast? Too fast?"

He smiled and stroked her cheek. "Do you want to hear about when I first felt like I belonged here?"

"Sure."

"Do you remember the Quaker day, when Patty's punch knocked you out?"

Lorelai groaned. "I remember some of that day."

"I took Rory to Hartford, to the bookstore. When we got back here, she tucked up against you and you started reading her a story. I made the mistake of looking back, and seeing the two of you like that –" The remembered emotion choked off his voice.

"We got to you, did we?" Lorelai gently teased, turning to face him. She tenderly touched his cheek.

"And how. It was all I could do to leave that night, I wanted to stay here with you so much, to be a part of this house, this family. And every night from then on, it's been a struggle. I never wanted to leave and go back to my place." He took her hand from his face and squeezed it in his. "Please don't ask me to do that tonight."

Lorelai's eyes darted back and forth, searching his. "No. I won't make you leave." She leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss. "You do belong here."

One light kiss was not enough. Luke pulled her closer to him and kissed her again and again, at least once for every day he'd been gone.

Finally Lorelai pulled away from his lips, panting, and put her mouth close to his ear. "So, how quiet can you be?"

Lorelai couldn't see it from her position, but Luke grinned. "You know I'm a quiet guy, Lorelai. I prefer to just let my actions speak." He slid the hand that had been on her neck down, cupping her breast, letting his thumb fan out and find something else.

Lorelai groaned sharply and loudly, shivering against him.

Luke chuckled quietly, continuing to tease her. "You, on the other hand, and your noise level…that might be a problem."

"No, no, I'll be good," she gasped. "I can be quiet too. And Luke…" She pulled away then, but placed both of her hands on his face, looking at him straight on. "This is the way it's always going to be. Rory's always going to be here, in the house. There's never going to be enough alone time for us. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

"Any time with you is good, Lorelai. And I know this is Rory's house. I respect that. I don't ever want her to feel uncomfortable because I'm here."

"We'll make this work, won't we?"

"We will."

She nestled down against him for a minute. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he whispered back.

"Then, come on." She jumped up and pulled him up too.

"You're sure?"

She chuckled quietly, taking his hands and beginning to lead him towards the stairs. "I am so sure!"

Halfway up the stairs she made them pause, causing his increasing impatience to multiply. "Do you have anything with you?"

"Have what with me?"

"You know. Protection."

"No!" he hissed, still remembering to whisper.

"Really?" She looked at him doubtfully. "You spent two weeks gallivanting around the country with your ex, and now you don't have anything left to use?"

Impatience turned to irritation. "I told you that was not happening! There was no need for me to have anything!"

"Huh." Lorelai continued to hold him at bay, one hand on his chest, while she considered what he'd said.

"You don't have anything either?"

"Why would I have anything? When have I needed anything in the past decade?" She shrugged, then looked inspired. "Hey, wait! There might be something from a bachelorette party I went to once." She turned around and started up the stairs again.

"Wait." Now Luke put on the brakes. "How old are these things? How long ago was this party?"

Lorelai looked at him innocently. "What's the big deal? You want a baby anyway, right?"

"Maybe not this fast. Maybe I'd like us to find a little bit of alone time before we add yet another person into the mix here!"

Lorelai grinned and leaned against him, encouraging him to put his arms around her. "You know, it's possible I stocked up back when I thought you and I were going on our first date."

"Then why would you…?" He shook his head at her.

"Same reason I used to call you Duke." She gave him a quick kiss. "I like to see you get all worked up and flustered. Ready-to-Rant Luke is Sexy Luke."

"You. Go," he ordered, pointing up the stairs. "Now!"

Giggling quietly, she went, tugging his hand behind her.

Outside of her door, Luke held back, the significance of what they were doing suddenly overwhelming him, but Lorelai quickly pulled him inside. She closed the door, then took time to turn the lock and jiggle it, confirming it was secure.

They shared a look. A moment. An affirmation that they both wanted the same thing.

And then they were in each other's arms.

"Luke," Lorelai whispered against his ear.

"What?" he asked, ready to melt into her.

She kissed him and held him tight, and then she murmured the sweetest thing he'd ever heard.

"Welcome home."

---

One month left to go!