Chapter 35

Olivia sat back down again as she read Fitz's text message. After a few moments, she lifted her eyes away from the screen and peered at Kate who was now addressing her.

"Is it true? Kate leaned forward, her long curly hair teased high at the back and cascaded about her shoulders , giving Olivia a dubious look. "Are you really gonna say that Aaron is yours?" She smiled wide as though she had something to be happy about. "At first, I thought it was kind of neat to see you playing 'good samaritan' to Claire's baby. But you can't really…" then her eyes brightened as though she was just considering something she had not thought of before. " but so you know, You're not the only good samaritan around here, y'know. I'm planning on finding Sawyer's child and giving the mother part of my share of the settlement money."

"Say what?" Hurley asked. "Sawyer had a kid somewhere?

"Yeah. Sawyer's girlfriend has a two year old daughter and once I find her I …" Kate stated again proudly except that this time she was interrupted by Olivia.

"Well, that's just wonderful. Maybe we can get together and compare notes, then or maybe you can give me a few extra pointers" Olivia added this last statement with a sneer, thinking that Kate just liked to toot her own whistle a little too much. Life was not about who can outdo who.

Kate was obviously missing the point. Olivia loved Aaron with all her heart and did not want him so she could showcase him as a measure of her good deeds.

"Anyhow, that's just ridiculous, " Olivia scoffed. "I can't say he's mine. Whatever gave you that idea?" She gave Sun another pointed look. The latter just avoided her gaze.

Sayid stood up abruptly. "Well, in that case, since there doesn't seem to be anything else to discuss, I need to go. I would love to stay and chat. But I've got things to do this afternoon. " He walked over to where Olivia was sitting. "This is my cell phone number. Call me if you need something. "

Olivia stared back intrigued by this gesture that had she not known better could almost be considered friendly. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she took the folded piece of paper from his hand. His cold eyes bore into hers but she was not going to give him the satisfaction of looking away.

After he left, she read the note.

Text me. Need to talk to you, it's important.

Without giving it a second thought, she send a blank text to the number Sayid gave her with just a question mark. The number was now saved in her list of recent contacts.

Xxx

Two and a half hours later.

Olivia sat opposite her friend Abby in a chair in her office in Old Town San Diego.

There had been no traffic driving south from Santa Monica, although she fully expected her luck to change driving back North to Los Angeles later in the day.

Olivia had wanted to see Abby in person. Somehow, even when they disagreed, Olivia always found it quite helpful to run her thoughts and ideas by her.

Abby deadpanned. " What kind of friend am I? The kind that tells you the truth even if it hurts…"

"What are you gonna say, that I'm not a mother? That the real mother is only the one that has given birth to a child, is that what you're gonna say, Abby?"

Abby's story was that she had been adopted at a young age. She'd always known about her adoption and dreamed about finding her birth parents. Ten years ago her dream came true: she'd met her parents and had remained in close relationship with them. Olivia had always disagreed with Abby's decision as she thought it had caused her adoptive parents undue pain and sorrow.

"Is that why it's so easy for you to judge me? Olivia continued in an agitated frame of mind. "By the same token, you're not a mother either. We'll have this conversation again when you give birth to your own baby. Then, you will be qualified to judge me, Ok? But we'll have to wait until then and not a day sooner."

"Let's leave my personal feelings out of this." Abby's eyebrows raised in suspicion. " Don't tell me you're still thinking of saying the baby is yours? On national TV? although nothing is just national TV anymore...in this day and age anything newsworthy is potentially an international affair."

Olivia opened her mouth to speak, yet no sound escaped her lips. For the first time ever in the history of her lifelong friendship with Abby, she was she was truly speechless in the midst of one of their world-famous heated arguments.

Yep, this was a bad sign. Olivia Pope had lost her touch. Maybe it was motherhood. Had motherhood turned her brain to mush?

One thing was for sure, nothing like motherhood to make you re-examine your values, beliefs and your whole outlook on life.

"I think this conversation is over, " Olivia said simply because she couldn't think of anything better to say.

The two women stared down at each other for the longest time.

Abby must have taken her statement as an admission of guilt. She gazed at her in that Abby way of hers. "What on earth is wrong with you?

To which Olivia replied rather defensively, "What the heck's wrong with you?" and stood up as if ready to leave.

Except that the sudden movement made the world spin as fast as a merry-go-round. She sat back down, visibly shaken and sick to her stomach.

Alarmed, Abby rushed to bring her the nearest trash can.

"No, no, I'll be okay," Olivia hugged herself, warding off the approaching trash can with one hand.. This couldn't be, she couldn't have suddenly developed a case of morning sickness, could she?

"When was the last time you ate? It looked like you were about to faint."

Olivia glanced over at the wall clock behind Abby's desk. It couldn't be after 2:30 pm, already. Surely, that clock must be wrong.

She heard an internal alarm bell as clear as day.

Press conference. Los Angeles. 5:00 pm.

"Hmm...I had breakfast."

"I'm gonna order us some lunch. You still like fish tacos from the Brigantine?" Abby asked and without waiting for a response she pressed the button on the intercom and summoned her secretary. The woman walked in exactly three seconds later pen and paper in hand.

Abby asked her secretary to drive down to the Brigantine and get the tacos. "Oh, and schedule my 3:00 meeting for tomorrow at 9:00 am." Then, she turned to Olivia with concern, "come and lay down in my quiet room for a while," and guided her into a smaller office with a comfortable sofa. "This is where I nap sometimes," she admitted.

Olivia readily slid off her heels and made herself comfortable on the sofa.

Abby got Olivia some water and then excused herself back to her desk. She appeared to be suddenly busy with a phone call.

Olivia took the opportunity to close her eyes and try to relax. In this quiet state of mind, she noticed that her breasts felt as hard as rocks. Aaron. Last time she'd nursed him had been close to five hours ago, she thought. Even though for the last week or so she had been trying to wean him off completely, the process had proved to be slow and highly uncomfortable.

She sat up some, reached for her purse and pulled out her cell phone. She had to call Maria and let her know she would not be returning home before the conference.

Who was she kidding? There was actually a very good chance that she would not be able to make it to this conference at all.

She was actually considering using her portable breast pump to relieve some of the pressure, when Abby called from the doorway.

"And you say you need to be in Los Angeles by 5:00 pm? Abby shook her head. Traffic up north is insane this time of day. We better get going if you're gonna make it at all."

"We?"

"You're in no condition to drive so I'm taking you," Abby informed her matter of factly. "It's 90 miles from here to L.A, real drive time add an hour or so if there is no heavy traffic, that is."

"What about the tacos?"

"We'll eat first, of course. Jane should be back in 10 minutes," Abby said rather distractedly and rushed back to her desk to take some notes or something.

Olivia then checked her Blackberry which she had in vibrate mode still. There were six missed calls, all from Fitz, and ten text messages. In all of them, he asked where she was and that he was coming home to pick her up so they could go to the press conference together.

Only she wasn't home.

"I'm in San Diego, came to visit Abby," she texted back.

About 30 seconds later, she got a reply from him. "What? U have to leave now ! Traffic, remember?"

This time she used the voice feature, "Don't worry."

The phone rang as she finished typing the last word. It was Fitz. "Yes?"

"What do you mean don't worry? I've been calling you like crazy!" He sounded irritated. "You never answered me, what happened at the meeting?"

"Nothing. I didn't tell them anything."

"Good," she heard him exhale. "Listen, I talked to my father. We're gonna do everything we can to get him back."

Olivia felt her heart thunder in her chest. Oh, Lord, she didn't even want to think about that.

"We might have to wait a while but we will get him back, " he continued on to relate the conversation he'd had with his father but Olivia tuned it all out. All she heard was the first part.

They were going to lose Aaron. And it seemed fine to him, she thought bitterly. No one really understood her pain. In her mind, Aaron was every bit her child, there was no difference between him and the child she carried in her womb.

"I gotta go. I'm having lunch with Abby. She's gonna drive me to L.A"

"Good," his voice once again sounded relieved. "Liv, please don't forget. No matter what happens, I love you."

"I love you too," she answered back at once, her mind somewhat detached from the present moment. She ended the call and put her phone away.

"Hey, here you go, " Abby brought her a Styrofoam container with two fish tacos. "Ranch dressing's on the side."

Olivia sat up and smiled. "hmm... God, how I missed this, " she took the container and placed it on her lap. She was pleasantly surprised. That awful nauseous feeling vanished as soon as she smelled the food. Her mouth watered at the sight of battered fish in a coleslaw mix on a corn tortilla.

Abby sat across from her in a reclining chair with her lunch. She'd ordered exactly the same. "I'm glad you're feeling better," she said in between bites of her fish taco. "You really need to try to take things easy, you know. You got your unborn baby to think about."

Olivia frowned. She wasn't in the mood for unsolicited advice but she had the feeling she was going to receive it anyway whether she liked it or not.

"I was reading that high levels of stress creates cortisol which is a steroid hormone cortisol crosses the placental wall high levels of cortisol in babies are associated with depression later in life."

"Whoa! Abby…"

"Not to mention a host of medical conditiones that we suspect but we really don't know for sure just yet. Although depression in itself is pretty scary, don't you think? it's not as simple as snapping out of it, like they used to say. They've found that it's really an illness and that…"

"Abby! please stop freaking me out," Olivia spoke in a deflated tone, feeling her enjoyment of her meal greatly diminished.

Right then, Olivia's phone vibrated with an incoming text. She retrieved it from her purse after having the last bite of her fish taco.

She looked at the screen for a long time. Normally, she did not receive texts from unfamiliar numbers and she didn't recognize the number from earlier in the day.

"Abby, do you mind? This will only take a second.

Abby shrugged and continued enjoying her meal.

"Who is this?"

"It's me. Sayid. I need to meet with you."

"With me? Why? When?"

"Tonight after the conference. Just you and me."

Olivia scowled at the thought of meeting with Sayid. The man had been unpleasant to that she made a point right then and there to cross his name off her mental Christmas list.

Seriously, just the thought of his unfriendly eyes scrutinizing her made her shudder. Back on the island, she knew he'd been watching her whenever he thought she wasn't looking.

Maybe he liked her, she mused. Maybe it was like when she was in grade school, there had always been a boy or two in the neighborhood who went out of his way to make her pay attention by acting rude and obnoxious when in reality they were infatuated with her. Hmm...

Maybe it was the same with Sayid.

She laughed and laughed. The thought of Sayid having a thing for her was so ridiculous. She almost peed her pants.

xxx

Shortly afterwards, feeling energized by her meal, Olivia announced that she was hitting the road. There was no need for Abby to drive her to L.A. She was feeling much better now.

Abby hesitated. "I still think…"

"I'll be okay, really. I keep a bag of dry fruit in the car just in case. "

She stood and headed for the door and hoisted her new Prada purse onto her shoulder. Once outside, she pushed her sunglasses on to her nose walked across the parking lot to Fitz's silver BMW. She thought about driving over to her condo in Mission Valley only 20 minutes away and retrieving her own car which she had left parked there the morning she'd left for Australia.

Except she didn't have time, did she? And then what would she do with Fitz's car? She couldn't believe she had not thought about this until now.

But then again, she hadn't had a moment to herself since she got back from the island.

She hit the road on fire flying up interstate 5 heading north via Los Angeles, passing slow pokes on the left, feeling full of nervous energy.

For the first time in her life she really didn't know what to do. Well, okay maybe except for that time when she was fifteen, but that was a whole different story.

She blinked a couple of tears away and kept her foot on the gas zipping down the fast lane. She flashed her high beams at a white BMW to move out of her way but all the cars were breaking the red tail lights on at a curve in the road. She could only hope that the bottleneck would break up or she could pass on the right.

Up ahead there was a sign for San Clemente.

Her phone vibrated continuously but she decided to ignore it, driving past a billboard sign on the side of the road:

Text and drive, $ 269 fine.

Dammit. It was 4:40 pm.

L.A was still 30 miles away, she would never make it in time.

The white BMW slowed down to a crawl. She switched over three lanes to the slow lane double checking.

Then, she took the off ramp the nearest exit, looped back around over a bridge and merged onto the on- ramp heading south towards San Diego.