"Check out this dank ass meme, bae." Shadow show Rouge the screen of his sleek new android: there was a disgustingly low image resolution image of Spongebob Squarepants decorated with ineligible Ebonics and emoticons that managed to smile and cry at the same time.
"Nice one, bae," she lied, rolling her eyes. Not the first meme she had seen that day, nor would it be the last.
E-123 Omega, or simply "Meg" as she liked to be called ever since the operation to make him look more like the robot girls he had seen in all of his favorite Japanese Anime, suddenly pushed ahead of the two.
Shadow crossed his arms indignantly. "Are we gonna have to bust the door down?"
"Wait! The security measures have been activated." She put forward one mechanical arm, and the fingers separated into individual gun barrels. From her shoulders there emerged dual air cannons, laser-firing retinas in her eyes, a pair of detachable grenades loaded into her upper chest cavity, – causing her cup size to go up a grade or two – her long, flowing black hair sharpened into sword blades at the tips and the two slices of bread that had been toasting in her butt appliance for the past few minutes popped out, which Shadow snatched and proceeded to eat without so much as glancing up from the series of oddly placed political articles and occasional cat picture featured on the front page of the modern I Can Haz Cheeseburger.
"I will not allow any harm to come to my friends!" Meg declared bravely.
The camera aimed its laser sight and Meg inadvertently blocked the tiny beam it fired with her arm, causing it to deflect off into the grass to no effect. After this, the camera exploded due to overheating.
"Sorry to burst your bubble, but it's just another one of Tails's shitty half-assed fucking lame inventions," Shadow said and kicked open the door, entering to find the fox attempting to squeeze into a closet. "Hey there, buddy! It's been a while."
Tails whipped a plasma gun out of the closet and with a quivering grip pointed it at Shadow.
"Get the fuck out of here, Shadow!" Tails said. For a second his eyes glazed over the sex-changed Omega and her admittedly impressive concealed grenade tits in vague recognition, and Shadow capitalized on it by lunging forward and seizing the firearm with incredible speed.
Shadow turned the gun on Tails; internally fighting back repressed memories of his horrible spin-off game as his finger lightly tasted the trigger. Rouge was filing her nails, and Meg was running an analysis on the inside of the RV: confirmed 10% dirty laundry, 2% Hot Pockets, 3% Cup Ramen, 10% advanced weapons technology, 68% anime, manga, or Big Bang Theory merchandise, and trace amounts of shame and dry semen.
"I'll get straight to the point. The missus and I are getting a little short on funds and saw that you and the other fags were out sniffing for chaos emeralds like the good old days, so we decided to swing by and collect our cut of the prize."
"Honest to God it's not like that," Tails said, sweat visibly cascading over the rolls of his double neck. "Amy went missing, and some weird guy called Sonic on her phone, so I traced the signal to somewhere in that cave but there's no telling what's down there, or even if Amy's still – "