Barbara Havers changed her clothes four times before she settled on black jeans and a green jumper. It was only a party but she was disproportionately nervous. Now that it had come around she was not sure that she really could be bothered but she had spent three days convincing her boss that he had to go to support Winston on his thirtieth birthday, so she had no choice.

Beer in hand she had watched the door anxiously until the familiar mop of brown hair had walked through the door. She had suspected he would have a gorgeous woman on his arm but she was relieved to see him alone. She watched him scan the room. His face lit up with a sly grin when he spotted her and he wove his way through the throng of gyrating bodies. "Evening Sergeant."

"Hiya Sir. Fancy a beer?"

"Do they have anything stronger?"

"One beer coming up," she gently rebuked him.

The music thumped and it made conversation impossible. She and Tommy had hung around the edges most of the evening sipping on their drinks and smiling ruefully at each other. "Let's get out of here and go for a drink somewhere quieter," he had suggested.

She glanced at her watch. They had been there less than an hour. "No wait another ten minutes then if they haven't started to cut the cake we can go. Loosen up a bit Sir. Come on dance with me."

"I don't dance to...this!" He had looked so puritanical that she had grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor. The tune was upbeat and infectious and she soon had him smiling at her bad dancing. Just then Winston changed the music to something far softer and romantic. All around her couples began to dance so close it could easily have been mistaken for vertical sex. Momentary jealousy gave way to fear as Tommy stepped closer. She had dreamt so many times of being in his arms again but now he was smiling at her with that soft doe-eyed grin that always threatened to test her sanity. He leant closer. She expected him to suggest leaving but instead he gently kissed her cheek. She could feel herself reddening. Her face was on fire and his hands were burning her hips. When he softly brushed her lips with his all her restraint disappeared. This was something she had fantasised about for years and now Tommy was openly kissing her in front of everyone.

"We have to leave now," he had breathed into her ear. She understood his reaction. It would be hard to explain later. They made their excuses and walked outside into the cold air. She could see his car parked up ahead and she walked with him in silence. She had caught the bus so was happy he was going to drive her home. She had no doubt he was preparing his apology and explanation that it had been a mistake. Her lips still tingled where his had been and her hands were trembling.

They sat in the car staring out through the windscreen. She felt him turn towards her. Here it comes! Tommy did not speak but reached out and stroked her cheek. She leant towards him slightly and he embraced her. It was awkward in the car but she did not care. All her focus was on the wonderful wildness of his kiss. Tommy had pulled away and started the engine. He drove carefully but fast to his house. It was only when he parked that she realised that her hand was rubbing his thigh.

Years of yearning exploded into another fiery kiss at his door. They shrugged off their coats and kicked off their shoes. Tommy took her hand and ran up the stairs to his room. She tore three buttons from his shirt in her eagerness to remove it. He had looked shocked but then kissed her harder as he guided her onto the bed and pushed up her jumper. Clothes flew across the room. She had laughed the next day when she saw her bra hanging limply from his ceiling fan. "Do we need to...?"

She did a quick calculation. "No, we should be safe."

"Good, it's like showering in a raincoat and I've wanted this so long that I want to experience you."

His words were oddly arousing and their night began with desperate, unrepentant physicality. It never ceased to amaze Barbara that at the point of orgasm everyone suddenly believes in a deity. She had repeatedly cried his name and told him she loved him. She had meant every word but knew in the morning she would regret it. Tommy had also told her he loved her and for the rest of the night he had spoiled her with his caresses and thrilled her with his kisses.

The next morning had not been awkward because they had never really slept. He had tried to convince her to go with him to Spain for his brother's wedding but she had refused. She knew how easily he mistook one good night for something lasting but it rarely had lasted a week before he tired of his women. She thought the three week break would make it easier to forget what had happened. So she had given him a final kiss and watched him drive away as tears fell copiously onto her jumper.

They had spoken every day but it had mainly been while she was at work and so she had not returned his endearments and promises of love. It had been one glorious, wonderful night but that was all it would ever be.

When she woke one morning feeling nauseous and sweaty she had assumed she had a touch of food poisoning from the canteen food but when it continued for three days she began to worry. She checked her calendar. She was as regular as clockwork every fourth Tuesday but it was now Friday and although she had some signs something was missing.

She had Winston stop at the pharmacy, complaining of indigestion. She discreetly purchased a test kit and asked the chemist about the likelihood of pregnancy. She nearly fainted when he explained that contrary to her calculations they had had unprotected sex when she was most likely to conceive. Pale as a sheet, Winston had not taken much convincing to drive her home.

Barbara had stared at the blue lines on the stick. After visiting the pharmacy she knew what it would be but now reality set in. She was pregnant with Tommy's child! She had ignored his call that day as she had yesterday then cried herself to sleep.

The next day, as if her body was taunting her, she was ill. With her head over the toilet she had waited for an hour before thinking it was safe to lie down. She phoned in sick and tried to sleep. Tommy was due back that afternoon and she could not face him. After lunch she had a shower and freshened up. Physically she felt better and even managed to eat.

Tommy had knocked impatiently on her door. She could not avoid him so opened the door. "Winston said you were unwell."

"Tummy upset," she replied. It was not a lie, just an omission of all the facts.

"That's a shame. I was hoping you were pregnant."

Barbara stared at him then began to cry. "I never thought...it wasn't deliberate. What the hell do I do?"

Tommy had embraced her gently but when he spun her around excitedly and told her they should get married she had panicked. She assured him that had not been her aim but she knew he would always suspect she had trapped him. He had kissed her so lovingly that she had begun to believe it would work. They had melted into each other.

As she lay in his arms the next morning Barbara thought about their situation. There was no way that Tommy would have proposed without her slip up. She could not tie him to a life living with her. He needed someone of his own class; a woman who could make him truly happy. She nestled into his shoulder making the most of their last hours together.

He had protested that he loved her and that he had intended to propose anyway but Barbara had kept her resolve. In the end he had stormed off and she had collapsed on her bed sobbing. They barely spoke for the next week but then one night he appeared at her door with roses and a ring. On bended knee he had proposed again. She explained her reasons and they argued until again he stomped off in frustration.

It was weeks before she showed and they had agreed to say nothing until then. She had asked him to come to her first scan. They waited anxiously in the room. As the the technician began Tommy took her hand and held it while they watched. The child was healthy and growing well. They smiled at each other and Barbara could see how important the moment was to him. She remembered Helen had not told him until she had thrust the scan pictures in his hand. He deserved to experience everything with her.

From then on Barbara had talked to him about everything, from her aches and pains to decisions she needed to make. She did not need help deciding but involving him gave him such pleasure that she rarely moved without discussing it first. Tommy had been grateful and was still incredibly tender and loving towards her. He had continued to ask her to marry him. They had argued about it and at one point even cried about it but she had held firm. One night she had almost waivered. Her back had been on fire and he had massaged it for her skilfully and tenderly. She had thanked him with a quick kiss but he had taken her into his arms and kissed her passionately. Unable, or unwilling, to resist he had spent the night. He had cagily proposed as they made love and she had almost agreed.

When she began to show they had shopped for bigger trousers that gave her a few more weeks before they would have to tell anyone. "For once those coats of yours might be useful," he joked.

"What am I going to tell them?"

"The truth. You're having my child." They had argued about the need to inform everyone about the role Tommy had played but he was insistent that he was not going to deny his child nor his love for Barbara.

"You don't love me, you just love that I am carrying your child."

"For the last time Barbara, can't you understand I love you and have for a long time? Of course I'm happy that you're having my child, our child, but I would still have asked you even if you weren't. Marry me Barbara, please!"

True to his word it had been the last time he had asked. When the time was right he had told Hillier about the baby then had gathered the squad together and informed them all. Barbara had stood sheepishly beside him. They had been congratulated but she had seen the incredulous looks on most of their faces as they wondered how she had managed to catch their handsome, wealthy boss. Tommy deflected questions about marriage skillfully but she could tell it rankled.

After the announcement they had developed a routine. They dined together every night at a pub or restaurant and he would escort her home. He had been solid and dependable and caring ever since she had told him. She had believed he would tire of her company or start to date other women but he had made her his world. Even his life as earl had been ignored, much to his mother's annoyance, while he focussed on her. She wished desperately that it was real; that he did love her but at least until the baby was born she could pretend.

She had begun to wish that his goodnight kiss had been more than one of friendship. He smiled at her one night as she opened the door. Instead of suggesting coffee or a drink she had propositioned him. "I'm having hormonal surges. I need sex." It was partially true, she did want to feel him close to her but the real motive was to be able to love him, to show him she appreciated all his attention.

The look on his face was classic. "I'm not a stud service Barbara," he had protested but one seductive kiss had changed his mind. As always their lovemaking that night was romantic yet passionate; ardent yet sentimental but above all mutually rapturous. Tommy was her ideal as a lover. "Good?" she asked anxiously.

"Didn't I indicate my appreciation?"

"Mmm, just a quality control check."

"Then perhaps you need a second sample!"

After that they had slept together most nights but it was not always sexual. Sometimes they just lay in each other's arms talking about work or the baby or planning the future. Tommy had assured her that he would not insist on Eton if it was a boy as long as she let him register the birth with them in case they later decided his alma mater was best for their son. So many things were debate and compromise but the process helped them both find a mutual ground between their prejudices.

Barbara was nervous about the birth and her protests about being under house arrest with Tommy were rather tokenistic. She had come to rely on him, perhaps too much. She had insisted she stay in his spare room but she had never expected they could stay apart. They had not had sex as much lately due to her size and discomfort but they had both ended up naked as he massaged her back and one thing had led to another. It had been lustful yet loving and she was surprised how some creativity could overcome any obstacles. Two hours later as he lay behind her cuddling her close he had told her how much he loved her. As he made love to her again she listened to his words and pretended it was true.

A week later when she went for one of her many nightly trips to the bathroom her waters had broken. She did not want to wake him so stood under the warmth of the shower waiting until her contractions began. She felt mildly guilty that perhaps they had been too active earlier and had brought on labour but two days early was hardly an issue.

As she lay with her legs in the air in the birthing suite she had tried to focus on Tommy rather than the pain. The smell of antiseptic made her nauseous and she was self-conscious of everyone peering at parts of her that she preferred to keep private. Tommy held her hand and mopped her brow and laughed at her curses. She was concentrating on pushing but at the moment she felt her son being born she had look up at Tommy in his blood-splattered green scrubs. He looked so happy and loving as he gazed at their son. When their eyes met she knew that, at that moment, he truly loved her and the boy more than anything else. She expected him to ask her to marry him. She would have said yes, but the offer never came.

If she ever had doubts about his lordship as a father they were quickly dispelled. Tommy did everything for Matthew and willingly got up in the middle of the night when she was too tired. Even the dirty nappies that repulsed her he seemed to enjoy changing and he had turned Matthew's objections to a bath into a huge game that ended with water everywhere but a clean and happy baby. She knew the time was approaching when she needed to move out of his house but Tommy was not pushing and they kept delaying the time. "After the christening," he had last said.

Early on Barbara had insisted that their child have her surname. She knew Tommy wanted to have Lynley and they had fought about it often. In the end Tommy had agreed, 'under the strongest protest'. She was no fool. She had also had legal advice and knew with Tommy named on the birth certificate any child could rightfully be his heir. She did not want to deprive any son of his birthright but she did not want to be the mother at school that had a different name to her child. Over the months as she had watched Tommy's reactions her objections had vanished. Tommy was besotted with the boy and was a good father. He deserved to have his son acknowledged.

The pride Tommy had as they stood at the font was clear to everyone but when she had uttered 'Lynley' she had felt him trembling against her. The kiss he placed on her head was so loving that she was ashamed of her earlier pettiness over the name. She would make sure that today she acted as if she were his wife, helping him be the earl he needed to be.

Surprisingly she had enjoyed talking to most of the guests at the garden party. Most were as nervous as her when she greeted them. She saw her own fears reflected in them but this time they were in awe of her. It was discomforting and she tried to put them at ease. She actually enjoyed showing off her son and talking to them about Cornwall. Everyone seemed to love Tommy but she wondered if he found it uncomfortable to have people think he was their superior. She had assumed he was perfectly attuned to his status but maybe it was all an act too.

She watched him talking to a farmer near the fountain. Tommy was providing advice about growing potatoes. The farmer nodded deferentially to her and left them alone. "Matthew is tired. I'm going up to our room to put him down and have a nap. You can stay with your guests."

"I'd rather come with you," he replied taking Matthew from her. "Come here little man."

Barbara enjoyed her shower. She was tired and even though it was only late afternoon she knew she would sleep for hours. Tommy was sitting by his son telling him about the day and how well he had behaved. They were both adorable and Barbara wanted to bury herself in Tommy's arms. He made no attempt to follow her to bed and instead went for a shower. Barbara looked down and realised that her flannelette pyjamas were not sending the right signals. She folded them and slipped back into bed.

He was whistling softly as he returned from his shower drying his hair vigorously with his towel. When he saw her he frowned but wasted no time diving under the covers into her arms. He caressed her back then kissed her tentatively. She murmured contentedly.

"Are we allowed?" he asked with sweet concern.

"Mmm, the doctor said it was fine two weeks ago. Now that my stomach has shrunk we can go back to something a little more 'traditional'."

Tommy had grinned at her then had slowly and gently made love to her. She had missed his intimate touches and his tenderness ignited a fire. She provided a less than subtle hint and he responded willingly. "Oh yes Tommy! I love you so very much."

"Oh Barbara, you're amazing!" She had half expected him to propose again but he simply held her and kissed her.

Matthew began to stir. It was almost time for his feed. Tommy dutifully jumped up and brought him back to their bed. Matthew suckled happily but painfully. She smiled as she thought that Tommy's mouth had just been there but much more softly.

Tommy squeezed her shoulder as if looking for her attention. She looked up. He was grinning broadly but had serious eyes. "I love you both so much. We are a family. Don't you think it's time we formalised it? Marry me Barbara."

"I thought you'd never ask!" she said with relief, "I've wanted to say yes for months. Yes Tommy, I will marry you!"

His kiss was so loving that she had tears in her eyes. He looked up as if he had been hit. "You said yes!"

He leapt from the bed and grabbed his towel which he hastily wrapped around his waist as he ran to the window. Barbara watched him in amusement. Even Matthew briefly paused as if wondering what his father was doing. Tommy flung open the window, unaware that the towel had caught on the handle. "She's agreed to marry me!" he yelled excitedly down to guests in the garden. Barbara heard his mother squeal and began to laugh uproariously, tears streaming down her face.

He turned to her and walked back towards the bed. "What's so funny?"

"Your towel," she said between chuckles, "your guests just saw all of the Asherton family jewels!"

Tommy looked down and his face turned scarlet. "No wonder Mother screamed," he said laughing, "but you and Matthew are the jewels of this family."