INT: IN AN AIRPORT WAITING ROOM.
Miranda and Gary are sat down, the twins are sat on her lap. Gary is asleep.
MIRANDA: (To the camera) Oh hello! It's nice to see you all! Its been a while hasn't it! Nine months in fact, the twins are now twelve months old. Just look at them, I can't believe how quickly they are growing! They can both walk now and are starting to talk a little. I'm pretty sure Gracie said "Such Fun," the other day! Anyway, previously in my life; Gary's latest venture ended in disaster.
EXT: IN A PARK.
Gary is stood next to an ice cream cart "Gary's Gelato"
GARY: Come get your free sample!
A crowd gathers, mainly teenagers. He starts to hand out the "samples" it is a tiny bit of ice cream on a wafer. The teenage boys are a little disappointed. The next you see Gary shoved in the cart as its rolling down the path, it ends up in the pond.
INT: AIRPORT WAITING ROOM.
Miranda and the twins are eating ice cream.
MIRANDA: He never wants to see another ice cream in his life!
She leans over and dabs the ice cream on his nose. Grace copies. He wakes, jumps up from the seat and runs off.
MIRANDA: He's such a wuss. What else? Oh yes, these two have started nursery.
INT: FLASHBACK AT A NURSERY.
Miranda and Gary walk in and are met by the room leader.
ROOM LEADER: Mr and Mrs Preston, is it okay if I have a quick word?
MIRANDA: Sound ominous but okay.
They are taken to the side.
ROOM LEADER: We have noticed that Grace and William sleep a lot!
GARY: They follow their mother!
MIRANDA: Excuse me?
Camera pans around to reveal Grace and William asleep in the corner, both with their arms behind their head.
ROOM LEADER: They've been asleep since twelve o'clock.
MIRANDA: That's not too bad!
GARY: M, its half past four! That's four and a half hours!
ROOM LEADER: It is normal for children of this age to sleep for a while, but usually two hours is the most.
MIRANDA: Well it could be down to the fact they were up watching "Midsommer Murders" with me until the early hours.
Gary puts his head in his hands.
GARY: We will look at their routine! Thank you for bringing this to our attention.
INT: BACK TO THE AIRPORT WAITING ROOM.
MIRANDA: So now I have lost my TV buddies! Gary has become very strict, the children have to be in bed by half seven at the latest!
Gary reappears.
GARY: What did you do that for?
MIRANDA: I thought they called our flight.
GARY: And did they?
MIRANDA: No, false alarm!
Gary sits back down and picks up William.
GARY: Are we excited?
MIRANDA: YES! YES!
GARY: I was talking to the children!
MIRANDA: I know, I was answering for them!
A family walk past them.
GARY: Why can't we be like them?
MIRANDA: What prude and stuck up?
GARY: No, normal! Everyone is looking at them and im sure are thinking the same as me!
MIRANDA: Which is?
GARY: That they're the perfect family!
MIRANDA: Umm excuse me, what is wrong with us?
Gary pauses.
MIRANDA: I'm waiting!
GARY: Well we're not exactly normal are we?
MIRANDA: Normal? What is normal?
GARY: For starters, normal people wouldn't wear these horrid matching t-shirts!
Gary takes off his jumper to reveal a t-shirt. On it, it has a picture of the four of them. The picture is very distorted, making their heads look like aliens, branding the slogan Preston Family holiday!
MIRANDA: These were a gift from mum.
GARY: But why do we have to wear them? They are hideous!
MIRANDA: I am tired of trying to "fit" in Gary, it is obvious this family are meant to stand out! We are unique! I'm going to celebrate that fact!
Gary puts his jumper back on.
MIRANDA: (To camera) This is our second family holiday, and I'm hoping it goes better than the last.
EXT: FLASHBACK. AT DISNEYLAND PARIS.
Miranda and Gary are stood at the side of the parade. Miranda bends down to get something out of Grace's pushchair and accidentally pushes it into the parade. All the characters start to fall over causing a massive pile up.
INT: BACK TO THE AIRPORT WAITING ROOM.
Miranda has her hands over her eyes.
MIRANDA: Thankfully Grace wasn't in the pushchair! Unfortunately were not allowed back for two years. Meaning we've had to find somewhere else to go.
AIRPORT TANOID: Flight 2340 to Rome is now boarding.
MIRANDA: That's us!
She jumps up, with the twins in her arms. Gary jumps up and picks up the hand luggage. They start to walk towards the gate.
MIRANDA: We're going to have to leave you now! I will see you on the other side!