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Happy Reading! :)
CHAPTER 7
Cendric Alexander Swan
The next day, I claimed that I wasn't feeling well so I wouldn't have to go to school and confront Edward. We still talked on the phone, but I couldn't face him knowing that I was keeping such a big secret from him. Thankfully, I had gained my consciousness before Edward had returned from his outing with Emmett yesterday, so Edward wasn't suspicious. As far as he knows, I was suffering from a bad and contagious flu.
"Bella, what a lovely susprise," Angela exclaimed when I walked into her office a few hours later.
"Hi. Are you busy?"
Angela was my mother's adopted little sister. My grandparents adopted her when she was just one month old. I loved Angela. It may have had to do with the fact that she was only ten years older than me, but it also because she was the only person who really understood me. She was more my friend than my aunt and I always confided in her when I needed help or advice. She was there when my mother died and helped my dad and me a lot. Without her, I didn't know where we would have been. She was the person I usually looked up to. She knows about Edward and everything that happened between us, except from the fact that I was pregnant. She was really supportive and understanding.
Let's see how understanding she can be now.
"No, I have a few minutes before my next appointment. Have a seat." I did as I was told and started thinking about ways to break it to her. "So, what brings you to the hospital?"
"You're a OBGYN, right?" I asked, my nerves showing in my voice.
"Yeah." She frowned. "Why?"
"I need you to run a test for me."
Rosalie thought that I should probably be checked up by a doctor. I was still hoping that the test was false, but I had a feeling that there was no chance of that happening. The chances were slim to none.
"Are you sick?" she asked, alarmed.
"I wouldn't call what I have a type of sickness."
I could tell she was getting frustrated. "Just spit it out, Bella."
"I think I'm pregnant," I mumbled, my stomach tied in knots.
She remained silent for a while. The only sign of life that she gave off was the rapid fluttering of her eyelashes. I could hear the clock ticking away and minute by minute, and as each minute passed I began to get more and more anxious. Bullets of sweat were running down my face and my heart pounded harder than it ever had before.
Come on, Angela. Say something. Please!
"You think?" she finally said.
"I took a test yesterday and it came out positive," I mumbled with my head down. I was so embarassed!
"God, Bella," she whispered.
"I'm sorry." Tears started running began to stream down my cheeks. I couldn't control my emotions ever since I learned that I was pregnant. Since I had learned I was pregnant, I hadn't been able to control by emotions.
Angela came and pulled me in for a motherly hug, a hug that I was dying for badly. "It's going to be okay," she whispered, before kissing my temple. "I'm going to take a blood sample and take it to the lab, okay?"
"No, Angela. No one can find out."
"I'll run them anonymously. Don't worry."
She led me to the bed she had for examination and took a sample of my blood. I hadn't eaten breakfast this morning since I was scared of getting sick again, so I was surprised that I was able to throw up after I saw my blood in the tube.
"We'll know for sure in ten minutes." Angela came back into her office.
"So soon?" She sat in the chair beside me and took my hands in hers.
"I pulled some strings." She rubbed my hands and looked at me with a sad expression. "Does Edward know?" she asked.
I sighed. I didn't really want to think about Edward right now.
"No, I found out just yesterday. I don't want to be a mother right now, Angela." I confessed. I couldn't be a mother at only seventeen. I was completely incapable of being one.
"Are you thinking about getting an abortion?"
"I don't know. It sounds harsh to kill a baby, but I can't raise it. Maybe I'll give it up for adoption. I'm so scared." I was sure I was going to be sent away to a military school after Charlie found out.
"It's okay to be scared. You have time to decide about adoption, but don't have an abortion, Bella. Don't do it. I was scared too, when I found out that I was pregnant with Nathan, but everything turned out okay."
"You were married when you had Nathan. You weren't in high school."
"True, but that didn't mean that I wasn't worried about the baby or about me. I was a nervous wreck the night I told Ben that he was going to be a father. It's okay to be scared. It's something unknown to you."
"Charlie will freak out. He'll be devastated when I tell him. He's the chief of Police, he can't have his teenager pregnant daughter. He let me do what I wanted and expected from me to not do anything reckless. "
"Charlie loves you. Sure, he won't embrace it with open arms, but he'll come around." She let out a small laugh. "Like mother, like daughter."
"What do you mean?" I asked, confused. What did my mother had to do with all of this?
"You don't know about that?" She looked guilty. What don't I know?
"No. What does mom has to do with me being pregnant?"
She sighed and went to sit down behind her desk. "You should discuss this with your father."
"What don't I know about my mother, Angela?" I had to know.
"It's not my story to tell. I'm sorry." I let it drop, for now, but I was already making plans to talk about it with Charlie. She shouldn't have dropped a bomb like that when she knew that I was curious about my mother.
Ten minutes later, the results came in, confirming what I already knew. Inside of me was a little Cullen. Angela subscribed me some vitamins and recommended some pregnancy books for me to read. We made an appointment to have an ultrasound in the middle of the week, and then said our goodbyes.
Later that aftrernoon, I went to Port Angeles to get my vitamins and books. I couldn't exactly go and buy all of those things in Forks; everyone would have known that I was pregnant before I'd even left the store. I was going to try and keep it a secret as long as possible.
That afternoon, I was in the kitchen cooking lasagna when Charlie came home.
"Hey, Bells. Feeling better?" He kissed my cheek and sat down at the kitchen table.
"Much better. I'm cooking lasagna today. Good with you?"
"Yeah. Sue will be joining us today. Hope that's okay." I had met Sue a month ago. We had gone to dinner at a nice restaurant in Port Angeles and talked about. She was a really nice woman. Expect from the fact that she was really beautiful and really well kept in the age of forty, she had an internal beauty too. She was kind, sweet, very optimistic, and always had a smile on her face. Just by watching her smile you could make you feel better. She was good for my dad. And most importantl, she wasn't trying to be my mother. Sue said that she would never be able to replace my mother, and that she just wanted to be my friend.
We had become really close this past month, but I was still felt a little uncomfortable when I saw Sue and my dad kiss, even though if it was just a peck on the lips. I had only ever watched my dad kiss my mother before, but I was trying to get used to it. Things were getting serious between them and I wouldn't be too surprised if I found out that they were going to get married.
"I don't mind. She likes lasagna, right?" I asked, taking a seat myself.
"Yeah, she does."
I hadn't forgotten my talk with Angela this morning. I was trying all day to find way to approach Charlie about the subject of my mother. I wasn't going to let it slide. I didn't know a lot about my mother's past. She never mentioned anything about her past or her teenage years. It was a still mystery for me, and now, I wasn't ever going to find out about her past. Unless Charlie opened his mouth up his mouth and began talking.
"I visited Angela today," I began.
"I know. She called me to give me a heads up. So, I'm guessing you want to know?" He said, taking me off guard. Angela called him? I guess I should've been thankful for that because he seemed like he was going to tell me now
I didn't say anything; I just nodded. Charlie took a deep breath and started talking.
"Your mother and I were high school sweethearts, as you call it nowadays. We started dating when we were in freshman year. We were madly in love with each other and even though we were only dating for two years, we had already had plans to get married after graduation. At the beginning of senior year, we found out that your mother was pregnant."
"Wait," I interrupted him. "You told me that I was born when you both were twenty three years old."
"That's correct. Your mother wasn't pregnant with you in high school, but with a little boy. She was really scared about what I would say and what our parents would say. She was ready to have an abortion, but I stopped her. A friend of hers knew about the baby and what Renee was going to do, and told me about it. Even though we were young, we still wanted to have the baby. We loved him. So, we decided to keep him. We faced our parents together. Mine were more understanding than your mother's parents."
"That's why I never met them?" I asked. Now it all made sense.
"Renee's parents threw her out of the house. They wanted nothing to do with her. Your mother was came from one of the most wealthy and powerful families in Chicago. It would have been embarassing for them to have a daughter that commited such a sin."
"You were living in Chicago?"
"Yes. A few months after we found out that Renee was pregnant, my father got the job of Chief Police here in Forks. Renee got emancipated and moved with us. Everything was running smoothly. We, of course, had the stares, the rumors and the whispers. You know how high school is. But we got through it. We were happy that we were going to be parents. Your grandparents were really supportive and we thought with their help that we could do it, that we were capable of raising a baby." Charlie wiped away a tear which had fallen from his eye. I was speechless.
"On the day of our graduation, your mother's water broke," Charlie continued. "We were on our way to the hospital. At that time I had an old truck, a gift from my father for graduation. I was speeding, and your mother was in the passenger seat screaming and yelling. She was in great pain and that made me nervous. I was near the hospital when a bus came out of nowhere. I didn't see it. I didn't have time to do anything to prevent what happened. The bus hit the passenger's door. Renee was rushed into the hospital. She suffered from serious injuries on her head and ribs. She was going to be okay. She needed time to heal, but she was going to be okay. But not the baby. The placenta got dislocated when the bus crushed onto us and the baby died instantly. There was nothing we could do to save him. He was gone. Just like that." Charlie broke down. I had never seen my father like that- not even at my mothers funeral. But then he couldn't cry, he had to be strong for me.
I sat on his lap and hugged him tightly. His arms tightened around me and he kept sobbing into my neck. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't say anything. That was why my mother never taked about her past to me. She couldn't talk to me. She must have been heartbroken. I couldn't imagine what it was like to lose your baby when you were just on the way to finally have it in your arms. All those months of waiting to see your baby, to have it in your arms and love it, and in just a second, the baby was gone. All of their dreams were crushed. They didn't see him grow, succeed. They didn't see his smile, they didn't hear his laughter. They didn't hear him say his first word. They didn't see him take his first steps.
When Charlie had calmed down a little and continued talking. I didn't interrupt him. I let him let it all out. "I was so angry. I was angry at her parents that weren't there for her, I was angry with my father cause we came here because of him. Later that day, the Police told me that there weren't any passengers on the bus and that the driver was drunk and passed a red light. I was so angry with the bus driver. I wanted to kill him with my bare hands, but the doctors wouldn't let me see him. I'm ashamed to say that I smiled a little when I was informed that he died that next day. Then, I was angry with myself. I didn't protect her, I didn't protect him. If I wasn't speeding, none of that would have happened. I would have seen the bus and I would have prevented it. It was my fault. If none of that happened, he would've been here right now."
"Dad, stop it! It wasn't your fault. You didn't know that the bus was coming. He was drunk. It was his fault dad, not yours. Stop blaming yourself." Tears were running down my cheeks now. I couldn't believe that Charlie blamed himself for something that wasn't even his fault. It pained me to think that he'd had such a burden on his shoulders.
"Renee was heartbroken," he continued like I'd said nothing. "At first, she never talked to anyone. She wouldn't eating, she wouldn't drinking, she was just slept. I thought that it was her way of dealing with it. It hurt me. I didn't know what to do. I wanted her to say to me that she forgave me, that we'd be okay and deal with it together. But everytime I was in the room and tried to talk to her, she'd push that little button above her bed and go back to sleep. I was sure that she hated me. That she blamed me for what happened. I wanted to leave Forks. I thought that if I left her, she would be better. She wouldn't have to look at the man who caused her so much pain everyday. But I couldn't. I couldn't leave her when she needed me the most. I couldn't leave when I needed her the most, I only visited her when she was asleep. It broke my heart that I couldn't talk to her, that I couldn't touch her. Two weeks after she was released from the hospital, she didn't have anywhere to go, so I went to pick her up. Angry or not, she had to let me help her. We talked and talked for hours on end. She told me that she wasn't blaming me, and that she just needed time."
All of this talk made me want to touch my belly, to touch my baby. All this talk made me think otherwise about the baby and this whole situation. Of course, I didn't think about abortion, but I didn't want the baby. Now, that I knew what my parents went through so many years ago, I wanted this baby so much. I didn't know how someone could go on with his life knowing that his baby was gone. I didn't know how I could go on if something happened to the human-being growing inside me. I didn't even want to think about it. I was having this baby, despite what everyone else was going to say!
"We continued to live our lives. It was hard, but we managed. Angela was the only person from Renee's family that kept in contact with us, and she really helped us both. When she turned sixteen, she emancipated, too. She was an embarassment, too, for supporting us, as Renee's parents put it. I wanted to kill those people. Anyway, she was one of the few people that helped us get through Cendric's death."
"His name was Cendric?" I wiped away my own tears.
"Cendric Alexander Swan. Five years later, you came along. You were just what we needed to put everything behind and move on. You were the miracle we needed to really start living again. You put a smile on your mother's face and that was enough for me to love you to death. We were really scared about you. We didn't want to relive what happened with Cendric, so we were extra careful. When Renee was nine months pregnant, she only left the house to go to the hospital on the day you were born. That's how scared she was. She loved you too much to let you go, just like she did with Cendric."
"Why didn't you tell me before?"
He sighed and kissed my cheek. "We decided not to tell you anything with about your mother. We didn't want you to be sad over about it. It belonged in the past. Even though Cendric was in our hearts and minds every day, we didn't want you to have to know about it. We didn't want you to feel as heartbroken as we were. I was a mess that day of the accident. I felt like the air was being pulled out of me. My eyes were red for days after the accident since I was crying. I couldn't breathe properly and it felt like properly until Renee told me that she forgave me. I didn't want to live after what happened. I didn't know how I could go on with my life. I didn't want you to feel even a slither of what I felt, of what Renee felt. If it was in my hands, you would never have felt heartbroken in your life." He confessed. "I'm sorry I broke down in front of you." He added.
"It's okay. You needed to let it all out. Thank you for telling me." I kissed his cheek and hugged him tightly again.
"Is something burning?" Charlie sniffed the air.
"The lasagna. Damn it!" I ran and switched off the oven. Thankfully, it wasn't too burned. Just the top, it was eatable. I didn't think I would have forgiven myself if I destroyed the food. I was really craving it.
"Did you bury Cendric in the cemetery?" I asked.
"No, we didn't. We cremated him and threw his ashes into the sea down at First Beach." He grabbed a bottle of water.
"Can you take me there sometime?"
He looked at me in the eye. I didn't know what he was trying to found what he was looking for, but I think he did because he agreed with me. "Of course."
Ten minutes later, Sue came and we had a lovely dinner. Charlie and I left the topic of Cendric behind and had a good time. Sue sensed the tense atmosphere and did everything she possibly could to cheer the both of us up. It made me love her even more.
That night before sleep overtook me, I talked to my baby for the first time. I didn't know if the baby could hear me but I told him that I loved him and that I was going to do everything possible to protect him. The talk I'd had with Charlie had really opened my eyes. I was seeing things differently now. For once in the past three days, I felt like a mother. I felt like I could do anything. I wanted to have this baby. I wanted to keep him. I wanted to try and be the best mom in the world. I knew it was going to be difficult, but I was going to do everything to succeed.
Now, all I hoped for was Charlie to be as understanding as his parents were to him.
Thoughts? No one expected that, right? It seems like history is repeating itself!
In the next chapter Charlie finds out about the baby. What do you think he's reaction is going to be? Is he going to be as understanding as his parents were or not?
Leave me a review and let me know. :)