Part Nine
June - Somewhere in the Poconos, New York
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Miranda spent fourteen days in the hospital, five of which were spent bedridden—three when she first arrived, and two the following week when she had an infection. Today was their first day out of the hospital; Andrea was a nervous wreck, and Miranda was getting carsick.
The car came to a stop in the driveway just outside the garage. The older woman unclasped her seatbelt and reached for the door, but Andrea reached out for her hand and stopped her.
"He's asleep. Let me take him inside like that in his carrier, and then I will come back for you."
Miranda watched the young woman's expression, and something warned her not to challenge her today. "Okay. But I am opening the door for some fresh air," she said.
Andrea quickly took the carseat from the back of the car and carried it to the house, setting it down on the porch only when she needed to unlock the door. She situated the carrier on the floor next to the couch, then headed back to the car to help Miranda, who was fanning herself with the post-op folder from the hospital.
"Ready?" Andrea asked quietly, holding out her hand.
Miranda nodded and tucked the folder back into her bag, handing it to Andrea while she reached for the handle on the interior of the car. She slowly got out of the car with Andrea's help, and after walking a few feet, she stopped and turned away from the young woman.
"What is it? Are you okay?" Andrea asked.
Miranda waved her hand and promptly wrapped her other arm around her waist in an attempt to still her stomach muscles.
Andrea took her hand and wrapped her arm around the woman. "Carsick?"
Miranda nodded. She squeezed Andrea's hand as she tried to take a few deep breaths.
"Let's go inside—it's cooler, you can take this jacket off, and I'll turn a fan on for you," she said, gently leading the woman to the house.
Miranda took off her jacket and cardigan and carefully sat on the couch. Andrea brought her a glass of water and repositioned the fan so it was blowing directly on her and not the baby.
"I setup the crib and everything last night—it's nothing fancy, but at least he'll have a place to sleep," she said. "I moved the big dresser out of your room and set everything up there in the corner, room darkening shaded, you know. But if you want to move it, or want to turn the second bedroom into a nursery, I can do that for you."
"Did you get a baby monitor?" Miranda asked, her eyes still closed.
"Should come from Amazon tomorrow."
"Where will you stay?" she asked.
"My stuff is still in the guest house, but I was thinking I'd stay here for the first few nights in case you need something."
"Don't be ridiculous, Andrea. You're staying here with us," she said, sitting up and taking a drink of water. She looked over towards the stairs and rolled her eyes.
"I had a cleaning crew come in—they took care of everything," Andrea said.
"I wasn't even thinking about that," Miranda said. "But I can imagine it was quite the mess. I have to use the bathroom, which is upstairs."
"Give me a few minutes and I'll help you. I'll take Caleb upstairs to his crib. That way you can take your time."
Miranda watched the young woman take the baby upstairs. Her baby, her little baby boy. She took a deep breath and pushed herself off the sofa. She set her glass on the kitchen counter, then headed for the stairs. Andrea met her, carefully and quietly supporting her as she took her time.
Upstairs, Andrea turned down Miranda's bed and laid out a comfortable cotton night shirt. She also ran downstairs to grab the pain medication from Miranda's purse, bringing it upstairs along with a bottle of water and a small plate of crackers.
When she returned, Miranda had already changed her clothes, and was now leaning over the side of the crib, gently stroking the little boy's head. "I should have made him a bottle before coming upstairs," she said. "Will you?"
"Oh, of course. I'll be right back."
"Not too warm—"
"I know," she said. "I'll be right back."
Miranda turned back to the crib just as Caleb was waking up. "Oh hello, my sweet pea," she said, scooping him up in her arms. "You are such a sound sleeper, aren't you?" She went to sit on the bed and grunted as pain shot through her abdomen. "Mommy has to be careful," she whispered, kissing him gently on the forehead.
Andrea returned with a bottle and instead of handing it to Miranda, the woman handed her the baby. She happily sat in the chair near the crib and fed little Caleb, but she couldn't help but worry about Miranda, who she saw taking a dose of pain medication before laying down. After feeding and burping the baby, she carefully took him into the other bedroom and laid on the bed with him for a while.
Here was this precious little human being, that six months ago, almost didn't make it to this world. For six months, she didn't think she'd even see this baby, let alone be able to spend time with him. But here they were—she was "legally" this baby's mother, and the idea just brought a tear to her eye. After a while, she changed his diaper and laid him back down in his crib, fast asleep.
"Andrea."
The young woman stopped in the doorway, casting a shadow across the room, across the bed. Miranda patted the mattress next to her and Andrea approached, carefully climbing onto the bed so as not to jostle the other woman.
"Darling—"
Andrea quickly cut her off, pressing a kiss to her lips and passionately seeking out her tongue. Miranda responded by tugging the woman closer, knowing she had limited range of motion because of the stitches in her abdomen.
When the young woman pulled away for air, Miranda, too, took a deep breath. "Andrea, darling," she said. "I want to talk to you about something, something serious, okay?"
Andrea swallowed nervously. "Okay…"
"I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I want to take your name off of Caleb's birth certificate," she said.
Andrea opened her mouth to speak, then promptly closed it. She was confused. Hadn't it been Miranda's idea? And now, what next, that she wants her to remove herself from the house? From her life?
"Say something."
"I—I don't understand."
"Darling, it will be easier this way. Trust me."
Andrea sat up in bed, ignoring the grimace on Miranda's face at the bounce in the mattress. "Easier for who? You? So you can throw me out of your life and have less to clean up? I can't believe this. I spent five months of my life…" she ran her fingers through her hair. "I should have known better than to trust you," she said, climbing off the bed and marching out the door, slamming it behind her.
The sound woke the baby, so as Miranda struggled to get herself up out of bed, she had to listen to Caleb's shrill screams. She heard the front door slam, and then the car engine starting as she picked up the baby and tried soothing him back to sleep. With one hand free, she carefully made her way down the stairs and located her cell phone inside her bag. She doubted the young woman would answer right now, so she sent a text message instead.
Andrea, please don't leave. I didn't mean for you to take it like that. I need to finish explaining. -M x
It felt like hours, pacing the kitchen with the baby and staring at the phone. She made a call to the townhouse, just to ensure the phone was getting a signal. Finally, her phone pinged with a response.
Ok.
Just one word—two letters. Miranda prepared a bottle and grabbed a banana for herself, then climbed the stairs again, slowly and carefully. Upstairs, she changed the baby's diaper, put a fresh set of pajamas on him, and gave him his nighttime bottle. So far, he was a perfect little human, eating and sleeping when he was supposed to, and mostly without complaint. When he finished the bottle, he was already half asleep, so it took very little effort to burp him and lay him down.
Miranda herself took a seat in the rocking chair, grateful it had arms she could use to ease herself into it. She drank a full bottle of water, ate a banana, then decided to text Andrea back.
I meant what I said a few weeks ago—I want you in my life for at least the next eighteen years. I don't think either of us was thinking straight that day. You don't need to be on the birth certificate to play a role in our lives. In fact, it will be much easier for you if it's not there. And I honestly don't feel too great about my plans to lie to my children.
She sent the longer message and waited for a response. When she didn't receive one after a few minutes, she tried again.
I don't need an answer now. It's a lot to think about. But please, consider doing this with me for real, not under some falsely imposed circumstances. I want what's best for you, and for me, and for my children—you must know that. I look forward to talking to you in the morning. Love, M
And with that message sent, Miranda took another pain pill and went to bed. When she woke, there was sunlight streaming into the bedroom and she noticed a vase with fresh sunflowers at her bedside table.
She sat up quickly, forgetting about the bandages, then sank back as her muscles burned with pain. Slowly and carefully, she turned to her side, then pushed herself up. She took another pain pill, and saw a post-it on her cell phone: text me when you wake up.
Miranda smiled and quickly sent a text message to the young woman, who appeared in the doorway no less than sixty seconds later.
"Where's Caleb?" Miranda asked.
"Downstairs, in his new bouncer. I went to Walmart for a few things last night. Who knew you could buy flowers there?"
"Andrea, I—are you—" Miranda bit her lip.
"I'm still here. I needed some time to myself last night, but I came back and slept here in the guest bedroom. That's why you didn't hear Caleb wake up this morning. Do you want to shower first, or do you want breakfast?"
Miranda looked at her, confused.
"What?"
"Did you get my text messages last night? Both of them?"
"Yes. Why?"
"And you're not upset, or you don't want to talk?"
"I was a little upset, but it's okay now—we can talk later. Are you ready for breakfast?"
Miranda smiled and nodded, feeling a little guilty for upsetting the young woman last night, and then taking her time with her today. But she could feel her stomach churning after all the pain medication on an empty stomach, so she thought breakfast was the right compromise.
Andrea held out her robe—Miranda insisted she get up out of bed herself, without assistance—and took her hand, squeezing gently before leading her down the stairs. It was beyond remarkable, the ease with which the young woman practiced forgiveness. Miranda realized she had a lot to learn from the young woman.
After spending some time with the baby this morning, she went upstairs to shower while Andrea laid him down for a nap. When she emerged from the bathroom, her hair was mostly dried and pulled back in a clip, and she was wearing a black racerback cotton dress. She had minimal makeup on, and looked gorgeous as ever.
"Hey," Andrea said quietly.
"Shit!" Miranda said, jumping. She hadn't expected to see the woman on the chair in the bedroom.
"Caleb just fell asleep. How was your shower?"
"It was wonderful, but now I am ready to go back to sleep," she said with a sigh.
Andrea stood from the chair. "I'll lay down with you—we can go in the other bedroom if you'd like?"
Miranda shook her head and pointed to the bed. Andrea sat first, then Miranda joined her. She laid on her back and bent her legs, avoiding use of her abdominal muscles to move up closer to the head of the bed.
She exhaled when she reached her destination. "Can you hand me a pillow to put between my knees? I'm going to turn on my side," she said.
Andrea took a pillow and placed it between her knees, watching as the woman grimaced and turned to her side.
"That was exhausting," Miranda said.
Andrea smiled, turning on her side to face Miranda. "I want to apologize for storming out yesterday," she said. Miranda opened her mouth to protest, but Andrea pressed a finger to her lips. "Please, let me finish. I was scared because my first reaction was that if you wanted me off the birth certificate, then there would be nothing to hold me to you. I wasn't thinking straight."
Miranda reached for her hand and gently squeezed.
"As I was driving, and I saw your first text, I realized that it wasn't what you meant, and it wasn't what I wanted, either. I don't want you to have any sort of obligation to me because of a piece of paper, nor do I really want to contribute to a lie. I want to be here with you because," she paused, "because I love you. There's nothing more to it."
At that, Miranda started to cry. "Darling," she said.
Andrea leaned forward and kissed her on the lips before she could say anything more. "I know that in the next few months, this will be more challenging than I can begin to describe, but I want it. Do you understand that? I want to be here as you figure it out—as we figure it out. I can only hope you want the same thing."
"Oh, Andrea. I do. I want that. I can't even begin to imagine what I will tell my daughters, but knowing you will be here with me makes it less frightening," she said.
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TBC - one more chapter left...thank you for the reviews and support! :)