When airlock opened, Joker turned around in his chair.
"Hey Commander, took you some time there, krogan sushi got to you?" Smartass pilot asked.
"Once you kill all ingredients on your plate it goes pretty quick," an unknown voice behind Shepard replied with a chuckle. Commander only smiled. This two are gonna go at it for days.
"Joker, meet our new crew member, Max" Shepard motioned to the man in interesting clothing. A fitting black attire resembled that sneaky thief that appeared a few hours ago here. A t-shirt with grinning monster was a bit tacky.
"Nice to meet ya Joker" Max came up and slapped a handshake. "Ah! Careful!" Joker hissed.
"He's got brittle bones," John said quickly.
"Ah, I see," Max smiled "Then you better be careful with porn or you won't just go blind"
John laughed looking Jokers reddening face. Well well, smartass got sassied.
"Where did you get him Shepard?" Joker said trying to act cool.
"What's the matter Joker? Got beaten to the punch in your own game by my little brother?"
"Your brother?!" Joker was shocked. On second thought, Shepard never talked about his family. "Commander Max Shepard" Max gave a mock salute. "But I'm known as Jester," he finished with a smile of a harlequinn.
"Ah no. No, no, hell no! Don't rip off of me" Joker tried to salvage whole situation. Max only leaned and unplugged pilot's earpiece. Unmistakeable moans echoed through cockpit.
"You naughty boy...tsk,tsk,tsk" Max didn't stopped smiling for a moment and plugged earpiece back.
"All right Max, stop terrorizing my helmsman and come on" John decided to end first round for theese two. "Joker, set course to Purgatory prison ship, Osun orbit in Hourglass Nebula!"
Brothers entered briefing room.
"EDI, patch me in a secured channel to SSV Orizaba" John said. "A resident AI" he answered to a questioning look from Max.
"This is SSV Orizaba, state your business" A male voice spoken along image of a clean cut officer.
"Tell Captain Hannah Shepard that both of her sons are on the line" Max quickly said. Officer hesitated for a second then left the comm open and disappeared. After a minute a woman came into the view. Middle-age looking with short brownish hair and kind face contrasting with sharp stare and a posture fit for an admiral. Hannah Shepard took a glance at their sons.
"It's about time you sorry ass reported in" she spoken in vibrant accusing tone. "I had to pull your brother from an op he was planning for the last three months just to get you calling your old mother!"
John smiled. He knew her too well. She wasn't pissed, she was damn happy. "Mom, glad to see you haven't changed"
"Don't try sweet talking me John" Hannah interrupted. "You know what I felt when I heard my son died? Two years! And now I learn you're alive and suspected Cerberus liason, I heard it from my ensign when he read a gossip column from some tabloid!"
John felt bad. He was a badass, a damn hero and survivor. And still he was yelled at by his mother making him feel like a kid...
"Mom, I died. Really. A dead burned meat. Cerberus dug me out and rebuilded somehow. Stuffed some cybernetics to replace missing bits but it's still me. It took'em two years. I'm up and running for about a month, and was wrapped up in trying to get help but nobody cares. Council flipped me, Alliance wants me as a scapegoat, only damn Cerberus helps."
Hannah raised her eyebrow but knew John enough to know he was no liar. Too damn of a bloke... "With what you need help if I may?"
"The missing colonies right? Along Terminus? I've been to Freedom's Progress, empty. But security cameras were working on. Collectors. Damn body snatchers are kidnapping whole settlements."
Hannah looked at her son with slight disbelief. This was downplayed but rumors were flying about more and more missing colonists.
"Nobody believes it's them, even with proof, mom. Cerberus is all everybody sees. I know it's a deal with the devil but I'd rather sell my one soul than watch tens of thousand vanish. Even worse, They're just pawns. Their masters are Reapers."
"John do you really believe that..." Shepard matron trailed off her voice, this was an element she didn't gave full credit.
"Yes. I do. You saw Sovereign at the Citadel, even geth don't have that tech. And no machine would follow organic so this talk about Saren's ruse to trick Geth is bullshit"
"Alright, Alright, I believe that you believe and that's enough. Look, I'm sure our little talk here is recorded on both ends so we'll talk in person someday. Right know, good luck John, be careful son. And William?" Hannah turned to Max. "You better do your job and look out for him. If any of you dies I'll kill you both, even if you're dead"
"Will do mom" Max nodded. "Take care"
"You too boys. I love you" Hannah terminated link.
"So, that went well." John sighed. He really needed that. Mom made everything right again.
"I'm younger and supposed to look out after both of us? Welcome to the apocalypse party" Max muttered. John looked at him "Despite what she says, I'm the Commander here and I give orders, William," John knew that his brother hated his first name.
"Yeaaaaaah" Max said yawning. "Whatever, Logan. I'm here to keep you alive and help you. While embarrasing you on every step 'cause I have to amuse myself somehow", John punched him in the arm. "Ouch, okay okay I'll do it only sometimes and not in combat" Max chuckled. "So I'm off the hook or you have a place for me?"
"Actually I do but first of all... Since when you are so gung-ho?" John always seen his brother as prankster and walking mischief not a soldier despite his good scores in training. Jester sighed and lost his arrogance.
"When you died I was finishing specialized infiltrator training. When I heard what happened I couldn't pass sniper tests, too restless they said. So I applied for CQB, infiltration and sabotage. Basically a sanctioned close combat assassin and demo-man. Passed eight month ago. Got promoted to Staff Commander but once I went active, my records got sealed and rank hidden. Pulled a few hardcore stunts against Hegemony. You know, slavers and other scum." John was impressed, his little brother was a skilled fighter now. Despite his slim body that always earned a disapproval from other soldiers he came around as CQB specialist. "Anyway, been preparing for insertion in Terminus, take out some red sand and other stuff but got pulled from the team 12 hours before the strike, personally by Hackett at mom's request and here I am"
"Hackett pulled you?" John asked hearing old man's name.
"Yeah, my unit is under his wings, he's a direct head honcho calling the shots"
"Impressive." John said thinking about both his brothers skills and service.
"Yeah, but we better cut it for another time" Max said smiling an tapping on his omni-tool.
"Why?"
"Cause I've been jamming any listetning device in this room when you called mom" Jester gave his harlequinn's smile. "Your Cerberus secretary will be pissed"
"Miranda? She's XO and an Ice Queen, don't piss her off too much, she has no sense of humor" John warned him and motioned to the doors. Duo entered Armory.
"You think you can handle here? We've lost arms master on Omega pulling my friend from under Blue Suns gun ship firing at us."
"Shit, tough luck. I lost a buddy from boot camp. caught in a booby trap." Max saddened for a second. "Anyway, yeah, I know enough to maintain weapons and armor, if you give me time and some toys I can tinker with a bit, maybe add little class to them." Jester chuckled. "By the way, I get that you're on a mission and all but you're not just with that turian and two hotties only right?"
John laughed inside. Wonder what both Miranda and Kasumi would say if they'd heard that...
"Miranda you know already, other is Kasumi Goto, thief and infiltrator just picked her up so we'll see what she's offering. Turian's name is Garrus Vakarian and he's my good friend. It was him who I've pulled from Omega. Also in the lab behind briefing room resides Mordin Solus. Salarian scientist, talks even more and faster than you Max" That made them both chuckle. Max's fascination with some 21st century rapcore band 'Hollywood Undead' had been a constant source of jokes regarding Max's attempts at mimicking their music. Specially when he got drunk. "There's also Zaeed Massani, poor old sod, mercenary legend from Terminus. Guy's even worse comedian than Miranda so watch it."
"Alright alright, but no jokes about my music or you'll regret it" Jester quickly got the reference. And he got much better at it. "So how bout you show me those digs fully and then I'll commence annoying other people than you?"
Entering CIC was a bad idea. Bad for John at least. Yeoman Kelly Chambers spoken her usual line about new messages when an unknown voice got her attention. She looked up and saw a man walking next to the Commander. A total contradiction. Thinner build, wearing a black fitted clothing and t-shirt with interesting image. Longer hair and cocky expression made him very approachable. Kelly smiled, grabbed her datapad and walked to the duo.
"Ah Kelly..." John knew that his Yeoman is gonna have an ephiphany at first and a depression later when she'll try examining Max, he was able to make shrink burst into tears since 8 years old. He sighed, "Kelly Chambers, meet Max Shepard. And yes that's my brother."
"Welcome Max, I'm Commander's Yeoman" She said cheerfully shaking Max's hand making mental note to ask Shepard about his brother.
"And I'm the handsome one of Shepards" Max gave a sheepish grin trying to look entirely innocent. John suppressed a groan. Kelly only laughed. And noted mentally both boldness and truth about this statement.
"You can play psychiatrist later, I gotta show him around" John pulled Max before Kelly will throw a fit. "Okay, talk to you later" She only said and rushed to type her obervations.
"Kelly is nice but exuberant and cheerful to the point of puke sometimes" John scowled. "Oh and she plays shrink so that's a package going on my nerves holding a tie with my XO"
"You know my record with any shrinks so that's not a problem, other thing is whether all girls here are hot like those I've seen. That's psychological warfare here bro" Max laughed.
"Well there's a few on the crew but it's off limits one way or the other" John warned his brother.
"Aw come on, I didn't mean it that way. Besides I'mma... kinda on a dive here"
"On what?"
"That buddy I've lost... well let's say that one late Ellie Montes was more than a buddy for me"
"I... Sorry to hear that" John felt bad for Max, despite his attitude he wasn't a ladies man and rarely got with girls any closer than platonic.
"Yeah...well that's life bro. And lost cause anyway so why so serious?" He ended with his favourite phrase snatched from some old vid.
After showing him decks and place to crash they went to Deck 3, John decided to go to Miranda and see if Queen had any complaints again. He mused how she was shocked when her perfectly trained sex appeal and bitchy attitude crashed and burned against harsh reality that despite her knowing everything from Shepards files, she knew nothing about him. And he was no saint or hero as portrayed by Alliance. And as for her looks, she spilled about herself been genetically designed to look stunning but...John ceased to like dolled up chicks and she was all-doll. Like a designer chair or more of a sofa with this extra padding... John chuckled and steered towards XO's office while seeing that Max enters portside observation where bar and recently Kasumi, resided. Wonder for what Max was looking there. With a sigh, Commander entered the frosty palace of an Ice Queen...
/.../
Max happily strutted into observation deck where supposedly a bar was. Kinda surprised him a bed and some personnal things on the other side of the room.
"Alright I'm either being misdirected or somebody lives in a bar..." Max caught a little optical distortion on a black leather couch. Infiltrators training kicked in. Max cleared his throat.
"Excuse me but are you the one to go to if a man is looking for a drink?" He asked glancing at the couch where air slightly vibrated. A crackle rang and slim girl in a hood appeared sitting on a couch.
"How do you know?" She chirped with smile hiding her surprise that somebody saw her. She was able to walk next to anybody here and they didn't knew better. Even Shep.
Max just laughed and snapped his fingers. Same second he disappeared in similar fashion as Kasumi showed up. An optical cloak.
"Takes one to know one" he said de-cloaking. "I think we weren't properly introduced. Max Shepard, at your service" Max did a little bow with his head with statutory cockiness on his face. Kasumi smiled wide. She already liked him.
"Kasumi Goto, its'a a pleasure. But little confusing since you and Shep share a name"
"Just call me Jester, it's well deserved."
"A Jester?"
"Yup. A Fool. Dancing and prancing in front of those who deem themselves untouchable, and when their heads roll or their fortunes are lost I'm the only one laughing" Max pulled harlequinn again.
"You're some kind of con artist?" Kasumi slightly moved on the couch."No" When voice spoke next to her she yelped. Max disappeared in front of the bar and appeared sitting next to her. She jumped to the side a bit.
"I worked for Alliance, veru hush-hush stuff" he winked and smiled. "I must admit I'm looking forward to work with other proffesional who can understand and appreciate a good..." his voice along with his body reappeared next to the painting hung on a wall. "...art"
Kasumi was impressed. Guy had mad skills in distracting and changing places. And he was cute.
"Fascinating piece..." He looked closely at the intricate palette of colors and shapes.
"That was painted for me specially by child prodigy from Elysium" Kasumi walked to him. "Some slavers kidnapped her but I managed to bust her out after pretending to be a buyer's rep. I loved wacthing her work".
"Miren Borr?" Max asked pointing at little symbol in the corner.
"Yeah, that was her name. How do you know that?" Okay, now Kasumi was intriqued. Brother of hardcore soldier like Shep, is a sneaky type and knows art? Yikes!
"Six months ago I was visiting Elysium, heard there was a break in and few pieces were stolen. Most valuable one was painted by Miren Borr, 12 years old. I'm no white knight but the pieces where really nice so I managed to get paintings back to the gallery. In return Miren 'painted my soul' " Max opened his omni-tool and showed a picture of painting. It depicted a silhouette of a man, painted in bright red and marked with white smudges, surrounded by blackness.
"Wow, that's intresting" Kasumi looked closer.
"Yeah, kinda like in opposition to what's really going on but...yeah" Max powered down his device. "Anyway thanks for the talk, nice knowing you Kasumi"
"Likewise...Jester" Kasumi purred last word. Max only smiled and walked out the door.
/.../
Miranda wasn't happy. As a matter of fact she would be shaking in anger if not her perfect mind and steel nerves. Shepard brought his brother on board, a man that was an Alliance liason at least. But the bastard had jammed all listening devices in the briefing room. She knew they called SSV Orizaba more specifically their mother, Captain Hannah Shepard, and she had audio and transcript of the whole conversation but then it all went blank. both hers and EDI's cameras and microphones were jammed with white noise. Then everything switches back. with Max saying that she will be pissed and calling her Shepard's 'secretary' . Miranda really would love to send this man to Cerberus for interrogation, maybe he would loose some of his arrogance. She hadn't noticed the doors opened.
"You have a minute Miranda?" Shepard's voice broke her musings.
"Of course, what can I do for you Commander?" Ice Queen mode on.
"Just wanted to straighten up few things, mostly whole ordeal with my brother" John sighed, and continued "I know him. At least from psychological standpoint. He's an anoying asshole but damn good tech, and he finished some specialized training. I have confirmation that he's no rookie so solid under fire. His loyalty is completely if any to me. As other operatives, 'cause lets face it, it's Commander Shepard recruiting these lunatics, not Cerberus. He's cut off from the Alliance so no spy game of your own will be going on here. And he will fall in line when I order so."
Miranda bit her lip. He was right. And even though long term plan was to steer Shepard into Cerberus, they have a mission now that was more urgent. She can play his game, because at the same time he is playing hers...
"Understood Commander, anything else?"
"Nothing if we're good. Except that we're going to Purgatory prison to pick up a biotic. Just so you know." John shrugged and walked out from this pit. When doors closed behind him he shivered. Damned Ice Queen...
Deciding to warm up his soul a little, he strolled into the Battery, Garrus would spare him a moments of his calibrating time. When doors opened the sight was...static. Garrus leaning over a console and tapping at it with patience and persistence of a masochist. John walked up and gave him a huge slap in the armor. Garrus made an unintelligible sound.
"Hey, Birdman, how's it going?" John chuckled, giving other people annoying nicknames was something that both brothers shared.
"Was pretty good but some human interrupted" Garrus was doing his best to sound grumpy. He failed. "What's brings you to my oasis?"
"Maybe wanted to learn something about calibrations?" John was in way better mood now than few hours before. "Or maybe teach you a little about it?"
"Like that time when you was about to show me that 'cool trick with the shotgun that Tali does' ? When it blew up your face and made Liara giggle? Garrus recalled that incident with deep amusement.
"Touche" John snorted. "I almost got it then and I can fully do it now, effects are quite spectacular." He was surprised with the force and carnage what a charged shot from shotgun could do the YMIR mech on Freedom's Progress. "KInda miss Tali though, too bad she didn't joined up back then" His mind went back to the image of quarian mechanic that was so awkward and sweetly stammering whenever he talked to her. And yet she was reliable as all hell even in the worst bad she didn't joined up on Freedom's Progress.
"I thought you'll miss Liara more" Garrus chuckled. That was a sore spot for John. His asari lover haunted his dream for some time, he couldn't fit bookish and silent archeologist who had terrible social skills, with working for the Shadow Broker - a shady figure trading in information of any kind. Either Illusive Man was simply setting him up or Liara T'Soni changed in a ways he couldn't imagine.
"Yeah, She's..." His voiced trailed off. "When I asked about her, Illusive Man told me she works for the Shadow Broker"
Garrus flared his mandibles slightly, "Our little Liara? Awkward Liara who wanted to get your attention talking like she wanted to dissect you and then turning all shades of blue from embarrasement? Spirits if that's not a lie..."
"Exactly" John finished still in thought.
"I'll tell you what, when on spare time, we should find her, you know, to say hi from me and maybe something more from you" Garrus chuckled.
"Not touching the subject, Garrus" John raised his hands surrendering.
"Oh come on, you're not gonna 'embrace eternity'?" turian wasn't budging.
"Keep it up and you'll need another prostesis. For other side of your ugly face" Shepard laughed along with Garrus. "Alright Wingman, keep playing with your cannon"
"That's what she told you?" was a reply John heard leaving.
After talking to few others he set a timer to wake him up 3 hours before reaching destination, and after feeding fish and hamster, he went to sleep.