Love is stronger than hate

by Linneagb

Sophia and Sophie, sisters and friends forever. That was how it was supposed to be. But destiny had other plans for us. I now live with a bunch of people, in some sort of home called the dumping ground, and I don't know if I can make it without my sister.

49. Love is stronger than hate

THERE'S A TUMBLR PUT UP FOR THIS STORY AND THE WHEN- SERIES WITH PICTURES OF THE CELBERITY- LOOK- ALIKE'S. YOU CAN FIND THE LINK ON MY PROFILE.

So, here comes the chapter that I can tell for certain will be the very last. Wow… this feels so weird. And it's so much yet so very little that I'll have to put in this chapter, which has to be put in this chapter…. Wow! I never thought it would feel like… like this.

Well, before you read this chapter I'd like to say something. Here it comes out why the war in Gota started in the first place and I just wanted to make clear that I'm no expert when it comes to war, but when I was planning it I was asking the social- studies- teacher I had then one question after the other to make clear for the story and for myself if the plan I had would work or not. But after all- one thing that is important is too that I am not a racist. I don't care if you are white, black, Asian, brown, red, green or purple. But sometimes you just have to write those things anyway to make it suit the storylines. So? Thank you for understanding and any further questions just ask and I'll do my best to answer.

Well, second of all. I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you to each and every one of you who has been there from the very beginning, and to each and every one of you who popped up along the way. And… Thank you all for sticking with me, and sticking with Sophia, and for not hating me with all of my worse cliffhangers. I could never put in words how much each and every one of you mean to me so thank you so much.

During the morning I and Luce placed ourselves in one of the sofas in the day room. Also this day turned out to be rainy and quite cold, so everyone were either by the pool or in here playing games, watching TV or whatever they felt like doing. While I and Luce sat in each part of the sofa- I with my feet up and leaning against the arm support, and Luce sitting like… well I think more like you were supposed to sit in a sofa and his head turned to me. And we talked, and we talked, and we talked.

I don't think I have ever talked so much for so long with a person before, we just never seemed to run out of things to talk about. One minute we were talking about something that happened back in Gota to the next talking about something that might be going on in the future, and so we were joined by yet one person yet the other, until at last all of us were sitting in that group of sofas, and the ones talking were mostly me and Luce.

"Sophia…" Luce suddenly exclaimed. "Do you remember how all of everyone we knew would make fun of our names? And say that if mum and dad would ever have one more child and not have twins again they would have to name it…"

"Lusoar" I ended the sentence and chuckled. "What a terrible name!"

"Why would they say that?" Carmen asked kind of confused. I and Luce looked to each other and I nodded towards him. He started and then we said every other name.

"Because in our family at its biggest it was Areen…"

"...Aaron"

"…Luce..."

"…Luca…"

"…Sophie…"

"…And Sophia."

"That is so weird!" Carmen laid her chin down towards her hand on the arm support. "So…. Your parents had like no imagination at all when it came to names." I couldn't help but laugh- I had never really looked at it that way. But no! I guessed they hadn't!

"Hey guys." Mike suddenly came into the room. "So… Luce, George. I need to go back to the dumping ground and get some things and I was hoping you two could come with me as I really need to talk to you. I've gotten to borrow a car from Elizabeth's so I'll be leaving like… right now." Luce looked at me and I nodded, George was already on his feet and followed Mike and they were followed by Luce.

Suddenly I felt someone tapping my shoulder and Faiz pointed with his whole hand towards Alvaro who was hanging after Jody with a silly grin on his face. He- who usually cared a lot for his looks looked a bit sloppy with one sleeve of his dark- blue, star- printed hoodie pulled up and the other one pulled down, his jeans hanging down a bit too far down and his dark hair standing right up. It wasn't hard to guess what was going on even before Faiz leaned closer to me and almost whispered in my ear.

"I think he's over Carmen. Or what do you say?"

Mike POV

"So. The good thing about this car, there are two passenger seats in the front. But it doesn't have a back seat but anyway. You'll just have to get in. I need to talk to you both." George climbed up and took the middle seat. And Luce climbed up after him, both of them seemed kind of distressed when I told them I needed a word. "Don't worry. You've done nothing wrong."

I got into the driver's seat and turned the key. Then drove almost half the way in silence and none of us said anything until we had been driving more than half the way and I decided on positive on making up my mind to say the things I had been thinking about.

"Luce…" I stated at first. "Tonight… Believe me, I didn't want to tell you and your sister that you couldn't share a room but I had to because of the rules. And… Don't worry, I'm not angry or anything but it's not hard to guess why we later during the morning found you two together. Sophia's been having nightmares on and off since she came here. And now I want you to answer me the truth, only yes or no- Luce, do you get those flashbacks and nightmares too?"

It was silent for a while and I could only see Luce in the corner of my eye. Then, after for sure thirty seconds of only silence I could see him bob his head up and down.

"Yes."

"Okay… Now… I have been talking to George earlier and as you may know George have got big parts of the education that makes a psychiatrist and have already before been helping Sophia and the others. George have already told me that he's up for it and at least a couple of times you Luce, Sophia and George are going to have a meeting and George is going to help you with these flashbacks and nightmares okay?"

"Okay. But sir-s. I really don't want to be a burd…" I couldn't help but chuckle. "What?"

"You and your sister are just so much alike at some points. And you're not a burden. Second, George. You can say no if you want to. But I've seen you with the kids and you've got a good hand with them. So I'm going to give you an offer… we need at least one new care worker, so I'd like you to try and be a trainee for a while. And then if you like it and I like it, then I will help you to get a loan to take the studies that you need."

"Oh Mike." George didn't seem too say and had a weird look in his eyes as if he was on his way to start crying while he held his hand pulled into his dark thatch. "I… Yes, yes, yes. God yes. I would hug you if you weren't driving but… God it's like you must have read my thoughts. I promise… I promise that I will do my very best and I am so, very honored for this opportunity. Thank you Mike. Thank you."

"No need to thank me George. We need a new trainee and it's for the best if it's someone the children know and get along with. Now, Luce… When I heard about you from the start I promised myself one thing. And that one thing was that if you against all odds made your whole way here then I would do what I could to make your life safe and the most it could be. So- I know that you know you're going to have to fill up a whole lot of papers and whatever else to get a whatever so you can actually stay here. Then… when you're here legally. If you want you can too become a trainee at the dumping ground. And if you like it and I like it, then I'll do what I can for you too to be able to take studies to become a real care worker or social worker. Or whatever you want to do. So what do you say Luce?"

"I…" Luce too grabbed his fringe not too sure about what to say. "I…. Whoa I. Yes. You've got a yes from me too. Thank you sir. Thank you… I'm not going to let you down."

"But!" I held up my hand to silent him. "It is on a few conditions for you Luc. One- you're going to need to be here legally before I can give you the job. Otherwise I might lose my job about it. Second, don't call me sir. It's Mike- nothing more, nothing less- just Mike. And third. If you're going to get a job at the dumping ground Sophia cannot be living there anymore. It's one of the most important rules and breaking it and Elm Tree House would be history. You might have heard that Faiz might be taking Sophia in… But I doubt that Sophia would neither want to live with him or live at the dumping ground if you lived somewhere else. But before you start- she needs to have moved out from Elm Tree House. Okay?"

"Okay… Mike." Luce smiled slightly and seemed slightly touched, and for the closest while he turned his head and looked out the window for a few minutes. George patted his shoulder. "You know that… I don't know why I'm telling you this but. I'm so happy I'm here after all this time. After- all. There is nowhere I'd rather be than with Sophia. And… it's been so long and so dangerous. I just wanted to say thank you… Thank you both for… being there for Soph when I couldn't."

Luce was still looking out the window. And I just couldn't help but to once again think about something that I had been wondering about ever since Sophia came to the dumping ground and we heard about Gota and the war and everything else that had harmed Sophia, Luce and so many others so bad.

"Luce. There's something I've been wondering about." I wasn't so sure this was the best time to ask this but I had started before I had the time to think about it. "We've asked Sophia but she doesn't know, and I asked Faiz but he always has an excuse not to answer. So now I'm asking you, do you know what it was that the war in Gota started?"

"Yes."

"Would you feel alright with…" I hadn't finished the sentence.

"Yes. There are two groups of people in Gota. One group of which are around two thirds of the population are these- typical Asians as you probably know the brown skin, cheekbones, it all. While the last third look more like Sophia and I. Still dark- haired and brown eyed but… white. And the thing is that the white people have much better opportunities than the others. Also most of the government are white, all of them actually. And so these two thirds started getting tired of it and tried to fight to get the same rights as the white. And the government were racist and then started preventing it from happening- killing more and more people with brown skin. And so it got worse and worse and then people started fighting and it ended with not only war but also genocide."

The car fell silent, Luce had explained what there was to describe and neither I nor George knew how to respond to it. Luce was silent for another while and- even though he probably didn't know but it was when I turned into the blocks that Elm Tree House belonged to that he spoke again. And I had never heard anyone speaking in the troubled tone as he was.

"I've seen things that you two couldn't imagine. I live in fear that the men who would kill me on spot if I as much as thought about going back to Gota will find and kill me here. I have helped cleaning after bombs have hit, pulled corpses of my friends and family of the street. I've seen corpses of three young kids and one adult man after they had been pressed down into a fire and then killed, but not until after the fire had just as well melted as burned their skin away. I've seen things. But being here is my chance to start over from the beginning and start a new life. Me, Sophia and you and whoever else who should be a part of it. But I don't live without the knowledge that people I loved the most have died because of me. Because of that I felt I needed to help and the only thought that keeps me going is knowing that I have anything at all to live for. I'm trying to head forward more than wondering about the past and what could have been. So I would appreciate not to get too many questions about what happened there and then. You can ask if you feel like you have to know. But I won't always be able to answer. Alright?"

"That's okay Luc." George patted Luce's shoulder. "You'll have to forgive us if we ask the wrong questions alright." Luce nodded- I wasn't sure about where I got it from but I got vibes that he wasn't a person who would stay angry or sad at anyone. "By the way Luce…" We all three stepped out of the car and walked up to the dumping ground. "How did you find us at Manor Hall House?"

Luce stopped and reached down his back pocket, pulled up a paper I recognized as a flyer from Manor Hall and held it up. "I had the address to Elm Tree House so I went here. And then I walked around and tried to find any clue to where everyone might be. This laid on the kitchen bench and it has the address in it so… I thought that I might as well give it a try."

"On the kitchen bench you say?"

"Yes. Why?"

"It must have been the one Sophia forgot. We gave some flyers to the kids and we brought all of them with us… except one. Which Sophia forgot on the kitchen bench." I bit my lip.

"So what you're saying is that… If my sister hadn't forgotten this paper on the kitchen bench. I could have been getting here. I would have no idea where you guys were and I would probably have gone out and looked for you and God knows if we would have ever found each other then." Luce sniveled. "Oh, God…"

"Sometimes it just seems like everything's meant to be. And I guess it was meant to be that you would find Sophia again. You know… Siblings do have a way with finding each other even though they've never met before." Luce smiled and nodded, but I could see he wasn't too sure his voice would hold, as he silently folded the flyer and put it back in his pocket.

"Since… If you've got nothing against it George. Maybe we should fill up the papers and things here and now so you will be my trainee right away? Nothing against it? Then come on. Let's go into the office. You alright there Luc?" Luce didn't look at me, but nodded and I walked before George into the office.

Sophia POV

I sat in the living room on Manor Hall House the whole time that Luce, Mike and George were away. I would probably rather have come with them only to hang onto my brother. To hold onto him only to be a hundred percent sure that he was there and that he wasn't just a dream.

Instead I sat on the floor with a block of papers on my legs and pencil in my hand. I wasn't drawing anything in particular so the top paper had gone into a mess of hearts and people and god knows everything else, everything badly drawn and half- finished. But that didn't keep me from being completely concentrated on what I was doing and I barely noticed there was someone else in the room until one of them people in the room stumbled over my feet.

"Sorry."

"Sorry."

I and Michael who had tripped over my feet apologized at the exact same time. And with that it wouldn't have been anything more (Even if Michael didn't like me) If I hadn't seen Molli standing on the other side of the room glaring at me as if I had been tripping Michael on purpose and suddenly I just knew that I needed to speak to her.

"Molli." I almost shouted, a bit too loud, because I didn't notice but everyone had turned their heads to look at me. By now everyone knew that Molli wasn't talking to me and if there was something that amused every resident of the dumping ground it was fighting and discussions between people who were usually fighting to see where it would lead.

Molli stopped and turned towards me. As she always had been since Johnny said that I had said those things about Michael, she was glaring at me. And she continued doing so all the time while she finally came over to me and crossed her arms over her chest while I put my pencil down and moved my legs to sit Indian style.

"What?"

"Molli I…" I had to make a breathing pause to count out what to say. "Look! What Johnny said that I had said it wasn't what I meant. I never hated Michael, I never did before and I never will do. I never hated you, I never did before and I never will do. Because you're my friend and that's why I cared for you- because I wanted to. And I was angry with Michael because I hated what he did to you after seeing you so sad. And also, I hated that he left you because I knew how I felt when my brother left us and I didn't want you to be put through that. But I tried hating my brother for it, mostly to blame someone and it was easier than hating myself. It was easier than trying to hate my own brother because I just loved him so damn much all the time! But in all of it I lost you, and I never wanted to lose you because you were my friend. And I want you to still be my friend."

Molli didn't say anything, but the cold glare was gone and replaced by a look that was kind of puppy- eyes- ish. But she still didn't answer and I stood up and turned to Michael, maybe if I spoke to him and talked him into not being angry with me anymore. Then Molli would follow his example and at least I had an idea for what to say to Michael.

"Junior, I…. Look! I'm sorry that I couldn't just… let go of what I didn't know anything about and be nice and kind and everything to you but… I think a part of why I would hate you was the same thing as I just told Molli. I tried hating my brother because he left, but I couldn't so instead I hated you because you left because hating you was a thousand times easier than hating myself or hating Luce so… I'm sorry." Michael didn't react at first, so he pulled his hand out of his pocket and reached it forward so I could shake it.

I didn't say a word to him while I shook his hand and neither to Molli when I kneeled to reach her height and she looked up at Junior, who nodded and then she shook my hand she too. Actually, no one said anything until I had stood up and picked up my papers and pencils again and pushed them down in my pocket when I suddenly noticed the weird look on everybody's faces.

"What? What is it?"

"Sophia…" Junior started and scratched the back of his head. "Your brother just heard every word you said about trying to hate him and all of that." My stomach clenched. And turning around to find my brother frowning and with a look in his eyes that I couldn't quite place I could have beat myself up a million times.

"Come on guys. We'll leave these two alone." Mike stood behind Luce and he and George started showing everybody out of the room while I tried to come up with something to say, then I felt someone tugging my shirt and looked down to see Shawn who seemed to want to say something in my ear so I bent down so he could whisper.

"I tried hating my mum too. A while I thought about only that her name was Ursula and I hated that name to be able to hate her. But then I realized I couldn't because she was still my family. So you are not the only one, you are not alone Sophia." I nodded to show I understood and raised again while Shawn left the room along with Mike and I looked up at Luce.

"I didn't want to hate you Luc." I said first, only brainstorming for what to say and saying whatever was coming to mind. "But I hated myself, and hating you was easier than hating you and didn't take as much energy. But I couldn't hate you… Do you remember what we used to say… You can love the one you used to hate but you could never hate the one you loved because love is…."

"Love is stronger than hate." Luce continued, he knew it too, and so he reached his hands forward and embraced me and pulled me close. "Look, Soph! I know exactly what you were doing. I did it too. I have tried hating you too but I loved you all along. It's nothing to be ashamed for…" Luce bent down a bit to slightly touch my hair with his hair. "I love you Sophia. I love you so much I'd give up anything for you to be happy. And there is nothing that could make me love you less. Even if you gave me a reason to hate you, one after the other love is always stronger than hate. And I know you know that." Luce clenched his fist and reached it forward towards me. "Love is stronger than hate!" I did the same with my hand and slightly hit his with mine.

"Love is stronger than hate."

This time I was reading it out loud from a photo that Luce held. It was late at night, only a few minutes before midnight and we stood down by the beach. It had taken us a while to get here, even with the bus. But it was totally worth the view, as long as you could see it was only water, it was dark outside but for the first time in days it had stopped raining and the moon and the stars were shining bright and reflecting in the still water.

The rest of the dumping ground's residents and staff had stopped a bit further away, and I and Luce stood at the very front on the wooden bridge. Luce had pulled that old photo, that had been a part of the front page of an old (very secret) magazine back in Gota.

On the picture stood I and Sophie, with big smiles on our faces and holding a big white sheet of paper and with Luce standing behind us with his arms around each of our shoulders. There was big text on the paper and it read what we had told ourselves since mum and Aaron had been killed by that bomb. Even though it was hard to live after that in a place full of war and hate we had kept on telling ourselves that, and in the paper that day reached out to the whole country.

"Love is stronger than hate." Luce read out loud from the text on the big sheet of paper we held too. "You know, when I was trying to make my way through China and Russia and Finland and Sweden and Denmark and Germany and Belgium and France and here. When it got hard and I just wanted to lie down and die somewhere I would pull it out of my pocket and promise myself that no matter what I would see you smile like that again. I promised myself I would find you no matter what. And so I continued. And I've never been so happy as when I finally held you in my arms again. But of course… you and I are the only ones left." Luce was holding onto a small carton and now pulled out a urn that it wasn't hard to guess what was in it from it. "I think that… we'll do best in… for both them and for us… to just let go. Are you ready?" He lifted the lid of the urn and put his hands on either side of the urn. Somehow I understood and put my hands on the two other sides.

"Okay… Are you sure? Okay… One… Two…. Three." On three I and Luce reached the urn down together, and then threw it up so the ashes of our very much beloved family members flew out of the urn. We had to turn it more and more upside down to get everything out of it. But at last all of the ashes, everything that was left of our parents, our little brother and little sister (Sophie was twenty minutes younger than me) it was in the water.

It was all silent for a couple of minutes, and so Luce pulled up all of the bracelets that had belonged to us and mum, dad, Aaron and Sophie. There were twelve bracelets of a total, six with names, and six with crosses. Luce had already told me what we should do with first and I had given my 'okay' and so Luce took Aaron's cross bracelet, reached his arm far back. And threw it as long away as he could. I was next and took mum's with a cross. I couldn't throw half as long as Luce, but it did land in the cold waves in the reflection of the moonlight, and Luce took the next.

"This is the last one." My voice was breaking when I held dad's name- bracelet. So Luce took my hand in his, and so we together reached our arms back and threw it into the water. And just as the bracelet hit the water I was hit, almost pushed of my feet by a sudden, weird feeling. Almost relief but- so much stronger!

"Luce…" I panted and turned to him. He nodded with tears shining in his brown eyes, and his hand almost shaking.

"I know… I can feel it too."

It went silent again, and I and Luce stepped to the side so one after one, the others could step to the front of the bridge and kneel and drop a red rose into the water. The ashes were sinking more and more, and as Ivy dropped the last one after Mike promised her another rose if she dropped this one, it was all gone.

"Sophia I…" Luce stated and pulled out a box of his pocket. "I… In Sweden I met a very nice lady who gave me two bracelets and some money to be able to buy some food. I told her my whole story and where I was going, and she gave me this. Because I said I liked red, and she knew that with everything I needed courage." Luce opened the first box and pulled out a red, braided bracelet with some metal letters reading 'courage' "And I told her about her… and I told her that my goal was to get to you before September the second and what day it would be so… happy birthday Sophia."

I glared at Luce, I had never been much for birthdays- the very least my own. Even less now without Sophie gone. But still I took the box and opened it to another braided bracelet, mine was purple and read 'hope'

"T- Today's your birthday?" Mike stuttered confused and I nodded. "Wh- why…"

"LOOK!" Ivy suddenly shouted and we all turned to where she pointed. From where we were standing on the wooden bridge we could see four doves, two big and two smaller and all white. They were flying together towards the moonlight, and so got smaller and smaller, until they at last disappeared.

"I think it was them." I mumbled. "It's got to be them."

"Of course it's them. They still care about us and wants to see how we're doing. And now they know we're doing good and that they can leave." Luce hugged me with one arm. "But they'll still be there whenever we need them. In here." Luce laid his hand on top of my head. "And in here." He laid his hand on my chest, right over my heart. "…Forever. And also in every single poem that Sophie wrote and in every single dance step Aaron took…" Luce's voice was shaky, but becoming more and more steady for every word. "And there… do you remember the poem Sophie wrote for love is stronger than hate? The one we could never find where she'd put the paper?" I nodded. "I found it." He pulled out a folded paper from his paper and unfolded it. "It's… kind of beautiful." I nodded… and so I hugged my brother and read it I too, before I turned to the others again.

I and Luce would move in with Faiz, Magdolna and Alvaro until Luce had everything sorted out to get to stay here. And he would get to stay here, we would all make sure he would. And Mike knew somebody…

Shawn wasn't suffering from anything from accidentally hanging himself, Joe was comfortable with who he was and was getting one comment after the other on Facebook about how brave he was just writing it out like that. And more importantly- he had found the one he loved. Even Stan was well… kind of comfortable with seeing his twin brother kissing a guy.

It was hard to believe I had come to meet these only in the beginning of the summer. It felt so long ago. The summer had been filled with so many changes, so many events, so much sorrow and anger but at the same time so much happiness and hope. I had hated myself, hated my family, hated everyone and everybody.

But I had been able to let go of my hate. For the reason that my twin sister, whom I still loved so very much had written about in her poem. And so where I stood in the light of the moonlight and the stars ('cough, cough' Mike's cellphone) I turned my head down and read the poem once again with a smile on my face, and more love than ever before in my heart while I felt my brother's hand around mine, and knew that I held him and he held me. There was nothing that could have us let go.

Love is stronger than hate

The world can be a funny place
But sometimes not so funny at all
When everything is piling up
And no one there to catch you as you fall

It feels like everybody's angry
Because you've done too many wrong
That fate make sure everything's going badly
Something doesn't want you to be able to be strong

It feels like you can only be sad
Like you'll never be happy again
That the whole world is an endless tunnel
Life is nothing but an endless pain

It feels like no one can love you
That you have let everybody down
And you can't help to feel like it's your fault
When you see anybody frown

But

Forgiveness is stronger than anger
Choices you make are stronger than fate
Happiness is stronger than sadness
And love is stronger than hate

So that's it. Wow it feels weird… I mean…. Wow! Another time I just want to thank you all for being with me on this journey. I love you all, I could never have done this without each and everyone of you so, Thank you. Thank you all so much

Oh and in a while there'll come up a sequel for this. It will mostly be a sequel to when life changes and when the past catches up but Luce, George and Shawn will be in it and Sophia might too make an appearance a bit here and there. It will be called "When I returned" And if you just keep your eyes open you should see it pop up within a few days only if we're lucky.

-Linnéa