Chapter 20 - Coming out

"What..." I began, not believing my eyes.

"You didn't really think I'd miss your premiere did you?" He blushed with a lopsided grin and shy sparkling eyes.

"But I thought..." My mouth fell agape.

Was he actually here?

Why was he here?

He motioned with his head to the lit flame, so I pulled back a long draw to light my Marlborough light. He lit his own and exhaled it into the night air.

God, why was that so hot?

I swear he was wearing Dior cologne.

"I'm sorry..." I said sadly, wanting to take back all we had said.

"What? What are you sorry for? I was the one that threw a fit and stormed out." He looked dapper in his charcoal designer suit, white shirt and lilac tie. He shoved his free hand in his trouser pocket rucking up his suit jacket.

Was it wrong to totally be imagining him stood there in the buff? Nooo. Didn't everyone?

Shaking my head to rid myself of the image I replied. "I knew all this was coming, I should never have started anything. It was unfair to you, to both of us."

He screwed up his face like he was in pain. "OK. Can I just get this out there, cos it's eating me up? You look absolutely fucking stunning in that dress!"

He quickly drew again on his cigarette.

I laughed aloud not expecting him to say that. "Why thank you? And you Mr Perdy are wearing an extremely sexy suit." I played with his collar.

Did he just hitch his breath? I think he did.

"Don't..." He pulled away slightly and looked to the floor shaking his head.

Oh. Maybe I was wrong then.

"Oh, right. Sorry." This was so hard. I just wanted to strip him naked and fuck his brains out against the metal dumpsters beside us. Had I got my hopes up? He smelt so delicious.

Why was he here then?

He shook his head again and moved uneasily from one foot to another kicking the dirt.

"Why are you here Marcus?" I sighed softly.

"To see you." He replied just as soft looking up to me.

"But you just said...I'm confused?" I winced and drew on my ciggie, stubbed it out on the wall and tossed it away.

"I meant, don't tease me. I can't...be friends...it just wouldn't work." He stuttered to get it out. "Shit! This is so hard!" He began that sorrowful wince again. "It's really hard to concentrate on talking when you are standing there looking that fuckable!" He sucked on the end of his cigarette and flicked it away before exhaling.

I chose to ignore his last statement. "You aren't talking sense Marcus. You say I'm looking hot, then say don't touch you. Then you say I'm fuckable. It should be simple, you either want me or you don't?" Taking a breath I watched as he remained silent.

I continued regardless. "So what are you doing here? If we can't be lovers and we can't be friends, what are you here for? An autograph?" I still didn't get it and I was beginning to feel irritated.

He stuck the other hand into his other pocket too. "I said I didn't want to be friends, I didn't say I didn't want to be your lover!"

Wait! What?

"Hhh" I exhaled a sharp quick breath and tears started welling in my eyes.

Was I hearing correctly?

"Pardon? Can you say that again please?"

He took a shy step forward and withdrew his right hand from his pocket and held it against my face. "I know I have nothing to give you, and this won't be at all easy, but I can't live without you Jen...I love you."

What?!

Did he just say he loved me? My hearing was definitely playing up.

I blinked to clear my vision of the salty tears stinging my eyes, letting them spill over my mascara.

Thank god it was waterproof.

"What?" I had to hear it again and I felt myself begin to shake.

Was it the cold or was it shock?

He took another step closer still, close enough to feel him against me. Taking his other hand from his pocket he placed it on my other cheek and wiped away both my tear streams with his thumbs. Tilting up my face to look me in the eye, he repeated his words.

"I said I love you."

"Marcus ...I..." I'd suddenly forgotten how to talk.

Tell him you love him too you stupid woman!

"Shh! Don't speak and please don't cry. I don't need to hear it back; I just want you to know that I love you. I have since the pre-show party. It's you Jen. It's always been you."

My knees buckled slightly, I felt weak. He whipped a strong arm around my waist and supported my weight. I opened my eyes I didn't know I'd closed. He was there smiling at me, holding me up.

Feeling the need to answer. I slowly lent in and touched my lips on his. I saw him screw up his eyes, like in pain again, so I pulled back.

He spoke softly. "Please, please don't tell me that was a goodbye kiss?"

What the...? Hell no!

I shook my head still in shock. He let out a held breath, which made me smile. He was just as nervous as me.

"I don't know how this will work, but I can't stand being away from you. I've been a mess since I walked out, the guys wanted to know why I looked so miserable. I've even turned down work. I can't concentrate; my heart aches and I don't know how to cope without you. I love you Jen Austen."

Realizing I needed to tell him I felt the same, I wanted him too, I loved him. I opened my mouth to say it back. "I..."

Marcus shook his head and slid his hand lower onto my ass. "Don't feel you have to say it. I don't care. Just gimmie a chance, I promise I won't fail you..."

It was my turn to silence him. "I love you Marcus. I don't want anything, but you! I know this has happened so fast, but I've fancied you since the moment I caught sight of you at the O2. I made myself look like such a dick, because you made me so nervous. I know it won't be easy; I'm not stupid, but I'm damn well gonna do my best to make it work. I swear."

A big grin spread across his face and he pulled me in tighter, gently squeezing my ass through my dress. The look of pure lust flickered in his eyes as he pulled hard me against his growing bulge and rubbed himself to me slightly to gain some relief.

"Wait! Not here." I placed my finger on his lips to stop him making me look like a clown at my movie premiere.

"Jen, please, I can't I...want you so bad." He ducked his head down to kiss my bare neck pushing me back against the wall.

Shit! My eyes rolled.

"Marcus!" I breathed hard as he held me still by my neck whilst he trailed small kisses over my chest. I was ready to come on the spot. His hands grappled with the layers of my skirt to get beneath it.

Think where you are Jen!

With sadness and regret I had to push him off, leaving me smiling and panting.

"There's no press around here. You smell so good! I need to feel you, are you wet?" He said moving close again and whispering into my ear.

"There are press just around the corner Marcus; I really don't want my ass pictured in the paper fucking Marcus Perdy beside a dumpster at my premiere! It's not how I promote Gucci!" I giggled as he sucked on my neck.

"Jen?" A male voice called out.

Shit! It was Trent.

"Marcus stop!" I whispered wriggling free, smoothing down my dress.

"Yes!" I called back smacking Marcus' hand off my ass.

He came into view. "Oh! I was ...just...checking you were OK?"

"Urm! Yes. I'm fine! Trent James. This is Marcus Perdy. Marcus this is my manager Trent." I gestured between them.

"Hi!" Marcus grinned and held out his hand to Trent, the same hand he had just been groping me with.

"Where have I heard that name before?" Trent knitted his eyebrows trying to recall.

"Marcus is in a British Band called Trenchcoat." I offered.

"Yes! Yes, that's it. Nice to meet you Mr Perdy." Trent flashed me a look as he shook Marcus' hand to check I was OK and not being heckled.

I smiled and nodded indicating I was fine. Our unsaid bond was impeccable.

"Please call me Marcus." Marcus beamed. "I've heard a lot about you Trent."

"Have you? I wish I could say the same?" Trent gave me a knowing look.

"I'll explain it all soon Trent. I promise." I said shyly as Marcus shoved both his hands back into his pockets.

"OK, your car is waiting by the first barrier Jen. Can I escort you there?" Trent turned and pointed towards the direction of the car.

"I can, err... I mean, I'll make sure she gets to it OK, if you want?" Marcus smiled at both me and Trent.

"Oh, if that's all right with Jen?" Trent looked at me for confirmation, offering me a way out if I needed it.

"Yes that's fine. I'll speak to you tomorrow Trent. You get off home." I said giving him a hug.

"OK, nice to meet you again Marcus. Jen, you did great this evening. Awesome job." He lightly touched my arm "Night!" He said turning and leaving.

"Night Trent."

Marcus and I exchanged looks and burst out laughing once Trent was out of earshot.

"There could have been better way for you to meet my manager." I sniggered.

"Oh well, it's done now!" He cocked out his elbow for me to take. "Can I escort you to your ridiculously expensive car Ms Austen? Before I fuck you here and now, press or no fucking press?"

"Why thank you Mr Perdy, how kind?" I bowed slightly and slipped my arm through his.

"Ready?" He grinned knowing full well this was going to be the scoop all the papers wanted.

I nodded with a smile. "Ready."

"Oh by the way." He said as we began to stroll slowly towards the car.

"What?" I replied looking around to see if any press where still milling about waiting for my departure.

"I saw you flirting with Tim Ford during the photos"

"I was not!" I flashed him a looked, but I could see he was teasing.

"Hmm." He hummed.

"He said I looked nice and I thanked him." I said truthfully.

"Well!" He said grinning, flashing his teeth. "He can flirt all he likes, cos I'm the one who will be making you scream my name tonight." We were now in full view of the remaining guests and press so he knew I couldn't react.

"You bet your ass I will be." I said through my smile as cameras flashed in the darkness as we walked.

He chuckled at my response.

"Looks like she's with someone." I heard someone say as we approached the limo.

"Hey, who's he?" Another voice said.

I didn't want to hide him no more, I loved him and he loved me. This was exactly what I wanted.

Some press surged forward to be met by the huge security team. Marcus' hand instinctively slipped around my waist to keep me safe. I shot him a small glance and he scowled a bit, feeling protective over me.

"Who's your gentleman friend Jen?" One of the Paps called out.

"Who are you?" They called to Marcus. He coped brilliantly and just smiled at them.

Marcus opened my limo door and held my hand to help me in. I slid inside and he scootched in beside me slamming the door shut.

"Fucking hell!" Tasha swore seeing Marcus slide in beside me. Sam flapped his hand against her arm to shut her up but looked flabbergasted.

Marcus just grinned at them shyly showing his teeth again. The limo finally pulled away. I pushed a button that brought up a blackened screen between us and Steve, my driver.

"Aren't you...?" Sam said with wide eyes and a flapping chin.

"Sam this is Marcus Perdy. Marcus this is Tasha's fiancé Sam Taylor." I introduced them.

"Shit me!" Sam tittered reaching out to shake Marcus' out-stretched hand.

"Nice to meet you Sam." Marcus said politely.

"Marcus, you've already met Tasha Barrett." I said grinning, remembering the last time he'd seen Tasha. Unconscious.

"Yes! Nice to see you again Tasha." Tasha held out her hand and Marcus kissed it gently.

"Well! I don't know what to say, Jen?" Tasha garbled.

"Wow someones actually rendered her speechless!" Chuckled Sam.

"It happens a lot!" Marcus replied then turned to face me. "That felt good." referring to the fact we were now out. He loosened his tie; I could tell he wasn't in his comfortable dress zone.

"You can take it off if you want to." I pointed to his tie.

Tasha let out a loud snort.

"Tash! Behave!" I wagged a finger at her immaturity, inwardly regretting not getting separate cars back to the hotel.

A/N: Altogether ... Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

I was a no brainer. He was Jen's All along xx

I made Twihard till I die's day anyway, so that's good. xx Was a pleasure hun x

Still waiting for some reviews xx

DeathToBeReborn. xx