She had greeted him at the door, wrapped in a beautiful blue-green rinzu kimono. The deep purple obi and accents emphasized the deep brown color of her eyes. Her eyeshadow picked up the theme; deep plum shimmered on her eyelids.

She had been beautiful. Breathtaking, even. But she would have been beautiful if all she had to wear were old rags.

"I hope you have come hungry, Hamato-san," she had said playfully.

Splinter bowed. "I have."

She laughed – a musical laugh that nearly took his breath away. How had he grown up alongside this woman and never noticed it before?

"That is very unfortunate, because all there is to eat is the food that I have prepared. You may be disappointed."

"No. It will be delicious, I am sure."

"Tell this to my mother, who has been hovering over my shoulder all afternoon, criticizing my every move. Come inside."

Splinter smiled. He removed his shoes and followed her inside.

Her house – or her parent's house, since she still lived with them, was simply furnished. He was tremendously nervous, since he had yet to meet them. "Where are your parents?"

She giggled. "Oh, I convinced them to go out for dinner tonight, so that they would not have to eat my horrible cooking."

Splinter raised his eyebrows. "Do they know that I am here, at least?"

She laughed even harder. "No. No, they do not. It's good that you are a fighter, considering what my father would say if he knew I had brought you here."

"I am not sure if this is such a good idea. I do not want to dishonor your father by coming to his house without his consent."

"Let me worry about my father, Hamato-san."

"Tang Shen, we've known other for how long? Please, call me Yoshi."

Shen had beamed. "Of course, Yoshi. And you of course, must call me Shen."

Splinter remembered nearly every detail of that night, the night that had marked the beginning of their courtship. He remembered the way that Shen smelled like cherry blossoms on the spring breeze, the way that her body swayed so gracefully as she brought food to the table, the look of longing in her eyes as they said goodnight.

So when Mei drew back the blinds to her apartment window dressed beautifully in a formal dark green kimono, Splinter's heart almost stopped.

The situation was completely different. The color of the kimono was different, too – more evergreen than blue, and sash was beige instead of purple.

But Mei's features were so similar to Shen's – in particular, her smile – that for a split second, Splinter felt like he was looking at a ghost from his past.

The spell was broken the moment she spoke – her voice was deeper, and not nearly as musical as Shen's was.

"I am so glad you came, Yoshi."

"As am I," Splinter replied. He set down the bags he was carrying on the table. "Our fare will be simple, but should meet the requirements of 'easy to chew.' I brought everything we need to make ochazuke."

"That sounds perfect."

As Splinter started boiling water for the tea, he tried not to think about the fact that he used to make ochazuke on nights that Shen was too weary to cook. He portioned out some of the rice he had cooked earlier into bowls and sprinkled on the toppings he had chosen. In a few minutes, everything was ready and he took the bowls over to the table.

Mei had already wheeled herself over to the table. She smiled a radiant smile at him, which he could not help but reflect.

"You look beautiful tonight, Mei," Splinter said. "I feel quite underdressed."

"You look perfect to me," Mei replied.

Perfect.

Here he was, a giant rat, and she thought he looked perfect. Once he had become accustomed to his new form, he had never been self-conscious. Of course, several weeks ago, when Mei had asked him if he wanted to regain his human form, he suddenly began to worry if his appearance bothered her.

Apparently, it did not. The thought warmed his heart.

After dinner, they moved over to the couch where they sat and talked for a while. There was a lull in the conversation, and Mei leaned her head over and rested it on Splinter's shoulder. He undid her elaborate hairstyle so that he could run his fingers through her silky blue-black hair. "You are so beautiful," he whispered.

Mei smiled. "Such idle flattery won't get you anywhere."

"I mean it, Shen." The instant the words left his mouth he realized his error. He could feel Mei tense up slightly. "Mei. I am – I am so sorry, I did not mean – "

Mei pulled away from him. "No, it is fine. It is perfectly understandable. I just – when you look at me, do you see me, or do you see her?"

"Both," Splinter said, burying his face in his hands. "I know who you are. I understand you are not her. But…I…there are moments…when past and present become blurred."

"Just tell me that you care for me because of who I am, not who she was."

"I care for you, I do. I have seen the way you love my sons." In fact, it had been how much she cared for his sons and how much they cared for her that had drawn his attention in the first place. "I appreciate so many things about you…your fighting skills, your proficiency with electronics, your intelligence."

They sat there in awkward silence for several minutes. Splinter did not know what else to say. As much as he cared about Mei, more often than not, he found himself thinking about Shen when he was with her.

He would always love Shen more than anyone else.

She had said that she would accept his second-best, but Mei deserved better than that.

"Maybe," he said softly, "maybe…we are not ready for this."

Mei drew a deep breath and released it slowly. "We aren't, or you aren't?"

Splinter closed his eyes. "I am not."

"Maybe," Mei said. "But there is no hurry."

Splinter thought he detected a hint of hurt in her voice. "I am sorry."

"We both knew this would not be easy. And, as you have said, I look a great deal like my sister. We both lost our spouses suddenly – I think that makes it even harder. I watched that monster kill my husband, and you watched Shen die because of the fire that he started."

Splinter felt like a knife was being twisted in his side. "Mei…I have not been completely honest with you."

The truth was too painful.

"About what?"

"I told you that a beam of the house fell onto Shen, that she died in the fire. But…it was only a half-truth."

"What? Then –"

"I was unable to defend myself from Shredder's attack, and she – she interposed and took the blade for me. It was not until after she passed that the beam fell."

Mei was silent.

"I didn't tell you because…for years, I have hated myself for this. My failure in the fight is what took her life."

Tears ran down Mei's face. "Before your wedding, my sister once told me that she would rather die than live without you. The choice was hers, Yoshi."

"It was not a choice she ever should have been forced to make."

"It was a choice the Shredder forced her to make. Not you."

Splinter wrapped his arms around Mei and hugged her gently. "He killed her because of me. He hurt you because of me. Everything he did was because of me."

"Yoshi," Mei whispered, "the man was mad. Your feud with him did not force him to do anything. It was all his choice. Maybe you share in the blame, and maybe you don't. Just accept that it happened."

Acknowledge; let flow.

Of course. He once again – for the thousandth time – had to acknowledge his past, make peace with it. He had to focus on what was in front of him, at the positives. His sons. The woman next to him. Miwa's safety.

It was time to stop letting the Shredder live in the dark recesses of his mind, time to let the guilt and blame go.

It was time to fully embrace the present.

Splinter gently ran his fingers through Mei's hair again. "This is not going to be easy, Mei."

"No. It won't be. But we will make sense of it. That is, if you still want to."

Splinter drew a deep breath in through his nose. Her hair smelled sweet – a smell that was distinctly hers, and no one else's. There was no question that he cared for her – Mei – not some shadow of his past that he was projecting on to her. It didn't make his feelings any less confusing, nor did it erase the pain of his past. But it was something concrete to hold on to, something that proved to him that this was worth pursuing despite the obstacles ahead.

"I do."

A knock dragged Karai out of sleep. She glanced at the clock. It was far too early. She threw a robe on over her pajamas and opened the door to her room, throwing an evil glare the man who waited on the other side of the door."Do you have any idea what time it is, Xever?"

Xever scowled. "Yes. It's four-eighteen."

"In the morning," Karai hissed.

"Don't complain to me. Your friends the Kraang want to have a little chat with you. Blame them for the early wake-up call."

"Tell them I'm coming."

Karai slammed the door. She quickly dressed herself in her ninja gear and headed down to the main hall. A massive holographic projection already hovered above her. After dismissing Xever, she sat down on the throne and glared at the Kraang who had been chosen to communicate with her. "I was sleeping."

"The time of human sleep is not understood by Kraang," the Kraang said. "Kraang only knows that humans are erratic."

"Forget it. What do you want?"

"That which is known as the 'retro-retro-mutagen' which the one called Karai has requested is that which is known as 'complete.'"

Karai sat up straight. "And it works?"

"Simulations with the DNA provided have been successful. Kraang cannot determine more without the subject."

Karai grinned. "Bring a sample of it to me. I'll do the testing."

"No. Karai is that which is known as 'indebted' to Kraang. Kraang will deliver the 'retro-retro-mutagen' to Karai if Karai delivers the one known as 'April O'Neil' to Kraang."

Karai's stomach plummeted into a bucket of ice. Maybe there was a way that this could work. Maybe, if she gave April to the Kraang, she could get the turtles to rescue her. It wouldn't be the first time the turtles had foiled a Kraang plot, and the Kraang certainly wouldn't suspect Karai of being involved.

"Give me a couple of days, and I will deliver April O'Neil to you on a platter."