A Gift of Love
An adaptation of "Christmas Guy"
based on Villains' Bad Girl's universe
by LDEJRuff
Chapter 2 - The Christmas Carnival
Months have passed to Christmastime. The Griffins, now a family of six since they sold off Brian and Barbara's puppies, were watching Home Alone with Competent Robbers when Lois was ready to go the mall.
"Come on, everybody, let's go to the mall," she informed everyone. "It's time for the Christmas Carnival. It's Stewie's first Christmas."
"Again?" Stewie dismissed.
"I love the Christmas Carnival!" Chris shouted in excitement, little knowing his nose was bleeding.
"Chris, calm down," Lois said. "You're giving yourself a nosebleed."
The Griffins have arrived at the mall. As soon as they got in, Vinny, who was in a better mood, started to admire the elf costume Stewie was wearing.
"Hey, nice outfit," he said. "Fancy pair of shoes, too."
"Do you only use adjectives sarcastically?" Stewie asked.
"Nah," Vinny answered. "Since it's Christmas, it's always nice for me to compliment others in their gay apparel."
"Gay?" Stewie repeated. "You mean, like, happy?"
"Great question, smart guy," Vinny replied. "Maybe you and I can take a picture at the photo booth."
"Okay."
"Hey, Lois," Vinny began, "is it okay if Stews and I went to the photo booth to get a picture taken?"
"Okay, but be back in a few minutes," Lois informed. "I need to get in line for him to see Santa."
"You heard your ma," Vinny said to Stewie. "As soon as we get our picture taken, we need to be right back with the family."
"Oh," Stewie began, following him. "Okay."
When the two got to the photo booth, Vinny pulled out and put on a red sweater that Lois gave him. It used to belong to Brian before he died, but Lois thought it would be better for Vinny to wear it.
"Huh," he muttered. "Couldn't get much gayer than this."
Afterwhich, he got inside the photo booth and had some pictures taken with Stewie. Vinny then thought about which one he'd pick to put in a picture frame. After deciding, as promised, he brought Stewie back to the rest of the family so that the baby in question could see Santa. There was a long line ahead of them.
A few minutes had passed, and before Stewie could get a turn, Vinny had noticed his expression change from happy to sad.
"What's wrong with you, Stews?" he asked. "You're about to see the big guy himself, and you look like a piece of spaghetti on the street."
"Where'd you say you're from again, Vinny?" Stewie asked.
"The Manton Avenue section on North Providence," Vinny answered. "Used to be heavily-attired. Now lousy with Dominicans."
"Oh," Peter began, "this Christmas Carnival has everything: games, food... Oh, my God, it's the carolers from A Christmas Story."
As Peter pointed out, the Chinese carolers were singing "Deck the Halls," but they kept having trouble with their L and R sounds.
"That's right, America," Peter reminded, "don't forget. Your beloved holiday movie is incredibly racist."
"And flom not that rong ago," one of the carolers added.
It was just about time for Stewie to see the Mall Santa.
"You got everything you wanted here, Stewie," Vinny shrugged. "What's your problem?"
"I don't know, Vinny," Stewie answered. "Usually, I'd be happy around this time of the year, but it feels like something's missing."
"Yeah, it's always something," Vinny replied. "Like when I finally got to sleep with Mary Lou Gallo. She had a look, but when you got up close, she also had a smell."
"Oh, Stewie, you're next," Lois said, bringing her infant son to the Mall Santa's lap. It was now time.
"Ho, ho, ho," the Mall Santa began. "Mall Santa is brought to you in part this season by Chipotle. Between good and garbage, it's Chipotle. So, what do you want for Christmas?"
"Oh, what do I want for Christmas?" Stewie asked himself. "What do I want for Christmas?"
Stewie looked around him, seeing the remote flyer planes on display, some toys being rung up at the toy store cashier, his father being pushed by a couple teenagers, who then tossed his hat back and forth, then at the game store, and the gift-wrapping department. All of this seemed to be a bit too much for Stewie until he finally looked at his family, and a long empty spot. Finally, he turned to the Mall Santa.
"You know what I want for Christmas?" he asked. "I want my friends back."
"Your friends?" the Mall Santa repeated.
"Yes," Stewie replied. "My best friends. My dogs, Brian, Barbara and their four puppies. Both of the parents are dead, and their puppies were sold away. It's our first Christmas without any of them and no one's even mentioned them."
What Stewie just said hurt Vinny emotionally, now thinking about the puppies.
"I don't care about this stupid carnival or Christmas," Stewie continued. "I don't care about anything except Brian, Barbara and the puppies. I want my dogs." With that, he shed tears of grief.
Vinny started sniffling. "Oh, Barbara," he began. "I'm so sorry!" With that, he ran off crying.
"Vinny, wait!" Peter called, but the dog was out of sight.
Back to the Mall Santa. Vinny's saddened outburst had gotten Stewie's attention. Now he couldn't help but feel sorry for Vinny even more.
"You want me to put a couple dead dogs under your tree?" the Mall Santa asked, confused.
"Yes," Stewie answered, still sniffling. "And, uh, I-I'd like a bike, too."
On that, Stewie saw that two parents had bought their son a bike. The rest of the human family members were sad about what their youngest member said.
Author's note: Yeah, I know these last few bits are from the storyboard animatic version of "Christmas Guy" found on Disc 2 of the Season 12 DVD, but I decided to add some bits from the final process.