A Gift of Love
An adaptation of "Christmas Guy"
based on Villains' Bad Girl's universe
by LDEJRuff
Chapter 5 - A Plan at the Toy Store
The following morning, the Griffins decided to head back to the mall. Vinny had promised not to cry out loud that time. They okay'd his request to guide Stewie to the toy store to pick out something he wanted.
"Okay, Stewie," he said to his infant friend. "Pick something you want, on me."
"I dunno, Vin," Stewie replied. "I pretty much don't like the toy store when it's close to Christmas. The shelves are always getting picked clean."
"There's plenty of good stuff here," Vinny said, looking around. Just then, he noticed something that changed his expression. "Oh. Wind-up puppies."
He headed that direction, leaving Stewie behind. Looking at the wind-up puppies reminded him not only of his puppy days, but also about the puppies he failed to take care of. He shed a single tear of sadness after picking one up.
"Barbara," he whispered.
"Vinny, come quick!" Stewie's voice rang, getting Vinny's attention.
With that, he put the puppy down and headed back to Stewie.
"What's going on, Stews?"
The baby in question pointed to a similarly-small child wearing a brown coat, a stocking cap, and a backpack.
"That stocking cap," Stewie began. "That coat. They're mine." He suddenly realized. "Wait a minute. It's me from the past. Vinny, I never told either Brian or Barbara about this, but several months ago, I time traveled ahead to the future, one week before I destroyed my time machine, and bought that toy."
"Oh!" Vinny shouted. "This is something I just don't understand. Oh! Excuse me, I'm just gonna 'Oh' this out until I calm down." With that, he left Stewie again and kept going "Oh! Oh! Oh!" until he eventually calmed down.
Stewie crept behind a toy rack watching his past self bring the toy to the cashier. It was a new Jolly Farm Revue set.
"Wow," the cashier worker said, picking up the toy, "good timing, little fella. This just came out today." "Yeah," the past Stewie chuckled, "I kind of knew that already."
"Would you like to donate an extra dollar to the Quahog Food Bank?" the worker asked.
The past Stewie answered, "Oh, sure. And would you like to come home and clean my toilet, while we're both doing stuff for each other?"
"The time machine return pad is in the backpack that other Stewie is wearing," Stewie whispered. "I must get my hands on it, Vinny." A second of silence. "Vinny?"
The dog in question just came back after a fight with a black eye and ruffed-up fur.
"I just punched a sandwich," he said, "and boy, was that sandwich tough."
"As tough as your mom's fat face," a meatball sub behind Vinny added.
"Hey, leave my mother out of this," Vinny replied, clenching his paws. "That woman stitched gloves 'til she was ninety."
"I heard she was good with her hands."
"Nice," Vinny replied, sarcastically. "Hey, everybody, we got a funny sandwich here." Vinny then scoffed the sandwich. "Screw you."
"Vinny," Stewie whispered, getting his attention. "Can you help me get the other Stewie to take off his backpack?"
"I ain't following," Vinny shrugged.
"It's pretty hard to explain," Stewie replied, "but I need to steal something..."
"That's it," Vinny halted. "You already explained. You need to steal something. Got it."
As Vinny was about to walk to the past Stewie, Stewie halted, "Wait a second. Are you planning something?"
"Don't worry, Stewie," Vinny assured. "I think I know you well enough to distract the other you."
Vinny then got back to walking to the past Stewie.
After Vinny cleaned himself up, he leaned against a column and got the past Stewie's attention.
"Hey, how you doing? This may sound a little presumptuous of me, but, uh, you ever do any modeling?"
"Well, not professionally," the past Stewie answered, "but I have thought about it."
"You ought to," Vinny assured. "What are you, like, six-three? Six-four?"
"You're in you're in the ballpark," the past Stewie replied. "I carry myself taller. Good posture, very important." With that, he posed.
"Oh, I agree," Vinny replied. "Can you show me some more?"
The past Stewie posed again.
"That's good," Vinny said, paw under his chin. "But I think your backpack might be hiding some figure flaws."
The past Stewie chuckled. "Well, that is where you are wrong, my friend." He continued to pose away, unaware of Stewie getting the return pad out of the backpack before running off. After posing, he continued, "You know, my friends ask me, 'Stewie, why do you throw up after every meal?'" He undid the snaps on his overalls and posed again. "This. This is why."