Thank you to Wonderwomanbatmanfan for giving me the idea for this chapter. Enjoy!
Chapter 22
Haruhi was extremely relieved. It turned out that getting assigned Kyoya as her 'playdate' was a blessing in disguise. They had decided that there weren't going to participate in it at all. So she was able to get a day off while the rest of the Host Club were too preoccupied to annoy her. She only had to worry about the 'family dinner' later that night.
Haruhi sat in her living room, folding laundry while sipping a cup of tea. Today would be a very nice day.
…
"MORI-SENPAI!" Harley yelled as she waved at the tall boy. She was standing outside of the Morinozuka estate, jumping up and down as Mori exited his home.
"Hi," he greeted. Suddenly, Harley jumped towards him and gave him a tight hug around his middle.
"We're going to have such a fun day! I have it all planned out! First we're going to go for coffee at my favorite café and then we're going to the movies and there's this shopping district that we could go to, and I can't wait! It's going to be great and amazing and then we can get lunch somewhere and then-"Harley continued to babble on.
Mori stared at the smaller brunette as she rambled and flailed her arms in every direction. She would also bounce around, reminding him of how Mitsukuni would move whenever he spoke. Checking his watch, Mori decided that she had been talking for too long. He placed his hand on top of her head and she stopped talking.
"Let's go," he said.
"Okay!" Harley cheered. She went towards her motorcycle and handed him a 'Little Mermaid' helmet. "Hop on." Harley whipped her helmet on and sat on her bike. She patted the seat behind her. Mori stared at the helmet before shrugging and putting it on.
Thirty minutes later, they were riding through a highway on Harley's motorcycle. She was laughing loudly as the wind whipped at her face. Mori's face stayed stoic as they rode on.
…
Tamaki was more than thrilled to spend the day with one of his daughters. He had nearly everything planned out. They were going to go to Tokyo Disneyland and have a wonderful daddy-daughter time. And everything is going to be great! And they were going to go have commoner treats! Violet is going to accept him as her father and love him and everything is going to be great! And nothing bad is going to happen, and-
"No, senpai," Violet said, ruining his train of thought.
"But, but, but, but-"Tamaki started saying.
"No, senpai, we're going to the mall," Violet said. "I need to get another pair of pantyhose. Mine has a tear in it." Tamaki inflated again.
"Yes! We shall go to the commoner's mall," Tamaki cheered as he shot his arms in the air. Violet rolled her eyes and started walking away.
"Wait! But the car?" Tamaki said as he pointed to the limo besides him.
"We'll walk," Violet called out. A new wave of energy bursted into Tamaki.
"Alright!" he yelled as he ran after her. "We shall use the popular commoner's mode of transportation then!"
….
"HOLY SHIT!" Kaoru roared. Kaoru and Shay were riding in a go-kart. Yes, you've read that correctly. The two host club members were riding in a singular go-kart going down the streets of Tokyo. Apparently, Shay owned a go-kart that was big enough to fit two people and had the engine of a small car. However when Shay suggested to Kaoru that they should ride in her go-kart, he assumed that they would ride around the block at 2 kilometers per hour.
Now, they were racing through the streets at such a ridiculous speed that Kaoru was genuinely fearful for his life.
"WOOHOO BABY!" Shay bellowed as the go-kart sprinted down a hill. There was a loud screech as the kart finally stopped, but it spun around five times before neatly stopping between two parallel parked cars. Kaoru flopped out of the small metal death trap.
"Oh my god," he groaned. His head was still spinning. Shay jumped out, barely phased by anything and laughing loudly.
"Hahaha! Look at your face!" Shay snickered.
"I think I'm dying," Kaoru groaned as he laid down on the ground. Shay laughed again. It wasn't a sweet or kind laugh that Honey-senpai would have; it was loud and boisterous. She was obviously enjoying his pain.
"C'mon you wimp," Shay said as she started to dragged Kaoru by his leg. "There's an ice cream shop over there!"
…
"No way! How can you be so good at this game?" Hikaru said, frustrated. He crossed his arms across his chest and pouted. Hikaru and Areily were sitting in the girls' living, playing a video game on the Play Station that the redhead had brought from his house.
"Want to play another round?" Areily asked softly. She held the second player controller in her hands and offered him the first player controller.
"What's the point?" Hikaru grumbled. "You're going to win anyway." A silence settled over them as Hikaru sulked. Areily frowned. What was she going to do with him? The boy was too high strung for her liking and seemed to give up too easily.
"Have you ever gardened?" Areily asked the younger boy. He raised a finely manicured eyebrow.
"Why would I?" He griped. She started smiling again and stood up. She turned off the Play Station and started walking towards the backyard.
"Come," Areily said. Hikaru frowned and watched her leave. He crossed his arms again and continued to sulk.
…
Rose sighed as she sat in a little bakery. Across from her, Honey was munching on a piece of strawberry cake. He must have eaten at least an entire cake already in the past twenty minutes.
"What's wrong Ro-chan?" Honey asked. "You haven't touched your cake."
"Oh nothing, senpai," Rose replied as she stared out the window. "I'm not a fan of sweet stuff." She quickly shut her eyes in anticipation for the sharp kick to her shin that she was expecting. It never came. She opened her eyes again.
"Ro-chan?" Honey asked.
"Shay usually kicks me or Violet whenever we say something that she doesn't agree with," Rose explained. Honey laughed.
"Shay-chan is funny like that," he giggled. A sweat drop appeared on Rose's forehead.
"Yeah, very funny," she said.
"So what do you like to eat then, Ro-chan?" Honey wondered as he took another bite of his cake.
"I like spicy stuff," Rose said. Honey crinkled his nose.
"Well, since you came with me to my favorite bakery," Honey smiled. "I guess we could visit a curry shop." Rose laughed
"You really are sweet Honey-senpai."
…
"Can we please go to the pet shop?" Tamaki whined. They were in a sock shop in the mall while Violet examined a pair of opaque panty hose.
"No," Violet said. Tamaki pouted again and started to examine the sock shop. He walked through the racks until he noticed something. It was pair of pink socks that had golden crowns on it. He gasped and grasped the pair. This was everything he had ever dreamed of.
"What are you doing?" Violet asked.
"Look, daughter!" Tamaki exclaimed as he held up the socks.
"Don't call me that in public," she grumbled.
"But it's prefect!" Tamaki cried.
"Then get them," Violet said as she turned back to the pantyhose section. He turned back to the socks and something caught his eyes. A dark purple pair of socks with small glasses on it. He grinned as an idea popped into his head.
"The Host Club wears magic socks!" Tamaki said to himself as he started rummaging through all of the socks.
…
"Doesn't this ice cream make you feel better?" Shay asked. In her hands was a large ice cream cone piled high with three flavors of ice cream, whipped cream, and sprinkles. Kaoru had a cone of his own with vanilla soft serve.
"I guess," Kaoru said. They were walking through a park after getting their ice cream cones.
"Oh my god!" Shay exclaimed. "A playground!" Suddenly, she ate the rest of her ice cream in one bite, grabbed Kaoru's arm, and dragged him towards the playground causing him to drop his cone.
"Push me on the swings, Kaoru!" she said as she hopped on one of the swing sets. Kaoru sighed and started pushing her.
"Senpai?" Kaoru said after nearly fifteen minutes. His arms were getting tired and it didn't seem like Shay was.
"Keep pushing," Shay hissed in a demonic voice. Kaoru let out a yelp and kept pushing, making sure never to slow down.
…
Hikaru and Areily were outside in the backyard. Both were wearing aprons and gloves as they tended to the garden. Areily had taught him how to scoop out a clump of dirt and replace it with a small plant that she had gotten from a nursery before. She would also hum a strange yet pleasant tune as they worked.
Despite being forced to manual labor, Hikaru kind of enjoyed gardening (not that he would ever admit that to anyone!). He didn't feel as tensed as he usually did, and the silence was actually calming. It was weird.
…
"You don't have to eat any if you don't want to," Rose said as she watched Honey attempt to eat a curry bun.
"No! I can do it!" Honey protested as he held the small bun to his face. With a determined look, he took a large bite out of it. Rose watched as Honey froze. Tears began to fill his eyes as his entire face turned red.
"Honey-senpai?" Rose asked.
"Wahhhhhhhh!" Honey cried out as steam blew out of his ears and mouth. Rose jumped and reached towards the cup of water in front of them. She jammed her hand into the cup and took out the ice cubes. Then, she crammed the ice cubes into the smaller boy's mouth. Honey stopped his wailing and pouted.
"Thanks Ro-chan," Honey mumbled although he still looked sad.
"Why don't we just go back to the bakery," Rose offered.
"Yay!"
….
Haruhi had finished the laundry and just had lunch. She was going to start her homework when she felt something.
'Something's going to go wrong,' Haruhi thought. 'And then they're going to drag me into it.' She frowned and turned back to her schoolwork. Maybe she could get her math done before they came for her.
…
"Mori-senpai?" Harley turned around, expecting to see the tall senior standing behind her. However, he was not. This wasn't odd. Since they arrived at the shopping district, Harley had the bad habit of running off whenever she saw something that intrigued her, and would leave Mori behind. At some point, Mori was able to find her. He could easily spot her head of curly brown hair because of his height.
Harley was examining a small alarm clock shaped like a cat when she heard someone crying. She turned around to the sound. Across from her was a girl with short brown hair. She seemed to be a year younger than her and was wearing a school uniform. It was a high waisted red skirt with a sailor top that had a yellow ribbon on it.
"Excuse me, miss, are you alright?" Harley asked. The girl looked up at her.
"Oh woes me," the girl cried out dramatically. "I shouldn't burden you with my own problems!"
"Oh, it's okay," Harley said, not noticing that the girl was obviously fake crying. "Maybe I could help?"
"Well you see, I come from the prestigious school, St. Lobelia's Girls Academy, where I'm a part of the White Lily League's Zuka Club," the girl explained as she dramatically placed a hand on her forehead. "We've been working on one of our biggest musical performances for tonight. And yet our lead dropped out at the last minute! We've been working so hard and the entire school has been waiting for it! "She started crying again. Harley who was a sucker for tears, started to confront the girl.
"Well maybe I could help?" Harley said. "I sing a lot for the Host Club at my school so maybe-"
"Hinako!" A voice called out. The girl crying besides her, suddenly stood up and ran towards the owner of the voice. Harley turned around to see two other girls. The first girl was extremely tall and was also dressed in the same uniform. She also had a short boyish haircut and a very handsome face. The second girl was slighter shorter and wore the same uniform, but she had long wavy hair.
"How many times have a told you not to burden lovely maidens with our own problems," the stranger said as she held Hinako by the waist.
"I'm sorry Benio," Hinako cried out. Benio turned towards Harley. Before Harley could figure out what was happening, Benio had spun her around and dipped her. She caressed Harley's face.
"It's an honor to be graced by such an exotic beauty as your own, my fair maiden," Benio said in a husky voice. Harley's eyes widened and she could feel her cheeks go red. Benio smirked at that. She spun Harley around again and placed her back on her feet.
"Maybe one day we will be reunited again," Benio said as she winked at Harley. "Come, Hinako, Chizuru, we must return to Lobelia and inform our loyal fans that our musical will not be performed tonight." The three girls turned around and began walking away.
"Wait!" Harley called out. Benio smirked. "Maybe I could help? I'm a decent enough singer and maybe I could learn the songs in time!" Benio and the two other girls turned around again.
"Well, I suppose you could," Benio said as she touched her chin. "You are the same size at the actress who dropped out so maybe her costume will fit you." That was a blatant lie. The former actress, if there even was one, was definitely not the same size as Harley.
"Alright!" Harley said. She pulled out her cellphone and starting typing. "Let me just text my friend, so that he knows where I am."
"No time!" Chizuru said as she grabbed Harley's left arm.
"We must go now!" Hinako grabbed Harley's right arm. They began to drag Harley away towards their limo as Benio led them. The next moment, they had thrown Harley into the backseat and drove away.
A few minutes past until Mori showed up. It had taken him longer to find Harley this time. He looked around when suddenly something hard touched his foot. He looked down and saw Harley's cellphone on the floor. He picked it up and saw that the screen showed a text message that was meant for him but never sent:
Hey Mori-senpai!
So sorry for running out like this but
I met these girls from Lobelia and they
really need my help so that's where I will be!
Mori frowned. Not this again. He stuffed Harley's cellphone into his pocket and pulled out his own. He dialed a number and held it to his ear.
"Hello? Takashi?"
"Mitsukuni, we have a problem."
…
As soon as they had arrived at the large white school, the three girls had thrown her into a dance studio with a stack of song lyrics and a script. Other Lobelia girls quickly taught her the choreography, and now she was learning the songs.
"And my heart will forever sing the song of your heart~" Harley bellowed. Benio smiled widely. They were able to rescue another beautiful maiden that was trapped by the notorious Host Club. Unlike Haruhi, this one could actually sing so they didn't have to have her lip sync. Benio couldn't wait for tonight when she would play the male lead and Harley as the female lead. Once they did the ending kiss, Harley would obvious fall madly in love with Benio and decide to transfer to St. Lobelia's Girls Academy. She would also drag along the rest of the girls trapped by the Host Club, making the Zuka Club's mission to demolish the Host Club a success!
…
"THOSE DEVILIOUS LOBELIA GIRLS KIDNPAPPED MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER!" Tamaki wailed for the fifth time in the last three minutes. Everyone was sitting in the girls' living room. After Mori called Honey, Honey called Tamaki who started crying and called Kyoya. From that point on, the entire Host Club (minus Harley) relocated so that they could make a game plan. David was also there. He said at the couch eating from the peanut butter jar with a spoon.
"We must go to Lobelia Academy and rescue Harley before those evil girls convert her and we lose Harley forever!" Tamaki announced as he jumped onto the coffee table.
"Get off the table, senpai," Haruhi scolded the blond boy.
"This is just like the 'Lobelia's Girls Academy Strikes Back' episode that we did before," Hikaru noted. Kaoru frowned and looked at his brother.
"Are you wearing an apron?" Kaoru asked. Hikaru shrugged.
"Are we just going to ignore the fact that Hikaru just said 'episode'?" Violet asked.
"Yes," Hikaru and Kaoru said at the same time.
"Do you ever feel like your entire life and train of thought is being controlled by some strange person with a laptop and too much free time?" Rose commented. Hikaru, Kaoru, and Violet nodded pensively.
"What the actual fuck are you four talking about," Shay said.
"Enough! We must save Harley! We must use these disguises!" Tamaki announced. He pulled out a stack of pink t-shirts that read: 'Beni-Bara.'
"Was he carrying those shirts with him all day?" Haruhi asked.
"Its better not to ask," Kyoya responded. He was on his phone. He couldn't use the GPS on Harley's cellphone since Mori had found it, but the GSP chip that he placed in Harley's earring showed that she was actually in Lobelia Academy.
"Wait!" David jumped up. "How much trouble is Harley in?"
"FIVE MILLION!" Tamaki responded as he jumped onto the coffee table.
"OH MY GOD!" David shrieked as he jumped onto the table as well.
"She's not in that much trouble," Haruhi mumbled. No one listened to her.
An hour later, all twelve of them were jammed into one limousine, wearing the 'Beni-Bara' shirts. They were on their way to St. Lobelia's Girls Academy, about to activate 'Operation: Save Harley From Having Her Soul Stolen From Her' or 'OSHFHHSSFH' for short.
…
Harley still could not understand what the musical was about. She was apparently the lead of the play but couldn't figure out what was going on. The show itself was nearly four hours long and she was only in the second hour. She barely had any lines and yet she stayed on stage the entire time. She wore a large blue and gold ball gown that was similar to a Marie Antoinette costume (however the bodice was too tight!). Her hair was curled even more with extra extensions and piled very high on her head. And her face was caked with a ridiculously amount of stage makeup.
"My love~" Benio sang out. "I would cross the ocean, fight any monster, to be by your side." The audience of girls all wearing pink fan t-shirts all shrieked with screams and applause.
Harley sighed. Maybe she should stop helping random strangers. She wondered was Kyoya was doing.
…
Kyoya was currently with the rest of his idiot friends. They had arrives just as the play was about to start. Because of the shirts Tamaki had made him wear, they were quickly smooshed in with the rest of the crowd and stuck in the audience. Unlike last time when Haruhi was in this position, they couldn't get to the control booth because the audience had jammed them into their spots. Even when Honey or Shay tried crawling in between people's legs, they were thrown back.
As soon as the play started, none of the Host Club enjoyed it (except for Tamaki and David who were suckers for anything that mentioned beauty and love). After two hours, the two pair of twins had started playing 'Go Fish,' Shay started playing on a Gameboy while Honey watched, Haruhi had pulled out a book, and Areily and Mori were sharing her headphones and listening to music. Kyoya was watching the play, but only for the sake of seeing Harley and making sure that she was safe.
"And now! The time has come!" Benio sung out. Screams erupted from the audience. She was dressed in an absurdly extravagant suit with feathers. "For my princess to arrive!" A spot light shone on Harley. She was out of the Marie Antoinette get up and was wearing a sparkly purple leotard that had a large skirt attached to it made of feathers.
"My savoir~" Harley sang as she descended down a large white staircase. "You have saved me from those virile delinquents and I must reward you with-"
"A KISS!" Benio interrupted. She spun Harley around and the audience went wild. Kyoya frowned. Tamaki gasped. David laughed. Haruhi shrugged. Shay rolled her eyes. Honey and Areily giggled. Mori stayed stoic. The twins continued playing 'Go Fish.'
"Wait what?" Harley said in a normal voice, breaking the atmosphere of the play. "You never told me that I had to kiss you." Gasps erupted from the Lobelia girls. Benio grasped Harley by the waist, spun her, around and dipped her.
"Would you kiss me now?" Benio asked in a sultry voice. More screams from the Lobelia girls. Then, Harley started laughing. Benio frowned and let go of her, but Harley continued to laugh and clutch her sides. The room was completely silent except for her laughter.
"Oh my god, Benio, you're hilarious," Harley said as she finally stopped laughing. She went towards the taller girl and touched her shoulder. "You're a very attractive girl, but you're just not my type." More gasps.
"Why? Is it because I'm not a man?" Benio asked, offended as she raised a hand to her chest. Harley laughed again.
"No, silly, your gender has nothing to do with my attraction to you," Harley explained. "I just like people who wear glasses!" She said this statement as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. In the audience, the Host Club erupted in laughter. Even Kyoya was smiling (but of course he hid it with his hand because he's still the cool type, duh).
"Besides," Harley continued. "I can't kiss you because I already have a boyfriend. And he's right-"Harley scanned the audience until she noticed a flash of blue hair "-there!" She pointed in that direction. The Lobelia girls parted to reveal the entire Host Club just chilling in the audience.
"The Host Club!?" Benio gasped.
"What? Did you actually think you could take me anywhere without them all following?" Harley said. She unclasped the large feather skirt and kicked off her shoes, leaving her just in the sparkly leotard. Then Harley hopped off the stage. The audience cleared a way towards the Host Club. "Well, this was fun, Benio! Bye everyone~" Harley waved and made her way to the group. Immediately David and Tamaki hugged her. She turned to Kyoya and give him a quick peck on the lips.
"Okay guys," Harley whispered as she turned to her friend group. "On the count of three: run."
"HOW DARE YOU MAKE A MOCKERY OF THE ZUKA CLUB?" Benio exclaimed as she pointed at them.
"1." The Host Club started backing away.
"YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB!" Benio yelled again. Chizuru and Hinako stood behind her menacingly.
"2." They were by the door.
"LOBELIA GIRLS, GET THEM!"
"3. RUN!"
At that moment, nearly the entire student body of St. Lobelia's Girls Academy went chasing after the Ouran High School Host Club. They went through the entire school before finally getting outside.
"There's the limo!" Tamaki yelled as he pointed to the long black car that was waiting for them. The driver saw what was happening and reacted quickly by opening the doors before hopping into the driver's seat (he was after all the driver of Tamaki Suoh so this was an average Saturday for him).
Shay quickly ricocheted into the car like a bullet. It was quite rad because she managed to defy the laws of gravity and at least three of the law of Physics in the process. Mori, while carrying both Areily and Honey, got to the limo quickly with his long legs. David had the same idea! Kind of! He picked up Harley and Haruhi in one scoop and literally threw them into the car before entering as well. Kyoya obviously got into the limo nonchalantly. The two pairs of twins were the last to entire and they closed the doors after them.
"Wait!" Tamaki screamed as he banged his fists against the door. "I'm still out here!"
"Sorry, tono," Hikaru said as he rolled down the window. "There's no more room."
"And it's already really snug in here," Kaoru added. BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FIT FUCKING THIRTEEN PEOPLE INTO ONE AVERAGE SIZED LIMOSUINE. FUCK!
"I'm going to get slaughtered!" Tamaki wailed as the Lobelia girls were catching up. At some point they had gotten torches and pitchforks.
"Wait, Tamaki!" That was Harley. "Use the sunroof!" Tamaki looked around frantically until he saw the open cavity on top of the vehicle. With only seconds to spare, Tamaki launched himself head first into the window. He had only gotten his top half into the limousine when suddenly everyone yelled:
"DRIVE!"
The limo took off at such a ridiculous speed with Tamaki's legs flailing out of the roof of it. Suddenly Tamaki let out a cry.
"THERE'S SOMETHING BITING ME!" Everyone jammed their heads together as they tried to see what was going on. Through the thin gap in the sun roof (because Tamaki's torso filled nearly all of it) there seemed to be a random girl on the roof of the car… biting Tamaki's leg.
"FUcking fuck!" Shay said. She cracked open a window and propelled herself out of the car, onto its roof. A few loud thumps were heard when suddenly they saw the girl fall of the car. Shay then returned via the window. Tamaki had also calmed down.
"Is the girl okay?" Honey asked. It was a stupid question since they literally just saw the girl's body fall into moving traffic. But this was an anime so it's alright.
"Oh, yeah, she just had to take a nap," Shay told him.
Thirty minutes later, they were all seat around a large table at a pizzeria. Everyone was intact and happy. They were all laughing about something as they waited for their food to arrive.
"You know this wasn't how I expect the day to go," Harley said as she stood up with her glass. She was still wearing the sparkly purple leotard. The restaurant refused to allow her in without shoes so now she was wearing a pair of sneakers that Kyoya had bought off a random stranger for 10,000 yen. "But I feel like we all bonded pretty well today!" She turned to the blond boy sitting across from her. "Mr. King would you like to do the honors?" Tamaki smiled and shot up. He held up his own glass.
"To the Ouran Host Club!" Tamaki said. "Cheers!" Everyone raised their own glasses and clacked them with each other. Harley sat back down and smiled at Kyoya who was sitting next to her.
"So, it's just the glasses?" Kyoya asked. Harley smiled. She leaned up and placed a kiss on his cheek.
"That and some other things." She took a sip out of her drink. "How about me? What attracted you to me?"
"You're a very passionate girl," Kyoya responded.
"That's an interesting thought, in its own way," Harley mocked while imitating his voice.
"You think your funny, don't you?" he said. Harley smiled and gave him a peck on the lips.
"I'm so hilarious," Harley said. "You're actually very lucky to be my boyfriend."
"So, I'm the lucky one?" he said.
"Yep, you are," she said. "Cause you're not the one wearing a leotard made out of gemstone and wearing a tourist's pair of old converse."
"I suppose you're right in that aspect."
"But, I guess I am kind of lucky," Harley said as she stared at the table. "I'm surrounded by everyone that I love about to dine on a slice of Meat Lovers' pizza in a beautiful foreign country. I don't think I've ever been this happy before." She turned to look at Kyoya with glazed eyes. "Thank you."
Kyoya stared back at her. She was the most stunning and loving girl he had ever laid his eyes on with a compassionate heart and a mind of gold. She had made him feel emotions that he never knew that he possessed and thought only existed in Tamaki's sappy romance novels. And here she was, crying because she was too happy about sitting for dinner with her friends and family. He placed a kiss on her forehead.
"You're a silly girl," he said.
"Love you too, Kyoya."
…
So! Harley is pansexual. The twins have broken the fourth wall and they don't care. Shay is a psychopath and Honey loves it. Tamaki is still an idiot and is a bad influence on David. Mori has run out of fucks to give. And Kyoya is adorable and helpless in love.
Stay tune next time on Host Club plus American Girls! We'll see you then!
Thank you for reading! Please leave a review!