Author's notes: Operation Tuesday is consistently trying to foil itself. It's actually quite aggravating. Here I had this all ready to go yesterday, and the Internet wouldn't come on. *sigh* Maybe we'll revert back to random updates at random times…

This chapter has changed so much in the course of its writing, I'm not even sure what I wrote anymore. :\ And good grief, Darcy, when did you become a main character? You weren't even supposed to be here, lol.

Warnings: in case there should be

xxxxii.

"So, we've noticed that you spend a lot of time around Darcy lately," Fandral began.

The human immediately placed a hand over his mouth. "Fandral, Fandral, stop," it said. "We are not going to waste half the chapter over this."

"But—"

"No."

"Can't you at least—"

"No." It stopped. "Hogun, when did you get here?"

"I was waiting in the closet," Hogun said briefly. "It's my closet."

"Oh." The human looked around. "Well, you have a lovely closet. The closet that all four of us are huddled in. Trying to talk about how I spend time with Darcy."

"A lot of time with Darcy," Fandral said again, lifting his eyebrows suggestively.

The human stared at him. "You honestly think that I have a romantic interest in Darcy?" it asked. "Fandral, you are quite mad! We're not even the same species."

"You are now," Fandral pointed out.

"That is an excellent point, but still, no. I like Darcy very much, but not in such a fashion, and as I said, we're not even the same species."

"Hey, Danny, you around here?"

Danny? Fandral mouthed.

"I'm in the closet," the human called.

"In the clo—" The door opened and Darcy poked her head in. "Wow," she said, voice shaking as she contained a laugh. "Party in the closet. Do I even want to know what you four are doing here?"

"Uh," said Fandral and Volstagg. Hogun said nothing, but he looked very awkward. The human pointed at the Dashing and the Voluminous.

"These two buffoons have developed a keen interest in our relationship," the human said. "Apparently we're hopelessly in love and just don't realize it." It nodded at Hogun. "I'm not sure about this one."

Darcy howled with laughter. Keeled over and gripped her knees as she vainly tried to remain erect. "What? You really—what? We're not even the same species, guys! I mean, I'm okay with weird, but a cat? A supervillain's cat?" She reached up to her face to wipe tears away. "Oh, oh gosh, I hurt."

"I don't see what's so funny," Fandral said, wounded.

"Trust me, Fandral," the human told him, "give it some time, and you will."

"Need a hand out of the man pile?" Darcy asked.

"I wouldn't refuse it."

Darcy giggled and pulled the human out of the closet. "I tried to find the library, but nobody around here seems to know where it is. I figured you could get me there."

"Yes, Loki goes there frequently for research," the human said. They immediately proceeded to the hallway. Darcy burst out laughing again, and the human did as well.

"We have a library?" Fandral said wonderingly.

"Apparently so," Volstagg replied.

The trio scrambled out of the closet and rushed over to the door, peeking out at the departing humans. Fandral sighed. "So close," he sighed.

"Next time, Fandral," Volstagg comforted him. "One of these days you will make a successful match."

Fandral shook his head. "I just don't know why it doesn't ever work," he said despairingly.

"Found your book?" the human asked. It glanced over at the sizable stack on a reading table. "Or should I say last book?"

"Uh-huh," Darcy said, teetering as she dragged a large tome from a high shelf. "That's to both, by the way." She hopped down triumphantly and set the final book on top of her stack. "So," she asked, "are Fandral and Volstagg always such matchmakers?"

"I haven't taken much notice of them before," the human admitted. "But from what I can tell this is simply expansion on old natures. Fandral is a charmer and Volstagg is tender; together they are irrepressible."

"I noticed." Darcy started to giggle again. "What idiots. But that was probably the best thing that has happened to me this entire visit."

"Yes, it was a good laugh, wasn't it?"

"You know," Darcy remarked thoughtfully, "we could have fun with this."

A grin started to appear on the human's face. "We could," it agreed.

Darcy picked up her stack of books and the human stole some off the top. They exchanged looks. "Nah," they decided.

xxxxiii.

Loki came into his rooms and found the human sitting out on the balcony, gazing over Asgard with the most melancholy of expressions. It sighed.

"What's your problem?" Loki queried disinterestedly, setting his bag of supplies down on a table and double-checking that everything was there.

"I have such longing, Loki," the human said mournfully. "A fair maiden of Midgard I love, but alas! We can never be together."

Loki blinked. "What."

"Aye, 'tis true!" the human cried. "I love the Lady Darcy, I wither every moment I am away from her! She—" It snorted loudly, curling into itself as it started laughing. Wary, Loki started to slowly back out of the room. "Oh, hang it all, I knew I wouldn't get far!"

"But you were doing so good!" a voice exclaimed from behind Loki, and he whirled around to face Darcy. "I know we said we weren't going to do it, but his face!"

"Oh, I—ah." The human couldn't articulate anymore, giggling as it wiped tears from its eyes. "We—heehee!—really are the most terrible creatures, Darcy. I have never felt like such a fool, but to seriously alarm the God of Mischief? That is a worthy reward."

Loki sighed, hiding his face behind his hand. "I hate you."

"You bought it!" the human crowed. "For half a split second, you bought it!"

Loki scowled at them. "A hoax. You were attempting to pull a hoax, on me."

"A jolly good hoax, though," the human said, uncurling out of its ball of giggles to look over at Loki and Darcy. "Absolutely retarded, but jolly good!"

Loki shook his head. "Your humanity is turning you on your head," he told the human.

"Gee, figured that all out on your own, did you?"

Loki casually threw a frying pan at it. The dish clanged loudly off the human's head, and it only continued to chortle. The Asgardian rolled his eyes in exasperation and stalked out of the room as both of the humans giggled away.

Outside Loki dropped his scowl and chuckled, shaking his head. "You really did stop for a second there, Loki," he said to himself. "You're losing your touch." He went off, musing on a trick to one-up the duo. Perhaps something to do with…

xxxxiv.

"Darcy tells me that she tazed Thor when they first met," the human startled Jane as it unexpectedly dropped in. "I suppose that's where Loki got the idea." It chuckled. "Oh well, at least he didn't electrocute himself this time."

"Does that happen often?" Jane asked.

The human laughed. "Loki has… a lot of mishaps in his attempts to kill me."

"How can you be so okay with that?" Jane demanded. "Anyone else would be trying to get away—as fast as they could!"

"Did Thor not explain to you?" the human queried.

"He did, but I still don't understand."

"I see," the human said. It rubbed its fingers together thoughtfully. "It's a strange day when the folk come to me for answers." It sat down next to Jane, looking apprehensively at the pool she dabbled her feet in, and folded its legs up in a crisscross position. "First of all, Jane, I am in no danger," it told her.

Jane looked back over at it in puzzlement. "You're not?"

The human shook his head. "Not in the slightest."

"But… he's trying to kill you." Jane stared at the human disbelievingly. "Are you saying you can't be killed?"

"No, of course not," the human scoffed. "I can die just as well as any other creature, it's just that for me it's particularly difficult. There's only two ways for me to die, actually. Maybe three. But if one takes into consideration the way Loki is approaching this whole thing, I have nothing to worry about."

"How can you be so sure?" Jane asked.

"I can't," the human replied simply. "But I'm not going to waste my time fretting about it. The way I see it, I've got at least a decade until Loki figures it out, if he does at all."

"So what do you do in a decade?" Jane asked.

The human shrugged. "Don't know. I'll figure it out as I go along."

Jane shook her head. "You are the craziest cat I've ever met."

"But not the craziest one you ever will meet," the human promised her. "Because there's still my littermates." It made a face. "Now those are the crazy ones."

"I didn't know you had siblings," Jane said.

"Eh, about a dozen or so," the human said offhandedly. "Nuisances, the whole lot." It paused, looking over at the open gate into the garden, nostrils flaring. "Is that…? Ah!" It quickly stood up and Jane realized she was sad to see it go. "Farewell, Dr. Foster," the human said briefly, bowing slightly.

"See ya," Jane replied.

The human bounced out of the garden, and just beyond the hedge it yelled, "Hey, Loki! Is that a slingshot? Oh, goody! I've missed the slingshot!"

Good lord. With such an outrageously cheerful tone, it was no wonder Loki was such a cranky guy.

xxxxv.

Loki left his bedroom, penning a few last notes into his book, and stopped, staring curiously. The human was sprawled across Loki's couch, limbs cast about at random as its chest slowly rose and fell. Ordinarily Loki would have been vexed by the human's peaceful state, but at this time he couldn't help but be intrigued. While Loki was a natural-born shapechanger, he had never turned a shape upon someone else. He was impressed with the results.

It was fascinating to see a cat's features translated onto a human form. Hints of green whiskers along the jaw line, perked ears, slightly shorter fingers and longer legs. Slanted eyes and more prominent canines. The movements were different as well. Smoother, gliding rather than walking from place to place. It had surprised Loki how quickly the cat had mastered human motor functions.

Loki shook his head sharply, irritated with himself. He was killing the cat, not studying it!

As though picking up on Loki's disturbed mood, the human stirred into wakefulness. "Good morning, Loki," it yawned, stretching luxuriously. It easily removed itself from the couch and casually placed the knife Loki had just thrown at it back into Loki's hand. "Really, Frost Midget?"

Loki scowled. "Worth a try," he muttered. "And stop calling me that, you know I hate it."

The human shrugged good-naturedly. "Give it time, it'll grow on you. Come on, Asgardian, let's go get some breakfast."

xxxxvi.

Loki froze outside his door when he heard the human's and Darcy's voices coming from behind it. He had absolutely no desire to be caught between their unusual banter full of hidden meanings (Loki was determined that this whole cross-species-allies mess was not his fault), but he wasn't going to be kept out of his own rooms either.

He decided it would be best to wait and listen before deciding upon his entry. Besides, he might get some blackmail material.

"Why would I be interested in a television program about wolves?" the human asked scornfully. "Adolescent wolves, no less!"

"Oh, come on, Danny, it's got your nicknamesake in it," Darcy said persuasively. "Plus, it's a funny show. You'll like it. If you come visit sometime, I can show you."

"Loki's not allowed to leave Asgard," the human started.

Oh no. They were not allowed to talk about Loki. The Trickster opened the door with a bang, coat whirling around him for emphasis. The human and Darcy didn't even look up. They were sitting next to each other on Loki's couch, a table dragged over with Darcy's laptop set on top of it. Darcy lifted a hand in a minor acknowledgment of Loki's arrival. "Hey, Loki."

Loki stood there for a long, awkward moment, painfully aware that his powerful entrance had been completely wasted. "Hey." Quietly he closed the door behind him, and looked at the backs of the human and Darcy's heads for a long moment.

"Darcy wishes to convince me to watch what on Midgard they call 'television shows,'" the human explained briefly. "I, personally, think that there are better things to do with the evening. Any ideas, Loki?"

"I am not participating in your mayhem," Loki said flatly.

Darcy exchanged surprised looks with the human. "Wouldn't have expected the God of Mischief to turn down a chance to stir things up," she said.

"Eh, he's more a stick in the mud than anything else," the human said dismissively. "Now, perhaps we could go out riding. I haven't done that yet and it seems to be something humans enjoy—"

"Boring," Darcy said instantly. "I still say we should stay here and watch at least the pilot episode. I'm telling you, Danny, you'll like it."

"Dinner's in a short while, we can always do a duel."

Darcy and the human slowly turned. "Loki," the human said, "are you participating?"

Loki froze. "No." He grinned. "Yes. I must say it has been far too long since I was in a good act. And though an amateur, the cat is a decent sparring partner—both physically and verbally."

"Verbally I tend to crush you, though," the human said.

"Oh, shut it, cat," Loki said dismissively. "But, why should I join you?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow. "I can't stand the either of you, so for what reason would I come alongside you?"

"Well, why not?" Darcy responded. "You guys should totally have a dinner duel again, it was awesome the last time you did it."

"We should try jumping tables through it all," the human suggested. "Or start at opposite ends of the hallway."

"Yes! Then we have an epic collision in the middle of the room!" Darcy said excitedly.

Loki shook his head in amusement. "You know, if I didn't hate the two of you so much, I'd like you."

"That really means a lot, Loki," the human said sarcastically.

"Those should be your opening lines," Darcy told them.

xxxxvii.

"Smells like cooking oil," the human remarked, leaning over the edge. Loki pulled it back and continued looping rope around it.

"That's because it is," Loki replied.

"Planning to eat me, Loki?"

"Yuck, no." Loki made a disgusted face. "You would taste appalling."

"Sorry." The human shrugged. "Comes with being a carnivore." It paused. "Hey, Frost Midget, how long have we been at this now? It's been nine months, hasn't it?"

"Approximately, yes," Loki confirmed. The human noted he didn't complain about his nickname this time. "A little over, in fact."

"Gee." The human sounded impressed. "Hardly feels like any time at all. And at the same time plenty of it."

"We're both veritably immortal, so it wouldn't make sense to feel like much time at all," Loki pointed out. He finished tying the rope and pushed the human along as they both ascended a flight of stairs. "I mean, I'm veritably immortal."

"But so much can happen in a day," the human said.

Loki paused, thinking of something. "Yes, indeed." They reached their destination and he looped a hook through the harness. He nodded at his handiwork. "Right, burning oil, here we go."

"Looks like fun," the human commented, glancing down at the vat.

"You can tell me from the afterlife," Loki said, and pushed the human off the edge. It fell a good twenty feet before finally splashing into the basin, disappearing almost immediately underneath the burning oil. Loki clapped his hands in glee, thinking that maybe at last he had gotten somewhere.

The human bobbed up a few minutes later, having wriggled out of its ropes, and directed a look of displeasure upon Loki. "Eugh, this oil is clammy!"

"Yeah, about that," Loki said. "It's going to take you hours to get off."

The human scowled. "Of course it is."

xxxxviii.

"So, what are we doing today, Loki?" the human asked, whipping a towel over its head to dispose of extra droplets. It hadn't been too thrilled to learn that regular exposures to water came with being human and clean.

"This," Loki said, lightly shaking a bag in his hand. It made a grating, jumbling noise and the human quickly concluded it was full of rocks.

"Isn't that the bag you brought in a few days ago?" the human queried, coming over to look at it curiously.

Loki batted its damp hand away. "Get your shirt on," he ordered, and with an irritated shrug the human went off. "And yes, it is the bag I brought in when you and Darcy decided to be lovers for the minute."

The human chuckled. "Good times."

"Yes, well, all good times come to an end," Loki said, sounding quite philosophical. He regarded the bag thoughtfully. The human disappeared around the corner to get its shirt, and Loki poured the contents of the bag onto the counter. Carefully he spread the rune-carved stones apart and arranged them. Singling out the ones he needed, he put the rest away.

A few chanted words and the deed was done. At least, Loki hoped so.

A terrific yowl resounded from the other room and the cat launched into the room, springing into Loki's chest and holding its location by puncturing its claws through the front of Loki's tunic. "Thankyouthankyouthankyouthan kyouthankyouthankyouthankyou THANKYOU!" it exclaimed, purring wildly.

Loki's face contorted into an expression of pain. "You're welcome," he grunted. "Now, if you would be so kind as to remove your claws?"

The cat happily detached from Loki's chest and wound circles around Loki's legs, still purring ecstatically and uttering profuse thanks. Loki stared down at it incredulously, not sure if he should be deeply touched or downright alarmed. He was leaning more toward the downright alarmed side of things.

What was this display of affection?

"Okay, that's enough adoration," the cat decided, sliding off Loki's ankles and padding for the door. "I'm going to get some fish."

Loki nodded. That was more like it.