Eren woke up with a pounding headache and a crick in his neck. His legs were cramped up uncomfortably close to his chest but not entirely on the bed. He went to stretch out his feet but instead of open space they came in contact with another body

As soon as his legs made contact, he bolted up and felt his head swim at the sudden change in position. He squinted against the bright light of the room and recognized Connie and Sasha's living room. He had been sleeping on their couch and the body on the other side of the couch was cursing and starting to sit up. As they pulled the blankets away he found himself staring at a very hungover and pissed off Jean with an awful case of bedhead.

"What the fuck, Jaeger? I was asleep!"

"I'm sorry! It's not like I meant to! I didn't know where the fuck I was." They were both glaring at each other and Jean looked like he was ready to murder Eren when Sasha walked in.

"Keep it down." She yawned widely. "Some of us are trying to sleep."

"Well I was trying to sleep too before someone kicked me."

"Jeez, I thought you two were friends now. Stop fighting."

"He kicked me!"

"Just shut up. Both of you. Be useful and make some coffee. I'm going to shower."

"What time is it?" Eren brought his hands up to knead at his temples with his fingertips.

"Almost eight in the morning and fuck you very much because we didn't get back until after two and Sasha and I had to carry your sorry ass up two flights of stairs because you fell asleep in the cab and apparently there's no waking you up once you're asleep."

"Sorry…"

"You go make the coffee. I'm staying right here."

"Yeah, fine." Eren stood up and stretched and it felt like half of his joints popped as he did so. He heard Jean mutter something about Rice Krispies and was about to walk to the kitchen when he froze. "Jean. There's no way I checked in with Mikasa did sh–"

"I texted her for you and told her you were crashing here." He pulled the blankets over his head and continued in a muffled voice. "Now go make the damn coffee."

Eren walked a few steps towards the kitchen before pausing and turning back to Jean again.

"Jean… where are my pants?" Jean pulled the blankets back angrily.

"Coffee. Go."

"But my pants…"

"I figured you'd be miserable enough this morning without having your junk being completely crushed all night."

"Thanks. But seriously, where are my pants?"

"On the armchair."

"Thanks." Eren pulled his jeans on before continuing to the kitchen to make coffee. Before he started setting up the coffee he gulped down a glass of water and then another after it was set to go. All things considered his hangover wasn't awful; it could have been far worse. He knew that the end of the night had been a bit shaky but he wasn't entirely sure what had happened. Maybe I vaguely remember being carried up the stairs?

Eren pulled his phone out of his pants pocket to check for any missed calls from Mikasa. He had a notification for two text messages; one was from Mikasa asking him to text when he woke up (he responded immediately) and the other –

Levi? Why would Levi send me a text? Oh fuck. Oh fuck, I drunk texted Levi. Not only did I drunk text Levi, I drunk texted him about someone's eyebrows and I told Levi that I wanted to fuck Eyebrows Guy. How did I not remember that immediately?

He looked at the message; it had been sent about two hours ago.

[Asshole McFuckface:] In an ideal world you aren't a fucking idiot and you're reading this some place you recognize. Drink some water.

He didn't even hesitate before texting back.

[Eren:] hey i'm really sorry about last night. i didn't go home with the guy and i just had some water.

The coffee finished with a strangled gurgling hiss and Eren went to go kick Jean off of the couch. He had heard Sasha get out of the shower a few moments before and knew that she would be on the way to the kitchen as well. Shockingly, Jean wasn't in a too-awful mood when Eren went to wake him up.

The three of them sat around the kitchen table sipping at their coffee and picking at some slightly stale bread from the bakery where Connie worked.

"So we aren't going to wake Connie up?"

"Nah, he threw up after you guys crashed and I'm pretty sure he was up for a while after. I'm glad he doesn't have any hair for me to worry about holding back. I was pretty gone myself. Which incidentally… Eren can you pretty please not tell that to Mikasa?"

"Don't worry, I'm not saying anything. If I did she would inevitably start asking questions that lead to 'I would have gone home with a guy at the bar' and I'm not in the mood to get lectured on that."

"What the hell, Eren? You were alone for all of five minutes the whole night and that was right before I grabbed you to bring you out to the cab."

"Oooh. Details Eren. Details!" Sasha was grinning at Eren and Jean groaned and rolled his eyes. "Was he cute? What did he say? Do you have his number?"

"He was blond and pretty good looking but he had massive eyebrows. We didn't talk so no, I don't have his number."

"Didn't you just say that you would have gone home with him?" Jean was staring at Eren in confusion as he tried to puzzle it out.

"He was checking me out the entire time we were at the bar and looked over at me a few times when we went back to the table. He was clearly interested and I probably would have gone for it."

"Wait. That was at the end of the night? Like, the very end? Eren, you were drunk off your ass! Jean and I had to carry you up the stairs and you were considering going home with someone? Are you fucking nuts?"

"Sasha, calm down. I didn't, so it's whatever."

"That… really isn't 'whatever' at all." Eren shifted uncomfortably under Jean's stare and hunched down to focus on his coffee mug.

"Look. Clearly I didn't even go over and ask his name so please let's just drop it." He straightened up and looked at the both them. "Please?"

They both shot him annoyed looks.

"Fine. I'm going to make some bacon." Sasha stood up from the table and went to pull out a frying pan and start it heating while she rummaged around the fridge. While she started to set things up to make eggs as well Jean spoke again.

"Before you passed out last night you said you drunk texted Levi. Should I assume that he's the one to thank for you being here and not waking up hungover in some stranger's bed?"

"Yeah. I made an ass of myself. I meant to text someone else entirely but maybe it was for the best that it was him. The person I meant to text wouldn't have replied until this morning probably."

"Did you apologize to him?"

"I texted him while I was making coffee. Turns out he sent me a message insanely early this morning checking in and telling me to drink water. Well, his version of checking in."

"What's his version?" Eren showed him the most recent text from Levi and Jean laughed. "I think I like this guy."

"Fuck off, Horseface."

"I thought you said you were going to stop calling me that." Jean shot him a sour look.

"If you're being a horse's ass I'm going to call you Horseface."

"Whatever. It's too early for this."

Eren was scrolling through his emails when his phone buzzed.

[Asshole McFuckface:] Congratulations, you aren't a complete idiot. And I decided I like the name.

[Eren:] it suits you. i am sorry about texting you though, i meant to text hanji

[Asshole McFuckface:] That answers that question.

[Eren:] didn't think i'd text you out of the blue?

[Asshole McFuckface:] I couldn't think of a single fucking reason why I would get a message about some fucker's eyebrows at one in the morning.

[Eren:] did i wake you up?

[Asshole McFuckface:] No. I'm about to finally get some sleep now.

[Eren:] up all night worried about me?

[Asshole McFuckface:] I have a job that requires me to be nocturnal most of the time.

[Eren:] well then… you were slacking off and texting me while at work? i'm flattered

[Asshole McFuckface:] Go fuck yourself. I'm not shadowing you anymore but I would be the first person who would be able to respond at night if something happened.

[Eren:] fucking christ, sorry…

[Asshole McFuckface:] Just go drink some fucking water.