Chapter X - Autumn
Author's notes: fun fact—sometimes when I'm writing 'the cat' my brain gets ahead of itself and I end up writing 'that' instead. Now you know!
Deepest apologies for taking so long to update, and alas! I cannot promise they will return to their old frequency; in fact, quite the opposite. NaNoWriMo (look it up if it's new to you) starts within the hour. and I'll be busy busy pounding away at my keyboard. I'll try to get up a chapter or two during November, but I'll really be playing things by ear.
Warnings: if anyone's been reading this far, I'm pretty sure warnings aren't even necessary anymore. Oy, I have a strange sense of humor for certain.
xxxxix.
"Loki," Thor called as he poked his head into the room. He knocked on the doorsill and Loki looked up. "Jane and Darcy are leaving," Thor explained. "I thought perhaps you could come with me to see them off?"
"Why would I do that?" Loki asked. "They're your guests, Thor, not mine."
"Yes, but," Thor pleaded. "For politeness' sake?"
Loki sighed and closed his book. "Very well," he said grudgingly.
.
"Come visit sometime," Jane invited.
"I will," Thor promised. They smiled at each other and kissed. And kissed. And continued to do so. Loki stood in the background, thinking to himself well, this is awkward. The cat sat in front of Loki, just out of range of his boot, tail curled neatly around its green-pelted paws. Darcy approached and said hello.
"I see you're a cat again," she said to the cat.
"And much the happier for it," the cat replied in no uncertain terms. "With all due respect to you, Darcy, human bodies are big and clumsy and not nearly light enough."
Darcy knelt down and smiled at the cat. "I bet you're happy to be back, huh?"
The cat looked over at Loki with a deeply approving expression. "You should turn Darcy into a cat, Loki," it suggested. "She'd be a perfect fit."
"No," Loki said flatly. "That is something I will not give a moment of consideration to."
Darcy laughed. "Nah, Danny, I don't think I'd make such a great cat."
"Don't underestimate yourse—" the cat's head whipped around. "Wait, how did you know I said that?"
Darcy chuckled and tapped the cat's nose. "Surprised? Don't be, Danny; we've been hanging out for a week, and plus, I grew up with cats."
"I can tell," the cat said. Loki thought that he could see genuine respect in the cat's eyes. But surely something like the cat couldn't have respect for anyone. "They've certainly left their mark on you, Darcy." It looked back up at Loki. "She should come here more often. Invite her, Loki."
"Not even," Loki said indignantly.
"Don't forget I know where a live eel patch is to be found, Asgardian," the cat said warningly.
Gah, those eels. Loki hated them. He really needed to see if there were any eel exterminators on Asgard. Loki cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders. "You should come visit sometime," he said smoothly.
Darcy shot the cat an amused smile as she stood and looked up at Loki. "I would love to know what he just threatened you with to get you to say that, but you're never going to tell me," she said. "Sure, I'll drop by sometime."
"Yes," the cat hissed victoriously.
Darcy glanced over to where Thor and Jane were still saying their goodbyes (aka kissing) and everyone else waited with varying degrees of impatience.
"I probably should get going," she said. "End this whole long-goodbye ordeal for everyone." She directed a parting smile at the cat. "Take care, Danny. Make sure this guy doesn't find out about the Deadly Dooms." She sauntered off.
"The Deadly Dooms?" Loki repeated, confused. Darcy rejoined Jane and regretfully pulled her away from her lover by the time he realized. "You told her how you die!" he exclaimed, staring at the cat in shock. "You told Darcy!"
"Yes, what of it?"
"I can't believe you told her and not me," Loki said, wounded.
"No offense, Frost Midget, but she's not the one trying to kill me."
"Still, considering we've known each other for more than nine months now, it's somewhat crass to—" Loki stopped. "You acknowledge that you can die," he said, hit with a second revelation within seconds.
"There's two ways," the cat said casually. "Maybe three."
"Ha! So you admit that even you are not immortal!" Loki said triumphantly.
"I've never claimed that I shan't meet Death," the cat said calmly. "Only that it will take me somewhat longer than others to get there." It stood to all four of its legs and meowed a high note. "Goodbye, Darcy!"
Darcy looked over and waved. "See ya, Danny!"
The Bifrost ignited and took Jane and Darcy back to their homeworld. Thor sighed heavily and turned away, likely vowing to himself that he would see his dearest again soon. The handful of others drifted out of the observatory, but of course Heimdall remained at his post by the observatory's door. Odin stayed behind with him to talk, probably reminisce, while the others journeyed back to the palace.
The cat stopped at one point and to Loki's bewilderment began to prance around on the Bifrost. "What are you doing?" he demanded as the cat sprang about.
"I just realized," the cat said, "the lights change as you land on them. It's extraordinary!"
Loki shook his head in exasperation and continued on.
"Simple pleasures, Loki," the cat called after him. "They're the best in life!"
l. (omg! 50!)
After Darcy and Jane's departure, it was time for dinner. Thor, of course, picked at his food with a forlorn expression, missing Jane already. Volstagg and Fandral sorrowfully mentioned something about 'no more chick flicks,' whatever that meant. Frigga and Odin seemed just as perfect and removed as ever, neither relieved that the Midgardians were gone nor grieved by their absence. Loki had always wondered how they could remain so neutral.
Loki picked at his food, too, lost in thought. The cat, sitting up on the table with a bowl of fish (and stealing from Loki's plate whenever he wasn't looking), soon remarked on it. "You know, Loki, one would think you were the one missing a lover." It paused. "Although, if by 'missing' one meant 'lacking,' that would be rather accurate."
"Lovers are ridiculous notions of sentiment," Loki said disdainfully. Thor started violently down the table, and then realized Loki was talking to the cat. Still, he shot his brother a deeply disapproving frown.
"If you say so," the cat shrugged. "Personally, I believe a woman would fix a lot of your problems. Your general disagreeableness, for one."
"That is not a problem," Loki replied. The cat snorted, and reached a paw up to its face when the bit of fish it had been eating shot up the wrong tube.
"Judging by the piece of fish lodged in my sinuses, I am highly in doubt of that statement," the cat said. Its face contorted and it made some rather unhealthy noises whilst it tried to get the fish to where it belonged, in the cat's stomach. Loki grimaced and covered his ears, teeth gritting.
Fandral watched the exchange with some amusement. "Looks like another dinner duel is in the air," he remarked. His face turned sad. "Oh wait, you can't do those anymore."
"Oh yes, we can't," the cat remembered. "Shame. It was always such a pleasure to attack you with a carrot stick." It released one last unholy hacking. "There, got it."
Loki rolled his eyes. "I'm seriously considering turning you back into a human just so I can beat you in a dinner duel."
"Oh, come on, Loki, you've made the best decision. I'm happier, you're slightly less aggravated, and everyone else is back to wondering what on Asgard we're talking about."
Loki nodded, noting the vaguely bewildered expressions around the table—particularly Fandral, Volstagg, and Thor. "Good point."
The cat smirked. "Personally, that's always been a favorite of mine," it admitted.
Loki grinned, some long-lost mischief dancing in his eyes. "Yes," he agreed, "mine, too."
Dinner went on for ages, as it always did on Asgard. The cat several times tried to strike up conversation with people before remembering that they couldn't hear it anymore. Eventually it settled on terrorizing the servants, which Loki approved of (though of course he would never say that he approved of anything the cat did). Then its demeanor changed toward the end of the evening, and the servants immediately forgot their distrust of Loki's cat. Loki was irritated by the fact that if he did the same thing, he would instantly be held in doubt.
It had to be a cat thing.
Loki excused himself from the banquet hall early, as he always did, and the cat hopped down and trotted after, meowing a farewell to the feasters. Loki told himself that he had stayed much later than he ought to, yawning at least a dozen times before reaching his quarters. The cat was no better, frequently shaking its head to clear the growing fog.
The cat started to make its way to the couch. "You don't have to sleep there anymore," Loki reminded it. "You can fit in your bed now."
"Oh, that's right," the cat said, yawning. "I keep forgetting." It slowly made its way over to its bed-box and flopped down, burrowing under the blanket and curling into a little ball, as only a cat could.
Loki dragged himself over to his bed and nose-dived into the blankets. He told himself he really ought to get up and change into his pajamas. But he was tired and really didn't want to move.
"So nice to have a tail again," the cat mumbled contentedly, and soon both of them had fallen fast asleep.
li.
"Hmm," said Loki. His brow furrowed and he frowned as he tapped the information before him.
"Does this relate to you stabbing me with a needle earlier today?" the cat inquired, hopping up on the desk. Loki shoved it off.
"Yes," he said. "The results are proving to be quite curious. Every cell in your tiny cat body is bursting with magic, but that simply isn't logical."
"Did you just use magic and logical in the same sentence?" the cat asked in amusement. "Because, last I checked, sorcery isn't supposed to make sense."
"There is a way things are, cat, certain rules that do not change," Loki argued. "With the amount of magical power you apparently possess, there isn't a way it shouldn't manifest itself or I shouldn't be able to detect it." He looked down and tapped the table again. "Unless somehow this is what keeps you alive."
"Score for deductive skills, to Loki," the cat said dryly. "You figured that out all on your own. I'm impressed."
Loki frowned at it. "You've already confirmed that there are at least three ways to kill you," he said. "You even told Ms. Lewis what they were. It is only a matter of time before I learn what they are."
"And then I'm off to play chess with the Reaper," the cat said uncaringly. "Clearly I'm terrified by the prospect."
lii.
Loki stepped into the bathroom and started when he saw the cat sitting on the counter, making hideous faces in the mirror. "What are you doing?" he asked incredulously.
"Can't you tell?" the cat responded. "I'm checking my teeth; good expressions go entirely to waste when there are bits of food stuck between one's teeth."
"Yes, but," Loki said, "you never used to come into my bathroom and stare at your teeth. You didn't care." Loki's eyebrows rose. "You picked that up when you were human," he realized, and understood finally that while the stint as a human had lasted for only a week, the mannerisms the cat had picked up would likely last for years. Loki groaned and ground his forehead into his fist. Why, why hadn't he taken the time to think of these kind of things?
"Oh, by the way," the cat told Loki as it hopped down from the counter and left the bathroom, "you're out of toothpaste."
"You don't even need toothpaste!" Loki shouted after it. The cat indifferently went on. What Loki had said wasn't necessarily true; the cat did have terrible, fishy breath but that didn't by any means suggest that Loki was willing to share his toothpaste with it. Loki shared his toothpaste with no one.
liii.
Loki released an indignant eep of surprise when he awoke to find the cat curled on the foot of his bed. "It's cold," it said.
"We've been through this," Loki said flatly.
"No, I mean colder than usual. I really don't know why you thought putting my bed on the balcony was a good idea, it was only going to lead to this."
"Bah, it's not half as cold as you complain it to be," Loki said derisively.
"Well, you go out on the balcony, then."
"I will," Loki retorted. He quickly hopped out of bed and the moment his foot came in contact with the balcony he slipped on a sheet of ice. "Cold!" he cried in shock.
"Told you!" the cat exclaimed.
liv.
"Somebody's been visiting the smithy lately," the cat observed, viewing the pointy-ended weapons spread across Loki's quarters. "Or just snuck in and emptied the whole thing out." It considered a row of shining needles. "Are you planning to kill me with acupuncture?"
"No, just puncture," Loki replied. He regarded the knife he was sharpening. "And possibly sever."
"Ah, off with my head, I see," the cat nodded. "This should have interesting results."
"Oh, I'm sure it will," Loki grinned. He was very happy to be back to business as usual.
lv.
"Where are you going?" the cat inquired as Loki slipped a coat over his shoulders.
"Out for a walk," Loki replied.
"Bit cold for that, isn't it?"
"Which is precisely why I'm going out," Loki returned. "Less stupid people to deal with." He pulled on a pair of black gloves to go with his green overcoat and grabbed a scarf, which he wound around his neck. He then neatly tucked his trousers' legs into his boots and left the room. Only somewhat interested, the cat followed after.
Loki's walk took him outside of the palace and to the lower slopes of a mountain within an hour. The cat for unknown reasons had stayed with him, amusing itself by chasing after whatever little creatures caught its eye, sometimes including small children. Loki hoped a hawk would come and carry the little feline away.
The cat stopped walking and looked up, its expression something like awe. "So this is what it looks like up close," it said.
"What?" Loki glanced over at it questioningly.
"Autumn," the cat replied. "It's usually quite distant. I never knew the trees were so big. And colorful." Its fur bristled as a northern wind swept through, claws digging slightly into the earth. Loki tucked his chilling nose (oh please don't let it be turning blue!) into his scarf. The wind sent the leaves blustering along, and in a gesture of typical cattiness, the cat pounced upon the largest one it could reach. It purred in amusement, released the leaf, and chased after, pouncing on it again.
Loki moved along at a more sedate pace. Autumn was indeed colorful; in fact it was Thor's favorite season because of all the reds. Loki loved it because it was a precursor to his own favorite season, winter. Ironic, wasn't it. Sometimes Loki's Jotun traits were so obvious that he was exasperated with himself for not realizing it before.
"Well, I must say I rather like autumn!" the cat exclaimed happily. As though to scoff at its cheery sentiment, the heavens opened up and sent down torrents of freezing rain.
Loki gasped in shock and hugged himself in a vain attempt to keep warm. He glared at the cat, which had yowled in surprise and bolted for the nearest tree, vainly seeking shelter. "Oh, you had to say it," he growled, and the cat shivered as its fur soaked through. Though it wouldn't ever die from the pneumonia, wet and cold were its two miseries and right now it was suffering both of them.
Loki picked up the wretched creature and carried it over to a coniferous tree, underneath which he and the cat both huddled as they waited for the storm to ease. Lightning started flashing, and Loki could tell it was the natural kind.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't it be a good idea to get away from trees right now?" the cat asked.
"You're not wrong," Loki replied. "It'll just take us two hours to get back home."
"Two hours running through the rain," the cat groaned. "Or innumerable hours sitting here and then two more running through the rain. Neither is appealing, but I think the choice is obvious."
"Obvious, indeed," Loki agreed. "Let's go." He ducked out from under the tree and started running, the cat sprinting alongside him. The two eventually reached the palace, fur and clothes respectively holding enough water to overflow a dam. They stood shivering inside the much warmer palace and began to slosh their way back to their rooms, but an unexpected Frigga appeared.
"Oh, Loki, I was so worried!" she exclaimed. "I knew that you had gone out for a walk, and when the rain started…"
"I can handle a little water, Moth—Frigga," Loki replied, swiping a dripping hand across his face.
"A little?" Frigga repeated. "Loki, you are a walking lagoon. And your poor cat is no better."
"Yes, don't forget his 'poor cat'," the cat said.
"Come along, son," Frigga said, ignoring Loki's indignant huff. "There's a warm fire, and I've set out a fresh change of clothes for you and some towels for the cat."
"Mother—Frigga, I'm fine," Loki whined, trying to pull away.
Frigga smiled humorously, and for a moment one could see where Loki got his mischief from. "There's hot chocolate," she said persuasively.
Loki let out a reluctant grumble. "Fine," he muttered, and allowed himself to be led along by Frigga, the cat sloshing behind.