Author's notes: man oh man oh man, where did the time go? Have something festive to start off your 2013! :-D
lvi.
Loki looked up from the book he was reading (Midgard and its Peculiarities) and frowned. "Cat, why are you on my head?"
"I don't know, I feel as if we're returning from a long absence and it's been a while since I've aggravated you." The cat's tail somehow swung far enough around to tickle Loki's nose.
The Asgardian frowned. "You're certainly making up for lost time," he remarked dryly. He looked over at the blizzard spinning around his balcony, appearing as a manic dance. "When did winter reach us?" he mused. "How quickly the festive time goes."
"Festive?" the cat echoed.
Thor came in, bouncing eagerly. "Brother!" he boomed. "Jane has invited us to join her and her friends for Christmas!" Still beaming, he added, "I have no idea what that means, but it sounds magnificent."
"Your brother's as mind-numbingly cheerful as a dog," the cat noted.
"I've been living with him for a thousand years, you think I don't already know that?" Loki muttered, turning another page of his book and paying Thor no mind.
"Do you know anything of Christmas, Loki?' Thor asked. "I know it is important to Jane, and so…"
"Midgardian winter solstice celebration," Loki replied. "Usually celebrated in the company of family and close friends. It is traditional to decorate a coniferous tree, roast a goose, and present each other gifts."
"Very much like a yearly celebration," Thor observed. "Except it is for everyone!"
Loki nodded and turned another page. The cat stuck a paw in his eye. Loki frowned.
"It sounds wonderful," Thor said happily. "And Jane has invited the entire family—"
Thor found himself invisibly shoved from the room, Loki glowering at him. "I said the forbidden word, didn't I," Thor realized.
The door slammed shut. Thor sighed.
The cat nicked at Loki's nose absently. "That'll be all of them away," it said. "Thor, Frigga and Odin, Sif and the Warriors Three… and then there's us, sitting on heads and reading books while a global party is being carried out."
"Well, not much point in us going, is there?" Loki returned. "A family celebration requires family. Besides, I've better things to do with my time than wasting it on sentimental festivities."
"Aye, like sitting here reading about them."
Loki snapped his book shut and scowled. A quiet knock sounded on his door, and Loki barked an irate admittance. Thor poked his head around the corner, joined by Frigga and Odin.
"Loki," Thor said tentatively. "We want you to come with us, to Jane's."
"Now that is hardly true," Loki answered sardonically. "I have no place in a family activity."
He started when the cat slapped him in the face, claws extended. "Stop putting so much effort into being a Scrooge, Loki," it reprimanded him. "It failed him in the end, too."
Loki scowled again and grabbed the cat by the scruff, flinging it away. "I have no interest in such a foolish holiday," he snarled vehemently.
"I'm making my special pudding," Frigga offered. Loki loved her pudding and she knew it.
But a fit of stubbornness had taken hold of Loki, and he shook his head. "No. No, no, no, I have no care for this ridiculous Midgardian tradition!"
"Bah, humbug," the cat added dryly.
"Now, out!" Loki commanded, and with an angry spell thrust his not-family out the door. There was no attempt to return. No intimidating HUARGH from Odin. Loki sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Hang it all, I've done it again," he said regretfully.
"You really should speak to a therapist about your problem with compulsive unfriendliness," the cat advised.
"I don't need a therapist," Loki said indignantly.
The cat snorted. "Sure you don't, and I'm Hati the Moon-chaser."
Loki sank back down in his chair, staring ahead glumly.
"Well, at least you've got me," the cat said helpfully. It had reclaimed its position on top of Loki's head. "The one creature you've been trying with all your might to slay."
Now it was Loki's turn to snort. "Yes, that makes up for everything," he said sarcastically. He shrugged, trying to convince himself it didn't matter all that much. "I don't deserve to partake in such happy occasions, anyway."
He sprang backward in shock, the cat calmly clinging to his skull, when Thor burst into the room, Loki's door shattering beneath Mjolnir's impact.
"Thor—!"
"I don't care if you want it or not, brother, you are coming with us!" Thor declared. He promptly slung his squawking little brother over his shoulder and started carrying him out of the room.
"Alright, fine!" Loki snapped. "Just put me down, Thor, I must change into something more suitable."
"Bifrost, ten minutes," Thor said. He pointed at Loki and lifted his brows. "Be there."
"Yes, yes, I will," Loki replied grouchily. "Now go away."
Thor left and Loki went into his massive wardrobe.
"That grin could rival Hati's, whenever he does catch up with that moon," the cat remarked.
"Shut up, cat," Loki said, his smile never fading.
lvii.
Loki looked over at Thor and Jane and made a disgusted face. "Repulsive."
"Vexing your sense of hygiene, eh, Frost Midget?" the cat quipped. It appeared to be quite comfortable with the perch it had claimed atop the (eleventh) Christmas turkey. Fandral reached for a roasted leg and had his fingers batted away. He and the cat leveled looks at each other.
"It's such a clingy, sentimental obsession," Loki complained. His eyebrows bounced. "Literally clingy. What is it about a piece of vegetation hanging in a doorway that invokes this mayhem?" He slid a suspicious look over at Darcy. "And why have you been following me around with a similar plant all day?"
Darcy shrugged. "I may or may not have a bet with one of my coworkers."
"A bet? Ooh, let's hear it," the cat said eagerly. It hissed at Fandral, who recoiled and then directed a grin at the cat.
Darcy looked over at Loki. "No, he can't hear it," she said.
The cat craned its neck forward. "Well, then."
Darcy leaned over and whispered into its ear. Loki pouted. "I hate it when you two share secrets."
"It'd help if you weren't such a stick in the mud," the cat pointed out. Loki stuck out his tongue. "Attractive, Frost Midget."
Fandral was watching the looks passing between Loki and the cat with glee. "Dinner duel?" he asked hopefully.
1viii.
"Okay everybody, time for the presents!" Jane called. The group moved from the tables to the family room, wherein a massive tree concealed gifts within and underneath its boughs.
"You first, Jane," Thor said generously. He searched for one with her name and brought it to her. Jane pulled back the carefully folded wrapping paper and gasped.
"Thor, this is exactly—how did you know?" Jane laughed and hugged Thor. "Thank you!"
"Uh, I did not…"
"Oh. My. Gosh." Darcy stared at the book in her hands. "This is—I've been searching for this book for years! First edition, pristine condition, been out of print for more than twenty years… Who is this from?"
"I believe this is what you Midgardians refer to as a Secret Santa," Loki said.
"No kidding!" Darcy exclaimed. "Whoever found this is good!" She shot a suspicious look at Jane.
The gifts continued, bearing wonderful sentimentality (Thor lit brighter than Asgard when Jane gave him a massive box of Poptarts), and each and every of the Secret Santa's being terribly accurate.
Fandral found the last one, addressed to himself. "A new coat of mail?" he questioned in surprise. "Why would I be given this?"
Loki held up the coat and thrust a spear of ice towards it. The spear shattered. "That's why," he said.
Silence. "It was you," Thor whispered in amazement.
Fandral's eyes filled with tears and he leaped up to seize Loki in a hug. "Thank you, Loki," he said emotionally. "If anyone dares slander your name after this, I shall fight them to the death!"
"That's very noble of you, Fandral," Loki replied. "Now stop touching me."
Fandral nodded and stepped away, picking up his gift and setting it with the moustache care kit from Darcy.
"Well, that was touching," the cat remarked.
"Fandral was nearly killed by a Frost Giant," Loki explained. "Don't look at me like that, it wasn't my fault."
"Hey Danny, there's one left for you," Darcy said. She crawled partway under to pull out a small green box labeled cat in neat penmanship.
"Now this is an interesting turn of events," the cat said. It hooked its claws over the lid and pulled it off. "A box full of fish bones for me to choke on." The cat blinked up at Loki. "You really are the sweetest."
"Oh, that's just a bit of fun, really," Loki chuckled. "The real trick was conjuring up thirteen turkeys. The bow ties and such made it especially difficult."
"Bow ties?" Darcy stared at the cat. "You introduced him to Doctor Who?"
"How could I not?" the cat replied. "And why else do you think I claimed the eleventh turkey?"
"The Christmas episode aired a week ago, I've already got it pirated," Darcy said. "Wanna go watch?"
"Seems fair to me," Loki answered. The three of them disappeared into the deeper sections of the house.
Jane looked over at Thor. "You know, if all three of them start getting along, they'll become a real trio of terror," she said.
"Perhaps introducing them to each other wasn't the best idea, after all," Thor agreed.
lix.
Dr. Selvig and Odin had disappeared at some point. Neither Thor nor Jane knew where they had gone or what they were doing, but Frigga and Volstagg wore expressions of equal knowingness. When Frigga also vanished from the group, Volstagg caught himself grinning and quickly focused on his boar.
Occasional howls could be heard from where Loki, Darcy, and the cat had retreated to. The first few times Thor had gone dashing down the hall to see if his brother was alright, but Loki would irritably push him out of the room while Darcy called, "We're okay, Thor, it's just feelings."
"Just feelings?" Thor blinked at Loki. "Loki, are you crying?"
"No," Loki said indignantly. "Now go away!"
"Terrible things are happening in fiction, and that's far more interesting."
Thor was booted out, and he rejoined Jane. They sat on the couch and quietly conversed, gazing into each other's eyes. Before Jane, Thor had never been so gentle.
The Warriors Three and Sif engaged in an enthusiastic game of Sorry, in which they were not apologetic at all. Various duels and scuffles broke out. Fandral, despite being four hundred years younger and nearly half his opponent's size, persisted in attempting to tackle Volstagg. It was a game that had gone on between them for nearly as long as they had known each other; and the chokeholds and punches were entirely out of a spirit of fun.
Odin, Frigga, and Selvig returned sometime later, all regarding each other with respect and behaving much more at ease. Fandral promptly sat up straight (no, of course he wasn't rolling all over the floor like a fifty-year-old), but Odin cracked a grin. He glanced over at Frigga.
"Remember that?" he asked.
"You and your father, and the time your silly wrestling broke one of the great statues?" Frigga responded. "It is somewhat difficult to forget. You were four thousand at the time, if I recall correctly."
Thor burst out laughing. "You destroyed a great statue?"
Odin chuckled. "They were good times."
He and Frigga sat down on the other couch, she curling into the place in his side that would always be there for her. He kissed her on the forehead and they watched the fire.
"It's only too bad that it's not actually Christmas day," Jane said regretfully.
"That's alright," Volstagg assured her. "It is the feasting season, and a day."
"So well enough!" Fandral added perkily.
Jane giggled. Then she frowned. "I'm so sorry I couldn't think of presents for all of you," she apologized.
"Jane, you invited us to your home," Thor said.
"Selvig's," Jane corrected him.
"Selvig's home, which may as well be yours, for you are a daughter to him," Thor replied. "You have extended the most gracious hospitality, invited us to partake of a yearly feast that is dear to you, and made us most welcome indeed. That is gift aplenty for all of us."
The Asgardians all nodded. Even Loki, who had returned with Darcy and the cat. No, he had not been crying. Loki never cried, no sir.
"You said also that this marks the beginning of another Midgardian year," Sif said.
"In most parts, yes," Jane confirmed.
"What sort of traditions come with this?" Loki inquired.
"Well, the most common—and failed—one is year's resolutions," Darcy told him. "You know, "This year I resolve to be a better such-and-such, to be kinder, less evil, eat more, whatever. It can be ridiculous or inspirational, but it's always intended toward changing yourself."
"That sounds sufficiently Midgardian," Loki sniffed. "I am already perfect."
The cat snorted. "Perfect? Haha, Loki, I'm already choking on one of the fish bones you gave me."
Loki grinned. "Glad you're liking the present so much already," he said.
lx.
Midnight was fast approaching. Darcy glanced out her window and frowned. "No snow on Christmas, no snow on New Year's," she muttered. "That ain't right."
"Thor had to use Mjolnir to push through the snowdrifts on our way to the Bifrost," Loki told the woman as he stepped alongside, staring out at the night. He found the Midgardian tradition of colorful lighting of houses to be rather charming.
"I'd love some of that!" Darcy exclaimed. She shrugged. "But oh well, what can you do?"
The cat pricked Loki's ankle with its claws. "A-HEM," it grunted pointedly. Loki shot it an irritated glare of alright, fine.
"No snow?" he asked Darcy, looking back out the window again. "Are you sure?"
Darcy turned around and her mouth dropped open. Snow was falling from the sky, slowly at first and then in thick white clusters. "Snow!" she shrieked. "How—?"
Loki shrugged. "Frost Giant sorcerer," he replied. "It has its perks."
"SNOOOOOOOOOOOW!"
lxi.
Somehow Loki and Thor had caught on that fireworks were part of beckoning in the new year and adamantly refused to watch them on the television. "You deserve a true spectacle, and I shall not stand by and permit you to not have it," Loki said determinedly.
The cat smirked in approval. "This is going to be good."
"Oh, yes it is, cat. Thor, I'm going to need your hammer…"
.
Needless to say, fireworks would never be the same.