Author's notes: Writing two nameless male cats iT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME.

Also, to those who guessed that Clint was the boyfriend mentioned in the previous chapter... eeheeheehee I blame Findango. *glares for making life even more complicated for this multishipper*

lxxxvi.

Each green-coated paw was placed with the utmost care. Eyes were stretched wide, black pupils almost completely obscuring blue irises. The tail was held still, ears and whiskers pricked forward. The cat silently cheered itself. So far the bird it was hunting was unaware of its presence.

"Hello there, brother!" A noisy yowl accompanied the obnoxiously friendly greeting, and the cat scrambled back as its brother landed squarely in front of it. The bird spooked and flew away. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I was hunting," the cat snapped, its fur prickling in vexation. It glared at the other feline and turned sharply, stalking away. The brother looked after it with a befuddled expression.

It had always been this way with the two cats. While they got along relatively well with the rest of their littermates, between these two there was always conflict of some sort. The brother didn't understand it. It drove the cat mad.

At first or even third glance, one wouldn't think they were littermates. The cat was slender and sleek, with deep green fur and icy blue eyes. Its brother was big-boned and longhaired, almost twice the cat's size. Its pelt was coal black, excepting the power blue stockings and underside of its chin, and its eyes were still undecided on color, the sign of a cat without bond.

As far as personalities went… well, the cat had always considered itself to be a more refined creature. Its brother, on the other hand, was barbarously friendly. Practically a dog. And the cat didn't dole out a description like that lightly.

Why had the cat's brother come here? It couldn't believe that Mother had turned traitor. She was always too insistent that they "get along." Ugh.

Since hunting wasn't going to happen (not with that imbecile around), the cat figured it may as well get some lunch the ordinary way. Loki usually wasn't negligent when it came to filling the cat's bowl with tuna or similar things around mealtimes. He said he only did it because he didn't have anything better to do, naturally.

Its brother had already eaten it. The cat blinked down at the empty bowl with a feeling akin to horror. It turned its head to where Loki was sitting, sipping tea and reading a book on Jotun agriculture. "Could you not tell it wasn't me eating out of my own bowl?!"

"It's your brother," Loki responded, unfazed by the cat's wrath. "You deal with him." The Asgardian looked away from his book, cocking an eyebrow as he turned his gaze to the cat. "You're not actually expecting me to help you, are you? I'm trying to kill you, remember."

"Of course I'm not expecting your help," the cat said sulkily. "I can handle that idiot on my own." The cat straightened up, glaring in the direction of the door. Then its gaze slid over as it realized that the sun had broken through for a change, right on its bedbox. "But first, I'm going to take a nap."

"As you wish." Loki turned another page.

The cat stepped into the bedbox, turning several times before curling up on the rumpled fabric. It tucked its chin in and covered its nose with its tail. Yes, a nap would be just the thing. Sleep was such a wonderful—

"Asleep already? It's the middle of the day?"

The cat growled, refusing to open its eyes. "Go away."

A paw smashed into its face. "Oh, come on, brother! The day has barely begun!"

The cat's eyes snapped open, pupils barely visible as it stared up at its brother. Lips had pulled back to bare sharp teeth. "Don't touch me."

"Oh, don't be that way."

The cat twisted out from under its brother's paws and boxed his head. Its brother, of course, saw this as a game, and bowled the cat right over. Loki bit his lip and ducked behind his book to hide his laughter.

lxxxvii.

The cat put up with its brother's antics for three full days. For three full days, it didn't sleep a wink. On the evening of the fourth, it finally gave up and went to Loki. He was reading a different book by now, The Finer Points of Shapeshifting by Miss Teek.

"Frost Midget."

"Mmm?"

"I need to get rid of my brother."

"Indeed."

The cat jumped up onto Loki's armchair, pulling the book down and sitting on it so Loki couldn't keep reading. Loki frowned at the feline's treatment of the book, but the cat was well beyond caring. "I can't make him leave no matter what I do," the cat confessed. It grimaced. "Loki, I need your help."

Loki arched two eyebrows upward. Oh, he was enjoying this. "What could someone such as myself do?"

"You're the god of harassing people, Loki," the cat said exasperatedly. It gave him a pointed look. "Think of something."

Loki grinned wickedly. "My pleasure."

lxxxviii.

"What exactly made you so certain that coming to me for help was going to work?" Loki queried. The Trickster chuckled. "You must have been truly desperate."

"I dislike annoyances. And if there's anything you are, Loki, it's stubborn. You're more likely than I am to come up with an effective method of driving my brother away, what with your persistence." The cat licked a paw and smoothed its ears. "Besides, I knew that this was an opportunity you'd never pass up."

"You knew?" Loki tsked, shaking his head as he withdrew a small golden rod from one of his coat's inner pockets. Waving his hand over it, it shimmered and began to transform. "Presumptuous creature. It so happens that I needed a volunteer for a test, and since you were occupied with entertaining your relative, I was willing to bide my time."

"So I'm still right." The cat climbed to an overhead perch and peered down at Loki. More specifically, at the weapon Loki was unlocking. "Isn't that the scepter you misused on Barton? The Glowstick of Destiny, I think Stark liked to call it."

Loki sighed, massaging his temples with one hand. "He would call it that. But this, cat, is a spear—I am not nearly stupid enough to go about making scepters while Odin is still king over Asgard."

"But it could be a scepter."

"Yes, it could. However, it is a spear. Not intended for the control of other beings, by the way, that was just an unexpected bonus." Loki finished unlocking the weapon, the golden device almost equal to his height. He smirked, the blue light of the spear's crystal glinting in his eyes. "Its true purpose is a little more… shall we say, dramatic."

"There he is." The cat and Loki both ducked out of sight as the cat's brother appeared, heading for the full dish of fish that had been left out as bait. The cat's ears flattened, a vengeful look on its face. "This is the last time you'll be eating out of my dish, dog."

"Dog?" Loki glanced up at the cat. "Isn't that taking things a bit far?"

"No."

Loki looked back to the other cat. It was comfortably settled in by now, consuming fish with enthusiasm as its blue-tipped tail swayed happily. The cat kept twitching, black whiskers bristling with irritation. Loki focused in on the spear, and commanded.

A pulse of bright blue, doubly lethal energy exploded from the points of the blades conjoining at the spear's crystal. It engulfed the entire area where the cat's brother sat, filling the air with the smell of burnt fish and kilns. When the smoke cleared, the bowl and half the floor were gone, but the cat's brother was undamaged, just as Loki had expected. Surely it would understand by now that it was unwelcome.

"Golly! That was fun, brother!"

The cat groaned, holding its head with its paws. Loki patted its back sympathetically. "No good. He's too stupid to realize that he should be dead."

Loki decided not to mention the fact that he had been holding back. His purpose in helping the cat was to drive the brother away, after all, not to kill him. "And I thought Thor was bad," the sorcerer said lightly. "Plan B, then.

lxxxix.

Plan B didn't work out. Neither did plans C, D, E, F, Q, or Z. Or any of the others. The cat didn't quite seem to understand why there was a Plan &.

Loki woke up in a rather disgruntled manner, due to the brother taking the cat's place on his feet and the cat sleeping on his face. He threw them both off of the bed, snapping that he didn't share his sleeping quarters with furry pests.

"You share with me," the cat pointed out. It yawned and ducked as Loki threw slippers at it.

"My face is not a pillow. Now, both of you, out!" With a gesture Loki pushed them out of the bedroom and slammed the door shut, locking it in the process. The cat glared over at its brother.

"This is all your fault," it accused. "Those feet were hard-won."

"We could have easily shared, brother," the cat's sibling pointed out. "His feet are certainly big enough."

"That's not the point!" The cat was clearly upset. This was not a good way to start its day, getting tossed around for something its brother had done. It was just like when they were kits. And the cat was tired of his overbearing, sweet brother intruding. "He's mine, don't you get it?! I'm the one who can speak to him, I'm the one who drives him mad day and night, and he is mine.Especially those stupid big feet."

The brother blinked at it. Was he finally starting to get it? The other cat shuffled nervously, its head drooping. "Then, where am I supposed to go?"

"Somewhere else." The cat glared at its silent brother before stalking away, ignoring the distressed look its littermate sent after it. On the other side of the door, Loki's thumb and index finger pinched the edge of his chin thoughtfully. Mine, eh? the Trickster mused. The cat was either forgetting itself as it snapped, or it was simply saying things for the sake of manipulation.

Strangely enough, Loki found the latter to be more doubtful. He was such an odd one, that cat.

"Mine," he murmured to himself. The prince shook his head and went about preparations for the day. No doubt Thor would come breezing in soon, ecstatic about the swift-approaching arrival of his lover, Jane. Loki hadn't interacted much with Jane. She seemed to be both a wise and energetic woman—and she wasn't at all fazed by Thor, which Loki thought to be an important trait. Most people seemed incapable of seeing any flaws in the Thunderer, but Loki had caught her privately criticizing him a few times.

The sorcerer was more expecting Jane's companion, however. Despite the rocky nature of Loki and Darcy Lewis' first meeting, and the fact that she was no more than a mortal, Loki (and the cat) had developed a strange sort of rapport with the woman. Her quirky attitude and the casual way in which she responded to magic and, well, Asgard, made it clear that she was different from other Midgardians Loki had encountered in the past. She also possessed a keen love for mischief and a high level of understanding with the cat despite being unable to hear it.

Quite honestly, Loki liked Darcy. She was just the sort of person he had always wished was around during his younger years. She was more than a little late, but it was hardly her fault for having such a short lifespan.

Thor came breezing in just as expected, and ecstatic was just the right word for his current mood. He was so elated, Loki wondered that his feet didn't lift off the floor right then and there. The brother was snoozing on the fireside rug, but the cat was nowhere to be seen. The two Asgardians went out to Heimdall's observatory, joined at the gate by Frigga.

The Allmother had become rather fond of Jane. A good thing, Loki supposed, but that wasn't really his concern. Thor went out to welcome Jane as the Bifrost went back to rest. Frigga was only a few steps behind. Loki paused at the entrance as he noticed the cat sulking atop the observatory.

"So, tell me more about this 'brother' character." Loki didn't flinch as he looked over at Darcy, due to his sensing her approach. As much as Darcy loved exchanging witty banter with the prince, there were times she cut immediately to the chase. Loki appreciated that.

"He seems to be causing the cat a great deal of frustration," Loki replied. "I'd keep him around just for that, but the count of shredded furniture is getting rather high."

"And now you're fresh out of ideas. Hm." Darcy rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Sounds like a challenge. Where is Danny, anyway?"

"Up there." Loki pointed. "Sulking."

"I'm not sulking," the cat protested. He pouted. "And did you really have to tell her everything?"

"Of course he had to tell me." Again, Loki found himself wondering how Darcy always knew. The woman shivered slightly, pulling her scarf up tighter around her throat. "Now, as for the plan—"

"Oh, who's this?"

Loki and Darcy turned, and the cat dropped down from above to see what had Jane so interested. Loki was surprised to see the brother awake again already. The two-colored cat noticed Jane's attention and pranced over, purring loudly as he rubbed against the woman's legs. Jane exclaimed in delight.

Loki snickered at the cat's mortified expression. "Dog, dog, dog."

"Aww," said Jane, kneeling down to scratch the brother under his powder-blue chin. "Who's a handsome kitty?"

"You have got to be kidding me," the cat said flatly. Loki snickered again, and Darcy did the same.

The brother was obviously smiling, his eyes half-lidded as Jane kept scratching his chin. She stopped, switching over to rub behind his ears. The brother put up a paw to stop her, and Jane blinked in surprise down at eyes the same shade of brown as hers.

"I—I can hear him!" she stammered. "Thor, when you hear a cat, doesn't that mean…" She picked the brother up and planted a kiss on the top of his head. "Oh, thank you."

The brother practically blushed. Thor laughed, both surprised and pleased, and he and Jane left with the brother in tow. Frigga chuckled for some reason as she followed from a distance. Loki, Darcy, and the cat exchanged looks.

"Well," said Loki. "So much for that grand scheme."

Darcy shrugged as she picked up her bags, passing some of them to Loki. "You said something about cookies a few days ago, right? I brought Lord of the Rings."

"Lord of the what?"

"Bake me some cookies and you'll find out."

"Try not to mix up the iocane and baking powder again," the cat advised. He went several paces ahead as Loki carried one pack and Darcy the other.

lxxxx.

"So, Lord of the Rings—epic or epic?" Darcy grinned over at Loki as they walked down the Bifrost. They could have taken horses, but neither had felt particularly inclined. Just a few minutes less of watching Thor and Jane being "grossly cute," as Darcy put it.

"I would have to say that the Lord of the Rings is an epic tale, indeed," Loki agreed. "Although they would have gotten to Mordor much faster if they had a Trickster in their company."

"Or a cat."

"Or a Darcy." Darcy nodded solemnly. She looked over at Loki again. "Those packs aren't too heavy, are they?"

Loki snorted. "Asgardian, remember? I'm physically superior to you in every way."

"Except for the part where you're a guy."

"HA! She got you there, Frost Midget!"

Loki glared at them both before allowing his features to relax into a smile, and they shared a laugh. Secretly, he thought to himself that he would miss having Darcy around.

.

"Well, we'd better get going," Jane said as she saw Darcy enter the observatory, accompanied by Loki and the cat. She smiled down at the large cat sitting by her feet. "And Jazz is coming with us."

"Jazz?" Loki and the cat both echoed.

"Jane was in a video call with Eric last night," Darcy explained. "He had jazz playing in the background. Danny's brother took a real liking to it, so here we are. You know, Danny, your brother's not that bad. Just really, really friendly for a cat. He's a perfect fit for Jane, though—it's pretty obvious he adores her."

"Believe me, I know it's obvious." The cat shook his head. "Dog."

Darcy chuckled. She looked over at Jane, waiting. "Time to go," the intern declared. She took her packs from Loki, giving first him and then the cat fistbumps. Loki felt a little silly, but Darcy insisted that it be mandatory. So long as Thor didn't see. Jane and Darcy took their things and said a few last goodbyes. Jazz received quite a lot of petting. And finally they were gone.

Thor and Frigga both turned away, already beginning their return to the palace. Loki and the cat were quick to exit the observatory, too—the Guardian wasn't exactly fond of them, with the number of times he had been caught in the crossfire during Loki's attempts to kill the cat. Loki was going to take a shortcut, and intended to grab the cat by the scruff and bring him along, but he paused at the melancholic expression on the cat's face.

"I really don't get why everyone likes him so much."

"He's amiable. Who said we need to be popular?" Loki snatched the cat up by the scruff of his neck. "Come on. After watching all that Shire food, I'm in the mood for a kitchen raid.

"Thanks, Loki."

"Mm?"

"What are you waiting for, Frost Midget, permission?"

Loki smiled, and he and the cat disappeared from the bridge.