Wow, in the past week or so, it's sort of been like I've been catching up with all the stories that I haven't updated in forever. After this I need to get back to some of my new projects. I really need to stop starting those…

Chapter Fourteen

It was sort of funny… in a way that was not funny at all. Now that I wanted to find Koda, he was nowhere to be found. I would find myself walking aimlessly through the village only to realize an hour or so in how ridiculous I was acting and turn around to head home.

You're acting like an idiot, I kept telling myself. What happens when you do confront him? You don't even know what you're going to say.

Unfortunately, as usual, the logical half of my brain didn't seem to have as much control over my actions as it probably should have. So I continued my fruitless searching, day after day, and continued to find nothing.

It was on one of these very walks that I ran into the most unexpected person. I caught a flash of the four familiar blond pigtails bobbing past and did a double-take, freezing in my spot and gaping somewhat openly. Unfortunately, she noticed my less-than-subtle reaction. Temari turned, stopped, and looked me up and down once while I just stood there, my face heating up and my shoulders hunched up to my ears like an idiot. I clamped my mouth shut, but didn't break eye contact. I had to wonder, what would she do if I turned away and tried to pretend this hadn't happened?

Way to go, moron, I thought to myself. Why were you so surprised to see her? She is living here for the time being! For a long moment we just stood there watching each other. But then, the dreaded confrontation that I knew she wouldn't be able to resist arrived. Temari smirked, and I felt my stomach drop.

"Have you really turned into such a coward, or have you actually forgotten me?" She maintained her usual intensity, but her words weren't nearly as mean as I'd expected them to be; she seemed more amused than anything else. But they stopped me in my tracks. What the hell was Temari talking about? Was this just another one of her intimidation tactics? For some reason, I didn't think so.

As I stared at her blankly, I thought back to watching the later part of the Chunin Exams, when Gaara goes completely psycho. I remembered how scared she'd looked. As intimidating and brutal as she'd been taught to be, Temari was still just a person who got scared just like the rest of us. It was strange thinking like that about someone so strong. I felt like I was beginning to see things the way Luke did. From a distance. For someone as unattached as my brother often seemed to be, this sort of empathy was making me feel awfully sentimental. I figured I'd better answer before I said something stupid and sappy.

"Um… no. I don't remember you." She must have seen something shift in my eyes, because her demeanor became a little more subdued.

"Huh… You have changed." She looked me over again as if she was trying to make sure she wasn't mistaken. It reminded me so strongly of Koda's words that I actually shivered a little, which she ignored. I seemed to have taken all the fun out of her little game. "You are Carly Sohma, aren't you?" she asked at last.

"Yes…" Had I told her my name when during the Sand siblings' introduction scene? I didn't seem to remember doing so...

"Your father used to take you on visits to Sunagakure all the time when you were a little kid. You seriously don't remember any of it? You somehow managed to find Kankuro every time you were there, no matter who my father assigned to keep you in line. You were utterly amazed by the idea of being able to build a sandcastle without going to the beach." Her recollections brought the smirk back to her face, but in a nostalgic sort of way.

Hearing this description of my younger days only confused me further. Because it did sound a lot like me, but I couldn't remember any of it. I was a tad bit simple-minded and easily impressed when I was younger… (Okay, so maybe I haven't changed all that much.) And there she went dragging my dad into this, too. If I didn't know any better, I'd have suspected she and Koda had gotten together to plot up ways to torment me. But what motivation could she possibly have for that?

So lost was I in my confusion, that I almost missed Temari walking away. Apparently, she'd tired of my cluelessness. Or she just had enough other things on her mind. I wondered briefly if she'd been sent out to track down an MIA Gaara. Briefly, because I was spotted once more, just seconds after Temari had turned a corner, by someone else who knew me. A much friendlier face.

"You are making all sorts of new friends, aren't you?"

I whirled around to see Lee standing behind me. For once his team mates were nowhere to be found. His teasing voice had thrown me off. It was so far from what I was used to hearing from him that I hadn't been able to pin a name and a face to it for a moment. Frankly, it was bizarre. Even when he was relaxed, I'd never heard Lee speak to anyone that way...

"Lee!" he smiled at my surprise, and I immediately felt guilty. My smile turned sheepish. "It's been a while…" I said awkwardly.

"You have been avoiding me." Ah, there was the straight-to-the-point Lee that I knew. He didn't sound mad, though. I blushed all the same and brought my foot back to drag it in embarrassed little circles on the cobblestones.

"Yeah, I have…" There was no point in denying it, really. There would be no fooling him. "I guess… What Neji said really got to me after all. I didn't want to take away from your training time when you have that really important test coming up…"

He smiled even more kindly at me and it made me feel even more guilty. I didn't want Lee thinking I was some sort of saint or anything. Put the way I had, my words actually did sound a lot more selfless than they actually were. I almost wanted to come clean and tell him I was distancing myself from him on purpose… that I wasn't sure I was going to be able to handle seeing him in so much pain later on… but I backed down, coming to the same conclusion I had before. I had no way to explain what I knew, and everything I'd ever learned about time travel had taught me it wasn't the traveler's place to play God.

"I did not mind. You were not a distraction. In fact, I believe knowing you were watching motivated me to work even harder!" His eyes were aglow with the mere thought of his hard work. And then they softened suddenly as he came back down to the present. "But if coming to watch us train would interrupt your life, I would not want that! You seem to be settling in well, reaching out to other people. I do not wish to be the one who limits you."

And so our conversation had circled back around to Temari. "She approached me, actually… I guess she thought I was someone she knew."

"Oh… Does she know you from somewhere?" He was looking at me curiously. I wondered if something had changed noticeably in my expression.

"No, of course not!" I said, sounding a little too defensive, even to my own ears. "I'd never left my old village before I came here!" I wondered, was I being so defensive because I couldn't be absolutely positive myself? There must have been a strange look on my own face because Lee was giving me one. I sighed and looked down. "Lee?" I said quietly. "If I told you something, would you promise not to back away like I'm crazy or something?"

It wasn't the best place to have this conversation, maybe, still in the midst of the rest of the village, but I suddenly felt a dire need to tell someone what had been going on in my life recently. I never had been great about keeping secrets.

Now he looked concerned and I felt even worse. "Of course I wouldn't!" he exclaimed, seeming appalled at the very notion, and I had no trouble believing him. "What is wrong?"

"I… I think I'm losing my memory. I… I can't remember how my… my mom died anymore, and Temari isn't the first person who's come up to me claiming they knew me as a little kid. But whenever I reach back and try to remember those times, there's just this big blank spot. Do you think I'm going insane?"

Lee looked puzzled. We began walking down the street, clearing the way for a crowd of teenagers as he tried to figure things out. "That is strange… Are you sure you were not just too young to remember these things?"

I almost laughed from the not-funny-ness of it all. "Lee, these are childhood memories. Even if you're not close anymore, can't you remember who your friends were when you were small? And isn't forgetting how one of your parents died kind of a big thing?"

Lee's extremely thick eyebrows furrowed and he put a hand to his chin in contemplation. "Yes…" he said, sounding stumped. "That is quite a predicament. I'll have to ask Gai sensei about this… Surely, he will know what to do!"

I didn't have nearly as much faith in his sensei as he did, but that feeling could have equally come from not wanting my possible memory loss spread around the town. Gai could be a little… loud.

"Lee…" I said again in an attempt to distract him. "We're friends, right?"

He looked up in surprise, his round eyes even wider than usual. "If asked, I would certainly say so!"

His response made me smile. It was a bit of an odd way to put it, but it was comforting all the same. It was very... Lee. It wasn't enough for him just to acknowledge the important things in life; he felt compelled to proclaim these things to the whole world. There was no doubt in my mind that he would own up to being my friend. "Cool. So… could I ask you something else?"

"Anything! What would you like to know?" he replied eagerly, his teeth sparkling in his wide smile.

"What are you afraid of?" The words burst out of my mouth before I could stop them. I know I sounded rude and nosy, (after all, I hadn't actually known him that long) but Lee's expression didn't darken in the slightest. If he thought I was being intrusive, he didn't seem to take offense at it. Instead, he just looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Well," he said at last. "I suppose what I fear most is disappointing those who are counting on me."

I nodded. This made sense, and it especially fit with his character. (Stop thinking about him like that! I shouted silently to myself. He isn't just some anime character anymore!) And who was I to underestimate the power of expectation?

"That's sort of funny," I said lightly in a way that was surprisingly unoffensive if you can believe that. "Because I think my biggest fear is being disappointed by other people…"

I hoped that he wouldn't question this too deeply because, what with Lee not knowing my real story, I couldn't really explain this to him. As more and more people started mentioning my father, I was starting to get the feeling that I didn't really know him. How could I, when I couldn't even remember him? Back home, I'd spent practically my whole life since his death being told how amazing my dad had been. Almost as if all these semi-strangers and distant family friends thought I would turn on him if his virtues were not constantly reinforced in my mind. Of course, I'd agreed. I mean, he was my dad, and I'd always remembered him fondly. To be honest, it was frightening now that I couldn't remember him at all. I was afraid that one day I was going to come across something that showed me that he wasn't so great after all.

Lee's smile was soft and a little sad. Not an expression often seen on the face of one usually so bright and exuberant. "That sounds... like a sad way to live."

I didn't answer, choosing instead to contemplate this internally. It wasn't a harsh judgment, exactly, and I didn't have the right to expect much, given how little context I'd revealed. We remained silent until Lee brightened again, announcing a need to get back to his training. He rushed off, and I headed home, promising to see him again soon. And I silently swore I would make more of an effort to stand up to my inner cowardice. He deserved that much at least.

I had meant to finally speak to Luke about this when he got off work. Unfortunately, that was not the part of my daily tale that interested him.

"Of course you don't know her."

I looked down and mumbled something in response, eager to get on with what I'd really wanted to talk about, but he wasn't budging.

"Carly," he said, looking at me almost a little incredulously. "You can't possibly know her. You were living back home your entire life. There is no possible way she can recognize you from anywhere," he repeated as if he was worried that I hadn't heard him the first time.

And perhaps I hadn't really. Because to be honest, with all the crazy stuff that had been happening to me lately, I wasn't so sure.

Review please!

Yes. It has happened. I actually got around to updating this.

I still own nothing!

Revised June 4, 2016.