Author note- I don't actually have a clear plot for this story, I do have some backstory and angst stuff and maybe some stuff planned but I really am winging it at the moment. I think the next few chapters will be quite fluffy/domestic/getting to know characters, but after that it will go quite dark and plotty… so be prepared! ;)
(Possible triggers- anxiety attack, negative thoughts)
-x-
Chapter three
In the warmth of the quilt, you slowly awoke to sounds just outside the room. Toriel was bustling about, and you could hear Papyrus talking to Frisk joyfully while another deeper voice- one that you didn't recognise, joining in every now and again.
Rolling to the other side of the bed, you considered getting up. You didn't have the best night's sleep, but you didn't want to laze around any longer- the last thing you needed was to give Toriel and the others a bad impression.
Fighting your exhaustion, you manage to sit up. You felt like a mess, and all you could think of was having a nice shower, or even a bath. As you yawned, you could hear Frisk and Toriel leave the house- for school most likely, a place you've never had to go to for a long time.
Standing up, you shakily walked out of the bedroom into the living space. You noticed Papyrus bustling around in the kitchen, and a much smaller and stout skeleton was sat on the couch- napping, from the looks of it.
But the moment you walked into the threshold, his eyes opened and he looked at you with a curious expression. You couldn't help but gulp, there was something about the laid back looking skeleton that you couldn't put your finger on.
"hey kid, i'm sans… sans the skeleton… nice to meet'cha," Sans said with a wink, he seemed to have a constant grin on his face, his empty sockets alight with white pinpricks. His attire consisted of a blue hoodie, black baggy shorts and… pink slippers?
He seemed like a curious character, and you couldn't help but smile at his demeanour. You internally hit yourself for feeling fearful at first, you really needed to get over this 'scary monster' thing. It was becoming an issue, especially since you were surrounded by them.
"Hi, I'm (y/n)," You introduced yourself, and with how groggy you still felt- your voice came out like a tired croak.
San nodded languidly.
"yeah… tori told me all about you," Sans said, looking thoughtful. "uh, how's your stomach?"
"It's feeling better, thanks," You said with a nod, relieved to see the lack of pity in Sans eyes, or intrusive questioning. You really didn't need it right now.
"(y/n)!"
As much as you like Papyrus, the volume of his voice was not appropriate for the morning. You winced, turning to the tall skeleton with a grimaced smile. Your grumpy expression softened when you saw his bright smile.
"Uh… morning Papyrus," You greeted him tiredly, you really aren't a morning person, at all.
"TORIEL HAS TAKEN FRISK TO SCHOOL, AND WON'T BE BACK UNTIL LATER!" Papyrus began, unaware of your grogginess. You notice what he was wearing- an apron with text stating 'this is my humerus apron' along with a chef hat. You smiled at the sight. "I WAS INSTRUCTED TO ENSURE YOU EAT PROPERLY AND HAVE LOTS OF REST, AND PROVIDE ANYTHING ELSE YOU MAY NEED."
"Oh, thanks," You said, and with a yawn you asked- "Would I able to have a shower or something?"
"OF COURSE!" Papyrus nodded with a smile, and your breath stuttered at his next words.
"DO YOU REQUIRE ASSISTANCE WITH THAT?"
You could hear Sans choke on laughter… and wonder how skeletons can choke anyway?
"whoa bro, I didn't expect you to have the guts to say that."
"SANS!" Papyrus yelled, infuriated by his older brother's puns. Then the skeleton realized what he said to you.
You never knew skeletons could blush.
"Um…" Your face felt like it was on fire. "Thanks but I'm… uh fine-"
"OH NO, DO I SMELL BURNING?" Papyrus quickly ran into the kitchen, and nobody would point out that nothing smelt like it was burning.
"heh well that tickled my funny bone… and third door on the right kiddo," Sans chuckled, as you started to walk up the stairs. You waved a thanks to the short skeleton, laughing to yourself at what just transpired. You could hear Papyrus yell at Sans for his pun, and you couldn't help but laugh again.
The two skelebrothers were certainly something.
Climbing the stairs wasn't as hard as you thought, the magic Toriel used to heal your wound worked really well- there were only a few aches now and again. Reaching the door to the bathroom, you walked inside the spacious and clean room. It was nicely tiled and in the corner was a large bath- with a shower attachment.
You decided you would have a nice bath, it's been months since you've had one- not that you haven't washed, but awfully cold showers or washing yourself by a local river probably didn't count.
After turning the hot tap on full blast, you looked around the bathroom again- finding a full body mirror in the corner.
You approached it with a grimace, glaring at your reflection.
While Toriel's magic masked the pain, your face looked horrendous. Your right eye was swelled and bruised badly, and cuts and marks littered your face. Cameron did a number on you.
"I'm going to fucking kill him…" You growled to yourself, feeling rage build up. The urge to throw the mirror was almost impossible to resist… but you remembered this wasn't your place to trash.
You were sure Toriel wouldn't appreciate it.
You took a deep breath to calm down, and lifted your pyjama shirt- examining the knife wound.
Removing the thin bandage that covered it, you winced- it looked bad, but you had a feeling it was worse before Toriel healed it up. It was a deep irritated red gash, and you had no doubt it would scar badly.
Hopefully it would be fine exposed to water.
You turned back to the bath, turning off the hot water- it was almost full, but you didn't mind. You were the sort of person to love the kind of bath that left you completely red from neck to toe.
Adding some bubble bath and a little bit of cold water, you mixed it until the water was the perfect temperature. You really missed this luxury.
When you slipped out of your clothes and into the bath, you couldn't resist sighing in delight. You let yourself relax for a little while, the water so hot but nice. It was as if it was scalding all the bad off you, and you felt like a new person.
Looking down, you noticed the water beginning to discolour- gross, you thought. Despite your appearance, you really were hygienic, and that posed a problem when you were homeless with no regular access to clean water.
I really need to get a place of my own as soon as I can…
…as if.
Not a lot of people hired homeless people with no talents whatsoever, and you were too stubborn to go to a hostel- those places were probably more dangerous than the streets anyway. So finding a secure and warm home soon with no money was seeming very unlikely.
You tried to ignore these thoughts, the last thing you needed was to depress yourself today.
After washing and conditioning your hair, you scrubbed yourself almost to the point of pain- you were determined to be squeaky clean. After 20 minutes of this, you were finally content.
You pulled the plug out.
Climbing out of the bath, you looked for a towel- luckily there was a large fluffy one on a rack. With the towel wrapped around your body, you let out a content hum.
After drying yourself completely, you realize you didn't bring any fresh clothes- not that you had any anyway. With an annoyed groan, you redressed back into your pyjamas. You could always change again in the bedroom.
Finding a hamper to put the used towel in, you then turned and walked out of the bathroom- your hair still slightly damp and skin still red. But you felt refreshed.
When you reached the bottom of the stairs, you gave Sans a smile which was returned- Papyrus was still bustling around in the kitchen. You quickly walk back to the guest bedroom, getting redressed in the clothes you wore yesterday.
That would become a problem.
But rather than dwelling on it, you shrugged and went to the living room again. Sans was asleep now, you didn't know how he could sleep at a time like this- a glance at the clock showed it was 10:35am. With a shrug you went to find Papyrus- luckily he was still in the kitchen, with how big the house was… you would probably get lost trying to find him elsewhere.
"OH HELLO AGAIN (y/n)!" Papyrus joyfully greeted you, he was mixing something in a bowl- and was covered in red sauce. The counter he was standing above was also splattered with the sauce, ingredients scattered around the kitchen.
You approached him with a curious expression, he had… eccentric ways of making breakfast.
"I MUST APOLOGISE FOR WHAT I SAID EARLIER-"
"No, no- it's fine really," You interrupted his rambling, sitting at the counter across from him- with a sheepish smile. "I know you didn't mean it in that way, and I uh, appreciate the sentiment anyway."
"What'cha cooking there?" You then asked, leaning on your forearms to take a closer look. Papyrus proudly showed you the contents- spaghetti noodles and what you assumed was a tomato and herb sauce.
"SPAGHETTI OF COURSE!" Papyrus said, and continued stirring the bowl vigorously. "THE BEST WAY TO START THE DAY!"
"It looks good," You said, not that you would know. You didn't know how to cook, except for making toast or heating things up. "I don't think I've had spaghetti in years-"
"WHAT!?"
Papyrus was so shocked he almost dropped the bowl, his eyes were wide as if you said something truly horrible.
"YOU HAVEN'T HAD SPAGHETTI… IN YEARS?"
"Yeah, what's the problem?" You asked, slightly amused and worried- the skeleton looked paler, if that was possible.
"THIS MUST BE FIXED- IMMEDIATELY!" Papyrus said, a determined glint in his eyes. He threw the mixture into the pan, and turned the stove on full blast. You could only watch in awe as he added herbs, spices, sauce and more noodles at an extremely fast rate- you could barely keep up with his movements.
A plate of steaming spaghetti was placed in front of you, cooked at a record time.
"BON APPETITE… OR AS MY BROTHER WOULD SAY- BONE APPETITE!" Papyrus said, looking extremely pleased with himself. "NYEH HEH HEH!"
"Uh… thanks Papyrus," You said, shaking your head with a small laugh. A fork was also placed in front of you, and you took it warily.
Papyrus was watching your every move, he waited for your reaction with bated breath.
You gulped, feeling pressure build in the room. Using the fork to scoop some noodles and sauce, you inch the fork closer to your mouth.
You paused briefly, but then took the plunge and swallowed the spaghetti.
Huh, this is pretty good.
Your eyes lightened up, scooping some more spaghetti to eat. You didn't know what you were expecting, but it tasted good. The noodles were maybe a little overcooked, but the sauce and seasoning was perfect… to you anyway.
"This is delicious Papyrus," You said with a nod to the skeleton, who seemed to deflate with relief.
"I AM GLAD YOU ENJOY THE GREAT PAPYRUS' SPAGHETTI, NOT THAT ANYONE WOULDN'T!" Papyrus said, beginning to clean up after himself, washing and putting everything away. "I WAS SO SHOCKED WHEN YOU TOLD ME HOW LONG AGO YOU ATE SPAGHETTI- BUT DO NOT WORRY, FOR I SHALL HAPPILY MAKE YOU SPAGHETTI EVERY DAY!"
"Every… day?" You asked, swallowing the next fork full heavily. While you enjoyed it immensely, you would struggle to eat it all the time. You liked variety.
"OR… WELL, WHENEVER YOU WANT REALLY." Papyrus shrugged, and you felt relieved. "I KNOW HOW YOU HUMANS ARE STRANGE WITH YOUR FOOD- HAVING TO HAVE SOMETHING DIFFERENT MOST DAYS."
"You're right about that," You chuckled, and with a few more savoured bites- the spaghetti was gone. You felt quite full and your appetite was sated, you had to reject Papyrus' offer of 'seconds'.
"I think if I eat any more, my stomach will burst!" You said, taking your plate to the sink. Hearing a shocked gasp, you turned to the skeleton with worry.
"BURST!?" Papyrus repeated, looking queasy. He grabbed your shoulders, tears in his eyes. "OH NO, THIS IS ALL MY FAULT- I SHOULD INFORM TORIEL IMMEDIATELY-"
"No, no- not like that!" You couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled within you. "It's a human expression, my stomach is fine, really!"
"OH…" Papyrus seemed sheepish, letting go of your shoulders. You missed the warmth of his hands, you patted his shoulder in comfort. "YOU HUMANS AND YOUR EXPRESSIONS, THEY CAN BE QUITE CONFUSING… AND WORRYING!"
"It's alright, even I get confused with some of them…" You shrugged, sitting back on a stool. You rubbed your stomach with a sigh.
"I wish I could cook like you… it'd make things easier, and tastier!" You grinned, and for the second time today- Papyrus looked shocked.
"YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO COOK?" He gasped, and you nodded in apprehension. "THIS WILL NOT DO, I WILL ALSO FIX THIS PROBLEM!"
Papyrus grabbed you from the stool, and with a surprised yelp you followed him. The skeleton led you to a cupboard in the corner- bringing out a plain apron and handing it to you.
"Um… what…?" You said in confusion, slowly slipping the apron on and tying it at the back loosely. You turned to face Papyrus, slightly intimidated by the way he looked at you.
"(y/n)… PREPARE FOR THE GREATEST LESSON OF YOUR LIFE!"
When Toriel and Frisk returned from school, they came back to a… interesting sight. You were covered head to toe in sauce and noodles- and Papyrus wasn't faring off any better.
"GIVE NO MERCY TO THOSE TOMATOES!" Papyrus ordered you, an intense grin and look in his eyes.
"Are you sure this is how you make the sauce- because this seems really unnecessary!?" You asked, still punching the vegetables until they turned into a pate/sauce.
"THIS IS HOW UNDYNE TAUGHT ME AND SHE'S THE BEST COOK I KNOW- ASIDE FROM MYSELF OF COURSE!" Papyrus grinned, you couldn't help but smile back. Unbeknownst to Papyrus, punching the tomatoes was letting you release some pent up stress- the almost violent activity was very calming.
Cooking was fun!
"Ahem."
Toriel coughed to get your attention, causing you to stop punching the sauce and turn to her- both you and Papyrus looked alarmed. Toriel didn't seem that upset, but was looking at the mess with concern. Frisk was stood behind her, giggling to themselves.
"OH, HELLO TORIEL AND FRISK!"
"H-hey."
"Hello, I do hope you're going to clean up after yourselves?" Toriel asked with a smile, both you and Papyrus nodding quickly. With a hum of approval, Toriel turned to go back into the living room- Frisk running up to you two with a bright smile.
You began to wash your hands, getting the thick sauce off them.
"HOW WAS SCHOOL, LITTLE HUMAN?" Papyrus asked with a joyful smile, patting Frisk on the head- careful to not get any sauce on them.
Frisk made some motions with their hands, Papyrus nodded at every gesture. You couldn't understand any of it, but from the expression on Frisk's face- it seemed they had a good day.
Frisk then turned to you, flashing you a bright smile before helping you clean the kitchen. You couldn't help but feel bad, as the impromptu cooking lesson from Papyrus left the kitchen in quite a state. But with the combined effort of you, Frisk and Papyrus- the kitchen was once again spotless and clean.
"Uh… thanks Frisk," You then turned to Frisk, giving them a thankful smile. "But you didn't have to help."
Frisk shook their head, as if to say they didn't mind helping. You were unaware of how often messes happened in the kitchen with Papyrus, the younger child very much used to it.
Frisk hugged your legs before running off to the living room, and you were frozen for a moment. Not used to such affection, especially from someone you only just met yesterday. But you still smiled, Frisk's adorable behaviour practically melting your closed off heart.
Speaking of adorable behaviour…
"WELL (y/n), THAT CONCLUDES OUR LESSON I SUPPOSE!" Papyrus said joyfully, and you wondered how someone could smile so much. It wasn't a permanent grin like Sans, but Papyrus always seem so… happy. "I ENJOYED TEACHING YOU THE WAYS OF A MASTER CHEF LIKE ME, NYEH HEH HEH!"
Both you and Papyrus were stood facing each other, the pair of you covered with cooking sauce. As Papyrus looked down at with a happy expression, you felt an odd feeling emerge in your chest. You couldn't explain the feeling, but it was a positive one.
You couldn't honestly think of a time where you felt so happy, being around such friendly company and warmth was bittersweet. You enjoyed staying with the monsters… which for you, was an issue.
Don't get attached… you thought to yourself, still staring at Papyrus' smiling face.
…it might be too late for that.
"Uh… yeah… it was fun," You said quietly, Papyrus probably expecting an answer and it was true, the lesson was fun… but it reminded you of what you couldn't have.
A family.
"…ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" Papyrus seemed to pick up on your mood, his happy expression turning to worry. You hated that you caused that change. "(y/n)… YOU SEEM SAD?"
"No… I'm fine Papyrus, really… I am," You lied, a fake smile on your face. Papyrus seemed thoughtful, it looked as if he could see right through you. You had to look away from his eyes, unable to lie directly to his face. "I'm just… tired. That's all."
"OH NO, IT'S MY FAULT ISN'T IT?" Papyrus said unhappily, and your chest tightened. You didn't mean to worry him. "I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUSHED YOU SO FAR TODAY WITH THE LESSON, YOU'RE STILL RECOVERING AND I SHOULD'VE BE MORE THOUGHTFUL-"
"I'm fine!" You snapped, and both you and Papyrus looked equally surprised. You didn't mean to be so rude, but the pain in your chest was getting too much. Unfortunately, you took it out on probably one of the few people who believed in you.
You refused to look at Papyrus, not wanting to see his disappointment.
"I… uh… I think I should go to bed…" You said shakily, and you rushed out of the kitchen into the living area. Your breathing was heavy and stuttered, it was becoming increasingly harder to think or feel.
You regretted it immediately, and you could feel three pairs of eyes stare at you in concern. Papyrus followed behind you, and in the fog of your mind you could hear his concerned voice.
"I-I'm fine…" Your voice sounded so far away, and your reassurance only worried them more.
You walked past Toriel towards the bedroom she so kindly provided for you, surprisingly steady considering how awful you felt.
It's been a while since one of these…
You managed to make your way inside the room, closing the door behind yourself. Looking for a lock, you couldn't find one- so you made do with sitting against the door, your face resting on your knees as you sobbed quietly, chest painfully tight.
Get a grip… stop being so pathetic…
You didn't even know the cause, whether it was Papyrus' unconditional friendliness which reminded you of what you couldn't have… or just you decided to be a bother to everyone and have a mental breakdown.
You couldn't even pretend to be sane for week…
A more audible sob ripped its way from your throat, and you immediately felt weak. You didn't want to put this burden on them, you didn't want them to worry about you.
You were nothing.
"...(y/n)?"
You flinched, hearing Toriel's quiet but concerned voice through the door made you feel terrible. But you stayed quiet, unsure of whether you could speak at the moment.
"I would like to come in… to talk to you, please?"
You wiped a few stray tears from your eyes, unable to respond properly. There was a part of you that wanted Toriel to come in, comfort you… like a mother would. But the negative, horrible part of yourself wanted her to go away- to never try to treat you so warmly again.
Moving away from the door, you shakily stand. Your knees felt so weak, and you couldn't stop shaking like a leaf. It could be considered an achievement that you stood at all.
Pathetic...
As if sensing you moved away from the door, Toriel opened it slowly. Looking at you with concern as she closed it behind her, you tried to hide your face- not wanting her to see your tears.
But it was in vain.
"Oh dear…" Toriel said quietly, and approached you warily. Feeling her arms wrap around you in a hug, you almost melted into a pathetic sniffling puddle. You held onto her tightly, burying your face into her shoulder. Despite your pride, you needed comfort desperately- even if you didn't think you deserved it.
"My child…" Toriel softly sighed, and you felt a hand run through your hair. You buried your head further into her shoulder, repressing a sob. "I would ask you what is wrong… but I feel that is not what you need right now."
You began to cry harder, letting all your emotions out- the sadness that was your life, the anger you felt towards your attackers and the hatred you felt… for yourself.
By the time your tears stopped falling, you felt empty. Your outburst taking everything out of you, but you preferred feeling numb over sad.
Was there a difference…?
You finally pulled away from Toriel, rubbing your teary eyes while feeling a sense of embarrassment creep up on you. Toriel just gave you a patient smile, letting you gather your thoughts.
"I'm... s-sorry," Your voice came out shaky, but you wanted to apologise. You must have worried them so much over nothing, and you felt selfish for letting yourself make a scene.
"You do not have to apologise," Toriel said, and she sounded slightly stern. Her expression softened even more. "You've been through so much, child. Feeling overwhelmed is natural in this situation, but you do not have to hide your emotions from us. We only want to help."
You nodded, silently wishing you had a tissue. Physically and mentally, you were a mess. You gave Toriel a weak smile, feeling quite guilty for everything.
"I know…" You began, and the longer Toriel looked at you- the more you felt like revealing. "…that's why this is difficult…"
"I'm not… I'm not the greatest person," You began with a shuddered breath, and Toriel with consideration brought you a chair, which you sat back on it with a thankful half-smile. "I've done some stuff I'm not proud of and I… I'm really not worth all this hassle… and all I ever seem to do is push people away, even if they mean the best for me."
"I'm going to get us some tea," Toriel said after you quietened, and to your surprise she kissed the top of your head. The motherly affection nearly brought tears to your eyes, again. You watched as she left, and a few minutes later- came back with two steaming mugs.
You took the offered drink, blowing on the steam in contemplative thought.
"My child…" Toriel began quietly, and from the tone of her voice- she seemed upset. You looked to her with a worried frown.
"It saddens me to hear you speak of yourself that way, and that you truly believe you don't 'deserve' our help. I do not know what you've been through in your life, but if I had to take a guess… you don't have a home, do you not?"
You wanted to cry, but instead you nodded. Toriel's expression dropped even more.
"I feared that…" Toriel sighed sadly, staring into her own mug. "From the state you were in, and how recluse you seemed- I assumed that might be the case."
You wondered where Toriel was going with this, taking a sip of your still hot tea- you didn't care much for the taste, but you needed something warm inside you.
Toriel seemed to struggle with her words for a moment, you noticed the torn up expression she held.
"I suppose you would refuse, if I were to offer this room to you… for semi-permanent residence?"
You struggled to swallow for a moment, staring at Toriel with wide eyes. You opened your mouth to refuse the selfless offer, but the motherly monster beat you to it.
"(y/n), I know how badly you feel about yourself, and your actions…" Toriel sighed again. "But I want to help you get back on your feet, you do not have to live here permanently… just until you find a job and place of your own?"
You looked down, you knew the offer was sensible and that most people would take up on it. But the guilt you felt for being such a bother dragged you down, you so desperately wanted to accept- yet you felt like you didn't deserve this kind opportunity.
"I want you to consider it, at least." Toriel added, looking at you with sympathy- which made you slightly uncomfortable. "Please at least stay for a week, and then you can make a decision on our offer."
"...our?"
"Yes, everyone here enjoys your company- even only after a day of knowing you." Toriel smiled warmly. "Papyrus seems so happy to have a new friend, and the same could be said with Frisk."
"…even though I took my anger out on Papyrus?" You said quietly, your tone turning slightly bitter. You felt so guilty for snapping at the lovable skeleton, your already low self-worth was crumbling because of your behaviour.
"I can promise you he already forgives you for your outburst. Despite Sans' worries… Papyrus can handle it, he's capable of more than people give him credit for."
Toriel stood, placing her mug on the desk beside you. This was when you noticed the big carrier bag by her feet, you looked at with curiosity. Toriel picked it up and placed it on your bed.
"I brought you some clothes dear, so you have something clean to wear." Toriel explained, and she looked past your guilty expression. "These should last you for a little while, and please consider them a gift- and take them with you if you do decide to leave."
You supposed it wouldn't hurt to have something else to put on, considering the state of your t-shirt after Papyrus' impromptu lesson. The apron you wore really didn't do much to prevent the mess. You were also tired of wearing the same outfit, and the prospect of clean, new clothes did excite you.
"T-thank you," You said genuinely, letting Toriel hug you for the second time today.
"You are welcome child," Toriel said softly, pulling back with a smile. She went to pick up the nearly finished mugs, and sent you a reassuring look. "I will understand if you decide to stay in here this evening, but do not feel as if you're bothering us. Truly, you're not."
You nodded, watching with a slightly more positive look as Toriel left the room. Despite your stubborn need to look after yourself, you felt the urge to open up and accept the help offered. You knew your carefully constructed defences were being broken, leaving you feeling weak and open.
But… you didn't know if you cared enough to stop it.
Maybe you needed this...
.
.
.
A family.