I ended up splitting the original plans for this chapter in two. It was just getting to be too much for the focus of one chapter, and I feel like this one is pretty long as it is. On the bright side, this means that I already know where the next one is going.

On another note, I know the format for Carly's dreams changes a little in this chapter. (It's usually all in italics.) My reasoning for this is that she's more... there this time instead of just watching. Also, I know that's not quite how lucid dreaming works... Yeah, it was just the most plausible excuse for the plot to play out like it did.

(Yeah, I know I'm past the point of effective excuses for why it's been so long since I've updated some of my stories, but I did leave a little note near the top of my profile if anyone's interested.)

Chapter Sixteen

"So what do we do now?"

I was sitting at the table, leaning the chair back on its hind legs. My tone was listless; I'm sure my expression was at least a little depressed. But Luke looked over from whatever he was sketching with a little smile. He seemed far too amused by my suffering for my liking.

"Continue along as normally as possible."

I suppressed a groan. I had already known the answer, but it didn't make things any easier, hearing it out loud.

This time a chuckle did escape from my brother. "What, would you rather be back in the forest with them?"

"God, no!" I exclaimed immediately, appalled at the thought. "I'd get myself killed before we were a mile in! It's just… hard. Knowing what they're going through right now."

"Knowing their actions have real-life consequences now," Luke added sympathetically.

"Whenever I thought about coming to this world somehow, I pictured it being the coolest thing ever," I admitted. "But now it's…"
"Scary," he finished.

"Yeah. And dangerous. And I know it's their duty as shin obi and everything, but… Some of them die, Luke. And some of them have already lived worse lives than even we could imagine. Now that I actually know them, it's… sad."

It was a grounding realization. Luke had certainly gotten his point across, but I wasn't sure the effect was what he'd been hoping for.

Apparently, my dreary attitude was catching. Our conversation seemed to have sobered him a little, too.

I exhaled loudly, my gaze returning to our ceiling. If my calculations were right, it was the morning of their last day in the forest. Which meant that while I'd been moping around our apartment, Gaara's team had already finished the exam, Sasuke had already been marked, and Lee had already come to Sakura's rescue. I shuddered at the thought, and the most disturbing thing was, I wasn't sure which part bothered me the most.

My brother didn't even look up when I very abruptly got to my feet. I had worked up a thick wall of resolve. I couldn't confine myself here any longer. But when I opened my mouth, Luke spoke for me.

"You're going out." He looked very amused by my surprise. "You know, your reactions follow a very strict routine. You get into some sort of trouble, you wallow in hopeless despair for a few days, get fed up with doing nothing, and rush out, headfirst and determined to change your ways, only to attract more trouble… rinse and repeat."

Ah, and here was the downside to having a twin (or any sibling or friend, I guess) who knew you better than you knew yourself. Because Luke was exactly right. And as much as my first instinct was to try to prove him wrong, I doubted I would. I was very set in my ways.

Despite the fact that all the candidates were deep in a treacherous forest, out of sight, the marketplace was still buzzing. A few foreigners had already arrived and would be enjoying the full extent of Konoha's hospitality right up until the finals.

It was a little strange to think I had zero chance of running into any of them, but it was also a little encouraging. There was little to no chance of distraction.

Today would be it. I wasn't sure I could handle the suspense any longer. I still hadn't said anything to Luke, but the dreams were getting worse. I needed to find Koda. I needed to know what was going on.

But where to find him? Based on his behavior from the past few weeks, it was probably safe to assume that Koda had been taken off of guard duty, at least for the time being. This had its ups and downs. He would be a lot more approachable if he wasn't stationed a couple hundred feet above me. On the other hand… the Leaf Village was a big place. And he could be anywhere.

I'm not sure when, exactly, I started gravitating toward the Hokage's tower. I think I really woke up when I spotted the guards outside. I stopped, standing dumbly in front of them for a minute. This was yet another dilemma I hadn't anticipated. I knew the Hokage was very busy, but he was also very kind. He'd probably be willing to point me in the right direction. Now I just had to get to him… This was going to be a lot harder without an escort.

I made my way up to the two guard ninja. They were watching me curiously; I imagined they didn't have a very interesting job.

"Um, hi…" And embarrassed, awkward smile had taken over my features. They waited for me to continue. "Um, if it's not too much trouble… Might I be able to see the Hokage, please?"

It sounded flimsy and pathetic even to me. The two exchanged skeptical looks. Finally, the one on the right said, "Lord Hokage is very busy right now, Miss. He doesn't have the spare time to be meeting with civilians. Perhaps you could speak with him after the Chunin Exams."

They were very kind, considering how stupid I knew I must look. There was a sudden ache in my chest, knowing the Hokage wouldn't have a time after the exams. The closer it got, the more I wanted to warn someone, but I forced the urge away.

There's no possible way that would work out well, I reminded myself. How could you possibly know that? You'd either end up in a jail cell or dead!

Isn't that a little selfish? My conscience liked to make an appearance at the worst times. I mean, it's life or death here.

"Was there something else you needed?" I jumped. Now both guards were looking at me strangely.

"Uh, no. Thank you. There was someone else I was looking for anyway, so…"

I turned to go, trying to brainstorm other places Koda might be. But another voice interrupted me before I could get very far.

"Carly?" What are you doing here?"

I pivoted to face the entrance again, not quite believing my luck. Good fortune and I aren't that well acquainted.

Koda stood in the doorway, a thick stack of papers tucked under one arm. He was staring at me quizzically, one eyebrow quirked. There was none of the impatient, arrogant superiority that I'd become accustomed to with him, but there may have been a reason for this. Even from a distance, Koda looked tired.

The guards were glancing back and forth between the two of us, looking uncomfortable and outranked. One spoke up uncertainly, "You know this girl?"

"Yes." He didn't offer up anything else, barely giving the guards a glance. Ah, there was the rough, scrutinizing looking I'd come to associate with him. "If anyone comes looking for me, tell them I'll be back shortly."

The guards hurriedly assured him that they would and Koda strode past them, walking past me also without another word. He must have known I would follow him. And if not… Well, I was along for the ride anyway.

I was grateful when he led me down a peaceful, secluded path. Our only company was the fleet of birds overhead, but he still didn't say a word.

"I was looking for you, actually," I spoke up, hoping to at least put a crack in the wall of tension between us.

"Were you?" His words were dull. "That's a new one."

"I want answers," I pushed, determined not to let this go. "I want to know what's been happening to me lately."

He sighed and sat down on a bench. I quickly plopped myself down beside him, hoping this was a good sign. "What's with the sudden curiosity? I'm not the bad guy anymore?"

I wasn't sure how to respond. He didn't sound particularly gentle or even playful. Just tired and annoyed. "I just want answers. And you seem to have them, so…"
He shook his head. "I'm already deeper into this than I'd like to be. And I've got other things that need my attention, especially right now."

Maybe it was just me, but it sounded like he was trying to convince himself. Well, if demanding the information wasn't going to get me anywhere, perhaps flattery would. "What are you working on?"

Immediately, I realized this was a stupid question. Whatever that stack of papers contained was probably top secret and classified, not to be shared with lowly civilians like myself. So I was surprised when he did answer.

"Information on the participants in the Chunin Exam. Everyone who's still in the game has their own little file of data. It'll be compacted into pamphlets for spectators once we reach the final stage."

If Koda had been looking for a way to divert my attention, he'd found it. I leaned a little closer.

"Really? So… you know how everyone's doing right now?"

He gave me a look but didn't shut me out. "I'm guessing you're worried about that Rock Lee kid, right? He and his team just passed the checkpoint this morning. They're fine."

Excellent. That made one less distraction. For now. "And Naruto's group?"

He eyed me carefully. "Interesting choice of friends… They're still in the middle of the current exam." He rose, ready to return to work. "And Carly? In regards to your other questions… You already have all the answers. You just need to look for them."

…

When I returned home, I was clearly in better spirits than Luke had been anticipating.

"Hi!" I said brightly as I walked in.

"Hey…" He looked up from whatever he'd been writing. A list, it looked like. "So… how are things?"

"Things are fabulous." And at the moment, the horizon did look considerably brighter. I'd had an idea on the way home that I was eager to try out. "I'm going to bed early."

"What? It's four in the afternoon."

I didn't answer. I'd already lay down and was trying to clear my mind. I heard my brother sigh and go out, closing the door behind him. Perfect. The quieter this apartment was, the better. I focused solely on my breathing. Inhale… Exhale. It took a few minutes, but I slowly drifted out of consciousness.

…

Sports weren't my only short-lived hobbies. I'd spent my spare time that wasn't devoted to anime researching everything from sign language to balance disorders. Luckily, about a year ago, I had fixated on lucid dreaming.

If ever I needed to be simultaneously awake and asleep, it was now. Some time ago, when I wasn't open to listening, Koda had claimed that everything I was seeing in my more recent dreams was actually a string of memories. If this was true, then I just needed to be able to control the situation. Force my dream-self to remain in the scenario until something useful popped up.

The best thing about lucid dreaming was that all it really required was desire and a little concentration. Think about having a lucid dream while you wait to fall asleep. Sometimes it works. I'd had a few a year ago when I'd been really focused on this. But eventually that focus had floated away to be replaced with another fixation.

However, as soon as the dream started, I knew I'd been successful. I worked to contain my excitement. If I wasn't careful, I could accidentally wake myself up and have to start the process over again, and who knew if I could be this lucky twice?

I recognized the scene. We were back in the clearing that I couldn't remember ever going to in real life. And there was younger me, younger Koda, and living Dad. It still tugged painfully at my heart a little every time I saw him, even in a dream, but I had to push that away for now. I had a job to do.

Slowly, my focus sharpened and more and more started to come through to me, like a radio signal being fine-tuned. Voices. Laughter. Then just one voice. My own.

"My turn! I wanna do it, too!"

Koda had just performed his little disappearing/reappearing trick. When my dad answered, his tone was indulgent but firm.

"Not today. Right now you need to focus. Feel the energy in the air. In Koda. Grasp it. Contain it."

Another, stronger pang resonated through me at the sound of his voice. I had to push that away, too, though. I couldn't let it consume me now, when I was finally getting somewhere.

I watched as my younger self closed her eyes (my eyes?) obediently, trying to feel this 'energy' Dad was talking about.

In truth, the whole scene was bizarre and not at all familiar. I would have thought it was all an elaborate game if it wasn't for how seriously everyone seemed to be taking it. And then it happened.

It was nothing grand. Completely liable to be overlooked, in fact, if you weren't watching as closely as I was.

Koda tried his disappearing act again only to stumble back a step as if he'd run into a physical wall. I watched as my eyes few open, knowing it had worked. My younger self looked up at Dad, who smiled down proudly. An accomplishment had been made that day. I just wish I knew what, exactly, it was.

…

When I woke, I was surprised that light was still shining through our window. Had I not been out that long?

"About time."

I looked up to see that Luke was back, sitting at the kitchen table again. He was eating something, watching me closely. When I blinked uncomprehendingly, he added, "It's almost noon."

I started at that. It felt as if I'd fallen asleep just seconds ago, minutes at most. I'd have to try it again tonight, but I also couldn't sleep all my days away.

Luke nodded to the stove. "I made lunch."

I rose and stretched, making my way across the room. "Since when do you cook?"

He shrugged. "I guess living here is teaching me a few things."

There was something off about his voice. He sounded a little too casual, but I didn't have time to analyze this before the food caught my eye. It took a moment for the word to come back to me. "You made… pizza?"

He nodded slowly, watching my reaction. It was a crude creation. A small, baked circle of dough with tomato sauce and cheese piled on top, but it struck a chord with me all the same. A lump rose in my throat.

I felt guilty for being able to ignore so easily that Luke was really still trying to get his footing in this world. It was a lot harder for him than it was for me. With everything that had been happening lately, I didn't have time to be homesick.

The atmosphere in the room suddenly seemed a lot more tense. I'd been quiet for at least a second too long.

"Thanks," I forced out at last, knowing my words fell flat. "It's great."

There was another moment of silence before Luke stood. "Well, I've got work today, so…"

I tried not to let his indifferent tone sting as he walked out the door.

As far as homemade pizzas went, Luke's wasn't bad, but I found it hard to enjoy. I knew it was selfish of me to have wanted Luke here, but that was hardly under my control! …Right? I didn't know how I'd gotten to this world.
Alternately, I also knew that these were just excuses in my attempt to avoid guilt. I knew I couldn't put it aside for too long, but old habits were hard to break.

I finished eating and changed out of yesterday's clothes, ready to head out and find Koda. I was cooperating now, making progress even! Maybe he'd feel a little more generous with his knowledge.

It was a lot easier today, almost like we'd planned it. I didn't have to say a word to the guards, Koda met me at the door. Yesterday's stack of papers was nowhere in sight. He'd arrived with the intention of seeing me.

He nodded at the guards, nodded at me, and I followed him back to the spot under the trees where we'd spoken the day before. But today there was none of the silence. He was speaking the second I sat down.

"I shouldn't be telling you this, but I feel some obligation to you." His chuckle held a hint of something dark in it. "Maybe I'm getting sentimental. You know, for old times' sake. But…"

"You can help me?" I cut in, excited.

"I'm not talking about that. Your friends… The ones you were asking about yesterday? I thought you might want an update."

"Oh. Y-yeah. Of course!" That's right. Today was the day the preliminaries for the third exam would start. Actually, they were probably already half over.

"All your friends made it out of the second exam. They're holding one-on-one… duels, I guess you could call them, right now. I get updated on the outcome whenever one of them is finished."

"Oh… And… Naruto? Lee?" I had to ask. I already knew the answers, of course, but there was something different about hearing it in real life.

"Both fine. Neither have fought yet. But the girl on Lee's team didn't fare so well in her match, and both of Naruto's team mates have been hospitalized as well." He waited for the information to sink in.

I checked off Tenten and Sasuke in my head. They'd be fine. The worst was still yet to come. But wait… "Both of them?" I clarified.

Koda nodded. "They ran into some trouble in the forest. Sakura Haruno barely made it out of the second exam, but her team passing depended on it. She bowed out once it turned to individual battles."

I was having trouble comprehending his words. They didn't make sense. Every member of Team Seven had a rough time in the Forest of Death, but for the most part, they all made it out with energy to spare… Could Koda be lying to me? It didn't seem like he was…

"I have to get back. Things are going to get a lot busier around here; I probably won't have time to speak with you again until the exams are over. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help with your… other problem."

Koda walked away, but I didn't move. Something had clicked as he was speaking. I knew what had changed since I'd watched the anime. And the knowledge left me with a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Lee. Lee was not the same person he'd been in the canon storyline, and it was because of me. I'd never been a fan of the SakuraxLee pairing, but I'd also never stopped to consider how Lee minus his crush on Sakura would change the story. But the only reason Lee had even known Sakura was in need of rescuing was because he'd given himself that ridiculous leaf challenge, trying to bargain for her affection.

Sakura was injured, how seriously I didn't know, and it was my fault.

I'd told Luke that I'd wanted to stay in the background, to simply watch the story play out. I'd learned my lesson the hard way. You don't need to be on the front lines to cause damage.

Review please!

I don't own Naruto. Only my OCs.

If I hadn't cut this chapter in half, it would have been massive… but you know, anyone who's still reading probably deserves a longer chapter after so long… Oh well.