April's POV

He hasn't said anything else today. Maybe it was a weird way of him complimenting me. It was gross, but I could understand it. The weird thing is I never would have thought him to say something like that. It just made me shiver thinking of his breath on my neck. God if I hadn't known better I would have thought he was about to kiss me the way he said it. Gross. Everything about it was gross. But yet I still find myself wanting to trust him and like the guy. Logically I want to admit it's because I have to see him everyday, i'd rather not spend the day disgusted. But I know its because of that day almost two years ago. I have a problem where I tend to trust anyone who is nice to me. But that day he wasn't just nice, he was down right protective. But the gross thing was I thought about it as something fatherly, not romantic, god no. Never romantic. How could it have been romantic? The exchange itself wasn't romantic in nature. He was protecting me from an older creep, and I guess, I don't know. It reminded me of the way a dad would protect a daughter. The way my dad never did. He tried his hardest, but he did that by doing nothing. We have to let Zuzu make her own decisions. Yeah dad, well, Zuzu's own decision is what got me drunk when I was barely 15. Zuzu's decisions is what landed me at that stupid frat house party when I was only 17. Zuzu's decisions tend to ruin April's life. So maybe when he got worried and protective I guess I thought it was sweet. And maybe that's why now I can't help but want to act like what he said was nothing, but all my heart keeps telling me is that it is something, and it's gonna happen again.

I finished all of the Leslie things I had to do relatively fast so now I'm just sitting at my desk thinking about everything I don't want to think about. Tom and Mark were still out and Donna had gone for coffee and I think Ron was finishing up his part of Leslie's job. We were supposed to work together but I had finished my shit so he left. I start drawing randomly in a notebook but that gets boring, so I go back to the stupid not stupid book I was reading earlier when a note falls out with the bookmark I had been using. I quickly put the crow feather I was using as a mark in so as not to lose my place and pick up the small piece of yellow pad paper.

~This is a you-book April. I can just picture you as Remy, with all those different guys in bed. Wonder if you're as good as you look.~

Oh god. It takes everything in me not to throw up after seeing the fucking perverse sentence. I quickly crumple up the piece of paper and throw it into my trash. God it was just getting worse. I thought it was fine, he had been out all day. Sure he can't finish his work, but he can find the time to leave that and flip through the pages of my book. Ugh, what absolute trash,

Why me? That was really all I wanted to know. He has so many women to pick from but yeah sure, why not go with the barely 20 year old intern. It was disgusting. I tried to read the book again but I couldn't get his damn words out of my head. Wonder if you're as good as you look. Yeah, not that you would ever get to know buddy. I look back at the trash can and the tiny piece of yellow paper. It's just in there taunting me. Why can a tiny piece of paper with a crude remark affect me so much? He was all talk and insults, i'm sorry; compliments. I wasn't under an physical danger. I shouldn't care.

What time is it? I feel like I have been sitting here for an eternity. 4:32. Ugh I can't even leave for another 28 minutes. What if he comes back first? What if no one is around and he says something? Or tries something? No, no he wouldn't try something. He wouldn't dare. Maybe I should leave early just to be safe. No April you are being ridiculous. I can feel my leg bouncing up and down, something I only really did when I was nervous or thinking too much. I can feel my head starting to throb and I know my face must be flushed. God why was I letting this get to me so much? He was a joke. More irrelevant than this fucking internship. I need to stop letting him do this to me. I need to stop giving him the control. My hand is shaking. I still have the pencil in my hand that I was tapping and now every once in a while I hear it tap against the book. What is wrong with me? All the sudden I can hear the door creak open quietly and then shut and I feel my heart rate pick up again.

"April."

end of chapter 2