I asked my wifey, monsoondownpour ages and ages ago if she would draw Levi's tattoo and it's amazing and wonderful and exactly like what I'd imagined it to look like: mybrainproblemsDOTtumblrDOTcom/post/128194594894/i-asked-my-wifey-monsoondownpour-if-she-would
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When Eren exited the shower Levi was laying back on his bed and staring up at the ceiling, a contemplative look on his face. His expression was oddly slack as he stared upwards, his usual hard look completely smoothed and blank. Levi had always given off the contradictory air of appearing younger than he was while leaving the impression that he might actually be older than you thought. Eren couldn't help but think that perhaps at this precise moment, Levi did really look like he was on the cusp of thirty; there was the seriousness of experience and age sitting quietly behind a body that was still elastic and young. Perhaps it was the honesty of his expression, but Eren couldn't help but feel that this was the youngest he'd ever seen Levi look. It wasn't the impression of youth, but the fact of it. Eren continued to watch him for another few minutes before realizing that Levi was completely oblivious to his presence.
"Levi?" He started and turned towards Eren, staring at him for a moment before sitting up.
"You done showering then?"
"Yeah."
"Irene came and took our things. She said they should be done in an hour or two."
"That's good."
"She recommended the diner across the highway. Apparently they have good venison hash."
"Yeah, I could really go for something to eat." He watched in surprise as Levi got up and grabbed the motel room key and his coat, heading towards the door. "Aren't you going to shower first?"
"I need food more than I need to be clean. I warmed up enough after changing out of my wet clothes."
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The diner was cozy and warm, the hostess having sat them back near the kitchen, explaining that Irene had called over and said that a pair of frozen city folk would likely be heading over soon and sat them well away from the cold breeze that kept coming through the front door every time it opened. Eren watched as Levi visibly relaxed; their booth was tucked way such that they could see the front door but they wouldn't be readily visible to anybody entering.
Irene hadn't lied when she said the venison hash was good, though at this point almost anything would have tasted good so long as it was hot.
"So what now?"
"I need to call and check in with Hanji. I think I saw a payphone by the restroom." Levi sighed and sat back. "Maybe they'll have some ideas."
"I'll go over to the gas station while you do that then. I think they have a sundries shop and I'd really like to shave." He gave Levi a lopsided smile and while he wasn't expecting amusement in return, he hadn't expected the conflicted and concerned look on Levi's face. "What?"
"I'd rather we didn't split up."
"I'm walking literally fifty yards away. Do you really think something is going to happen?" Levi looked at him, his expression solemn.
"I don't know."
"So I'm not allowed to go get a razor and shaving cream without your supervision?" Eren shot Levi an annoyed look and got a cold glare in response.
"They have a sniper with them. We led them to what they wanted and they've probably already realized that the boxes of files weren't the only thing in that room."
A stifling silence settled over them, the clink and chatter of the other people in the diner and the shouts and clatter of the kitchen all melded together to hang in the air around their table and settle into the gap in conversation. Eren stared at his glass and watched the droplets of condensation bead up and drip down, trying to imagine what sound they might make if he could hear them and whether Levi could hear the droplets slipping down the glass. He tried to focus on the droplets rather than the feeling welling up in his chest and threatening to spill over and drown everything. Taking a deep breath, he tried to steady his voice as he said what Levi would not.
"They don't need me alive anymore, which means I'm just in the way. Me being alive is a liability." He couldn't fully meet Levi's eyes, staring at his almost-empty plate.
"If it's any consolation, we're both liabilities right now."
"How is that any consolation?"
"I'm commiserating. We're both fucked right now and I was really hoping I'd live to see thirty." Eren picked up his fork and shuffled some of the scraps on his plate around.
"I know you said before but how old are you?"
"Just barely twenty-nine."
"Barely?"
"My birthday was the 25th." Levi crossed his arms and scowled, daring Eren to make a comment.
"This is a pretty shitty birthday trip."
"You're telling me."
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Levi ended up letting Eren go to the sundries shop by himself while he called Hanji from the payphone in the diner. As he pushed open the polished glass of the door Eren could see Levi's eyes trained on him with a concerned look on his face, only looking away when Hanji clearly picked up on the other end.
The fifty yard walk from the diner to the gas station sundry shop was uneventful, though Eren could feel every breath of wind and heard every shadow's movement in that brief distance. There were two other people in the shop besides himself and the clerk at the counter; both were tall and solidly built and from the snippets of their conversation that Eren was able catch, both locals as well. He picked his way through the shelves, trying to find where they might keep razors and shaving cream, all too aware of every moment that ticked away.
He looked up sharply when he heard the bell on the front door tinkle as someone opened it, relaxing when he saw that it was just Levi entering as well. They nodded at each other and Levi walked over in his direction.
"Find what you need?"
"Almost done."
"You have cash?"
"Yeah."
"Good. Use that."
"I'm not an idiot." Levi frowned as Eren grumbled.
"Sorry. I'm saying it for my own peace of mind. That way I know that you know." Eren didn't respond and Levi let out a low sigh. "I have a couple things I may as well get. Meet at the register?"
"Sure. What did Hanji say?"
"We'll talk later."
They parted from one another and Eren found the shaving supplies shortly thereafter. There wasn't much by way of choice when it came to razors – only two three packs of disposables remained – but there were five different types of shaving cream, three of which he'd never even heard of. He went about trying to surreptitiously sniff at them, eventually deciding on one that had no words on the label, just a minimalist silhouette of a stag and a sharp smell of fresh pine needles. He wove through the shelves and grabbed a few other things before heading to the register, Levi waiting beside it having already paid for his things.
The walk back across the highway was quiet, the sharp shush of the wind punctuated by their cloudy puffs of breath glowing white under the moon. The sound of their footsteps on tar echoed in the empty blackness as they crossed the highway, giving way to soft crunching as they got to the other side and the tar gave way to grass, stiff and frosted over in the frigid evening. The warm light of the motel office was a beacon that drew them forward as a shiver went through Levi's body, the warmth of the diner fast leaving the both of them. They were grateful when they finally reached the office and were greeted by a wave of heat. From behind the desk, Irene was staring at them with a troubled look on her face.
"What kinda trouble ya two in?" Eren watched out of the corner of his eye as Levi tensed. "Cause I jus' had twi c'mere half hour ago askin' 'bout if I seen two other men come through. One of 'em was solid built with light hair 'n th'other taller with brown hair. Tol' 'em I ain't never seen you. Did I make th'right choice?"
"I don't know." Levi's voice was soft. "They're very dangerous people and we have something they want."
"It actually b'long ta you?"
"It was my dad's." She looked at Eren interestedly.
"An' it's somethin' important."
"We think so." Eren paused and frowned. "Or at least it's important to us and them."
"Well, clothes're done." Irene pulled a large paper shopping bag out from under the counter and offered it to Levi. "Should get some sleep."
"Thank you." Levi's brow furrowed as he took the bag, giving her an odd look as he did so and receiving a sharp nod in return.
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Their walk was silent again, Eren darting glances at Levi as his frown grew deeper and deeper. Back in their motel room Levi's silent frown continued, an air of indecision hovered around him as he placed the bag down on top of his bed and opened it up. He stared into the bag for a moment, the tension going out of his face and posture, something like defeat and weariness settling in. He reached down into the bag and pulled out a handgun. Eren froze, staring at the gun in Levi's hand as he considered it contemplatively.
"Apparently, that is how much danger we're in." He tossed the gun onto the bedspread and shivered. "A woman who we've known for a few hours just gave us a gun. Whoever is on our tracks, they must look like bad news in a big way."
"Levi?" They were both facing each other, Eren searching Levi's face for something. "What aren't you telling me?"
"There was… something I found in the computer. Besides the hard drive."
"Okay?" Eren's voice was uncertain as he sat down on his bed. He watched warily as Levi reached into his coat to pull an envelope from an interior pocket.
"Here." He offered the envelope to Eren.
"It's addressed to me."
"Yeah."
"You've read it already, haven't you?" Eren gave Levi an annoyed look as he took the letter.
"It was in Grisha's storage room and addressed to you, I made that tiny leap in logic where he's the one who wrote it. I wanted to know if it was worth you reading." He shrugged and looked away.
"And you can decide if something is worth me reading?" His voice was angry as he glared at Levi.
"You already have a shit opinion of him, but would you really want to read a letter saying you're worthless and that he's glad he left?" Eren wouldn't meet his eyes, looking off to the side. His voice was soft when he spoke.
"No." He paused and dropped his head so that he was looking at the envelope resting on his lap. "How do you think I'll feel about it?"
"It's not going to be an easy read." Levi's voice was soft. "I could tell you what's in it if you wanted me to but I think it's best if you read it yourself."
"Okay."
"I'm going to shower." He waited for Eren's nod before grabbing his things and heading to the bathroom.
Eren sat on the bed, head bowed forward as he stared at the envelope in his lap. There was nothing special about it and he noted with some cruel and disgusted satisfaction that his own name wasn't even written by hand; just a printed out label stuck to the front of the envelope. He thumbed at the edges of the envelope, feeling the soft and fuzzied paper, noting that it wasn't even a new envelope, wondering how many times it had been used previously and what it had been used for. When he did finally open the envelope he noted that at least the folded paper appeared to be new. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was aware that the shower had turned off as he finally opened the letter and began to read.
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Eren,
If you are reading this then I am already dead. I'm sure that you have a lot of questions and I can only begin to guess at what they might be. I will do my best to explain here, although I do not know how far along you've come. I do wish to start off with an apology though. I'm sorry that I left and that I couldn't be there. I'm sorry that your mother is dead. I'm sorry for what you and Mikasa have had to go through and I can only imagine what you've had to go through recently.
Finding this letter means that you've found the hard drive as well. I can only answer so many of your questions in this letter lest it be found by the wrong people. I assure you that what is on the hard drive will answer the rest of your questions.
To be reading this I'd imagine you must have stumbled onto something with the Cronus Project. I should never have gotten involved. When I tried to leave they threatened me and when that failed, they threatened that they would harm my family. I left and continued to work on the project in order to shield you from them. I wish I could have explained, but I wanted to keep you safe. When things progressed further I disappeared and they followed through on their threat against my family. It was by their design that Maria Wall collapsed.
I've never been one to be grateful for the death of others, but the chaos after Pixis died made it too difficult for them to get at you and Mikasa. You were safe in South Stationary. Hannes was not an unintelligent man and I allowed whispers of what I had been working on to reach him. He did as I hoped he would and set about erasing your and Mikasa's lives. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to finish completely prior to his untimely end. However, it bought you time. You both disappeared completely for a year. A year in which I did my damnedest to get more than a few steps ahead of the Children of Othrys, a group you know as the Titans.
There are three boxes of records for the Cronus Project on the storage shelf and the hard drive has the key to deciphering the information contained in those files. If you are here then you must have some powerful allies and hopefully they will be able to aid you.
Good luck.
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Levi was out of the shower and brushing his teeth when he heard the thud against the wall. He quickly rinsed his mouth before hurrying out of the bathroom, nerves coiled tight and ready to attack an intruder. What he found instead was Eren drawing his fist back, knuckles skinned and getting ready to punch the wall again. There was only a moment of hesitation before he stepped forward, grabbing Eren by the shirt collar and pulling him back roughly before his fist could connect with the wall again. They both stared at each other for a split second – Levi shocked and Eren furious – before Eren threw a punch at him. It caught Levi by surprise and he didn't react in time, Eren's right fist coming into heavy contact with his shoulder. As he pulled his arm back again Levi shoved him away roughly so that he tripped backwards onto the bed. Eren pushed himself up again quickly with a growl of frustration, swinging at Levi with his left fist. Levi was prepared this time and caught Eren's forearm in a bruising grip, grabbing his right as well as he brought it down weakly against Levi's chest, finally letting go when the tension left Eren's body, his arms dropping limply to his sides.
"What the fuck, Eren?" He dropped his head, refusing to look at Levi. After a moment, Eren spoke.
"Good luck." Eren sniffed wetly. "He said 'good luck' figuring his cryptic bullshit out."
"It wasn't an easy letter to read. I should have warned you." Levi tensed as Eren moved closer and dropped his forehead to Levi's shoulder, letting out a sob.
Levi tensed and grimaced as Eren cried loudly into his shoulder, occasionally muttering an unintelligible word or two between shaky wet breaths. As time passed, Levi became more and more uncomfortable, uncertain of how to react to Eren's continued tears. He could practically see Hanji rolling their eyes as he raised his arms jerkily so that his palms were resting on Eren's shoulder blades in an awkward attempt at comfort, clumsily patting his back in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. Levi continued to move his hands mechanically as they stood still, waiting for Eren's sobs to even out into periodic sniffles, finally letting out a small sigh of relief as Eren picked his head up and backed away, wiping at his eyes.
"Sorry." Eren's voice was throaty and rough.
"You know, if you'd come at me like that way back when, that fight might have ended up a bit differently." A wet chuckle escaped Eren as he scrubbed at his eyes.
"I shouldn't have." Eren scratched at his stubble and Levi said nothing. "I used to have awful anger management issues when I was younger. Even at the beginning of college."
"Wow, I can't imagine why." Eren shook his head at Levi's sarcasm.
"No, even before he left. Just got worse after."
"Well, except for that little tantrum, I'd say you're doing pretty well. I don't think anyone would fault you for that either. Kind of a bomb to have dropped on you."
"He said Mikasa and I were safe in South Stationary." Eren took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back. "What fucking planet is he on?"
"So Grisha's still a shitfuck. Nothing's changed there. You just know he didn't leave you behind just because." Levi watched as Eren fell back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling.
"He said he was sorry…"
"Great, he apologized. You aren't required to forgive him." Eren turned to face him. "Besides, he's dead anyway."
"I'm sure a therapist would say something about needing to let go of my anger."
"Well, I'm not a therapist." Eren turned away and smiled.
"You'd be a pretty awful therapist."
"No shit." Levi sat down on his own bed and rubbed at his temples.
"Oh." Eren sat up suddenly and started going through his bag from the sundry shop. "I got you a belated birthday gift. Also as an apology for you having to deal with snipers and car chases."
"I don't know that a stick of gum is going to make up for nearly getting shot."
"That was for me. Here." Eren held a small box out to Levi. "They only had hot pink and beige and I figured you wouldn't want them to be obvious so…"
"Thank you." Levi's voice was soft as he looked down at the box of earplugs in his hands.
"How bad is it?" Seeing Levi's confused expression, Eren elaborated. "The whole super fucking acute hearing and seeing thing."
"It was really bad when I was younger. You learn to deal with it though." He frowned. "Not to say that I like dealing with it."
"The hearing thing I get being painful, but what about seeing?"
"Photosensitivity. Hanji can make custom earplugs and those help a lot but contacts irritate my eyes badly and glasses are more annoying than useful."
"So you working at night… your abilities are disabilities during the day."
"I wouldn't go that far, but yeah, it's difficult to work when you have a fucking migraine. Thankfully most stuff happens at night anyway."
"You've been working mostly during the day for a while now."
"Yeah."
"Are you okay?"
"I've been better." Levi ignored Eren's look of concern and stood up suddenly. Eren turned away hastily as he began to strip off the shirt that Eren had been crying on and took a clean one from his bag. "I told Hanji about a bit of what was in the letter. Mostly just the hard drive and that we lost the boxes of files." He paused as he took his sweater out of the bag of clean laundry and pulled it over his head. "Anything beyond that is up to you."
"And if I don't want to tell them anything else?" He turned back to look at Levi who simply shrugged in response.
"The letter was addressed to you. I read it first because I wanted to know if it was something actually worth you reading or not." Levi let out a sigh. "Also I wanted to know ahead of time if you were going to go completely ballistic."
"I kind of punched you."
"There was nothing 'kind of' about that." The corner of Levi's mouth twitched. "You can throw a good punch when you're in the mood."
"I used to be awful. Got my ass handed to me regularly. I don't know how many times Mikasa had to save me when I was younger. When I met Annie in high school she taught me how to fight." Eren smiled and let out a quiet laugh. "I could never beat her. Well, there were a lot of people I couldn't win against, but she taught me to hold my own."
"Annie?"
"A friend from Shiganshina. She was from South End so we only saw each other at school." Eren paused and frowned. "She's probably in the military now. At least, that's what her dad wanted her to do after graduation."
"What did she want?"
"I don't know."
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They were silent the rest of the evening, exhaustion setting in deeply and making them lethargic. Before crawling under the covers, Levi moved the gun that Irene had given them, placing it on the nightstand with the heavy sound of metal on wood. They both stared at it, the symbol of just how much of a corner they'd been backed into. Finally they both crawled under the covers of their respective beds, Eren leaning over to turn off the lights while Levi burrowed in deeply and pulled the covers up over his head.