Cassi and Jake sit beside each other on the couch. They are too close to each other to be acquaintances, but they keep more distance between them than two people in love. They are teenagers, and love is awkward. I remember the feeling.

Having Jake with us changes my storytelling approach. Owls are revised to letters. Pictures in the paper don't move, and no eyebrows are accidentally removed. The invisibility cloak and Room of Requirement disappear from my retelling completely.

"Where was I? Right. Scorpius and I had found an old dormitory and snuck away for a quick snog. Elizabeth Creevey and my ex-boyfriend were hiding in the closet, taking notes. Elizabeth snuck out for some pictures, and Scorpius and I noticed her. As we ran back toward the post office so I could write my parents before they found Elizabeth's gossip column, Scorpius and I got in a fight..."

But inside my mind, as I sort out the details. The magic stays.

Scorpius or no Scorpius, I had a letter to send. Gossip always spreads quicker than letters and I knew there was a chance my mum would be sitting in her office the next morning with a hand-printed copy of Elizabeth's paper in hand. Right there on the front page would be my bare chest against Scorpius's, leaning in for a kiss, with a scandalous caption below.

I paused, out of breath, inside the dank owlery and conjured parchment and a quill.

Mum,

You've always taught me not to believe everything I read in the papers. I hope you will remember this apt advice whenever the news reaches you.

Love,

Rose

P.S. Here are recent events of my life in chronological order:

1. I dated Bryan Macmillan for a few months (and I already know it was a mistake so you don't have to tell me)

2. We broke up

3. I started dating Scorpius

My own owl wouldn't do for this letter. I needed a fast one. I found a small owl in a corner and whistled for him. "Take this to Hermione Weasley," I told it. "Fast."

In better circumstances, I would have wanted the chance to explain how Scorpius and I started dating, since I knew there was a part of my dad that still didn't approve our being friends at all. But I needed the letter gone. She could ask for an explanation in her reply if she needed one so badly.

Curfew was approaching, so I wound my way back to Ravenclaw Tower and found Kavya in our dorm room. She was lounging on her bed with a copy of Witch Weekly, and looked up as I sat down next to her. "Your sleek hair didn't last long," she said.

"He didn't like it."

"Seriously? You looked hot."

"I am fully aware. But he made it his personal mission to try to get it back to normal again." I grinned.

She scrutinized me in comic over-exaggeration. "I'd say he succeeded. It's official now?"

"It's official now," I said, and segued into the current crisis. "And the whole school will know by tomorrow morning, guaranteed."

"What happened?"

I told her about Elizabeth and Bryan's visit to the Room of Requirement.

"Shit." That summed up the whole situation nicely. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing to be done. Elizabeth won't be bribed out of a story this big, I know it. I wrote my parents. I just hope that owl flies faster than gossip."

She laughed nervously. "That's impossible."

Samantha Clearwater ran into the room. "Did you seriously snog and/or shag Scorpius Malfoy in the Room of Requirement?"

Kavya looked pointedly at me. "See?"

"Where'd you hear it?" I asked Samantha.

"Well my little sister is best friends with Ellen Smith, who was eating dinner with Melody Whimple, and everyone knows she is best friends with Elizabeth Creevey."

"So your sister told you?"

Samantha pursed her lips. "Not exactly. Liam Zabini overheard Lydia talking with Ellen, and he's dating Lily Potter, and she was out by the lake with Kaelyn Finnigan, and I was out by the lake with Justin, of course, when Kaelyn got my attention because we have Herbology together and she forgot what the homework was… and then she told me."

"Wait," I said. "I'm not sure if I follow. Elizabeth told Melody, who told Ellen, who told your sister, and Liam overheard and told Lily, who told Kaelyn who told you?"

Before Samantha could respond, Kavya said, "I understood just fine. Your owl is not gonna be fast enough."

"So you did snog him? Or shag him?! Excellent! I can't wait to go tell-"

"Don't bother," I said. "They probably already know."

She crumpled onto her bed. "You're right. Of course you're right. It was hours ago, wasn't it? I bet all of Durmstrang knows by now."

"Shit."

"What? He's hot. You'll be the envy of most of the girls and some of the guys for snagging a shag with him."

"Do you realise who my parents are? I wouldn't have minded some privacy."

She looked me over, from my mother's hair to my father's nose and freckles, to the ink smeared along the side of my right hand. "You'll be getting a Howler at breakfast tomorrow, in case anyone missed the news."

"Yes. I can't wait. I'm gonna go to bed. Maybe then tomorrow will come even faster." I Summoned my pyjamas from the trunk at the end of my bed. "And the day after that will come sooner, too. And the day when everyone finally forgets this happened."

The next morning, everyone still remembered. I heard the whispers all the way to breakfast and Elizabeth's paper wasn't even in circulation yet. Bryan sat at the Hufflepuff table, but instead of sitting by his few friends at the end of the table, he was right in the centre and the crowd around him had grown so thick it encapsulated the walkways between tables.

"Did she really make you watch her snog Scorpius?" a Gryffindor third-year asked.

"Full-Body Bind and everything," Bryan said. "I couldn't even close my eyes."

"Wow, what a slut," a Slytherin said. "And look who's coming this way. Hey, Slutty McWeasley, want a quick shag before breakfast?"

"Not with you, loser," Kavya said in my defence.

I couldn't respond. I stared at Bryan, mouth slightly agape. My hands began to tremble and I had to bring them close to my chest, balled together until my knuckles turned white, to hide it. My face warmed and my eyes watered and I felt like a little kid again, five years old, angry and about to do accidental magic for the first time. I didn't back down from the contest with Bryan, who stared right back, smug. I wanted the magic to come. I thought about his hair half-shaved and an eyebrow gone. I thought about what good a missing elbow would do him, or a swift kick in the pants. That was what he really needed, and I concentrated my anger and embarrassment on what would cause the most pain.

Arms wrapped around me and tangled against my neck. I felt like I could choke. "Just grab your wand and use a spell already," Scorpius said, breaking mine.

"Wandless magic would have been more impressive," I said without turning around.

"He isn't worthy of impressive. Just get the job done." He eyed the table where half our professors were still eating. "Discreetly."

I unballed my fists and shoved my hands into my pockets. It was a good thing non-verbal magic was practically a requirement of sixth-year lessons. It didn't take ten seconds before Bryan screamed, "Sweet magical mother of Merlin, what is that?!" Then he curled up under the table and began to sob.

His story now very obviously over, the crowd around him dissipated, uninterested in his pain now that it was physical and not worthy of being a Celestina Warbeck song.

"Sit with me?" Scorpius asked.

"With the Slytherins?"

"Why not? You scared?"

I smiled. "Elizabeth is a Gryffindor."

"Right," he said as we moved toward the Slytherin table. "This isn't over yet, is it?"

"I doubt it. Paper's not even out yet." I looked around the room as we sat down. Paper aeroplanes-made of newspapers-were flying toward every student. "OK, now it's out," I corrected myself. "Should we look?"

"I'd rather know for myself what it says, so we can know when people are exaggerating."

"All right," I said, catching a paper aeroplane. I closed my eyes as I unfolded it. "How bad?"

"Not as bad as you're thinking, but worse than you want it to be."

I opened my eyes. The front cover was half covered in our picture. The covers were pulled up nearly to my collarbone, so while I was clearly shirtless, I wasn't indecent. The only movement Elizabeth captured was me snuggling in to Scorpius's shoulder and his arm wrapping tightly around me. So the picture I could live with. It was time to see how she spun the text.

Sworn Enemies or Bedfellows?

Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy, whose families have long been known as enemies, were caught recently snuggled up in bed together. Were they trading family secrets? An ancient European practice involved marrying the royal children from two warring nations in order to promote peace. Has such a cynical arrangement been made between the daughter of war heroes Ron and Hermione Weasley and the son of ex-Death Eater Draco Malfoy?

This reporter hopes so, because the other option is much more sinister. After all, Rose Weasley, at the time of this photograph, was in a relationship with Bryan Macmillan. Only days before, the happy couple were exploring Hogwarts grounds together. Bryan has said he had planned on being with her forever, and was considering taking the next step in their relationship.

"All I wanted was her," he said. "I don't know what's so unreasonable about wanting my girlfriend to stay true to me."

Everyone is with you, Bryan. We hope you can pull through and see Rose for what she really is.

Rose and Scorpius had no comment as of the time of this printing.

"Really?" Scorpius said. "An arranged marriage to appease our parents? Really? I don't think it matters whether your owl reached your mum or not. She won't send a Howler. Too hard to shout when you're bent over laughing."

"Yeah, someone's been studying Rita Skeeter. I wouldn't be surprised if Elizabeth has her eyes on Rita's retirement as her chance to make a by-line in Witch Weekly."

It took less than five minutes for Mum's owl to fly in and start pecking at my wrist. The envelope he carried was distinctly not red.

Rose,

Your owl reached me minutes before the Hogwarts Daily did. I am very disappointed in you. I always thought it would take you until seventh year to realise you were in love with Scorpius. Your Dad thought it would be sixth year. I now owe him five Galleons. I think, as punishment for dating someone as pretentious as Bryan in the first place, you should pay me, your loving mother, five Galleons. You may send them by way of our owl.

Love,

Mum

P.S. I love you, Rose. So much. I'm glad you and Scorpius will have this figured out.

I finished reading the letter. "Hey, Scorpius?"

"Yeah?"

"You ever heard of 'Happily ever after?'"

"Wait," Jake says. "Why did your mum mail you a letter? Couldn't she email you? Or call you? Or text you or something? And why did you need to mail back the £25? What about ? I mean, I know you're kind of old, but you're not that old. You were sixteen in what, the 2020s?"

"2022," I say, sending a glance to Scorpius. "But we went to a very old fashioned school, where they believed in learning with pencil and paper. No WiFi, not even any computers."

"Wow," he said. "And there still aren't and you let Cassi go there? How does it prepare you for the real world?"

Cassi looks at me awkwardly. I sense all the questions in her eyes. She wonders whether she should tell him about her magic. She seeks forgiveness for lying to him. Maybe letting him hear the end of our love story wasn't such a good idea after all.

"There's a unique skill set learned, that's for sure. But I'd say Scorpius and I adapted well enough, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, for parents, you two are pretty cool."

"Thanks, Jake. So, since I deprived Cassi of texting you for a few hours there at the end, why don't you two go for a walk?"

"You mean it, Mum?"

"Of course I do, Cass. Have fun."