Note: Location brought to you by starrysky (Thanks, because that led to a good idea!) Inevitable outcome laughed at by husband, also. (Passed the test!)

I might have to call this fic complete unless I have any more ideas. Suggestions are always welcome.

"Hey, Ruby."

She snapped awake, sitting upright with a jerking motion, blinking in confusion and panic. Remembered that she was in the Hills and calmed down, then looked down at her hands. ...She was holding MacCready's hat, sitting in the chair across from the couch in her old house, and she'd fallen asleep at some point. MacCready was still sleeping on the couch, arms and legs tangled across the stained canvas.

Ruby blinked again, and rubbed her eyes. Who was talking to her? She turned her head and felt the slowness of her brain as she struggled to wake up.

Hancock was leaning into the side of the house through one of the holes, elbows out and hands hanging loosely over the edge of the broken wall. "Hey, you awake?" he asked, quietly.

"You could call it that," she mumbled, after staring blankly at him for a moment. She rubbed her eyes again.

"Looks like you went a couple rounds," he whispered, gesturing to MacCready. "Anything happen?"

She glanced to the side, at the former Gunner, then shook her head. "No."

Hancock nodded, then shot her a curious look. "Listen, if you got a moment..."

"Yeah, I'm coming," she muttered, pushing herself out of the chair and stretching. She moved around the couches toward the door, placing MacCready's hat on the broken hat rack. She stepped out of the house and stretched again, as Hancock came up to her side.

"What's going on, John?" she asked, yawning.

He made a grumbling noise, then scratched the skin under his chin. "Just wanted to powwow with you about some things," he said, vaguely. "Go for a walk?"

Ruby shot a look back at the house, squinting her eyes against the rising sun. "I guess we could," she answered, unsure.

Hancock made a waving motion with two fingers and started off toward the east side of the Hills, toward a small pier. The same place she'd had the conversation with him about Danse being a synth, where she'd done her first―and last―hit of jet. Ruby yawned again as she trudged through the bushes after him, only stopping when he did. As his boots hit the boards of the pier, he slowed and turned his head to look up at the sky.

"So what did you want to talk about?" she asked, quietly.

Hancock stared out over the surrounding area for a while, then turned his head to look at her. She remembered, when she'd first met him, how he'd stabbed a man right in front of her. No doubt Hancock was dangerous, but when she'd finally gotten inside Goodneighbor she was willing to put up with all manner of crazy. Boston had gone insane―and finding somewhere to sit down and not be harassed was a miracle, at that point.

Hancock looked back at her, his face blank. "You're a good person, sister," he said, briefly. "Making life better for everyone."

"That was the plan," she said, cautiously. Wondered why he was thinking about ideals and morality.

"You and me, out in the Commonwealth, bringing hell to folks that deserve it..." He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, staring at her. "That's the path we walk, right?"

Ruby opened and closed her mouth, and frowned at him. "Yes?" she said, making a face. "I... is something wrong, John?"

"Sorta," he said, shrugging a shoulder and taking a drag on his cigarette. "I'm not happy with some of the things going on."

Ruby stared at him for a time. Didn't know―she'd just done all that―Silver Shroud crap, and he'd seemed happy enough afterward. Had acted like it, anyway. "What do you mean," she asked, confused.

"That," he said, gesturing at the Hills. "You and me, we're golden. Ain't got much to complain about. Well, there's the Brahmin, but―" he grinned a little, and shook his head. "Expect I don't smell too pretty, either."

She made another face. "If you're referring to MacCready..." she started, but he interrupted.

"Yeah, thought so," he muttered, turning his gaze to the north. He went quiet, then slowly let out a sigh. "Look, MacCready's a good sort."

"I know," she answered, her own voice quiet. "I'm not doing very good by him. I mean to change that."

"Don't say it. Do it." Hancock shot her a hard look. "Got him spinning in a fucking circle, no idea which way is up."

"I know," she repeated, guiltily. Looked down at her feet and felt her face flushing. "But it's... it's not something I... can deal with, easy. After..."

"You tell me it's not easy, after I seen you got your foot square on on the neck of that Brotherhood asshole?" Hancock said, not caving. "I know what you do with words. You saying you can't say a few to the village idiot?"

She sighed. "I was going to tell him tod―" she began.

"You need to make things right. No more bullshit." Hancock glanced away. "If you can't commit, you let him walk. Brother deserves that much, at least."

Ruby felt a little angry, then. Stared at Hancock for a moment, setting her mouth into a thin line. "I don't know what you mean by this, John," she said, pointedly. "I can't exactly―"

"Christ," he muttered, tossing the cigarette. "Now you're making excuses?"

"It's not―" she said, angrily. "MacCready isn't―"

Hancock moved closer to her, grabbing her chin and lifting her eyes up so he could stare at her with unblinking black eyes. Looked right into hers for so long, his rough fingers on her skin, that she wasn't sure exactly what he intended by the gesture. It made her very uncomfortable―

"Don't think you realize how many people you got lined up," he murmured.

Her eyebrows drew together. "What?" she asked, more confused.

Hancock leaned in closer, putting his face into hers, and she could smell the strange smell of ghoul coming from him. It was... she put her hands up to his shoulders, meaning to push him away, but he was quicker.

He moved with a jerk, walking off a few steps, and lowered his head. Pulled out his knife, started playing with it. "Just tell the man, already," he said, sounding disappointed with himself.

Ruby took a deep breath and turned on one heel, walking back to the Hills. Whatever the hell he was on about, she really didn't have the mental ability to handle. Not this early in the morning.

God, but now she had both Danse and John chiding her for this shit―

It was noon before they'd made their way down to the co-op. Ruby'd had a mean look on her face the whole trip, and he didn't blame her.

Not when he'd screwed up her plans. After he'd woken up inside her old house without much memory as to how he'd gotten there, she'd ordered him to follow her in a really unfriendly way. All he could do was duck his head in shame and walk along behind her, angry with himself.

Shouldn't have been drinking, shouldn't have ended up―she was probably still angry with him after the Gullet―someone probably told her he was in her house. Wouldn't put it past Danse to make sure he ended up there―as if he needed help with screwing himself over more―

Ruby hadn't gone back to her old house. He knew why. It was the same reason he'd broken down in the Gullet. Too much to remind her about the past, too much to cry about―and him sleeping on her damn couch was almost as bad as walking on her husband's grave.

He wouldn't kid himself. He'd fucked up and he'd fucked up bad. She had every right to be angry at him.

He was downright pissed at himself, for being so goddamn stupid. For letting things get so strained.

His being angry at himself and her attitude made for a very stressful day. Ruby's plan was to head out to Sunshine Tidings, build up the existing houses with the settlers, then head south to that stockpile place and clear out the residual raiders. MacCready made himself useful―far away from her―picking tatoes, as she banged away up on a roof on the hill.

Dammit. Just―goddammit! Didn't know what to do, what to say, how to make it better. All he could think about was how―how he'd tried, and he'd failed, and how it felt like she didn't want him around, even if she still told him to come with her. How angry she'd been, how she'd done nothing to make it better.

He'd tried. He'd tried and tried, and all he could be was himself, and if she didn't want that around her, then to hell with―

MacCready jammed his eyes shut and breathed out, shakily. He really was done with everything. Couldn't help but get angry about it all.

All he could think about was how she'd responded to Danse. How that asshole made her feel better. She'd gone out and saved Danse's life, and she couldn't bother to say a single word to him about―about anything at all?! She couldn't even bother to come find him, herself, sending the synth freak out to get him for her. What the hell was up with that!?

It was easier to be mad. To lose himself to his temper and let the confusion give way to it, instead of feeling useless. To hell with being reasonable. Never worked out for him, anyway.

The sun set over the co-op, and Ruby made her way down to to the tato patch, watching him weeding the plants. She looked tired, but he didn't care. Was too angry to think straight. Whatever she had to say―

"MacCready," she said. "You ready to go?"

He didn't answer. Whatever she'd been angry about, seemed like it was over with by now. But he was still angry―and he wasn't letting go of that, easy. Never could.

"MacCready?" she asked, her voice guarded. "Is... something wrong?"

"You tell me," he snapped, unable to contain himself. Sat back on his heels in the dirt and stared at the tato plant in front of him.

Ruby sighed, and crouched down to his level. "I..." she said, resignedly. "I meant to apologize, earlier."

He shot her an angry look, saw her staring at her knees with a tired and sad look on her face. Ruby breathed out another sigh and met his eyes, her face tortured. "Didn't want to have this conversation in public," she said.

He looked back at the tato and snorted. "Anything you want to say to me, you can say right now," he argued, grabbing out a weed with more force than was necessary.

Ruby was quiet for a long time, then she sat on her ass in the dirt, staring at him. "I haven't been treating you very well," she began. "I'm sorry. For that."

Yeah, that was all good and well. MacCready rolled his eyes. Anyone could say they were sorry. Took a whole different kind of person to show they meant it.

"We've been good friends for a while now," she said, slowly. "And I don't want to risk that. So..." She brushed a bit of hair out of her face.

"You've changed," he said, angrily. "Acting like you're angry at me. Ignoring me." He glanced up at her with a hard look. "It's almost like you wish I wasn't around."

"I know," she repeated, simply.

"I just want things to go back to the way they were," he muttered, staring at the weeds in his hands. Back to when―to before he'd fucked it all up in that Vault, back to before he fell in love. Easier to be just friends―

"Well," she said, her voice emotionless. "We can't go back."

He remembered the pain of losing Lucy. The guilt he'd put on himself for years after, blaming himself for being stupid, the worthlessness. Ruby made that flare up again, just―just because he'd fallen in love with her. And hearing this? This―

This horseshit right here, this was worse.

"If you didn't want my help or advice, why did you hire me in the first place!" he yelled, unable to keep his temper any longer. Threw down the weeds as he stood and glared at her, furiously.

Ruby closed her eyes. "I do want your help," she said, her voice growing small.

"Do you want me to leave?" he went on. "Because I don't really see a reason why I shouldn't!"

"No, I want you to stay," she answered, staring at him, her face tilted.

"Then stop acting like you don't," he snapped. "I―"

"MacCready," she said, commandingly, and he shut his mouth quickly. Bit his tongue and waited for her to say something―anything! Anything at this point would be better than her constantly ignoring―

Ruby stood, facing him down. Her hands were clenched under her crossed arms. "We can't go back to the way things were," she said, her voice shaking, "...because I was hoping what we have... could be more than friendship." She looked down at her feet as her face turned pink.

The first thing he thought was that it didn't make it any better, her saying that she―

The second thing he thought was a blank static filling up his head. It took him a whole minute and a half of silence to fully understand what she'd just said, and to form a reply. Couldn't even stop himself from being entirely confused.

"I―" he started, then blinked at her. "What?"

Ruby covered her eyes for a second or two. "I'm sorry I've been ignoring you," she said, sounding disappointed in herself. "You... you were... making me upset, and I didn't know how to deal with it." She closed her eyes. "I wasn't ready for... for that, at the time."

"Yeah, okay," he muttered, to himself. Was still angry at himself and at her. But, last time... she'd started talking to him again, after she told him about Shaun. He'd thought that made things less strained between them. She'd picked on him a little even, made jokes. Seemed like it was all back to normal then.

Felt the same as that, now. Was it a trap or something? He'd never understand women. Lucy hadn't been like this. He didn't know if he should accept what she was saying, and let her talk―or if he should―

He didn't know. Defend himself, push the anger out there, let her know how he felt? Ruby didn't lie to people, she just kept her mouth shut. Any time she said something, she meant to say it.

So... he knew she meant what she'd said. About wanting more. Still felt weird, but―

"Can you give me a chance?" she asked, carefully. "If you're... mad, I understand. I'm sorry."

Danse said he wasn't the right fit. MacCready could barely remember what'd gone on in the bar, but he did remember that. Said he'd felt the same―maybe he'd tried something and she shot him down, too.

But she wasn't shooting him down, right now. He still couldn't wrap his head around that. Didn't―didn't know if he could believe it was real, what was happening. He shot Ruby a glance, saw her waiting for the hit. She expected him to say that he was done with her―to say no.

He sighed, leaned back on his heels, and stared at her. "What about your husband?" he asked, his voice raw. "You still... how can you let that go, after everything?"

"I'll always love Nate," she murmured, painfully. "There's... no way to let go of everything." She opened her eyes and stared at him, tears threatening her face. "But he's gone, MacCready. It'll never be the same, ever again. All I can do now... is keep moving forward."

He remembered that, too. How hard it had been after Lucy was gone. How much he'd lost, how bad it hurt. Like he'd told Ruby―it wouldn't kill her. But it hurt like hell.

"I'd never ask you to forget Lucy, either," she added. "You owe her that much. You owe Duncan, to not forget. It's... okay to remember."

MacCready sighed, rubbing his eyes. He wouldn't forget. She was right. And it wouldn't ever be the same as it had before. But―

"I... I don't really know what to say." He turned himself away from her so she wouldn't see his face. He'd... honestly. Never expected her to make the first move. Never expected she actually felt the same―

Ruby moved across the ground, standing closer to him. She smiled, sadly. "I'm not looking for any special favors," she said, slowly. "Got a lot to make up for. I treated you worse than I meant to." She sighed, closing her eyes.

MacCready stared at her, unsure what to say. "You... remind me of Nate, a lot of times," she added, her voice breaking up. "I was afraid it was because... because I wanted him. I didn't want to fall in love, and... not be real."

MacCready turned himself to the side, lifting his head to blink away tears. Stared at the co-op barn directly in front of him. Everything she was saying... it hit him really hard. Made him think.

"When he died... I thought that feeling was gone forever. Then I met you." Ruby breathed out in a rush. "I... well..."

She was right. That feeling had been gone. Never thought he'd find himself in love, again. When she came along―when he realized how much she'd let him put on her, and how much he'd needed something like that―it was easy. Easy to fall back into the feelings, to put what he still felt for Lucy, onto her.

Easy to imagine that he wasn't feeling those feelings for Lucy but for Ruby. Never mind that she'd just lost everything―never mind that he had no right going in and making her confused about his intentions.

He'd never really considered that he might have fallen in love with Ruby because of that.

He was an idiot. And now he was worried that he only wanted her because he wanted to feel that same love he'd had with Lucy. That made him feel worse, if it was even possible.

"Hard to be honest with yourself," he muttered, fighting the misery. He couldn't stop lying, even to himself―

Ruby sighed. "No, it's..." she said. "It's more like... I know why I loved him. And... I appreciate everything he did, for―" she shuddered, slightly. "I just have a hard time understanding why he put up with me, why―why he loved me, and now... you."

"We're two sides of the same coin," he muttered. He'd never understood why Lucy loved him, either. Never doubted it, but... he'd lied so damn often.

"Will you give me a chance, MacCready?" she asked again, glancing at him miserably. He could see her crying silently, out of the corner of his eyes. "Give me a chance... to make things better between us, at least?"

He knew he was taking a chance dumping all of his feelings on the table. Didn't think Ruby would take the same chance if it meant she might lose. Words were were forté, something she knew too well. She wouldn't have brought up―all this―

Ruby never lost a battle of words in the entire time he'd been around her. He sure as hell couldn't win against her.

Must be overthinking this. It didn't matter what had happened. Had to appreciate what he got, and...

"Ladies don't just fall into your lap, every day," he said, staring at the barn.

Ruby wiped her face. sniffling and chuckling a little. "I had a feeling you'd understand," she said, her voice lightening.

"Here," he said, reaching into a pocket and fishing out the wooden soldier. "You should have this."

She took the toy, looking at him with a funny face. "I know it's strange," he added, before she could say anything. "It's special. Means a lot to me."

She smiled, softly, and stared at it in her hand for a long while. "Lucy gave it to me," he told her. "After we met. I, uh... I told her I was a soldier, and she made it for me."

She smiled. "I like it," she said, quietly. "Thank you, MacCready."

"Never could bring myself to tell her the truth," he said, ruefully. "That I was just a hired killer."

"Sometimes people have to skirt the truth," she replied, turning the toy over in her hand. "For the sake of good intentions."

He nodded, mostly to himself. "Yeah," he agreed.

"I'm sorry I made you angry," Ruby said, dropping her hand and looking up at him. "Because I wasn't talking to you."

MacCready glanced away. "It's okay," he muttered. Had a real hard time believing it, but... for once in his life, everything was going right.

It was... really weird. Ruby leaned forward, even closer to him. "Hey," she said, softly. "Look, I'm..."

He turned, grabbing her up into an awkward hug. Probably squeezed a little too hard, because she chuckled and coughed at the same time. MacCready stared blankly at the ground, for a long time, just holding her.

Lucky. Didn't wanna let go. Ever.

"Alright, c'mon," she murmured into his ear. "We're making a scene."

"Sell tickets, then," he muttered, squeezing her tighter.

She chuckled again, tangling her fingers in his hair and rubbing her forehead on the side of his neck.

Didn't know what karma he cashed... but he definitely didn't deserve someone as good as her.

But who cared?