Chapter 12:
After her talk with the Chief, the first few times with the Cullens had been uncomfortable. She knew their secret, it did cause her to look at them differently, but in worry she would harm them, not the other way around. Whenever they talked about Jacob or Renesmee, she couldn't help but feel uneasy.
Her great uncle was still alive, and he left the tribe unprotected, she couldn't help a sort of annoyance run through her. She knew the moment she met the boy she would resent him. Her Great uncle, she scoffed, he was a coward.
But she knew the unease she felt was just temporary. Because after two weeks, she was back with Jasper on a hike through the Forks woods. She could feel her annoyance that he constantly had surprises for her, but she wasn't sure why her emotions were so all over the place.
She thought back to what James said, Jasper was an empath. Did that mean he could feel her emotions? She felt suddenly uneasy and her stomach got a twisted feeling but she tried to push it aside.
"Jazz, where are we going!" She demanded with groaned as she tripped again over a brush of twigs. He smirked and sighed before he finally slung her on his back and just piggy backed her the rest of the way. She had to admit the surprise was well worth it. They came to a beautiful meadow that had dozens of different color flowers everywhere. "It's gorgeous."
"This is a place Edward found a while back when he was out hiking. He told me how to get here and I figured it would be great for a day out." He smiled brightly, pulling out a blanket and laying it down for them. He took off his hiking gear, laying gently on the blanket and pulled the girl down with him.
This was the first time they'd ever been truly alone since their first date, which felt like a lifetime ago. He placed her hand in his, kissing it gently. She couldn't help but notice the differences between them. His skin was pale white, while hers was a light olive tan color. Her eyes were an emerald green while his were golden brown. Her hair was long and russet colored while his was honey blond.
They were complete polar opposites but in this moment she never felt more similar to someone. She knew he still hid his secret from her, but she now housed one of her own, and she suddenly felt so guilty from keeping something from him.
"Jazz, can I ask you something?" She said sadly, admiring the way their hands were perfectly fit for each other's.
"Of course, my love." He whispered softly into her ear, and she shivered at his voice that was so close to her.
"Why did you chose me? There were tons of girls falling all over you at school, yet you chose the one who had a boyfriend and enough emotional strain for eight teenagers. Why?" She asked softly. She was genuinely curious.
She thought of Mallory, who was a gorgeous blond that Jesse had dated before her who had practically given Jasper a lap dance in order for him to say yes to a date, but he still declined. She sighed at the thought of Jesse. He told everyone at school he dumped her because she cheated on him with Jasper. While the rumor was not true, she could not care less.
As long as no one knew the real reason, she was content with the world as it was. She could feel Jasper's breathing even out, and she could feel the thoughts running through his brain. She waited patiently.
"The moment I saw you, I couldn't help but see the emotion behind your eyes. You were different than everyone else. You knew the world had evil but yet you still chose to see the good. You didn't shy away from something turned badly, you embraced it. And it was a quality that instantly attracted me to you." He kissed her neck softly and she sighed contently. She admired the fact that he didn't give her a cliché answer he thought she would want. He answered her as well as he could. "Now let me ask you something."
"Shoot."
"I know that Jesse hurt you, but you seemed content in your own shell with him. Do you ever regret meeting me?" He whispered, and she could sense the fear in his voice, but also the understanding. She turned around in his arms so she was facing him, and she placed a soft hand on his cheek.
"Honestly?" She asked, and he nodded. "At first, yeah. But that's only because I had built this wall up, and I wasn't used to it being broken down, I had accept the world as I thought it was. Cold, and unfair. But you showed me there was more to it. That sometimes it doesn't always end badly."
"So you don't regret being with me instead of him?" Jasper asked quietly, complete understanding in his eyes.
"Jazz, I'm in love with you. I was never in love with him." She kissed him softly, closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around his neck. But as soon as the kiss started it ended when she felt the place where his body had been completely empty. She saw sun shinning in the sky and Jasper was nowhere to be seen. "Jazz, you're not going to burn, come on."
"How do you know that?" She heard his voice but she still could not see him.
"Because I know everything." She said with sureness in her voice, but he was still nowhere to be seen. "Jazz, come back."
It took a few moments before he came from the lining of the trees, and there he was. He stepped into the sun and it was like a thousand diamonds all reflecting. Her eyes opened in awe, he walked over slowly. "You're not afraid? What do you know?"
"Jazz, I know you're vampire. I know everything, I know your family is too, and I know what Jacob and Renesmee are." His eyes were wide and he was sat still in shock, but she ignored it. She laughed as she moved back into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"But how?"
"You seem to forget I am from the Reservation. I know all the legends, well they're not really legends. They're true. Clearly." She laughed softly before kissing his nose.
"You know everything and you are not afraid?"
"Jazz, you're the same person I fell in love with, you just have a different description now. If I was afraid I would have told you." Again, she started to trace lines on his skin, the cool marble feeling of his inhuman barriers was perfectly flawless. "You're amazing."
"I don't understand how you can still love me after finding this out." He whispered, but she quieted him with her lips. A sort of desperation took over her. She had no idea, but for some reason she felt a burning desire to be close to him.
She knew in that moment she would not be able to let him go easily. Nothing the world threw at them would tear them apart, and she needed to find a way to show him. She subconsciously started to unbutton his dress shirt and kissing down his throat to where his collarbone was, but he stopped her. "Allison, we can't."
"Yes, we can." She tried to ignore the feeling of rejection he was giving her. She was desperate, she had only recently realized the only person she had been intimate with was Jesse, and she didn't want his touch to be the last she felt. She needed a clean slate, and for once she wanted one too. "Please, Jazz."
"Ally, it's dangerous, and not to mention the complications Bella and Edward had-"
"I have protection." She said simply, starting to kiss his mouth again in attempts to stop his objections. He went to push her away softly but she pulled back. "Do you not want to?"
"Of course I do! It's not that-"
"Then stop worrying. Let me worry about the rest. It won't be like with Bella and Edward." She insisted, not backing down from his stare. "Jazz, please. I want you, I need you. I can't wait anymore."
She could feel herself begging, but she wasn't sure why, why she was so desperate for his touch. He pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and kissed her neck. "A vampire using a condom. This is one for the books."
She laid in his arms, perfectly content with the world. She could see the blissful smile on his face. "See that wasn't so bad."
"Well the blanket sure didn't survive." He laughed as he pulled up ripped shards of material in his hand. She laughed loudly, sitting up to kiss him on the lips.
"A sacrifice well made I think."
"Yes, in deed." They only got to revel in each other's presence and the feeling of their bare skin together for a few moments before Jasper's phone was shrill at his side. He sighed, reading the caller I.D. "It's Carlisle."
"Answer it." She said worriedly. He nodded, answering the call. The words were so low she couldn't make out what he was saying, but Jasper cast a worried glance to his side at his lovely girl. He hung up with only one answer before giving her a grave look.
"A few vampires are coming to check in on our family tonight, they need me there. They said to come home right away." She nodded quickly, jumping up and stifled a groan at the soreness in her body. He was at her side in an instant. "Allison, I am so sorry."
"For what?" She asked with a laugh. He pointed to her body, where she noticed a few scratches and bruises beginning to form on her skin. She sighed but did not flinch when she touched them softly. "We knew it would be tricky, it doesn't hurt. Sometimes that happens during sex, Jazz. Stop worrying."
His face still held apprehension and she sighed before going over and kissing his mouth with as much force as she could. "Jasper, for once, I'm happy. Completely and utterly happy with the way my life is. Please, stop worrying. Come on, love, we have to go."
He smiled softly, grabbing her chin in his hands and planting a soft and loving kiss. She sighed contently. Her life was perfect in that one moment. She had actually made love, whole-heartedly, with no negative emotions laced in with it. "Let's go, Darlin."
After getting dressed swiftly, she was pulled onto his back and they left the blanket behind that was now in pieces. The speed was exhilarating. It was like nothing she had ever felt before. But as they were slowing down and they stopped at the car, she felt a gnawing at her stomach. The second she was off of his back she ran to the woods and threw up everything that she had consumed for the day.
In her gut, she knew something was wrong. She had been throwing up all week. Jasper was at her side in an instant with a water. She smiled gratefully taking it from him. "Are you okay, should we take you to see Carlisle?"
"No, I'll be fine. I think it was just the speed. I'm still used to traveling at normal speed." She laughed but felt no humor. "Jazz, would we have time to stop at the drug store on the way? I just want to grab something to settle my stomach."
"Of course, Darlin. Are you sure you don't want to see Carlisle?" His words were soft but she could feel the worry behind them. She always felt as if she could feel his emotions when they were together.
"No, it's fine. It's just a human thing. Maybe it's my female time soon." She mused out loud, and he seemed to understand. The ride back was silent, but not uncomfortable. She kept glancing at him through her lashes. But he smiled and laughed and looked over.
"You might as well tell me what you are thinking." He read her thoughts, and she couldn't help the blush that came to her cheeks.
"You'll laugh."
"I would never."
"Promise?"
"On my existence."
"Well…was it different? I mean I'm assuming you and Alice…" He nodded with no comment. "Was it different with a human?"
"Yes. But in a good way. Sparing the details. You're so soft and warm and it's different when you can feel that the other person is your soul mate. It was more intimate."
"Jazz, would you still love me if I chose to stay human?" The question came out before she had time to realize what she had really just said. But he smiled and grasped her hand firmly.
"Ally, I will respect any decision you decide to make. All I want is your happiness. If you are happy I am happy." He said softly, but again she had a bad feeling in her stomach.
"As a vampire, boys can produce children?" He nodded. "Would you ever consider…us having children?"
His face was grave, but overall completely emotionless. "It isn't possible."
"But you just said-"
"It's biologically possible, yes. But I will never watch you go through what Bella did, and risk losing you. I would not risk it." His voice was firm and she saw he offered no room for an option. "Why the sudden interest? In kids I mean."
"I don't know. I feel like it's a logical part of a human's life to debate at least at some point." She mused but the real reason was deep within what she would allow herself to say. They stopped at the corner store and she grabbed her large purse and ran in. She sighed as the rain started down pouring, a clear sign she was not going to be happy with the answer she was trying to get.
She was only gone for a few minutes, and she smiled when she got back in the car. Jasper smiled back, clearly seeing nothing wrong. "You okay, Ally?"
"Never better." She answered back with a fake smile. The rest of the drive was silent. She wished whole-heartedly she could read her mystery boys thoughts. She had just given him a piece of herself she had never really given anyone else. A piece of her heart that opened her to vulnerability, fear, and possibly pain.
Would he tell her if he wasn't satisfied? What if it wasn't good enough? What if she wasn't good enough and he saw that now? Would he love her tomorrow? Next week? Next year?
She had to know. "Jazz, what's so different about us? Your family keeps calling us soul mates, but how would we know?"
He smiled and rubbed circles on her hand, and instantly she relaxed. She could see he was genuinely happy to answer this question.
"As vampires, we are sensitive to humans scents. Their blood, because we live off animals, it's all the more enticing. It's like being a drug addict that's sober. My family knows I've always struggled the most. And when I saw you, I couldn't smell you. As weird as that sounds.
It was like your blood held no scent for me. It didn't hurt to be around you, it's like you're already one of us. And the pull I felt for you, vampires do not just feel that. Usually, when we find out mates we just fall in love. It takes time, it's slow. And with you, I fell in love instantly. I knew you were my mate, and even if I couldn't have you I wanted no one else."
"So if I had stayed with Jesse, you just would have lived alone? You wouldn't of tried to find anyone else?"
"No, I never would have. You are my one."
"What if I die? What if something happens to me?"
"Then I would follow."
"No! Stop! Do not say something like that. I'm human it's bound to happen. You cannot talk like that." She yelled, suddenly feeling uneasy with how simply he spoke of death. "You cannot leave this world. Even if I am not on it."
"I have no reason to live without you."
"You have your entire family. Promise me you won't do something stupid if something happens to me."
"I can't-"
"Jazz, please, for once do as I ask."
"Fine. I promise. For now." She gave him a dark look as they pulled up to her home. "I wish we didn't have to say good bye."
"Only for a little while. Until the visitors leave. Then I will be right over, okay?" He nodded and smiled to her words, pulling her chin in for a long passionate kiss. She pulled back, seeking air and he laughed. He gave her one final kiss before allowing her to exit.
She stood in the rain, watching as the love of her life drove away, only to turn around to find the bane of her existence right there. Jesse Newton stood in the pouring rain by his car she hadn't even noticed was parked in her drive way.
"Why are you here?"
"Wow you and Cullen really got close since we broke up, huh?"
"Jesse. Why are you here?" She demanded, crossing her arms over her chest. He sighed and pushed himself from the car. He sighed and couldn't seem to look her in the eyes. "Jesse."
"I came….I came because I miss you. And I can't stand being without you anymore."
"You miss me? Jesse you raped and beat me and you didn't even seem to care. Yet you miss me?"
"Yes! It's not fair, that Cullen kid comes for a few days and suddenly we were over. It's not right. We are supposed to be together." He seemed to take a step forward, but she took two back. He held his hands up, signally he meant no harm. "I'm sorry. For everything. I am so sorry, Allison. And I promise it'll be better. But I want you back."
"Jesse, it's not possible. I love Jazz."
"You don't even know him!" He exploded, throwing his arms up in the air. "You guys act like you are so in love, it's barely even been a few weeks! We were together for two years! You can forget that so easily?"
"No! Jess, I couldn't. Sometimes I think I miss you, and then I remember how horrible we were together. You hurt me, beat me, and barely ever noticed I existed except when you want something. That's not a relationship. That's prison!" She screamed, this time advancing on him, and he stepped back. She noticed how her frame vibrated as her rage grew worse, and she knew why that was. So she worked hard to cool herself off.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He whispered, and he let his head drop. She noticed how he still couldn't look her in the eyes. "I'm sorry I came. It was dumb."
He got in his car and slammed the door shut, turning it on and slamming on the gas petal in reverse. "Jesse!" But her screams were too late.
She sighed. She could feel the chill of the rain reach her bones, and she ran into the house. She pulled the small brown bag out of her purse and marched upstairs.
At home, she sat on the side of the tub, waiting for the timer she set on her phone to signal the end of the three-minute wait. The three minutes felt like four years. But finally the timer went off, and she had to walk four feet to find out her fate.