Chapter 12: Deep within...
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?/?/?...
I slowly trudge the path ahead of me. Looking around, all I see is thick grey fog everything I see. The fog is so thick, I could barely see what's in front of me. Heck, I could barely see me feet. Which brings me to this question.
"Where am I?"
…
Actually, how did I end up in this situation? I just suddenly found myself in walking this fog for who knows how long. What was I doing before?
"Ugh."
No matter how hard I try to think, I can't remember.
For now, I need a way to get out of the fog.
I summon the card and transfer Thanatos into it.
…
Strange. The Velvet card is not appearing in my hand but I don't remember losing it.
Thanatos?
…
Uh, Orpheus? Messiah? Jack?
...
What is going on?
It's like I've been cut off. It's not like I'm out of range for communication or something, they're in my head. I'll have to get out another way then. This is strange, however. I can't summon at all. I try to summon anything from weapons to items, anything. For reason, I can't use my powers.
Is the fog the cause of it?
I could try to blow it away with garu but that, obviously would require my powers.
This is not good. If I'm trapped in this fog, I'll eventually starve to death. Providing I don't die by some other way
I have to get out of here.
"Of course, part of me wonders why I should I do anything at all if time is going to reset in the end."
...
I didn't say that. Sure that was my voice, but the words didn't come from my mouth.
Come to think of it, I didn't say anything earlier. I didn't notice it because it also had my voice and was saying exactly what I was thinking. I just thought I unconsciously said it and moved on.
Something here is mimicking my voice.
"What's the point of anything anymore? Everything I do is going to be useless at the end."
I carefully look around me, but all I see is the fog.
"After all, I'm just a pawn between two beings beyond my understanding. I'm just a tool to used and thrown away when a better version is out."
There you are. Maybe the fog got lighter, but I could see a figure approaching to me off in the distance. The figure was rather slim, they were slowly walking with their hands in their pocket. They have a rather dark appearance. When the figure was close enough to see them properly, I raised my eyebrow in confusion.
The guy was wearing a dark blue hoodie that covers his face, he also had black pants. Under normal circumstances, I would assume that it was a human being.
However, they seems to be darkened, like a shadow was permanently covering them. I could see some sort of smoke emerging from them. What really got my attention is the mask the guy was wearing. It looked like a skull mask and I could see the his glowing yellow eyes emanating from the eye sockets.
"Why am I in this never-ending nightmare? Why I must I forever repeat time? Why must I sacrifice myself? Why must I die for a bunch of people that want to kill themselves?" Is he mocking me? Why is he using my voice?
"I knowingly gave my life in order to save my friends." I shot back.
"Why do I have to do it?" He asked.
Strangely, It didn't came from me or being in front of me.
"Behind you." He spoke, motioning his head in that direction.
I turn to see another shadow-like being emerging from the fog. The only difference that he seemed to be more slumped over than the first.
"Why do I have to give suffer through this? Why can't someone else do it?" The second shadow said. "Why not Mitsuru? She wanted to atone for her family's sins, let her do it.
Why not Hamuko? She's like me after all. Let her do it, that is what she is designed for."
"Don't talk about them like that." I turn to face the second person.
Both of my fists are clenched, but I'm trying to restrain myself. They must be trying to rile me up, using my voice and talking about my friends like that.
"That's right." I once again turn to see another figure approaching.
"After all." He said, shrugging his shoulders "I'm more important than SEES. All They're good for is meat shields."
I extend my palm towards the shadow that said that.
Enough is enough. No one says that about my friends. Not even my voice.
Before I could do anything however, all three of them disappeared by dissolving into the fog.
"What's wrong?" A familiar voice sneered.
Oh no…
I turn in the direction where the voice came form. Even if his hood is covering his face. I know who he is. His red hoodie gave it away.
"Wrath." I said his name.
"Don't tell me you're afraid of yourself?" he continued, walking towards me.
"Tch." As if I'm afraid of a bunch of people copying my voice.
I directed my hand towards him and tried to cast something, anything. No matter how hard I try, I can't even produce anything.
Wrath suddenly started sprinting.
I flinched at the sudden speed but I prepared myself anyways. Because he wasn't using his sword, it was easy to dodge his attack. Taking advantage if the opening, I threw my fist at him. My punch didn't hit as Wrath's body also disappeared into the fog.
"It's funny." His voice says, coming from the fog. It's coming from everywhere, so I can't tell where it's coming from.
"All this power." He continued. "Yet you don't use it. What's wrong? Think you're too good to use it? Or is there something more?"
I slowly move around, careful for anything that might jump out to me.
"Are you afraid of your own power? No, you're afraid of what you are going to deal with it?"
"Is this how you operate?" I called out to him. "Saying lies, hoping that one of them would catch me off guard?"
"What's considered a lie? Things that disagree with facts or things that you don't want to admit?"
"What?"
"After all…"
Realizing his voice was suddenly right behind me, I quickly spun around to swing at him. My fist managed to make contact with him, knocking him back on the ground and out of my sight.
"No matter how hard you try to run. You can't run from yourself forever."
I moved in the direction where he was, only to find nothing.
Damn it. I was sure I knocked him on to the ground. Did recover faster than I expected or did he dissipate into the fog like before?
!
Sensing danger, I turn and raised my hand to block an attack. The dark-grey fist belongs to the shadow from earlier. The shadow soon kicked me on to the ground. I try to get up but a foot was planted firmly on my chest, pinning me down.
"Come now." He said, still using my voice. "There's no need to get violent."
"Says the guy who throw the first punch." I glared at him.
"After all." The shadow continued. "We have been suffering for too long and suddenly, the answers we been wanting forever just now appear? Seems too convenient, don't you think?"
What is he talking about?
The shadow raised his foot to slam down on my chest.
"Gah!" I gasp in pain.
Taking advantage of the opening, the shadow grabs me by the neck and lifts my off the ground. No matter how hard I try, his grip is too strong to break free. I glared at the yellowish, glowing eyes that look back in amusement.
"Then again." He says. "With all the crap I've been out though, it's makes me wonder why I didn't end my life a long time ago."
How does he know about that? I didn't even know about that until Philemon reminded me.
"And let Nyarlathotep win?" I retorted.
"Perhaps, but we didn't learn about his role until recently. What about before? There was no point to such suffering. Why must I subjugate myself to dying repeatedly? Why do I even bother trying to change anything if nothing's going to change. What's the point of getting in a relationship of the other person doesn't remember the things we been through?
Because I'm just Philemon's tool between a game with him and Nyarlathotep. Seems too convenient that he would jump in suddenly when you no longer want to live."
"Are you trying to turn Philemon against me?" Is that his plan?
"I'm not turning anybody." He sneered. "We had those thoughts since the information seems too convenient.
Kind of makes you wonder if he's been lying to you the whole time, doesn't it? He's says that you been repeating time for 250 years, what if it's been longer? He says that you willingly removed your own memory of the altered past but what if that wasn't the case?"
...
"Come to think of it, how can I trust Nyx as well? She's been our enemy until now."
"Because we are in an alliance to get what we want." I try to remove the hand that is holding me.
"Really?" He cackled. "If we can trust them, why are we in this situation? Why does it have to be me? There are other worthless people that no one would miss if they were the seal. All I have to do is find some random guy and use his soul for the seal, we would be free to live our life Hell, the more people, the stronger it can get."
"I refuse to get an innocent involved in this." How dare he suggest such a thing. "They don't deserve such fate."
"That's right." The being says, condescendingly "I have to do it because they would just mess it up. Only we can do it properly. Those, mouth-breathing, hypocritical, monstrous killers wouldn't not last even a day as the great seal."
"...While I admit humanity is not the most kindest species ever, it's their potential that makes them special." I argued." Sure, we may have done lot's of terrible things before. However, we have done many good things as well."
"Right, right." He waves dismissively. "The good of humanity and all that crap. I suppose that we're going to blame Nyarlathotep? Bit convenient we didn't know about him until Philemon told us that."
"I trust him." I said, narrowing my eyes.
"Simply because he hasn't steered us wrong yet? How do we know that he's telling us the truth? In fact, we should I trust Nyx?"
"Because we both agreed to work together after realizing it isn't each other's fault."
"That's right. It's because of humanity's wish for death, Nyx is required to end all life on earth."
"Humanity is not the problem."
"Even though they caused you to give your life to ensure they live on from their stupid mistakes?"
"…Humanity is not perfect. After all, we all made mistakes before and others have taken advantage of it."
"So you're saying that Nyarlathotep is at fault then?" He asked.
"Yes." It has to be.
"Again, I must say that it sure is convenient that we have such a black and white situation to blame.
We only knew about Nyarlathotep because of Philemon. How do we know it isn't the other way around? How do we know that Sins of Humanity isn't like the SEES, we aren't the Strega this cosmic game?"
…
"No matter how you rationalize it." The first shadow tilts my head towards him again. "You will always be stuck in the circle of blame."
"That's because you are always shifting the blame no matter what." I said.
"Only because you refused to admit the real cause of the problem: You."
…
"Fragment or not, the power of the universe is one of the strongest ability you have yet, you don't use it to its full potential.
You claim that lack of power because the power of the universe is fragmented, but we all know that's a lie.
The truth is that you're afraid. Afraid of your power, afraid of the consequences of your power, afraid of what you'll do with it."
"If that's true, then why do I have a limit when I unlock my powers?" I try to glare at him.
"Remember what Philemon said?" He asked, pointing at his head. "Your power is in the mind. Because our mind isn't completely healed, you can't withstand it for long. However, Philemon didn't say that that was the only limitation.
Of course, you yourself is preventing the true extent of your powers because you're afraid. You failed once and it caused major damage, and you're afraid that it will happen again. Remember Shinji?
Remember long ago, Shinji's Persona went berserk and Ken's mother was a victim. Ken swore vengeance and sought to kill the one responsible. Years later, the victim confronts the killer and the killer dies after a series of events.
It's all sad and all. However when time had been reset for the first time, you with the knowledge tries to prevent it. A shame that it failed because no matter what you do someone would die.
You try to save Shinji, Ken dies. You try to save them both, Akihiko dies. You try to save all three, Mitsuru dies. You try to confront the two before Takaya arrives? The rest of SEES dies because you left them to deal the Arcana shadows by themselves."
You don't have to remind me." I turn my head away from him.
"Apparently you do!" He uses his other hand to twist my head to face him. "The longer you turn away from the truth, the longer you'll never unlock the truth of this situation."
"Stop it…" I don't want to hear it anymore.
"That's not the worst part." He continued. "Then you get the bright idea to finish off the Shadow's in one hit and bring SEES to the two early?"
"Please…"
"You brought them to the corpses of their two allies..."
"Enough!"
I try to twist my body to kick the shadow. Surprisingly, it worked as I managed to hit him on the head and he was forced to let me go.
I ran up to him punched him in the face, he recoiled and tried to retaliate. A sword appeared in his hand. I twisted my body to avoid the blade and leaped back to give me space. The shadow took no time and sprinted towards me.
Just as the shadow swings its weapon, I stopped it in its track by grabbing the arm, just stopping the blade from touching my face. That didn't stop the shadow, however as it took his other arm to swing at me.
I took the attack head on and kicked him in the leg. The leg brought him down and I delivered an uppercut. The shadow tried to jump back when he recovered but I shoulder chucked him, causing the sword to be dropped. I would have tried to pick it up, but it disappeared the moment it touched the ground.
"What the hell do you know!?" I yelled, hitting his shoulder. "You have no idea what I been through, what I witnessed, what I felt!"
I continue to beat on the shadow, he tried to defend himself but I attack hard enough to hear a large crack.
Heh, looks like I broke his left arm.
"Sure, I thought Philemon's information was a bit convenient. I'd be lying if I said I completely trust him, but I believe that he wants what is best for humanity!"
The shadow attempts to attack back, I grab the fist in my palm and twist it out of the way as far as I can. I must give it credit because not once did he scream.
"Nyx once thought I was the cause for this and I thought the same to her. Instead of letting our emotions getting in the way of the truth, we confronted each other, letting out feelings out and allowing us to know the truth and team up!"
I pulled the arm closer to me and left go of the when I headbutted the shadow. He's not even defending himself anymore. The shadow flew backwards and crashed into the ground.
I breathe heavily as I slammed my foot on to the shadow and pinned him to the ground. All my anger cooled down as I stared at the glowing eyes, laying ground. I have to note that there wasn't any negative emotions coming from the shadow, like he was just waiting.
"I admit. I'm afraid of my powers, the consequences and my past failure. I failed to save Shinji and somehow made it worse than I could imagine. I was afraid that I would do something similar or even worse, which is why I try to not use my powers to my current full extent. I even did what I can to not remind me of it at all.
What can I do however? I can't save Shinji without the cost of another life. Time really wants him to die and no matter what I try, fate demands his death and is willing to take another if he survives. Worst yet, I'm powerless to stop it."
That's not include my own problems with this time loop.
The shadow fades into the ground, leaving me alone in the fog. In a single blink, I found myself in the roof of Tartarus with the Full moon close by. Looking ahead of me, I see that the shadow standard there no worse than before. That explains why he wasn't that concerned with defending himself, he could escape at anytime.
"Of course, there is one way you could save him without sacrificing someone else. You can free yourself from this nightmare to be truly free." He said. "You're only too afraid to do it."
…
"You can't hold back anymore. You have to stain your hands. After all this time, you must realized that playing safe will not produce any more results."
Stain my hand...
"How long had it been?" The shadow continued talking. "If Nyx didn't confront you, would you be where you are right now? Or would you continue doing the same thing you did last cycle?"
...
"You can't play nice anymore. You have to be willing to do what you can to achieve freedom."
You asking me to become a monster then.
"How can becoming a monster help me to that?" Why would I even consider doing that in the first place?
"Not a monster." He shakes his head. "You shall become something more. Something with more power, nothing like petty morality holding you back with, you can destroy anyone that stands in your path-!"
I punch him really hard in the mask, so hard that I could see the mask cracking.
"What you're suggesting is no different than asking me to become a demon." I glared at him.
The shadow removed his hood, revealing his familiar blue hair.
"You don't have to become a demon. I'm saying to block your humanity and become more willing to obtain more power. Enough power to change the laws of fate in your way, enough to defeat Nyarlathotep and become free from the time loop. Obtain enough power to become a god."
A god?
"What makes you think I would do such a thing? What makes you think I can even achieve such a thing?" I ask.
I take a step back in shock at such an option.
"I know you can, and I know your willingness to choose this because…" The mask finally shatters, revealing that he as my face. "Because I am you…"
*Boom*
I found myself opening my eyes and looking at a black sky. Out if my peripheral vision, I see what seems to be a waterfall of blood.
Ah. Minato, you're awake. Orpheus said.
What happened?
Well, Typhon appeared and destroyed you. Thanatos answered. When he attacked you, the ground gave way and you fell all the way down here.
I see. Kind of hard to believe that I am still alive.
That's the thing. Messiah says. You didn't.
I didn't?
I turn my head to the right. Covering most of my vision was a sea of blood. What stood out though is my outstretched hand that is dangling just over the bloody ocean. In the palm of my hand was a strange good stone of some sort. Looks like a Plume of dusk.
Yeah, that would make sense. Noticing my dead body, the dusk appeared the brought me back to life at the cost of the energy within the stone.
I dropped the used dusk into the sea.
Man, I was pretty lucky to landed here on this platform instead of drowning in the blood.
I sat up and examine the area. Noticing something on my left, I see that the platform I'm on is way larger than I thought. The platform is littered with broken structures of a building of sorts. Looks like the temple fell with me.
There seems to be an object a bit more far in the center. Looking back at the sea and where I was laying, I have to wonder if I was truly lucky that I still landed on the platform or unlucky since there was a lot of space and I fell on the edge of the massive platform.
I moved away from the sea before I stood up. Moving towards the object, I saw something shining in a pile of rubble. Taking a small detour, I dig around the rubble and pulled out a Traesto gem.
That's useful, but since I don't sense any danger and I have no idea what this place is, I might as well take the time to explore. The thing I originally planned to investigate turns out to be a giant door. The door is massively large and ancient looking. There seems to be multiple green chains binding the door shut as well.
Taking a closer look at the chains, I found that the chains are slightly moving, glowing and pulsating. Seems less like an imamate object and more like a fleshy tissue of some sort.
I reach out to touch the "chain".
"Ah!"
I quickly pulled away my hand and wave my hand to remove the substance that caught on to my hand. My finger was burned deep enough to see the muscles underneath my skin.
Acid, huh? Nothing that dia won't fix.
*Boom*
As, the skin on my finger regrows, I look up the see some large pieces of rubble falling towards me. Looks like I won't be able to move away in time.
"Tch."
Raising my hand towards the falling rocks, I casted Garudyne and basted all the rocks into tiny pieces and scattering far from me.
Some of the pebbles that made contact with the "chains" dissolved. Good thing I wasn't planning to use a weapon to try to cut the chain.
Still, what is with those rumbles?
My eyes widen at the realization. Nyx is probably fighting with Typhon! Damn it! I completely forgot about that.
"Thanatos!" I called out, summoning him with the card.
The card I throw morph into a coffin, before it exploded and the god of death was in its place.
I jumped onto one of his arms as he shot up with such speed that the massive sea of blood below was quickly covered in blackness.
*Boom*
Taking a look at my hand, I clenched it to test my strength and to see how much energy I recovered. Not enough. If I'm going to be assisting Nyx against Typhon, I'm going to need much more power.
"Obtain enough power to become a god..."
…
Minato, are you alright? Orpheus asked in concern.
…I'm fine. It's just-.
You're worried about what you'd dreamed, right? Messiah answered for me
How did you- never mind.
That's right. Tell me, when did I started having these thoughts?
A long time already. It became a lot more serious when you discovered the truth.
…
I sigh.
So it's true then. Be honest with me, should I be more willing to obtain a lot more power? Even at the cost of my humanity?
It might be your best option if you want to end this as soon as possible. Messiah answered surprisingly.
Messiah! Orpheus said in shock. What's with you? Aren't you supposed to be-.
The ultimate good? He answered. Because I died to ensure mankind's sins are redeemed right? Trust me, I don't like this choice anymore than you do but I understand why sometimes options like those are important thanks to my father.
Father? Orpheus asked.
Right. In Christian mythology, God once flooded the Earth for forty days to cleanse the planet of sin. Or that he caused the ten deadly plagues in Egypt because the Pharaoh at the time didn't free the Israelites slaves.
I'm not much a religious person, I sure he did those things because he wanted what's best for humanity. Because of his methods, I wouldn't be surprised if someone would think he's a jerk.
To put it kindly. Messiah bitterly replied.
Kindly?/Kindly? Orpheus and I raised our eyebrows.
That's not important right now. Messiah shakes his head. What's important is that sometimes, the best option is not the one you would like consider. Sometimes, you must go against your morals to ensure what you want comes true. After all Minato, we didn't want to give our lives, but we did it anyways to ensure everybody else can live.
Isn't that similar to how some criminals would think? Orpheus asked.
I have no doubt that a lot of them would use this methodology to justify their actions. What's important however, is how would you do it.
Are you willing to do it? How far are you willing to go? Are you willing to take a life to ensure the safety of others? Those are the questions you must ask yourself.
The questions I must ask myself.
I stare at my fist.
Should I do it? I know I want more power, but how far I'm a willing to go? Philemon told me that I once rejected something similar because I had morals holding me back. What if he were to ask me now? Would I reject it like last time? Would've I accept? Messiah says that only I can answer but even I don't know the answer.
I guess part of me is afraid of becoming like Strega or even like the Sins of Humanity. They truly believe that they're doing the right things, but who they serve and their methods would suggest otherwise. Would I'd be like that to someone else if they were to see me?
The reach into my pocket and pulled out the Alice card.
Are you sure that's a good idea? Messiah asks. If Thanatos is defeated before you unsummon her-.
I know, I might have another mental breakdown. Considering that Nyx would be too proud to retreat, I'm going to need a lot power I can muster to fight off Typhon while we find a way to retreat.
I crushed the card in my hand, giving me a boost in power.
Huh? Alice said, all groggy like she just woke up. What happened? Minato onii-chan! Are you alright!?
I see…
I'm fine Alice.
But you were in lots of pain! She argued.
That was long ago. Besides, the guys told me that you saved me.
Well. She turns away, blushing a bit. I couldn't have you die for me yet.
Heh, she's kind of like a little sister.
I glad. Anyways, since I'm going to be fighting a huge monster, I'm going to be depending in your power. Is that alright?
You can count on me, onii-chan!
By the way, Minato. Messiah said. This shouldn't need to be mentioned. However no matter what you do, I will always support you.
As do I. Orpheus. says, nodding.
Mine too! Hee Ho. Jack agreed.
I don't know what's going on, but I'll always have your back, onii-chan!" Alice cheered.
Thanks guys.
I held on tight of Thanatos as I look up on to the black sky...
AN: Do you know the best part of creating multiple chapters instead of creating one and uploading before doing it again? It's that if I'm ever too lazy to continue writing the current one, I still have a previous one to upload so you guys won't be kepted in the dark. (Assuming that I don't lose motivation for more than a month. Or the fact that I might forget to proofread this chapter or already did proofread it and forgot about it.)
Well, I did say that Minato's backstory is a lot more complicated than initially shown before. His revelations and past was going to be revealed a bit later on, but I figured it's best to show it now so you guys can how his choices are going to change a bit. Don't worry, I don't plan to make him completely out of character. Just a bit pragmatic. Especially when dealing with cultists that plan on destroying all of humanity to please an Outer God.
After all, I don't think anyone can give up their morals so easily.