Note: I've never done drama before. It's hard! Forgive me the delay. Thank you to FalloutGamerGirl for the inspiration. (I removed this temporarily to address a slight problem, but I was in error. Sorry.) minor edit

Sunrise in the Commonwealth was always an interesting experience. The muted colors flooding the sky, the cool air being warmed up around oneself as the light hit the irradiated earth―the smell, which she was still getting used to even after months of being in the Commonwealth. Ruby hadn't really considered the beauty of a sunrise, before. It...

Well, it seemed unimportant. Especially when compared to starting a family, buying a house, or excelling in her career. Even waiting for Nate to come back. The sun would always rise. Nate... might not have come back.

And that damned Vault, what happened with Shaun―it all seemed silly to contemplate a sunrise, up on an overpass in the wastes.

She'd jerked out of a sound sleep when the moon was well over the middle of the sky, long before the sun managed to pull itself over the tattered horizon. The nightmare she'd been having felt so real―she groaned, lowly, and covered her eyes.

She lifted her Pip-Boy from beside the mattress. 4:30 A.M. and wide awake. She sighed and dropped her arm, staring out at the edge of the world from the height of the overpass. Stifled a yawn, wishing she had a blanket. Wasn't much she could do about that one, but... it would have been nice, to curl up and try to go back to sleep.

She stared up at the sky, thinking. Never had slept much, even before Shaun was born. It was old hat for her to be awake at odd hours of the night, when an idea seized her and her mind wouldn't quit torturing her. Most of the time that'd applied to court cases―though, one failed instance of crochet came to mind. At the time she'd thanked God Nate had never known about her attempt to make a baby blanket. Should have remembered those stupid socks...

But Nate would have encouraged her, no matter how bad the end product turned out. He would've said something sappy and heartwarming and she would've melted like an ice cube in the summer sun. It was one of the reasons she'd loved him.

From behind her on the mattress, MacCready threw an arm over her side and pulled her into him. She didn't mind that―he was still asleep, and she didn't really want to get up from the mattress―but she adjusted his hand, moving it to her stomach rather than the northerly direction it had been travelling.

She snorted to herself. Even sleeping, he was trying to push limits. She didn't know whether to be amused or annoyed. Same as always, though. Same as Nate, too.

She squeezed his hand, feeling her chest wrench in pain. MacCready might not be... strong enough. Not strong enough to be her backbone, like Nate had. He'd said he had her back, no matter what, but...

He seemed so easily discouraged. With everything that had gone on in his own past, his hinting at his depression after losing Lucy, his reluctance to tell her about Duncan... His own admittance that he didn't like to be alone. She wondered if he'd latched onto her like he had because she was an easy target.

It was hard to tell why he wanted to stick around, as often as he asked if he should leave. Maybe that was him trying to make sure she'd not chase him off―she hadn't been the best at cues―but―

Really, she didn't want him to leave. It was nice, feeling normal again. Feeling like―like she had when Nate proposed, the soaring heart rate and nerves that were always on edge. Nice being able to just hold him and―nice to have someone who wanted to hold her back, and―

God, she'd been so rude to him. Pushed and pulled, treated him badly. Should have told him no, way back when... She didn't know why he stayed. She'd probably never know, if things kept up the way they were.

Ruby groaned, and closed her eyes. Same as Nate, again. She'd pushed him around, when they were dating, and he'd just stood there with a baffling smile and let her be mean. He'd never backed down from the challenge, but...

MacCready did the same. Stood up to the challenge, no matter how bad he felt behind his facade. The only real difference was that MacCready gave up quicker. That made her feel worse about putting him through it...

Didn't want to change anything. He was who he was. She just couldn't make sense of it, as it was.

Their age difference didn't help that, either. Ruby made a face. MacCready was almost ten years younger than her. It made her feel―awkward, really, because she was so much more mature than he was. She'd viewed him with an air of childishness, one she didn't think was deserved, but...

With what had happened the previous night―thank God the sun wasn't up, yet. She must've turned a shade of red that didn't exist, yet. If that was his idea of a day off―he'd made it adequately clear―and it had been enjoyable, but she still―

She still felt a little ashamed. Her face was slowly turning purple with all the breathing she wasn't doing. Ruby let out the held breath in a rush, and squeezed his hand again. Age didn't matter, right?

She knew there wouldn't be another day off until the Institute was dealt with. Her heart sank, thinking about that. This whole time, from the moment she'd left the Vault to her getting into the Institute, to... to declaring war on a man whom she might have raised―between her scrambling for allies around the Commonwealth, and getting used to the world―

She'd been lost to the grief. And MacCready had been her backbone. All his character quirks aside, he'd never expressed doubt in her, never tried to criticize her or fight with her. He didn't care who she'd sided with, to a point.

Of course he didn't like the Brotherhood, but she knew why. They'd talked about it, and she was confused at his encouraging her to join, but... well, it made sense, in a way. If she'd found Shaun through the Brotherhood―and MacCready understood how much it meant to her, even back then―

Unlike Danse and his lofty goals, MacCready only wanted her to be herself. Danse pushed his own expectations. Pushed a limit of what he thought she was capable of, rather than what she actually intended to do with herself. That push hadn't gone unanswered, but...

She wished she could have been able to trust the Brotherhood more than she had. After Maxson acted as he had, she couldn't bring herself to go back there. Any place that considered Danse their enemy was not a place for her to go. Not when he'd proven his value to them, tenfold, and intolerance was the answer.

Danse wouldn't understand. She expected that. Hadn't thought about what would happen in the end. It was all politics. Politics she hated to follow.

Even Hancock was singing from a political soapbox. Though they'd fought constantly, she knew he wanted the best for the people around him. His views of this world were more in-depth than hers could be, with her limited knowledge of the Commonwealth. All she'd brought to the table was hope and an ideal that needed to be held to, but he... he had experience with being the monster and the savior.

Maybe she owed him more than a heartfelt apology. She sighed to herself. Needed to work things out with him, still. John had made it pretty obvious that he was annoyed with her. She didn't want to address his apparent attraction to her. Not if they were going to fight like cats and dogs, and not if―she had no idea how to deal with that. How did one continue on, knowing that someone wanted more, but one couldn't give more?

She didn't have anything to base on that. No one but Nate had given her the time of day, before. Now, she had three men who might be―

"Ruby," MacCready whispered, from behind her. Startled her into jumping a little. "Go back to sleep."

"I can't," she said, covering herself with a quick reply. "Too much to think about, I guess."

He shifted position, onto his back, and worked an arm around her shoulders. Pulled her over to face him and laid one hand under his head. She'd noticed before that he needed a haircut, badly. The mess that was his hair always seemed to be molded to fit his hat, no matter the length.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked, staring up at the underside of the road.

"I guess," she replied, curling up against him. It was cold out, even with him lying beside her. She plucked at a loose thread in his coat, absently staring at the fabric.

"Is it about Nate?" he asked her, looking down at her through the corner of his eyes.

She didn't meet his gaze. "No," she murmured. "Just... trying to figure some things out."

"Hmm." He swallowed audibly, moving his eyes back to the ruined road. She closed her eyes and laid her hand flat on his chest. "Is it the tin can?" he asked, after a moment of quiet.

"No." She rubbed his chest in a circle. She was aware of how much antagonism had gone on between MacCready and Danse. Maybe something had happened more recently that made it worse; MacCready seemed to be acting a lot more openly about his opinion. She'd have to get Danse in a verbal headlock, if that were the case―

Knowing him, it would only be a reaffirmation of his expectations. She opened her eyes and pursed her mouth, making a face.

"The Institute then, or something?" MacCready's arm around her shoulders squeezed her gently, thin fingers digging into her.

Ruby breathed out and shook her head. "It's you, you ignoramus," she muttered. "You and your... everything." MacCready's hand on her shoulder tightened. "I'm not mad at you," she added, quickly, looking up at him from her position on his shoulder. "Just..."

"Why me, then?" He looked down at her. "Is something... the matter?"

"No." She sighed. "I just... I overthink everything. It's one of those things that makes me, me. You don't have to worry."

"Dunno what you're so worried about, then," he said, his voice growing lighter. "If you've got me on your mind, it must be a good thing." He laughed under his breath, but there was a tone of nervousness to the words.

"Oh, what―" she sputtered, pushing herself up with her elbow, looking down at him. "C'mon, MacCready," she groaned, smacking his chest lightly. "You won. Knock it off."

MacCready grinned at her and moved his hand to cup her cheek. "Better than thinking about other things," he said, and his grin fell into a decidedly uncertain smile.

Ruby sighed, and held his cheek. "No matter what," she said, looking at him with a stern face, "I will always love you, you know that."

MacCready gave her a "look" and she felt her stomach churning. He tugged at her ear after a moment of staring at her. "You're... you're really hard to read," he said, sadly.

"Well, I'm telling you right now," she grumbled, pinching his face. "I won't let go. We both need this and―" she faded out after a moment of thinking. "And... I'm sorry. I'm an open book. Just... ask."

MacCready smiled, and pulled her into him for another kiss, and Ruby sighed as her chest brushed against his, knowing what it meant―

"Danse!" the cry sounded, over the busyness of the settlement. Someone had organized a celebration―probably the ghoul, knowing his hedonistic ways―certainly, alcohol had been flowing in abundance and spirits were high.

Ruiz had come up beside him, her eyes on him and not the fireworks that were going off in the distance. "Yes?" he asked, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

All he could see, outlined by the maddening display in the heavens, was her dark face. Eyebrows up and mouth tugging down into a frown―

"Come with me!" she yelled, cupping her mouth over the loud fireworks, exploding among the cheers rising up from the Hills. She motioned at him to follow her into a building―but―

He frowned. She was telling him to follow her into the house that had been hers, prior to the War. Danse followed, regardless of what objections he might have. He owed Ruiz too much to ignore her, and if she'd gotten over that specific part of her past...

Who was he to ignore her? He'd been pushing for this, since her admission of being in love with the ignorant ex-Gunner.

"Knight," he said, raising his voice over the clamor outside of the building. "What do you need?"

"It's Paladin, actually," she said, her voice lowered in volume but still audible. "Danse, look, I need to talk to you―"

He didn't hear her, for a moment. Before... well, before he'd learned his own nature, he'd known she was destined for authority. He was momentarily upset that she had been promoted and hadn't informed him―that she'd ignored that he was concerned about the Brotherhood, no matter what they―

He remembered that he'd never have a part in that sort of thing, ever again. Another sharp stab to his chest, that. Danse lifted a hand to his chest piece and grimaced. No matter what, he was not Brotherhood. It was an awful feeling.

"Are you listening, Danse?" she was asking.

"Forgive me, Ruiz, it's a bit difficult to hear you," he answered, taking the easy way out.

She sighed, and moved closer to him, grabbing the corner of his armor. "There's been a lot of weird stuff going on," she said, putting her mouth near his ear.

He was ashamed to admit that he'd imagined that sort of thing, before. A slight flush rose to his cheeks, previously thought scenarios brought to mind. Maybe... maybe he was riding the high of the settlement, the excitement of fireworks and something to be excited about―this Fourth of July that Hancock had been selling wholesale to anyone who would listen―

"Danse―" Ruiz chuckled in his ear. "Are you blushing?"

"There's much excitement," he answered, lamely, his body awkwardly bent over hers. "The fireworks, this... sentiment, it's... infectious."

Ruby laughed and he enjoyed the sound. She was happy. It was all he could ask for, given everything. He could hear the explosions outside of the building, still. She must have believed his bluff―

"Listen, I wanted to ask you if you could..." she paused, and he felt a flush of warmth come over her own cheeks. "If you could leave MacCready alone, for a while?"

Danse straightened up immediately, ignoring that she had a hand on his armor. She protested briefly, letting go as soon as she realized he wasn't going to give to her. "I'm not sure what you mean, Ruiz," he said, standing up stiffly inside the old house.

"You know exactly what I mean," she replied, narrowing her eyes at him. "Or else you wouldn't react like that." She put her hands on her hips and sighed. "I know you two don't get along―"

"You cannot expect me to let him behave in the same manner―"

"Danse!" she groaned, throwing her hands up. "You can't change who he is!"

He listened to the thunderous roars outside of the building for a moment, turning an eye to the ceiling. He'd... hoped, that Ruiz would not catch onto the attempt, but he'd been so angered by the young man. Couldn't help but be upset. His goal had been―

He didn't know anymore. The feelings he'd had for Ruiz were still there. He'd not been able to quench the emotion that brewed in his chest, even though he'd tried. Talking to MacCready like he had―

It'd been a stalling tactic. The man's refusal to give up had been reassuring, really. He'd disappeared with Ruiz, into the wastes, for a few days. Meant his tactic had worked, putting the younger man on the run. And... if all it took was one moment of her getting in his face, for him to relive the feelings that made him so uncomfortable...

Perhaps her being away from him was not so unwelcome.

"I know," he answered, trying not to lose face. "I did tell you that I expected him to live up to my standards, though."

"Your standards are impossible, Danse," Ruiz half-shouted over the fireworks, rolling her eyes. She flicked a hair out of her face. "Listen... I know you and me, we're able to keep ourselves together, yes? Within reason?"

Danse watched her with a steady eye, then nodded. "Yes, Ruiz," he answered.

"Well, you never gave up on me when I needed it," she said, "and I'm not gonna give up on him when he needs it."

He paused. For a moment, the world seemed slowed. He...

He'd never contemplated that. That MacCready might need the psychological encouragement. Danse made a face to himself, realizing―MacCready had lost a spouse, just as Ruiz had. Naturally the two of them would gravitate toward one another. It wasn't his say whether or not they deserved each other's company. His actions toward the ex-Gunner had been caught out and were now being questioned by―

By a woman who would always be one step better than him, even with his synth programming and circuitry. He sighed out a chuckle. "I..." he started. "I'm sorry, Ruiz―"

"Don't you start martyring yourself again," she chastised, staring at him angrily. "I know why you and him don't get along. Don't got a problem with that. Just―for the love of God, Danse, at least tell me when you got a problem with him!"

"You have my word, Ruiz," he said, staring at her with unabashed admiration.

"Do I?" she snapped, staring at him, angrily.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, smiling in spite of himself.

"Don't you start that shit, too, Christ," she muttered, and flailed an arm at him. "Make me feel old. God!"

Danse kept the smile, regarding her. She'd earned that. She'd earned his admiration, she'd earned everything he had to give her. If others couldn't see that―despite her admonition that she be told when there was a problem―then he would most certainly give respect where it was due.

"As you wish, Paladin Ruiz," he said, nodding to her.

"Don't even start," she muttered, shaking her head. He made a questioning noise. Ruiz flapped a hand at him, dismissively.

"Ruiz," he said authoritatively, wondering if she'd simply shrugged off the Brotherhood entirely. It certainly appeared so.

"You said―" she snapped, then her voice softened. "Danse... I know you think the Brotherhood is the only solution." He couldn't argue. His head jerked up and down, regardless of what he was and what he had been revealed to be. That much, he'd come to terms with. No matter who―or what―he actually was, he would always be so.

"I..." she sighed, and rubbed her face. "I don't know if I was ever cut out for the Brotherhood."

This fireworks had died down outside, and her voice was painful to hear. Everything about how she said it, hurt him on a base level. He knew he shouldn't be so sensitive, but―if he was accepting of himself and she was, also, her words now were meant to deliberately wound.

He didn't know what to say. He stared at Ruiz, his mouth opening and closing in confusion.

"Danse," she said, sorrowfully. "I know you mean well. I'll never forget all you've done for me."

God, his―his chest wrenched. Would she finally tell him to leave? She seemed so set on him staying, but―she'd not had anyone else to back her up, then. Now he wondered if her trip out into the wastes with the idiot had changed her mind about him―

That seemed ridiculous, but how was he to know? His position in this group had always been nebulous. None of the others occupied the same space he had, none had been guaranteed that position―excepting maybe MacCready―

He made a frustrated noise, closing his eyes to her. "Ruiz," he said, expressing his confusion and anger.

"For the love of God, Danse," she said, and her hand touched his face. "I said you were my brother. You'd dismiss that so easily?"

He sighed, painfully. "I―"

"You're conflicted, I know." She sighed. "Everyone seems to think I'm Park Place and this is a goddamn game of Monopoly."

She'd lost him completely, again. He cracked his eyes and dared a glance at her. Ruiz was smiling, her face a disbelieving mask of happiness. "Danse, I love you," she told him, and his overworked and confused heart skipped a beat at the admission.

"But I can not... divide my heart among everyone that feels they have a stake on it." She pushed her hair up, out of her face. "I'm sorry that... things didn't work out between you and me. I... I do need you to stick around, okay?"

"Ruiz?" he asked, not knowing what else to say.

"I want you here," she said, more seriously, "because you're the only person I trust to watch my ass when we finally get into the Institute."

Danse smiled.

He agreed.

She always had known what to say, after all.