Dear Readers,
Thank you again for all of your lovely views. I hope you all enjoy the latest installment. Get ready for excitement in the next chapter because it is where the movie: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug picks up. All I have written thus far has been to build up to this moment. Hope you enjoy it!
Anariel RR
Dearest Book, Second Eve of Mereth-en-Giliath
My mind is reeling with all that has happened. While I feel pure passion and love within the arms of Prince Legolas, there is something else that irks me. I know now that my Father met his death in a pit and presumably my Mother followed such a path. I hold his sword, Dol-grithor yet in my hand and I can imagine his sturdy hand gripping it as it once did. The sword is too crude to be considered elegant, as most Elven swords are. His sword possesses a carving of a dog's head at the very tip of the pommel but other than that, it has no other decoration. Tengwar is inscribed into the blade, reading something like this: "The foes of my blood beware, for their blood shall slake the thirst of this sword." It is something I shall keep near me for the rest of my life. Upon returning back from the Spider Hunt today, I fell into my bed and I wept. As soon as tears streamed down my face, it appeared that more tears came, almost as if my face was a stone over which a waterfall traversed. I kept imagining my Father perhaps lying dead in that pit, as well as my Mother, who may very well have died there. If it weren't for their heroic actions, I too would have ended up there. I continued in such a way for a good hour or two, unable to push myself up from my bed. My parents were my blood, my family. Now? I feel like I have no one. I have Legolas and he has me, but it isn't as if we are allowed to even remotely be together.
A little while later, I heard a knock on my door. Of course it was Ninimmien who felt the need to harass me until I agreed to come to the Grand Hall for the feast. I did not bother to change out of my usual forest attire. My hair was brushed back and secured in a braid at the crown of my head, eventually spilling down my shoulders. Upon arriving at the Grand Hall, however, I was met with a rather grave Galhanar who was clad in a tunic of deep gray silk, looking every bit the Sindarin lord. He wore his dark hair in the usual style, two strands pulled back and braided with his hair very long to his shoulders. He had always been a tall man but for some reason, he seemed particularly tall this night.
"Tauriel…might I speak with you?" He intoned in a soft voice, reaching out for my hand. I felt the desire to draw it back but smiled stupidly as I allowed him to take it. Ninimmien was hanging over my shoulder as she boldly said, "Oh here comes the true love of Tauriel." I cast a quick glance behind her, shooting her a brief look before returning my gaze to Galhanar.
"Good evening…Ninimmien." Galhanar bowed his head deferentially before turning his gaze back to me. "…alone." I knew immediately that something was off, something was indeed wrong. Spinning about to regard Ninimmien, I sighed but tried not to make a spectacle of it, "Excuse me, Ninimmien. I shall return in a moment." When I turned about to face him once more, Galhanar proffered his arm and there the two of us were, strolling along the Grand Hall. I counted my blessings that Prince Legolas was not yet there. I would gawp at him as would a foolish child if I saw him. I've never been so in love with a person before in my life and yet when he enters the room, I feel it so utterly.
"You are avoiding me, Tauriel." Galhanar's deep baritone voice was soft, gentle. I wanted to roll my eyes, to laugh it off as nothing, and avoid the topic altogether. However, I sensed that doing such a thing would only make the matter worse.
"I've been…very busy…" I declared rather obscurely, not wishing to reveal too much. "With the spider hunts every day…it takes up the majority of my time…" My tone was resolute but not all too convincing.
"Do you remember, melui nín?" Galhanar spoke suddenly, a small smile flickering over his features, a warmth in his tone. "The moment when they announced our betrothal to all? It was the greatest feeling." I wanted so much to free my hand from his hand. Somewhere in the hall, I heard Brethil emit the loudest belch I think I had ever heard. I started chuckling, for we were a posse of crass individuals and that was on a good day. It was a total alien to me, the serious world of nobility and rules, Galhanar's realm. The closeted realm I had glimpsed through moments with majestic King Thranduil and his august son.
"What a teryg." Galhanar hissed, shaking his head slowly. He did not enjoy any show of buffoonery whereas I quite liked it. The two of us could not be any more different. We essentially both are Wood Elves, kin, but we live in different worlds.
"Galhanar…Pedam…" I breathed, leading both of us down a side passage which tapered off to the right. Tumbling down the side of the great beech tree was a waterfall. Up above, the dark sky met us, the cold and crisp autumnal sky with its blinking stars. Some were bright whereas others were dim. I gazed up.
"Man os?" He tilted his head slightly, his dark hair a dark waterfall cascading down his burly shoulders. For a Wood Elf, he is still so well built and muscular. Prince Legolas muscular but not nearly as burly.
"Lasto nin. I cannot marry you, Galhanar." I spoke the words softly, a sadness filling my heart. Sliding off the lovely betrothal band that he gave me, I held it out to him. He turned his back to me for a moment, but I continued.
"My heart is for another…it has always been this way. You are one of the best men to live within Taur-e-Ndaedelos, Galhanar Helegonion. Yet I cannot bring myself to love you. It is through no error of your own, this I can assure you. It grieves me truly to cause you anguish of the heart and if I do so, I apologize most readily. But I cannot betray my heart and moreover, I cannot betray the one who now possesses it." I looked down at this delicate betrothal band with its splendid knot work that he slid on my finger not too long ago. Placing a hand gently upon Galhanar's shoulder, I turned him around to face me. His head was bowed in sadness and I could see a flicker of a tear. He was quick to wipe it away before he could see it.
"Díheno nin…" I reached my thumb up and wiped away a straying tear. "The last thing I want to do is to cause you anguish…but to marry you would have been to deny the longings of my own heart…nay…to lie to my own heart. I love you, Galhanar. Truly, I do. But as a sister loves her brother as a friend loves her friend." Once I spoke those words, knowledge of what I had said finally registered on his face. His head was still bowed in sorrow but he nodded in agreement.
"Tauriel…I was unaware of your sentiment for another. You know it that I would be the last one to stand in the way of your love. While this brings me great sadness, I abjure you from our contract..." His words wanted me to cry for I felt his sadness, every tiny slither of it. He reached out for my hand and placed it upon his heart as he spoke the words, "Know going forth that I shall always count you amongst those I love. You have hurt me here today…but I respect your wishes above all else. Nover, Tauriel. Cuio vê." At that moment, he craned his neck and leaned in, planting a delicate kiss upon my cheek. He did not take the ring but simply removed the one that I gave him, placing that as well in my hand before he stalked off down the hall. Overcome with great emotion, I began to softly cry. It wasn't sorrow that I lost him or even that our connection was over. It was sorrow over the fact that I made him sad. Galhanar has been a great man for all of my life.
I did not return to the Great Hall. I pocketed the rings, unsure exactly of what to do with them. With exactly no clue what to do with myself, I wandered back to my bedchamber. I had thought of walking out into the night but thought the better of it considering my fortune last time. Now, here I sit. I am free of any hold that Galhanar had over me. That is most likely the best marriage opportunity that I will ever have in my life. Love won out in the end. My love for Legolas…
Later…
I started to doze off whilst gazing at a map of Middle Earth, having been dreaming of far off places that I would probably never visit. It seems that I am bound to Taur-e-Ndaedelos. A knock roused me from my slumbers and I sighed exasperatedly, knowing that it was Ninimmien to drive me mad with her mindless chatter.
"Tolo ned…" I mumbled, placing my hand on my brow. I did not even bother to turn about to face her. I could imagine it all so well in my mind: Ninimmien's white silk gown sighing across the wooden floor, her pleasant floral perfume filling the room (for it is rather potent), the rebuking tone in her voice that would set me on edge, and her voice that sometimes wants me to pull my hair out. But it wasn't Ninimmien. It wasn't Galhanar either. It wasn't Laerorn to chide me. It wasn't Brethil to make some asinine joke. It wasn't even Belegorn who likes to puff out his chest and act like he's my superior. No, it was the one who has my heart utterly in his grip.
"Can it be true?" It wasn't Galhanar's brassy baritone voice to irritate my ears. It was Legolas with his gentle voice, as smooth as fine and heady Dorwinion wine. It possesses the same properties as well. He held within his hands his splendid golden wood bow which he then proceeded to drop. From the looks of it, he had been hunting all evening.
"No*…it is true indeed." I smiled genuinely, the brightest smile I had worn in a while now. I drew closer to him and Legolas enfolded me in his sinewy arms, pressing me tightly to him. He gazed down at me with his eyes, the very silvery eyes that could be deadly at times, provoking fear in any who would cross him or enter into Taur-e-Ndaedelos without permission. Desire was etched into every inch of his face and his lips turned upwards into a warm smile. I beamed up at him, my own smile deepening. I was smiling so very much that my face had begun to hurt at that point. We kissed.
"I am yours…." I breathed softly, grinning stupidly now. The euphoria of emotion was so strong, so prevalent that my heart beat so rapidly. All of those moments where Legolas defended me in front of the King's Council, when he came to find me against everyone's protestations, when proved that I was innocent, and when he drew his sword to defend my honor in front of the King. All of the wonderful things that he has done for me. I am so blessed. I am loved by the best of them all. I am loved by the one who loves me more than I love myself.
"And I am yours, Tauriel. Utterly yours." He lowered his head and we kissed once again. The night passed in such a way. We were enfolded in each other's arms and it was nice how not a single person bothered us. We talked about everything…we laughed…we joked. It was sublime…it was heavenly… What I do know is that there is no going back from here.
Sincerely,
Tauriel
Sindarin Translations:
Cuio vê. – Farewell [Literally: Live well]
Díheno nin. – Forgive me.
Dol-Grithor – Head Reaper
Helegonion – Son of Helegon
Lasto nin. – Listen to me.
Man os? – What about?
Melui nín. – My lovely.
Mereth-en-Giliath – Feast of Starlight
No* – Yes [I put an asterisk next to "No" to differentiate between the Sindarin "no" meaning yes and the actual "no" meaning just that.]
Nover. – Good bye.
Pedam. – Let us speak.
Taur-e-Ndaedelos – Greenwood the Great (aka "Mirkwood")
Tengwar – Elvish Writing System
Teryg – Troll
Tolo ned. – Come in.