Alex was sitting at the kitchen table. Q sitting by his side, tapping away on his laptop, every now and then conferring with him. Danny was standing at the stove, preparing their dinner. James chatting in a low voice about his latest mission, making a joke, which had Danny laughing and smiling brightly. James aggressively flirting, Danny playfully leading on and evading. Touching and teasing. Alex was fascinated, observing intently.
Q said something. When Alex didn't react, everyone went still. Three heads were turned towards Alex, who looked pointedly at James' hand, covering Danny's arse, then let his eyes wander towards James' groin, before looking back up at Danny. Danny, who winked encouraging, before turning back to James. Q, who had locked eyes with James, disbelieving, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. James' stance was challenging, turning Danny slowly towards Q and Alex, holding him tightly. Alex made a little, undignified sound. The tension in the kitchen was tangible. All eyes were on Q now.
Q, who apparently had been oblivious to the many small signs and hints, which had become more and more frequent during the past few weeks. Since Alex had managed to overcome his anxieties and had been working full-time for MI6 again. Ever since Danny had accepted his place in Q's flat, their flat. Shared by four men, who each had to work with their own demons, but who relied heavily on each other in doing so.
Now, the only sounds in the kitchen were made by the heavy breathing of all of them. Waiting.
"Fuck, yes," Q said quietly. Closing his laptop, he looked at each of them.
"No condoms," Alex supplied, equally quiet.
Danny swallowed, his pupils blown wide. The front of his trousers were bulging, James' hand stealing lightly over it while his grin widened into something feral.
"Hell, yes," he said with a growl. Then he turned towards Alex. "Shower, now!"
Releasing Danny, who stumbled forward, gripping one of the kitchen chairs to keep his balance. Leaving Q and Danny in the kitchen, Alex pliantly followed James into the bathroom. This felt like a dream, his grip on the top in his pocket almost painful.
James turned towards him, hand outstretched. Hesitating a beat, Alex gave the top over to James, who made it spin for a few moments, before it tumbled and fell.
"Not a dream, Alex," James said reassuringly.
It gave them pause. They stood in front of each other in the spacious bathroom.
"If you want to stop, at any time, just say stop or no," James continued, a warm smile on his face, when Alex looked up at him.
He didn't know how to respond, what to do next. He wanted this, had wanted it for a long time now. Unable to put it into words, knowing instinctively that Danny would be okay with it. Danny had probably known long before him. Still, Alex had no idea how to continue from here.
James took his silence as consent and slowly started to undress Alex. His movements were slow, telegraphing his intent, ensuring Alex time to adjust, time to stop him. Some of his tension disappeared, watching James' eyes roam over his naked body. Alex' breath hitched, when James began unbuttoning his own shirt, slowly revealing a well toned chest. He wanted to touch, carefree like Danny. Instead he just stood watching. James made a show of it, letting the clothes slipped from his shoulders, the trousers pooling around his feet. Alex wetted his lips, his breathing fast and shallow. Scars and muscles, two pink nipples, there for the taking, and all Alex could do was stare.
James took pity in him and stepped forward, closing the gap between them. His kiss was slow and sweet, like Danny's when he wanted Alex to relax, to let go. Alex closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss, let James take the lead and hold him close. Opening his mouth, James plunged in, exploring with his tongue, taking control, keeping Alex safe.
They continued to explore each other, James leading and Alex pliantly following. In the shower, James cleaned Alex from head to toe, inside out. Preparing him for what was to come. Sure hands and knowing fingers trailed down his spine, found their place between his buttocks. Breathing laboured and spreading his legs wide, Alex let himself go. His breathing evened out, his body relaxed, giving way to James' ministrations. By the time James was finished and turned to prepare himself, Alex sat with half lidded eyes and a strangely calm feeling propped up against the bathroom tiles outside of the shower, wrapped securely in a bunch of towels. Once James was done, he helped Alex to his feet and led him out of the bathroom into the larger bedroom, which Q and James now shared.
In a deeply satisfying way, Alex realised that his mind was empty, his reactions sluggish, and the world seemed to narrow down to the three people in the room together with him. James carefully positioned Alex in the middle of the bed, making sure that he was lying comfortable on his back, his hips slightly elevated by a pillow. Danny and Q had been in the bedroom already, entangled in a passionate kiss, with hands raking over each others bodies. Alex could not tear his eyes away from the white, beautiful skin, the slim body of Q, contrasted by the slightly toned skin and firm muscles of Danny's body, by now so well known to Alex. Danny's eyes were glinting with mischief, watching James laying out Alex in front of them.
Danny broke the embrace with Q, who protested quietly, only to be grabbed by James and practically assaulted with firm hands on his hips and a mouth pressed over his lips. Danny crawled on top of Alex, slotting their bodies together in a way so very familiar to both of them.
"Are you okay?" Danny whispered into Alex ear, licking and nipping.
A deep, contented sigh was his answer. Danny's smile widened and he peppered Alex face and neck with kisses and small bites, working his way down to rosy nipples, sucking and licking, enticing Alex. Both their cocks were hard and dripping, Danny's breathing laboured.
Somehow, Danny had lubed up his fingers, now slowly opening Alex, helping him relax. One finger, then a second breached him. Alex' world narrowed down to the face in front of him, the feelings of fingers inside of him. Danny, eyes bright and shining, slowly and gently entering him, giving Alex' the time needed to adjust. Lips touched his face, kissing away a tear, which was trailing down the side of his face.
James was lying beside him, his lips swollen from the ferocious kisses exchanged with Q, who was kneeling between James thigh, working him open. Alex blinked the tears away. The small frown on James face disappeared when Danny bend down to both of them, whispering into James' ear. Alex was too lost in sensations of touch, warmth and compassion to recognise the words. His mind blank, his body pliant, waiting to be used, wanting to be filled, to be manhandled and worked over.
Danny set a slow rhythm, while James got up on his hands and knees. Small grunts and closed eyes tell tale of the bliss provided by Q. Alex lifted a hand, trailing over James' face, feeling the tension in his groin mounting. His finger slipped into James' mouth. He was sucking it in, rolling his tongue over it. Alex opened his mouth, turning to Danny who had watched with dark eyes.
James was rutting against the mattress under him, Q pounding into him, and Alex' fingers were covered with saliva, drooling down James face. Danny pulled out of Alex, unable to take his eyes from the open, inviting mouth, the sounds of Q's and James' coupling enticingly close by. Alex waited. Danny's hard length right in front of his mouth, slick with precome and lube. Danny's look pleading, but holding himself back, waiting for permission. When Q cried out, Alex gave a small nod, and Danny moved forward, letting Alex latch onto his cock, sucking eagerly.
He revelled in the feeling of Danny inside his mouth, tried to pull him in further, down his throat. James moved in behind Danny, lifting Alex' legs up on his shoulders and plunging hard into him. Alex' eyes rolled back, lost in giving pleasure, in being used.
Q had moved close to Alex now, a satisfied smile on his face. Watching over him, while Danny and James used him to chase their pleasure. A hand found its way to Alex' cock, hard and leaking on his belly. Q palmed it, letting it slide and move through his fingers as James and Danny thrust into Alex' body. Alex focussed on his breathing, emotion crashing over him. Safety, love, home. Acceptance. The tears were flowing freely now. Not tears of distress, Danny knew. Alex was deep under now, floating in a sanctuary, blissful and protected.
Q brought Alex to orgasm, James followed shortly after, spilling into Alex, who still shuddered from the prolonged sensations. When Danny finished down Alex' throat, he swallowed, only to be kissed deeply seconds later by Danny, who licked his belly clean, before all four of them fell in a tangled, satisfied heap on the bed. Not caring about the mess they'd made.
Alex was the first to wake up. Normally buried under Danny's pliant form and happy to stay in bed, before being the first in the flat to go about his morning business. This morning was different. Alex was sandwiched between Q and Danny, James lying behind Q, with his arm across Alex' chest. The sheets and pillows were tangled up around them. Sounds of light snoring and breathing mingled with a few sounds from outside the bedroom. Q's cats, or rather, their cats were impatiently waiting for someone to feed them. Guiltily, Alex remembered that he hadn't given a thought about the cats the night before.
Carefully, Alex disentangled himself. Kissing Danny lightly on the forehead and James on the cheek, brushing back a stray strand of hair from Q's face. He knew James was feigning sleep, but let it pass unacknowledged. Right now, Alex needed some time alone to get to terms with this new reality.
And to take care of the cats, who were mewing annoyed at him when he exited the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Of the two cats, Pam, the white one, had claimed Alex as her property. If he was sitting with her on the sofa and Danny wanted to cuddle close, a few well placed slashes would leave Danny with tiny bloodied streaks on his arms and Pam content in Alex' lap. Turing on the other hand, had taken a clear liking for Danny, leaving Q in the cold whenever Danny was around.
Right now though, both cats were hungry and angry about having been left behind the night before. Alex made sure they had food and fresh water in their bowls, before he went into the bathroom. His body was covered with small bruises, which he examined with a welcomed feeling in his chest. Love bites, he thought. He was sore after last nights activities. Sore and pleased.
They had come so far since the white room. It had taken three days, before Danny had been able to coax him out of his prison. The patience of Danny had helped him overcome his fears. Danny had held him through his initial breakdown and those that followed. He had cuddled into him at night, when Alex was woken by nightmares. Had hugged him and cradled him during the nights, when he couldn't fall asleep. Told him about Danny's adventures, how he had fought to clear Alex' name, always with a happy ending. The HIV infection, which had been fake; the program, which Alex had poured all of his love into, and which Danny only could decipher by Q's help; the news papers who wouldn't listen and told the story planted by Spectre's agents; Scottie's death to be redeemed by MI6, now the truth had become known. Alex sat in the kitchen with a cup of tea, contemplating the turn his life had taken.
"Did you imagine you'd spend the rest of your life alone?"
Danny's question came back to him. When James broke through the door to the white room, Alex had wanted him to pull the trigger. When TRS was brought down moments later and Danny was standing in the doorway, Alex thought him to be an angel.
Danny was an angel. Maybe a broken one, but with an innocence and a resilience, Alex still could not fathom.
Six months had passed since then, and Q's offer to stay in his flat until things were sorted, had turned into them staying permanently. Danny could not face living in Scottie's house. It was and would always be Scottie's. He had kept it, and had not yet decided what to do with it. Alex had no intentions to seek a renewal of his relationship with Frances or the rest of his family. Working as a programmer in Q-branch was all he could have dreamt of. And while James and Q had continued their line of work, now even better prepared than ever before due to Alex working with them, Danny had started to carve out his own little place in the world. While he had been happy to stay at home until Alex was ready to face the world on his own again, Danny had taken up writing. Attending a few classes and turning his experiences into small poems and short stories. Not ready for publishing yet, but Alex knew he would get there.
The morning sun had broken through the clouds.
Alex put on his running shoes. Time to start training again.