Chapter 16

DISCLAIMER - None of these delightful characters are mine, all belong to JK Rowling.

Obsidian eyes skated over them, the temperature in the library seemed to drop, making goosebumps stand on Luna's forearms but her face burned as though from high fever. The Professor had barely glanced at her, he took in the sight of all four of them, showing neither acknowledgement or affection in his expression.

"Four First Years in the restricted section. How extraordinary," he said, sounding mildly curious.

Luna knew there was nothing mild about him. This was the calm before the storm and the others knew it too. Ron looked as though he had met the Bandon Banshee by a haunted wood at midnight on the very day his favourite Quiddich team lost the World Cup.

Madam Pince came towards them, her sharp heels making an urgent clatter against the wooden floor. Snape accioed the book that lay on the floor, turning it over in his hand to view the cover.

"Sounds from the Living Grave- The Ancient Art of Listening to Infinity," he read aloud.

Inscrutable eyes flickered up to scan their faces once more.

"Going for extra homework credits, Miss Granger? A little reading to bulk out those Quiddich magazines you pore over Mr. Weasley?" he asked.

"No Sir, we came to look…" whatever Hermione was going to say was cut short as Luna interjected.

"Professor, we came to look for any information on the Deathly Hallows. I thought that I could do some research here. It was my idea and I asked Hermione, Ron and Harry to come with me," she said, looking up into her guardian's face.

Now, his eyes alighted on her and Luna felt her breath catch at the flare of anger she saw there. Still, she did not flinch.

"I got permission, Sir" she said evenly, and surprise sparked within his ebony scrutiny.

"Yes, they have a note, Professor Snape. I did wonder but it is legitimate," Madame Pince said archly, holding out the permission slip to him.

He took it, glanced down at it and his lips thinned, a muscle clenching in his jaw. His gaze rose to skewer Luna. One eyebrow arched.

"Permission in your name, signed by Professor Trelawney. How helpful of her," his lip curled.

He lifted his eyes from her and narrowed them as he took in the three other faces.

"If you think this pig and pug tale is fooling me, you are much mistaken. I do not know how you inveigled this permission slip but valid it is. Lucky for all of you or you would be serving a month of detentions in my dungeon! As it stands, twenty points from each of you for disturbing the silence of this library and I will be informing the Heads of your Houses as to your actions. Mssrs. Potter and Weasley, Miss Granger I would waste not another second in returning to your dorms if I were you. Should I see so much as the shadow of any of you where you are not supposed to be again and you will wish you had never stepped foot inside this castle!"," he snarled.

Three pairs of eyes flew to Luna who was standing silently by his elbow. He had not dismissed her.

"Get out!" he roared and they turned hastily in retreat, Hermione glancing back apologetically at Luna. Luna gave a small shrug and a hint of a smile, designed to reassure her friend that it wasn't so bad. Hermione didn't look convinced and Luna didn't feel it.

Once again silence floated like dust around them.

"Thank you, Madame Pince," Snape nodded to his prim looking colleague. Without another word, she drew back to her domain at the desk in the front of the building.

Luna waited into the frosty and hostile quiet. She heard her own breath, she heard his, the sound seemed to fill the room.

"You are becoming quite the academic. All of this help to the Gormely girl, now this research of your own. I can hardly keep up," he said at last, not looking at her.

Luna dropped her head, embarrassment flooding through her at getting caught out so badly and shame too, confronted with her deception.

"What are you going to do?" she asked, maintaining her careful study of the ground

"I'm going to get the truth out of you, that's what I am going to do!" he snarled.

"We really were looking for information about the Hallows," Luna said.

He whipped around and took her arm in a firm hold.

"You are about to get the spanking you have so richly earned. If you tell me another lie, so help me, I will administer it right here!" he growled at her.

Luna looked stricken. She'd known he would be angry if he found her out but the man glaring ferociously at her looked like a stranger.

She shook her head.

"I'm not lying," her voice was hoarse but her tone conveyed her sincerity. She looked into his eyes, even as fear swam in her own.

He released her suddenly and strode ahead of her.

"Come with me, now," his voice was clipped and cold.

Luna's feet seemed to obey of their own accord but she was barely able to match his determined march to his quarters.

As they descended into the dungeons, Luna felt the bleakness of the dank stone walls, cloaked in pulsing shadows sink into her skin, into her bones. She had lied to him and it had seemed like fun, sneaking off to meet her friends in secret. Now, it seemed stupid and childish and it had cost her something that she had not considered. She had betrayed the trust he had placed in her and there was no fun to be found in that thought.

She reached out and slipped her hand into his, suddenly overwhelmed at the idea of facing his wrath alone. She thought at first that he was going to pull away but though he did not speak and his pace did not slow, his fingers closed reassuringly around her own.

They entered his living room and a flick of his wand had the lights flickering but though darkness retreated, light did not dilute the tension. He let go of her and paced to the fireplace.

"I know you won't believe me but I am sorry. I'm not sorry for the fun I had but I am sorry that I was not honest with you about what I was doing," she said and her voice sounded very small, very papery in the leaden weight of ill humour that hung between them.

He dropped his head, the fall of his hair hiding his face. Luna waited for him to say something, the silence stretched and she wished he would say anything. She stood for endless seconds, her heart beating in a way that was painful, waiting for him to enact the punishment he had threatened and terrified of the moment when he would.

"Wait in your room," he issued the command without looking at her.

It was only when he heard her bedroom door close with a soft thunk that he rose his head and looked on an empty room he did not see.

He had a particular gift for anticipating what was to come, as a result few people ever caught him unaware. Time and again, Luna Lovegood had defied this comfortable standpoint of his and this evening's revelations had been no different. It had not occurred to him for a single second that she had been up to anything. Had he been looking closely enough? He did not know, he was not a parent and he felt his shortcomings keenly now.

He had worried that she would not have friends, solitary, almost other worldly creature that she was, now he seethed that she was being led into mischief making by having the wrong ones. Out of all of the students in this school, she had to be an ally for Harry Potter. He shook his head. A recipe for disaster, that's what it was, his shy ward and the adventure thirsty Potter and his friends marrying their fates.

He had wondered at the lack of adolescent insubordination Luna had shown from the start, now she seemed to have developed an appetite for it. Well, it was time to take matters in hand, he had been too lenient, too lax and the time had come to reinforce boundaries.

He took a determined step towards her bedroom, reaching to his waist as he did. He unbuckled his belt and drew it into his hand, with a soft whoosh as it came free of its loops. He folded it, the buckle tucked into his palm.

He stopped, looked at his hand, the strap of leather hanging from it and an image came to his mind, so clearly, so strongly, it was as though he had teleported into another setting.

In this one, he was a much younger version of himself, no more than eight years old and he was also watching a hand clutch a leather strap. Except this time, it was not he who wielded it, it was his father and Snape felt the wash of absolute terror and helplessness that sight had brought to him, even though there was much water under the bridge since that time.

He opened his free hand and lifted the other to bring the belt down once, a light stroke across his palm but just the same, the crack sounded too loud, a reprehensible noise that made his stomach roil. He could never strike the child with this, he knew and he flung the belt so it landed harmlessly on the couch.

He strode to her door, rapped his knuckles against it but did not wait for her to say anything before opening it. He stepped into her bedroom, his face sternly set and found her sitting on the edge of her bed and looking like she was awaiting a medieval torturer.

She was scared, properly frightened and he tightened his lips. Good, he thought. It was high time she learned that he was not running a free for all here, neither was he a lily livered, custard cream of man she could run rings around. He closed the door and gave her a glare that would have a room full of Slytherins wishing for the mothers.

Luna watched as her guardian came in, looked into his hard eyes and felt every thought in her head melt like late snow before the sun. She drew her knees up, wrapped her arms around them and rested her head against them, hiding her face and escaping those menacing eyes.

"Look at me young lady," he instructed and though Luna wished to obey, the most powerful enchantment in the world could not have made her rise her head.

"Luna."

Impatience made her name sound like an accusation. She squeezed her eyes shut.

She felt a hand on her head, a gentle touch that reached through the tendrils of negative emotions gripping her and brought comfort. It was a familiar and soothing gesture.

"What is it that you are afraid of?" Severus asked.

Slowly, her head came up but her eyes did not quite meet his.

"Being punished?" a brow lifted.

There was a small almost indiscernible shake of her head.

He paused, looked at her and his brows met in a disbelieving scowl.

"You are afraid of me?"

Her head turned, her eyes fixed on the wall opposite.

"You should know better than that. And you should know better than to lie to me and think that a few guilty looks will soften me up!" he scolded.

"I warned you before what would come of it if I found you being dishonest with me. I will make good on my word, Luna but I would never do anything to harm you. Never," he said sounding cross and unsympathetic and completely truthful.

She looked into his face and dipped her head in a single nod.

"I know that," she said softly.

"Then what is all this about?" he demanded.

"I know that it was wrong, not telling you the truth. And I feel bad about that but, Severus, it was fun, in a way," she said, feeling measures of guilt collide with the thrill of defiance within her.

It was alien to Luna to feel this perplexing cocktail but Severus pursed his lips, easily identifying the first reach for independence in a teenage heart.

"I am not going to punish you for the fun you have had, you troublesome brat. But I do not tolerate falsehoods and for that, there is a consequence," he said unrelenting.

"I want you to tell me what has been going on, all of it, no more games," he eased himself down to sit on the edge of her mattress alongside her.

Luna looked into his face,

"I've been meeting up with Hermione, Ron and Harry but you know this. I didn't tell you as I didn't think you would allow it," she began but her mind was whirring.

Luna was resigned to meet her guardian's ire herself but she did not intend to drop her friends in trouble.

He rewarded this statement with a sideways look laden with irony.

"What is it that you have been looking for that requires such secrecy?"

"We wanted to learn about the Resurrection Stone," she admitted, leaving out the name of Flamel.

"It seems like it might be here and if it is, we wanted to know more about it," Luna explained.

"Some people think that you know where it is, That you want to take it," she allowed in a more subdued tone.

"Some people? And you, Luna?" the black eyes were cooly interested.

Hers were steady in reply. She shook her head.

"You would never steal from Professor Dumbledore. He is your friend. You are prepared to do more for your friends than you really want to. That's how I know," she said.

He stayed silent, confronted yet again with that unsettling perception that came so easily to her. She saw more than he wanted her to, at times. It made him uneasy.

"You lot are meddling in things that are none of your business and it is finished! Do you understand me?" he said at last.

"Yes."

"You are well aware that jaunting around this castle with Merlin knows what out there that is still a threat to you is a bad idea, a dangerous thing to do and if I see any more it from you, I will make this encounter seem like a picnic by comparison," he was rather intimidating when he glowered like that.

Luna believed him.

"Let's get this taken care of. Up you get," he took hold of her arm and Luna obediently got to her feet, feeling an eerie sensation of having her stomach drop like gravity had suddenly grown stronger.

Without hesitation, he bent her across his knee, positioning her so that she lay facing the rug beneath his feet.

Luna saw the high shine of the black leather shoes he wore, the neat knot on his laces. The toes were gently rounded and slightly scuffed. Strands of her hair danced before her eyes like golden stripes. She studied these details as though trying to commit them to memory.

He delivered the spanking without further pause, swift smacks landing sharply. Her hands fisted in the cotton throw on her bed.

Snape was alarmed that this was her only reaction and above her, he frowned fiercely. What was she doing, trying to be stoic? Stubborn? Prove he could not get to her? He had given her eight deliberate swats, none severe but just the same, this endurance she was showing was more than disconcerting. There was not one tear, not even a reluctant sob. That was not natural.

He brought his hand down twice more, a little more forcefully this time but she pressed her face into her bed covers and made not one sound.

It was only when Luna felt his hands, strong and intent on her shoulders lifting her upright again that she realised the spanking had ended. She had no idea how long it had lasted, it seemed like weeks. She didn't know what to expect now. Was the Professor going to shout at her? Scold her? Tell her that she could not stay in his care any longer?

"Are you alright?"

She looked up, startled to see his face was pale, no, nearly white, his eyes flaring. He looked almost ill.

"I think so," she replied uncertainly.

There was an uncomfortable heat where his smacks had landed, she felt chastened, vulnerable, but what was really awful was the expression he was wearing. It hurt her to be confronted with it.

He cupped her face in his hands. He looked at her, his eyes searching for something but Luna knew not what it was and she felt frightened by the clinical analysis. He looked angrier at her now than he had before he had punished her.

"I'll be good, Severus. From now on, I won't give you any more trouble. I promise," she said a little desperately.

"You have not cried. Not one tear. How is that even possible?" he demanded.

"Do you want to show how strong you are? I know it already. Are you wanting to prove your stamina? I have all the proof I need!" his eyes were still fixed on her, the study frightening, inescapable.

"I don't feel like crying," Luna told him.

"What happened… the…. when you did that… it stung and I wanted it to be over. It is now," she went on.

"There is no shame in letting yourself cry, Luna. In showing how you are feeling. I can't read you. What if I had actually hurt you, given you too much? There was no way for me to know!"

He looked repulsed at the thought.

"You didn't. It wasn't nice, though," she confessed.

"There are times when you frighten the life out of me," he shook his head but it was something of a relief to Luna that the burning intensity of his gaze had quietened.

"I don't mean to."

"Lie yourself down, rest some. We will talk later when feelings are running not quite so high," he sighed.

He was uncomfortable, the interaction had felt unpleasant in a lingering way that he had not expected. Discipline he understood and could administer without any difficulty yet now, he felt quite horrible and strangely, ridiculously guilty. He had done nothing wrong, he told himself. This girl needed to be reminded of who was in charge but the thought did not bring him ease. So, he fell back on the one other resource in his repertoire, retreat.

Yet, before he made it through the door, he stopped and glanced back, saw that she was watching him, still standing on her bedroom floor. He saw how unsure of herself she seemed, now that the first steps into freedom caused her to crash and fall. Perhaps she wasn't so difficult to read afterall.

"You heard me. Rest now. Things will get better," he said, opened the door and left with only a rustle of his robes.

Luna followed his advice, lay on her tummy on top of her bed but she did not get under the covers. The pillow was cool beneath her cheek but her eyes felt hot. She let her eyelids drop, glad at the peaceful dark that shrouded her with her thoughts.

She hadn't meant to sleep, didn't think she could with so much swirling about in her head, so many feelings causing her heart to feel heavy from carrying them. Still, when Luna opened her eyes again, the room around her felt quiet, the sort of silence that comes with the night.

Sure enough, her window was a frame for the starlight in the sky outside as she got to her feet, wondering if she was the only one awake. After a few seconds indecision, she decided to investigate and let herself out into the hallway, following the rectangle of light at the end of the corridor that told her that Snape was still up and in the living room. Perhaps he was grading homework or reading, whatever it was, he was making not a sound. Somehow, she did not want to disturb the hush that had fallen, so without really thinking about it, she walked as soundlessly as a cat down the hallway and towards the light.

At the door, she paused, looked in and saw that the Professor was seated on the sofa, only his profile visible. She stood for a long moment, debating whether or not she should say something. He looked preoccupied and for all Luna knew, she was supposed to stay in her room until he told her otherwise. Or perhaps he did not want to be disturbed or maybe he simply did not want further intrusion from her this evening.

"Well, come here, then."

He rose an arm in an invitation to her and Luna fairly crossed the room in a heartbeat.

"How did you know I was there?" she asked, tucking herself into the crook of his arm.

"Magic," he said.

Luna's eyebrows shot up.

"You have enchanted the doorway?"

He jerked his chin at the large oak sideboard in front of the couch, the aged one that sat in the wall beside the fireplace. The glass panels reflected the room back to Luna's eyes, including the now empty threshold.

"Very funny!" she settled back against him, letting her head rest against his shoulder.

He was warm and strong and no matter that he was angry at her, Luna felt very much better than she had all alone in her room. He cuddled her to him for long moments without saying anything and she let herself be comforted without breaking the companionable silence.

At last, though he looked down on the top of her head.

"You are being very quiet. Are you sure you are alright?" he asked and his tone was gentle.

She nodded against him.

"Yes, sir. I'm ok. If you don't mind though, I'd like to stay here a bit longer."

He chuckled briefly, the sound a rumble in his chest near her ear.

"You may stay as long as you want."

"Severus? I shouldn't have lied. And I'm sorry about it," her voice was partially muffled as she kept her head down.

"So you have told me. You don't have to keep apologising, Luna. It has been dealt with," he replied.

"Do I have to stop being friends with Harry and Ron and Hermione?" Luna made her voice sound light. Then she bit her lip and waited, then she squeezed her eyes shut, feeling silly to do so. It was not as if this could block out an answer she didn't want.

He sat forward and away from her, turning to look down into her face.

"What are you doing? Open your eyes and look at me!" he sighed.

"Of course you do not. I would choose different friends for you if it were up to me, I confess. But it is not up to me! You are free to choose your own friends, as all of us must be if we are to be happy," he said.

Luna's face brightened instantly, he saw.

"But there is one thing to remember from now on," he warned.

"It is my approval you need to be mindful of, not that of your friends."

Her colour heightened but she gave a resigned nod.

"Yes, I know. No more sneaking around behind your back."

"Absolutely none. And we will have truth between us from now on, are we agreed?" his midnight eyes stayed on hers until she blinked.

"Agreed," there was openness in her expression but then, a small frown shadowed it.

"What is it?" he asked, alert.

"You think you will be able to trust me again?"

Now her eyes flickered from his. He placed a finger under her chin, lifted her face until she had no choice but look at him.

"I have not stopped trusting you. I did not care to find that you told me a pile of convenient fibs but I have not come to believe you are a career liar," he had that look again, the one that said he expected better of her.

"But you are still cross with me."

"Yes. And I plan to be for a time yet! That is what happens when you worry about someone and discover that they are behaving without good common sense!" he snapped.

"And given that you have avoided looking at me of your own volition since you came in here, I can deduce and I think correctly that you are cross with me, Miss Lovegood!" he huffed.

"Only because you…. You were mean to me," she finished lamely.

"Mean to you? I gave you nothing more or less than you deserved! But I would be very happy not to have to repeat it, I will tell you that," he growled.

"Be cross with me all you want, Luna. Just don't hate me forever," he leaned back against the back of the couch and now, her eyes flew to his face freely.

"I don't hate you!" she said emphatically.

Then she leaned back, finding her place snuggled against his side once more.

"I just don't like you very much right now," she murmured.

Behind her, a crooked smile lifted Snape's lips. He had asked her to be honest!

He lifted his arm around her again and presently, he heard her breathing grow deep and even and knew she had fallen asleep. Carefully he stood and hefted her into his arms, preparing to carry her to her bed. She felt weightless and he looked at his tiny burden, feeling an intense gladness just to know where she was, to have her where he knew he could protect her.

When he started caring so much about that? He could not remember now. Nor could he think of a way back before that time.