Chapter 12
"There's a fire starting in my heart, Reaching a fever pitch, it's bringing me out the dark, Finally I can see you crystal clear, Go 'head and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare, See how I leave with every piece of you, Don't underestimate the things that I will do"- Rolling in the Deep by Adele
"I know ya," Clay says the moment we meet. His Gym was even more complicated than Lenora's, if I'm being honest. It's nothing but elevators going up and down, up and down, up and down. Take the wrong elevator and you have to repeat the process again. It's dizzying to day the least.
"You do?" I know for sure that I've never seem him before face-to-face. If I did, I would have known. Maybe its the lighting.
"Yea. I can't place it, I reckon." His voice is odd, like it's scratchy and gravelly and he's trying his best to create a deep accent, but it contrasts with another. It kind of displaces me a little, along with his cowboy outfit. I'd expect it from Orre, not Unova. I'm sure he doesn't mind standing out, though. "So ya ready to battle?"
"Uhh...sure?" He kind of intimidates me a little.
"Good. I like ya, kid. Go Krokorok!" Out comes a smug looking crocodile like Pokémon. I register it into the Pokédex. Ground/Dark. In that split-second decision making, I decide to play it safe and take Madge out. "Is that yer final choice?"
"Yes. I'm using four Pokémon in this battle."
"Four against three," Clay notes. "Use Torment!"
"Madge, use Work Up!"
"Well, I'll be! I didn't expect ya to use that move at all! You remind me of someone. I'm really tryin' to place it. Ah. Krooky, use Swagger!"
"Take Down!" But before Madge can use her powered attack, she hits herself instead in confusion. It practically knocks her out. Oh no.
Worse yet, I can't use Take Down again due to the Torment. That leaves Helping Hand, which won't do anything and Crunch, which is a rather neutral attack on the Krokorok. I'm in trouble.
"Use Crunch!" Madge manages to land a hit, but like I predicted, it doesn't do very much. My spirits are not high right now.
"Bulldoze!" And with that hit, Madge goes down. The Krokorok then does a dance, his arms pumping.
"Ya see that, Miss Trainer who looks so familiar? That there is Moxie." I'm not quite sure what Moxie is but it doesn't seem very good.
My nerves start getting to me and I think it's time to take out my powerhouse. "Ganon, you're up!" Clay laughs at my choice. "Take Down!" I tell Ganon the moment he comes out and he manages to land a critical hit on the Krokorok. It doesn't take him down.
"Bulldoze!"
"Arm Thrust!" That manages to land even more damage. Of course. Fighting is strong against Dark! Why do I keep forgetting these things? It manages to render my opponent unable to battle. Yay. Now two more!
"Palpitoad, come out!" I know this Pokémon. Oh wait. It's the evolved form of Tympole. That's not—"Use Bubblebeam!"
With that attack, Ganon faints as quickly as Palpitoad comes out. I have two more. "Courage!" Courage bravely faces against the Palpitoad and waits for my command.
"Use Aqua Ring!"
"Seed bomb!" I don't know how it happens, but a miracle takes place right then and there as it one-shots the Palpitoad. Oh right! There's a double weakness right there...
How could I be so stupid?! Maybe if I started with Courage, I could have swept Clay with him. Courage is feeling excited as he jumps in his spot enthusiastically, waiting for his next opponent.
"Excadrill go!"
"Use the same move again!" But the Seed Bomb doesn't do very much. Okay, maybe I was wrong with my assessment of Courage doing a clean sweep. Oh, if only I could afford revives and revive Ganon. He could use his Flame Charge...
"I know ya now. Ya remind me of Wendy McQueen." My body goes slack at the mention of her name. "I mean, she got hitched and changed her name to—"
"Wendy Bel," I tell him, her name feeling funny as my lips sound each syllable of her name. "She's my mother. My biological mother."
Clay's face falls as the battle goes into this odd idle state. I don't even take his shock to my advantage. Instead, I just wait for something to happen. "Oh...Bulldoze!"
"Leech Seed!" Since they're going to be neutral, I might as well have a plan of recovery.
"I shoulda realized the resemblance to her. It's scary how you two look alike. She was beautiful and strong. Coulda made it to the Elite Four if she wanted to, especially with that Darmanitan of hers." I wonder if it's a compliment that he's calling her beautiful and saying I resemble her. Then again, he's using the word "strong", which I'm definitely not. Especially considering how I'm losing to him right now.
The battle starts to sway his way with his offensive moves and Courage loses his will to fight. Thing is, so do I. At the thought of my biological mother being mentioned in a Gym battle, it makes me lose some motivation. That and the weird chill again. Maybe it's from shock.
"Go ahead! Ya have one more."
But with one good Bulldoze to Munny, she goes down. I've failed to get the Gym Badge. "Please come back again when yer ready."
I leave the Gym and am met with a cold night air, which again is so odd considering it's summer. I kind of wish I was wearing a jacket. The cold fits in with my negative feelings of despair and realizations. I will never be as strong as White or Cheren or even my mother. It's a sad realization knowing that you're not going to amount much in life or that there's a halt to it. Things happen in two ways to me: either I win at something due to sheer luck or I win miserably after a desperate few tries. I will never be the Bianca who magically gets things done like White does or even have a path laid out for me.
I get flashbacks to my childhood and early teens from all of the times people called me a dumb blonde. Or a ditz. Or a klutz. I pretend to take it in stride, but it really will bother me and my need to prove them wrong intensifies...except I never know how I'm going to do it.
I need moral support. I can't call Cheren because Cheren's terrible at moral support. There's no way I'm going to seek out White because she's got her own massive issues that go beyond angst. Juniper's Juniper, so no. I could call the hotel and ask for Colress and risk coming off as a creepy stalker and talk to him about things I don't know if I would feel comfortable telling someone I barely know...
Then it hits me.
I go on the video chat screens at the Center and dial home. Dad picks up. Thank goodness.
"Bianca, my dear. How are you? You look sad. What is it?"
"I wish I knew my mom better." I know there's records of her online. You can do a quick search on "Wendy McQueen" and you'll get archives on how twenty years ago, she was the eighth ranked trainer in Unova and in the top one hundred worldwide. I did a search for her once and only once when I was thirteen. It made me uncomfortable when I saw her image so I never did it again. It was like seeing an older, bizzaro version of myself with long blonde hair falling down my back. I absently touch the tips of my hair, knowing that it's a big reason on why I have little desire to grow it out.
Dad's face changes completely from glad to matching mine. "I know. What made you think that way, honey?"
"I was fighting with Clay and he remembered her."
"Oh. Did he say anything mean about her?" Dad inquires. I can feel angry undertones in his voice. I know my dad well enough to drive to Driftveil overnight and beat the stuffing out of Clay for saying anything mean about her.
"No. He was being nice. It made me sad." I don't know if telling him these things could work against me. For all I know, he can revert back to his previous stance and declare me as too naive on having my journey and it'd be Nimbasa 2.0 and this time, I won't have Elesa to back me up.
"So you're at Driftveil? That's close to Mistralton, I believe. I suppose you can always visit her there." I haven't been to Mistralton since I was five. "I think that can make you feel better, more united with her."
"Maybe." I don't want to go in on how weak of a trainer I am compared to my peers or her.
"Oh, and by the way, go and visit her around the sunrise. I promise you won't regret it. Do you feel better now, my dear?"
"Yes, daddy," I say, telling him a half-truth. I suppose I'll give up on the Gym Leader challenge for these next few days and do that instead, then I'll see how I'll feel then. I think that's a solid plan.
Then I remember something else. Something so minor and nondescript that it's caused me to forget that it happens to be of great importance. I dig through my bag, shoving out all of the café receipts and other places whose receipts I've also stashed for some reason (I need to really stop doing that) until my hand feels something cold on the bottom left side.
"There it is!" I say, taking out the Leaf Stone.
I dig to what I've called the designated place for my Pokéballs and take out Courage's.
"Pan?" he says.
"You've done such an excellent job. I think its time for you to evolve, if that's okay with you." Really, Courage has done an amazing job and has contributed so much to my team. Even though I may be weak, I can still give him the ability to grow stronger. "Uh...I think I have to give it to you. Is that it?" I hand over the Leaf Stone to his right hand and he gladly accepts it. A veil of light I've only seen once before has surrounded Courage. When it fades, Courage's appearance actually doesn't change as dramatically as most other Pokémon. He's about a foot taller, his ears more pronounces and longer, and his hair is pooifer. I try to pick him up from where he's standing, but he weights too much for me.
"Oof. I don't think you can rest on my shoulder anymore, Courage."
He lets out a small whine, but quickly gets over it as he jumps higher than he once could. He's proud of what he has become. Even though I myself should be proud for him, bittersweet feelings linger.
A standard ringing noise wakes me up from my sleepless slumber. I see Juniper's name and number flash across the screen and the time above it. Six forty in the morning. Really?
"Bianca!" she says right when I pick up.
"Yes?" I say groggily.
"Go meet me at the hotel. We have things to discuss." She hangs up abruptly. I take my sweet time, though the advantage of this is that I get to use the bathrooms and shower all by myself so that's a silver lining.
I don't get there until about eight and Juniper's sitting in the lobby, with a huge amount of food and a cup of hot coffee.
"These are for you. I hope you like blueberry muffins. These are great." I take a bite and think they're okay at best. "Anyway, I have a mission for you to carry out other than this one. I need you to go and find White and Cheren and give them these." She shows me three CDs. "It's Fly."
"Oh. Thank you, Professor Juniper, but I don't really have use for this." That and I don't like the idea of flying.
"I'm sure you'll find a Pokémon to fly on eventually. It's a very efficient mode of transportation."
"Okay," I say, not bothering to explain myself further.
"But that's not all, I need you to go with me ahead onto Chargestone and map it out just in case. We need to have an exit, as anything can happen, such as a rockslide or a tornado."
"But a tornado won't—"
"You'd be surprised. Anyway, if you could please come with me after you're done."
"Totally," I say. My grogginess fades away as I eat and drink my coffee. I swear I've developed a dependence on it.
"So how'd it go against Clay?" Juniper asks me when we're just outside Driftveil.
"Not so good. I'm going to take a few days off from the Gym Challenge."
Juniper doesn't ask about it anymore. "Well, that's normal, I suppose. I never did the Gym Challenge, even though my father won two badges a million years ago." What she says makes me laugh. We pass a cottage in the middle of the route. "That's where my colleagues study Deerling and to a lesser extent, Sawsbuck. They change their form depending on what season it is. I see the Deerling in the forests nearby, but they're kind of hard to see as they blend in with the lush green colors. "They hypothesize it is to blend in with the season from predators or that they test those who wish to seek it out. This is why their colors don't change after they're caught, remaining in the form they were caught in. In history, Deerling and Sawsbuck were used as seasonal indicators so that the Unovans could adapt to the weather. But technology has rendered that obsolete."
"That's really cool, Professor Juniper." I still have no interest in catching any of these Deerling, though. I manage to record it into the Pokédex, though, which makes me happy.
When we reach up the steps, there's an immediate roadblock. A large, golden spider web is lined up all over the entrance to the cave.
"It comes from the Gavantula," Juniper says. "They're notoriously hard to remove. This is going to be a problem."
"Is there any possible way I can help? I think my Pignite can destroy it."
Juniper shakes her head. "No. Fire won't work against it as it is an Electric web. I'll have to stand here and tell people not to touch it in fear of others getting electrocuted, but this might not be a good sign. Only female Gavantulas are known to do this and they do so when they've just bred in order to protect their hatchlings. This also means there's a Joltik infestation. I know the solution to this. You can go fetch Clay. Ground types can easily destroy this web."
"I don't know if..." I begin, but Juniper gives me a sad look that convinces me otherwise. This can put a damper on her plans, which I understand have been important to her.
Ten seconds later, I'm on the way back, doing my best to not step on the puddles where the Palpitoads could randomly attack me. I need to save my Pokémon's energy.
Just outside of the city are White and Clay walking on the opposite way towards me.
"Hello, White!" I say. White looks like she's in a better mood now. "Hello, Clay. What are you two doing here?"
"Little lady here says there's a big web blocking the cave to Mistralton and that none of her Pokémon can take it down."
"Took me an hour and nothing," White finishes. She's grumpy to say the least.
"That's great!" I say absentmindedly, which manages to give them confused looks. "I mean. Professor Juniper sent me to look for you, Clay."
"Why of course she did." Clay takes off unceremoniously and its just me and White.
White and I walk behind him in silence. "Oh that's right! Juniper asked me to give you this. I know you have a Tranquill and it can come in handy." I hand Fly over to her and she takes out her Tranquil, attempting to give her the move along the way.
I want to say that I don't know how it happened, but I'd be lying when I said I didn't know how this silent rift between me and White has started. Maybe it's because we're setting on two different paths. Hers is to take Plasma down and help that N guy and mine...mine is uncertain. This journey has been fun, but in this matter, it has scared me. Then again, I'm still recovering from my epic breakdown from last night. I still feel like something's off, though, and it might just be me.
When we reach the entrance, Excadrill is Bulldozing the web while Clay and Juniper make idle conversation.
"Well, that about does it!" Clay says when his Pokémon finishes taking down the web. "I'm off. I'll see y'all again!"
"Hooray!" Juniper squeals, taking off into the cave. I follow her and White is not so far behind.
Chargestone cave is not what I expect. It's so beautiful! It reminds me of Nimbasa, but at the same time it doesn't. Both are glittery and electrifying, but this is much more natural that Nimbasa could ever strive for. There's giant, glowing blue crystals everywhere and the ground glows in a silver sheen.
"Beautiful place, isn't it?" Juniper says. "This place is always charged with lots of electricity that Pokémon like! The electric charges react from one stone to another, and that's why some of the stones are floating! But not all of the stones can be pushed. And that's why we're here! Since you're here, White, do you think you and Bianca could help push some of the stones?"
"Can do," White says.
We push a few stones and Juniper gets distracted by a passerby Klink and White is suddenly nowhere to be seen. Maybe she got tired of us and left. I wouldn't be surprised.
"Klink! Come back! I just want to ask you a few questions!" Juniper says, but her efforts are futile. She turns back to me. "We better keep going, then."
"The hell, man!" I hear White's voice from far away.
"Did you hear that?" I ask Juniper.
"No." Juniper looks clueless but I rush on ahead.
"White's in trouble." I follow the voices, as it isn't just White. There's other voices I can't recognize at all. I don't even know if they're male or female.
"I'm not going with you anywhere!" I see what looks like White at a bridge with a few dark figures but she's gone again in an instant.
"I'm sorry, Professor, but we have to find her!" I say, giving her the orders for once. I run away from all of the countless Joltik encounters and begin a search effort for White. It's kind of hard to do when you have a continually distracted Professor by your side.
"Oh look! A Ferroseed! That's super cool!" Juniper sounds like a little kid right now despite my nervousness. She's not very good at sensing emotion from others.
"Professor!"
"Oh yes, White. Did you know you have good hearing, Bianca? I still can't hear anything!"
It displaces me a little to hear that, but it's a pleasant feeling that is fleeting. "Thank you." I'm quiet for about a second then I react again. "Let's go!"
I hear White speaking again after a while and drag Juniper in that direction (Juniper once again affirms my good hearing). She's standing at the edge of the cave, looking absolutely furious. I swear I've never seen White look this way before. She's in a heated argument with a boy that looks a bit older than ourselves. He's distinctive looking, for sure, with long, flowing green hair and eyes I can't really see from this distance, but I'm guessing are blue. Or maybe gray? Possibly green. Anyway, he's actually really beautiful and I realize it totally makes sense for White to have those feelings of hope for him. If my adversary looked like that, I would be standing like White, who has her fists clenched and her wideset blue eyes narrowed at him trying to save him and all that.
"If you could go away, everything would be fine."
"You've been chosen, White. What? Does that surprise you? You're the only person who can stand their own ground when fighting me. But I assure you once I get Reshiram, I will fight your ideals about Pokémon." He's just as determined as she is, his airy voice unwavering. He looks and sounds nonthreatening, but his words are laced with poison.
"The hell are you talking about?"
"Hmm. Well, I suppose you don't understand so you're not surprised."
I look over at Juniper, who exchanges a confused glance. What is it with this guy?
"You fascinate me, White. I told Ghetsis about you and your friends. After I did, he apparently used the Shadow Triad to find out about you. Cheren is pursuing the fickle ideal of strength. Poor Bianca over here has faced the sad truth that not everyone can become stronger. And you are not swayed either way—more of a neutral presence."
"Hey! I'm right here!" I tell him, but he barely notices me. Wait a second. Shadow Triad? What the heck's a Shadow Triad?
"You have no right to use those creepy-ass dudes on stalking my friends! Stalking me is teetering over the line, but them is going beyond it! You do not invade my friend's private lives. That's it! Marth, go!" And when Marth comes out, I can't recognize him. I instantly record his data. Turns out he's a giant Samurott. Cooool.
He makes the mistake of summoning a Boldore, which she instantly wipes out in a fury.
"You know, I have a dream, yet many different values and morals mix together, and the world becomes gray... That is unforgivable! My dream is that one day, I will separate Pokémon and people, and black and white will be clearly distinct! Only then will Pokémon become perfect beings! Yes, that is my dream! That is the dream I must fulfill! So White, do you have a dream of your own?" He's not being coherent at all.
"Just take your second Pokémon out."
"You didn't answer my question. Go my centimeter sized friend!" He summons a Joltik.
"Yes, I have a dream. I dream of taking you and Plasma down. Then I'm going to go and try and have a relaxing adventure because that's what you've denied me of ever since I set foot outside my house." There's more under there. White's never been a big future kind of envisioner, instead just taking things as they go. Things have obviously changed for her since this journey began.
"That's wonderful!" N says, completely ignoring her tirade. That tiny, adorable Joltik manages to take down Samurott two turns later. White counters by taking out her Herdier, which finishes it off. It also manages to do considerable damage to a Ferroseed before it faints. Is it me, or is he using only the Pokémon I've seen in this cave?
She counters with an Axew, aka the Pokémon I saw Iris with and the one Cheren was hunting for. When did she get one?
"So who are you, trainer?" Juniper asks dismissively while they battle. "I think I remember you from one of my trainer files."
"I am N, King of Team Plasma. You may not know me, but I know you." N's creepiness shows even more now that his oddly colored eyes settle on Juniper. "Professor Juniper, what are you thinking? You appear to have no qualms about the relationship between Pokémon and people. You put Pokémon into categories using arbitrary rules and think you can understand them like that... The very idea of a Pokédex revolts me. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Juniper pauses and I can't read her expression. "Wow, is that what you think? That's an admirable and unconventional way of thinking, as it shows you've really thought of this concept, but I'm guessing you don't like my school of thought, which is totally one hundred percent fine. So I'll ask you this: what if all people get to decide for themselves on their relation to Pokémon. I mean, whose to say 'that Pokémon you have is Steel,'" she points to the Klink he's summoned. "Or maybe some people have decided to classify a Pokémon as their true companion."
N scoffs at her words and Klink takes a beatdown from White's Tranquill. A beam of light surrounds it and I stare at it, knowing what's going to happen next, but my breath escapes when the Tranquill stops her own evolution. N gives a huff at admiration for the Tranquill's independent choice, despite White's obvious letdown.
"That's a stupid and immature school of thought for someone as esteemed as you should have. So you just want me to accept if someone wants to hurt and abuse their Pokémon? I will not stand for this and I will fight!" N hastily runs away from the cave, which is kind of ironic, given the way he ended his little rant.
"Hey wait! I wasn't done schooling you yet! Get back here!" White says, running after him, but her shorter legs fail to catch up to him. "He won't understand until it's too late, I feel like. And I don't even know what 'too late' even means because it scares me."
Juniper is the first to react somehow. "Well, whenever that happens, know that you'll always have us at your—" Juniper gets distracted by another passerby Klink. "Hey! You there!" It's just me and White now.
"White?" I ask.
"Yeah?" Her face barely looks at me, instead looking at the rocks the ground. Despite the fact that she won, she looks, totally defeated.
"What's the Shadow Triad and what to they have to do with me?"
"They're these creepy ninja guys with grey skin and black eyes who work for Team Plasma. They like to hide in the shadows and watch people. They've been doing that with me for a while and they're doing it with you and Cheren, apparently. You don't see them, but when they're around, people and Pokémon act wildly and impulsively. They try to warp your feelings and amp it up so that they can identify it and return to Ghetsis on it. You remember him, right?"
"Tall, red eye, eyepatch, long green hair...wait. Could he be related to N?"
"Beats me. All that matters that I'm going to destroy his and N's efforts do make people and Pokémon across Unova sad."
"And why did your Tranquill not want to evolve?"
"Oh that?" White says a bit more casually. "It's the fourth time she's done this. She's scared of becoming ugly, but I've told her she'll be much faster and more useful than Cheren's when his evolves. Eh. It's her choice. I'll be ready when she is. Well, I gotta go and get my next badge so I can get one step closer to taking Plasma down. Wish me luck."
"No kidding." I hug White, which she returns, much to my relief and watch her go into the light that is probably Mistralton City. She'll need luck, all right.
And here's the one time N and Bianca canonically share a scene together. Don't worry, you'll see him eventually again.