Bury the Past

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

Chapter 7 (Survivor's Guilt)

Trina walked into her father's house, where she'd been staying since her arrival, and slumped on the couch. Her dad shambled across the way, moving past an archway and into the kitchen. "I can't believe it." Trina hunched forward, sweeping her hand across her face.

They'd been silent the entire way back, and even now there was very little to say. Trina wanted to say Tori was forced into making those videos, but she appeared to enjoy it. The techs at the lab said there was a typed document on the computer where the victim acknowledged a desire to try it because she wanted to add some excitement to her life.

It was a bitter pill to swallow, and one she didn't want to accept. As a sister, she was appalled, horrified, and shocked. She wanted to see Tori, to ask if she was okay and try and help her with anything she needed; but she couldn't.

Her tears stung like poison, and every breath she took was shallow and difficult.

As an investigator she knew this was just a trait in a victim's life, and a trait that was likely to create a number of suspects. Some were unlikely to be identified, she knew, and that was going to be hell. Trina prayed at the same time that the number of people Tori may have slept with would be small, and that her sister would still have stayed decent.

"What could have led her to this?" She ran her hand over her forehead and continued to groan. David returned with two large mugs of coffee in his hands. He extended one to her and she accepted it graciously. "Black?"

"Still drink it black?"

"Yeah." She raised her eyebrows and took a sip, delighting in the soothing taste. "Ah, extra strong. Just what the doctor ordered." She took another sip of the hot drink and her forehead crinkled. "Oh god." She pulled the mug away and exhaled. "Dad, what happened? Why would Tori-"

"I don't know. If I knew-if Holly knew…" David sank into the recliner and stared at the wall across from him. "Oh god we would have talked to her. Should have said something, should have done something. People go into that industry because they're damaged, right?"

"Sometimes." Trina blinked twice and shook her head. "God if that were the case, I'd be more of a candidate for going into porn than Tori." Hell, she even had more 'daddy issues' than Tori did. "Nothing makes any sense!"

"They often never do." David closed his eyes and dropped his mug to his knee. "It wouldn't be the first time I've seen a victim of homicide that was involved in something that didn't fit their personality at all. It happens everywhere: Gambling, drugs, pornography…this is just the first time it's…" He coughed and took another drink. "First time it's my own daughter."

"Yeah…"

"I'm left with more questions than answers. As a father and as an investigator." David and Trina looked at their coffee mugs, both thinking similar thoughts. "Should have grabbed the beer."

"After that discovery? Hell, I would have gone for whiskey."

"I have some." He cleared his throat and Trina raised her eyebrows, intrigued. "I make a really good Irish Coffee."

"Dad, we're Spanish."

"So?"

She smiled and shook her head. "Screw it, let's make some of that." David clapped once and rose from his chair.

A few hours later she was at the hospital, standing at Tori's bedside. Her eyes were red and her hands trembled as she ran her fingers along her sister's arm. "I don't care," Trina whispered, "What you've done. It hurts me to see you involved in something like this, to be hurting yourself in a way you don't realize. Maybe I shouldn't have left, would things have been any different?"

She moved her hand into Tori's and looked at the life support monitor. Her heart sank and fresh tears ran along her face. "My life is elsewhere, outside of LA, but…" She took a deep breath, shaking her head gently from side to side. "You don't want to hear that, I know, but it's the truth. When you've placed roots, it's hard to move them."

Afraid as she was, since Martin had yet to contact her and it had been several days now, she couldn't imagine moving back to LA when she'd already established her life.

"My husband…" Trina pulled a chair next to Tori's bedside and sat down, chuckling at herself. "I don't know if you hear me. I think you do, I hope you do, because I want you to know I'm here now. I'm here for you." She heard once that people in a coma were aware of things going on around them, but paralyzed everywhere but their mind. She believed this. "I can't imagine what you're dealing with right now, Tori, and I am so sorry that I couldn't be there."

"Just like that?" Trina leaned back as a memory played in her mind, drawing more tears from her eyes. Her last conversation with Tori had been by phone, but she hadn't needed to see her sister to know how angry she was. "You're done, Trina? Just like that? Walk out on your family? Cut us off? Leave us behind while you go off and do god knows what?"

"What do you want from me, Tori? I'm done being abused. By you, by your stuck up friends. I'm done being ignored by mom and dad, and treated like a lesser person."

"Oh whatever. You're imagining things, like you always do. Taking it out of proportion. Grandma and Grandpa died, and you act like you're the victim?" David and Trina never told her the extent of what happened, she was much too young to understand. Trina scoffed, growing angrier at her sister's accusation. "Why do you think I tell my friends you're crazy? Because you're obsessed with being the center of attention! Those guys murdered our grandparents, Trina, quit acting like they killed you."

Her hand trembled on the receiver and her voice grew tense as her heart began to race. "You don't know the extent of it, Tori. You don't know what happened. Mom and Dad never told you what actually went down, so you'd better shut the hell up before you go down a road you really don't want to go."

"You know what? I don't care! You're leaving, you said it yourself. You're never coming back. I might as well speak my mind, Trina. You're a self-obsessed piece of work, exploiting grandma and grandpa's death and playing victim when nothing happened to you."

Her voice trembled and she fought to remain as calm as she could, though it was difficult. "You know I was hospitalized. You know they hurt me too."

"But you're alive, Trina. Don't you get it? You're alive."

"So what? I should have died? Would that have made you feel better?"

"You may as well have died, you're exiting out of our lives and never coming back, so should I start dressing in black and grieve every day?" Unable to stand it anymore, Trina slammed the receiver down. Her entire body shook so terribly she thought an earthquake were hitting. Trina hunched over and covered her eyes, wailing into her hands.

It was at that point she decided to switch her name around and to make it difficult for anyone to find her.

"Was it my fault?" Trina sniffed and squeezed Tori's hand. "Was I the reason you decided to go into this lifestyle of yours? Were you acting out, crying for attention, crying for help?"

Trina wiped her tears with a brush of her hand and slowly shook her head, contemplating if it would have been better if Tori had understood what happened to her. "I don't know how much of what happened to me you know, but I can tell you what you've gone through…I know how that feels. I nearly died, multiple times that night."

She closed her eyes, trembling fearfully. "I…They choked me, they beat me savagely. They…they threw me into grandpa's television. Broke my arm, broke my leg, crushed my ribs. God, I don't even know why I survived." She took a deep breath and rocked forward. "For years I wondered it. I wanted to know what I was doing alive. I distracted myself by acting out, being obnoxious and stupid. I had to, I had to do something-anything-to keep from thinking about it."

It haunted her even to this day, seeing her grandfather collapse and her grandmother's head slowly fall to her chest. "They were shot before my very eyes, Tori. I watched our grandparents die. I-I was covered in their blood." Trina's voice rose and shook, saliva dripping from her mouth as a burning pain throbbed in her chest and coursed through her left arm and right leg. The sensation was all in her mind, of course, but what did it matter. "Then they beat me. They tied up dad and forced him to watch as they beat the shit out of his daughter."

Her hand cupped her mouth, stifling a sob. "Every time I would come close to passing out, they would let go of my neck to let me breathe…only to strangle me again. They made damn sure not to kill me, they wanted to break my dad by…"

Just then the heart monitor started beeping rapidly, sending a rush of panic through her body. She stood up, calling for the nurses. She took a step back, watching with wide eyes as several nurses surrounded Tori and worked to reduce the heart rate.

"No," Trina whispered, "Don't let her go. Please." She wiped her eyes and clutched her chest. "I love you Tori. I'll always love you. You're my baby sister, I'll always be here for you, no matter where I am. Please stay with me…"

It wasn't long before the heart rate was back to normal. As the nurses filed out, Trina slowly approached her sister, weeping softly as she placed her hand into Tori's. "I'm sorry, Tori…I'm sorry."

Maybe this was the reason she survived. To find justice. She thought about it when she was in the retirement community-that there was a reason for everything in this crazy, mixed up world. She witnessed her grandparents dying and survived that terrible night, then wound up in a retirement community where she caught two home invaders breaking into the homes of the elderly and terrorizing them.

Now she was here, finding justice for her sister, who suffered a similar trauma.

Her phone started to ring, startling her. She pulled it from her purse and saw Martin calling. Her heartbeat skyrocketed and her nerves swelled and grew tight in her chest as she answered the phone. "Martin! Martin, I've been trying to get a hold of you."

"I know," he replied. There was something off about his tone of voice, however, she detected it in an instant. "Where are you? LA?" There was a mild slur. In the background, music was playing and she could hear incessant chatter. Surprised and stunned, as Martin very seldom drank, she wasn't sure how to respond.

"Martin? Are you in a bar?"

"What does it matter?"

"Martin, I love you. You don't need to do that. I need you, just talk to me."

"Why couldn't you be honest with me? Why couldn't you trust me?" She heard a sniffle that caused her heart to drop.

"You don't understand. It's not that I didn't trust you, it's not that I couldn't be honest with you." She rubbed her arm and bowed her head, walking a few steps forward. "I just…there are some things I need to tell you, but I need you with me."

"Are you coming home?"

"Yes, but there's something I have to do first, Martin."

"You should be home with me, but you don't trust me." This wasn't like him at all, she knew better. He was drunk. She knew how much he hated drinking, how he hated the feeling of being drunk, so this could not become routine. "I loved you, Ellie. Or Trina. I still do…"

"Martin please. Go home and sober up, get out of that bar. I don't even know what you're doing there." She could call Gary, but he'd be twenty minutes away from where they were. Deputy Perez was closer, but she wasn't sure she wanted to involve him in this. "Call me when you're sober. We'll talk then."

"You don't even want to talk to me?" He sniffled again and started to groan. "I thought I was a good husband."

"You are!" She couldn't stand listening to him while he was drunk. He needed someone to get him away from that bar as quickly as possible. "Martin, sweetie, I love you. I have always loved you. I do have a hard time trusting people, but I trust you. I know I should have been more open with you a long time ago, but I'm ready…I need you…"

"It hurts." He groaned loudly. "My head feels like it's going to explode."

"It probably is. Put the bartender on, please." He complied, thankfully, probably in too much pain to complain. The bartender had a soft feminine voice, which Trina didn't like too much, but she wasn't threatened. "Ma'am, this is Martin's wife. Do not give him anymore alcohol, please. Cut him off. Which bar are you located at?"

"Alright miss, I'll try. Pour Pub."

"Now hang up the phone. Let him think you hung up on me." She didn't want him feeling any more abandoned than he already did. Thankfully the bartender complied, leaving her able to contact Gary. When the man picked up, she heard a familiar voice in the background. "Gary? Where are you?"

"I'm visiting with Deputy Perez, we were just discussing work. I'm filling in for you while you're away." Trina winced and moved her hand to her forehead.

"Great, just great." It seemed Deputy Perez would be involved either way. "Look, Martin just called me. He's drunk, and getting drunker. He's in a lot of pain right now." Gary groaned softly and cursed under his breath. "What's going on with him? He hasn't contacted me anytime beforehand."

"He's been in a bad way Trina, but don't worry, we'll shape him up."

"He's at the Pour Pub on Oak St."

"Alright, we'll go ahead and grab him…"

"Thanks." She hung up her phone and sank into the chair next to Tori. Dumbfounded and bewildered, she stared absently at the wall in front of her. With her mother dead, her sister in a coma, and now her husband was depressed, she didn't know what to do. "This is hell."

What are your thoughts and observations here?