The inn was packed, so much so that I quickly threw my hood up over my face and made my way to the stairs. When I reached the bottom I grabbed Garrett's arm, pulling him to me.
"Can you ask Trudy to make up two plates for us and bring them to my room?" I glanced around suspiciously. "I don't think we should stay out in the open." He nodded and put his hand on my back, nudging me up the stairs.
I went past my door to Leliana's, having not seen her down stairs. I knocked quietly and waited, hearing the lock turn just as the door opened.
She looked tired, her hair uncombed and no make-up; it was as if she had just rolled out of bed. I smiled, nodding into her room. She moved aside for me to enter, yawning and stretching an arm as she closed the door behind me. I sat in a chair by the window.
"Can't stay long, but I wanted to check on you," I said, noting that she still stood next to the door. "Are you ok?" She nodded.
"I am, just not able to sleep well." She finally moved over to the bed and sat down.
"You're missing Solana?" I asked. She shook her head.
"I am but that is not the main reason," she paused, looking at her nails and squishing up her nose in disgust. She looked up at me. "I've been thinking about what you said on our way here, about Marjolaine." I got up and walked over to the bed, sitting down beside her and putting a hand on her leg.
"Lel," I said, "I'm not saying the decision will be easy but confronting her will go one of two ways. We will either kill her, making sure she has no chance to ever harm you again, or you will take pity on her and look over your shoulder the rest of your life. Either way, whatever decision you make, I will stand by you." I gave her leg a squeeze. "It's your life. Your choice." I stood up, remembering food was coming. "Hungry? I ordered something to be brought to my room." She bit her lip then shook her head.
"Later maybe," she said as she walked over to the vanity and sat down. "I look dreadful, why didn't you say something?" she looked at my reflection in the mirror. I smiled.
"Because I love you," I said as I waved my fingers at her and walked out.
Garrett was waiting for me when I walked into my room, sitting at the table by the window. He looked from the window to me and gave me that look, the one he had given me when we first arrived at the safe house. I smiled.
"Ok, spill it," I said, "what is that look all about?" He laughed.
"Seriously, Kora? Maker, you are such a nosey pain in the ass!" he exclaimed, obviously mocking me. I took off my cloak and draped it over his head. He pulled it off, rolling it up and laughing. "What look would you be referring to, My Lady?" I plunked myself down on the bed, pulling off my boots.
"It's a look I've never seen on you before," I said, "it's almost… wistful." Then a thought dawned on me. "Garrett Wulff, did you miss me?" I grinned as a slight blush hinted around his cheek bones. "You did! That's what that look is! I can't believe it! Garrett Wulff realized he actually cares about someone other than himself. I should notify the chantry." I laughed as he threw my cloak at me.
"Blazes, woman, you are infuriating sometimes," he growled as there was a knock on the door. I felt Trudy's presence outside and rose to let her in.
"It's about time," she said, obviously struggling with the plates and such she was carrying. I grabbed a few and Garrett rushed over to help as well. "Here, put everything on the table and I'll get the rest." I laughed.
"Trudy, don't you think it's overkill?" I looked at all the plates. "Two loaves of bread, two plates of lamb stew, two plates covered in cookies and a pitcher of wine. You'll make me fat!" She huffed.
"It'd make you more like the rest of the nobility," she laughed as she walked out, coming back in with a pitcher of water and two wine glasses. "That's all of it. Enjoy!" She walked out and closed the door.
"I hope you brought your appetite," I said as I sat down. Garrett shook his head.
"We shall see, won't we?" he said as he sat down, took a napkin and draped it across his lap.
*****
We ate, drank and talked for hours, finally picking at the plates of cookies as we lay side by side on the still-made bed, the plates between us. Propping myself up on my elbow, I balanced my glass of wine by the rim. Holding it with only a finger, I watched the dark liquid coat the inside of the glass as I rolled it around. Then I remembered what Garrett had asked about Castillon.
"So the thing with Isabela and Castillon," I said as I took another drink from my glass, "that is the beginning of a whole other story line that takes place in Kirkwall. A looooong story line and one that you can NOT share with her, understood?" He smiled and nodded.
"I happen to have some time on my hands," he said. I smiled.
"Ok then. Basically she gets into trouble with Castillon and, in order to pay him back, she has to steal… something. When she does she attracts other people who want it to Kirkwall and they stay there, trying to find what it is she stole." I took another drink from my glass, hoping that was enough information. The look Garrett gave me told me it wasn't.
"A very vague synopsis," he said, "I have a question." I laughed.
"Just one?" I asked. He smiled, taking a swig of his wine.
"What does she do to get into trouble with Castillon?" I shrugged.
"I don't know how much more I can tell without fucking things up. Besides, I know you pretty damned well and if I tell you everything you may just go and swoop in to rescue her and that would REALLY fuck things up." I shook my head as I took another sip. "Nope, not gonna happen. Let her go and things will work themselves out." Garrett shook his head.
"Think about this," he pointed at me, "look at what you're doing right now. Your presence is improving our lot, correct?" He waited for my response which was me shaking my head.
"Oh no, I am NOT involving myself in another story line," I insisted as I sat up to fill my glass. "I have enough to deal with here in Ferelden. And there is also the fact that I would like to live my OWN life after the blight is defeated, thank you very much!" Emptying the pitcher, I lay back down on the bed and looked Garrett in the eye. "Don't you want things to go back to normal?" He looked into his glass as he swirled the wine around.
"Normal," he whispered, "not sure I know what that is." I shrugged.
"Maybe we will find out."
I said it without thinking it through and as it came out of my mouth I could feel the blush creep up my neck. Technically there was no 'we'. Plus 'we' may be dead when the blight ended or 'we' may end up with other people. 'We' was a dangerous word to use at this point in the game, no matter what my feelings for him were turning into. His noble status made him a possibility which was more than I could say for anyone else I pined for, but I took another sip and tried to change the subject.
"What did you mean when I asked you about why you went after Caden?" I asked. He took a sip of wine and raised an eyebrow at me. "You said simply that he was my brother. No explanation." He raised his eyebrows, understanding what I meant and swallowed, obviously nervous about something.
"I meant that he was your brother and I felt an obligation," he said. "Why? Wouldn't you have done the same in my place?"
"Yes, I suppose I would," I said, raising my glass then pausing. "Why did you give up the sword and shield?" I brought the glass the rest of the way to my lips. He looked at his glass, still swirling the wine.
"I would think that would be obvious," he said, never taking his eyes off the glass.
My eyes were drawn to his fingers, noticing how delicately they gripped the stem of the glass. They were long and slender but not too much so, as they were in perfect proportion to the size of his palm. I traced the lines of muscle from his wrist up his arm to his elbow that rested on a pillow. His bicep was covered by his black linen shirt but I could see places where the material was straining against the muscle and it was surprisingly distracting.
Remembering him in his youth, the bulging muscles and thick neck that conveyed brute force were replaced by something more subtle; seductively lean and yet so much more deadly than before, as the group we encountered on our way to the inn can attest. I smiled, bringing my glass up to my lips and playing with the thought of tackling him where he lay.
Then I remembered where we were and what needed to be done. The road ahead was a long one and would be hard won, not to mention how unfair it would be to expect such things from him knowing my heart would never be his. Blaming it on the wine I shook my head and brought myself back down to reality.
"Because of me," I said, putting my now empty glass on the table next to the bed. "You changed your entire training regimen because of me. Garrett, I really am sorry for everything. I wish I hadn't caused you such pain. I would take it all away if I could." I sat up and faced him, shaking my head.
"This again?" he asked. He sat up with his back to the headboard and crossed his legs. Holding out his arms, he beckoned me to him. "Come here, woman." I considered it, then shook my head.
"You don't have to do that," I said, "in fact I'd rather you didn't." I straightened my shoulders and rose from the bed, facing him. "We have a lot to accomplish and little enough time to do it, getting distracted will do no one any good, especially in a fight. Certain things are important, others are not." Garrett's face grew angry as he stood up on the opposite side of the bed from me.
"What is this, payback for my reaction to our kiss yesterday?" he demanded. "Next you'll be telling me we are expendable." He waited, holding my gaze. I could feel my pulse and breath quicken, the stress of arguing with him kicking it up. He laughed, bringing his hand to his forehead. "I cannot believe this."
"What do you want me to say?" I asked. "Things have been set into motion that will change the whole of Thedas and millions of people will be affected. You cannot tell me that millions of lives are outweighed by a few. No matter who the few are that is not true." He rolled his eyes, dropping his hands to his sides.
"You really do have a tendency toward the dramatic, love," he smirked as he looked at the floor. "I'm better off talking to that plate of cookies than I am you about this." He made his way over to the door.
Part of me wanted to let him go, thinking he would be better off the further away from me he was. But the other part of me knew that I needed his help and he needed mine. He was far too self-destructive to be left to his own devices and I needed the few people I trusted to get the slavers out of the Alienage, as well clean up Denerim's back alleys. I shook my head and stepped between him and the door.
"No, you don't get to do that." I put one hand on his chest and the other on the door. "Why did you even come to Denerim?"
"You know bloody well why I came here," he sneered, "although I'm second guessing my decision at this moment." The comment made me hesitate momentarily but I held my ground.
"It wasn't all about me and you know it." I lowered my hands, relatively sure he wasn't going to push past me and fly out the door. "You came here to find out what was going on and to see if you could help. Well, you are finding out there is a LOT going on and there are many things you can do to help. Why back out now?" I could feel my resolve fading. He was so angry, like I had never seen him before and I wasn't sure about the demon I was in the process of facing down. All I could do was hope that the Garrett I knew was still in there. He glared at me.
"So now it's come to this," he said. "I'll admit calling me a chicken when we were kids would definitely have worked. However now, things are different," he reached past me to take the door knob, turning it and opening the door. "I have to take care of myself, just like everyone else." I panicked, grabbing his hand and pushing the door shut.
"Don't leave me!" I shrieked.
I didn't know what came over me or what stopped him so effectively in his tracks. Whether it was it my voice, what I said or the volume I used, something seemed to snap him out of whatever mind set he was in because his look went from anger to shock. We stood there, his hand under mine, holding the door shut and stared at each other. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears, my body tensed to jump on him if it meant keeping him in that room. I felt his grip loosen as he pulled his hand away slowly.
"I… I'm sorry," he whispered, his eyes softening as he reached up to caress my cheek with his thumb. "Kora, I..." I shook my head, gripping his hand with mine.
"Just don't go," I whispered. "Please." He pulled me into his arms, kissing the side of my head before resting his cheek against it. I nuzzled into his hair that rested on his shoulder, my hands against his chest. Right then I realized just how much I needed him and it was more than just for back up.
So much in my life was stolen from me; my mother, my innocence, even the man I loved was out of my reach. Remembering when I left for Kinloch Hold, I felt as if I had nothing left to keep me grounded which was one reason why I decided to pledge myself to the order. But I learned very quickly there the value of friendship and how easily one could come to need another in their life.
I thought of Cullen, my best friend and constant companion while I was stationed there. We had taken our vows together, even went so far as getting matching tattoos of the sword of mercy the night before, each of us on our hip so no one would know. I remembered him teasing me about the way I walked the next day then, realizing what could have been inferred, turning red as a beet. I remembered how the night before I left that last time, when I was stolen from this world, how he asked me not to go.
I hadn't been feeling well and he was concerned that it would affect my performance in battle. He argued his case for hours before finally giving up, laughing about the fact that I was the most stubborn woman he knew before planting a kiss on my forehead and going to his bunk for the night.
I smiled at the memory as I stood there in Garrett's arms, knowing the reason I couldn't bear for Garrett to leave, why I needed him so desperately that I cried out the way I did. I needed him because of how much I cared for him, how much he had meant to me in the past and how much he meant to me since returning to Denerim. I was afraid to have him stolen from me again.
"I'm a fool," he whispered, interrupting my thought as his hand combed into my hair to massage my scalp.
"What?" I asked, looking up at his face. He looked down at me, his soft brown eyes holding mine.
"I'm a fool to think I could walk away from you again,' he said as he nudged my nose aside and took my lips into his.
"Knock, knock," Leliana sang from the other side of the door. I jumped, breaking the kiss and staring up at Garrett who rolled his eyes. Still in a daze, I dropped my hands to my sides. He released me and backed away to stand next to the foot of the bed. When I didn't move he motioned to the door. I snapped out of my confused state and turned around, opening it.
"I think the time has come," Leliana said as she breezed into my room, dressed in her leather armor and smiling. She stopped when she saw Garrett and gasped. "I have horrible timing, haven't I? I can come back later…" I closed the door and shook my head.
"Nonsense, what's up?" I asked as I sat down on the edge of the bed. Garrett sat next to me, looking at Leliana.
"You do seem rather animated, Leliana," he said with a smile. "What's got you all wound up?" She smiled wide.
"I was just down at the bar when three large men, one a Qunari like Sten, walked in," she whispered excitedly. "I watched them for a time, not sure if they were here looking for you, and saw one of them speaking to Trudy. When he stepped away I asked her about them and she said they were guards for some Orlesian woman that was staying in a hovel over by the chantry." Her eyes gleamed as she waited to see if I would make the connection. I smiled and stood up.
"I'll get my armor."
"So," I whispered as we stood outside the door to Marjolaine's hideout, "what's the plan or do we even have one?" Leliana smiled.
"As a good Andrastian I should allow her to live," she seemed to be pondering, "however she would not do the same for me, no matter what she says. As you said earlier, I would be looking over my shoulder the rest of my life. I will not go through that, nor will I put Solana through that. I think it is time to end this, permanently." I nodded.
"As long as you're sure," I stated and asked. She nodded and kicked down the door.
I heard a shriek come from the back room as we entered, keeping our guard up in case there were others still there. A mage came out of one of the side rooms and put a paralysis spell on me.
"Shit, Garrett!" I yelled, "Mage!"
I watched in my peripheral as Garrett lunged at the man dressed in Tevinter style robes, sinking both daggers into his chest then yanking them out. Blood splattered everywhere as the mage fell to the floor and I found myself free. Garrett then turned to Marjolaine and marked her for death.
"Garrett, wait," Leliana said as she stepped between them. Garrett smiled and bowed to her but held his daggers in wait. I secured my shield and adjusted my grip on my sword. She turned to Marjolaine. "Explain yourself." Marjolaine smiled seductively.
"Oh Leliana, how wonderful to see you," she began. Leliana held up her hand.
"Enough with the bull shit! I was no threat to you, why did you try to have me killed?" Leliana demanded. Marjolaine gave her an innocent look as she glided across the floor to her. I jumped between them, putting my sword across her neck.
"Make one more move toward her," I said in a low and menacing voice, "I dare you." She lifted her hands in surrender, backing away.
"Your friends are quite… loyal, Leliana. But they do not know you as well as they think." I smiled, pulling my sword down to point at her gut.
"I know about Leliana," I said, holding my tone, "and I know about you. Enough talk, what are we doing Lel?" I said, never taking my eyes off of Marjolaine. I knew she was a shifty rogue and was not going to give her an opening. Leliana put her hand on my shoulder so I relaxed my stance, taking a step back.
"I will deal with this," she said. I nodded and took another step back, giving her room.
"Well, it seems you have quite the following," Marjolaine's tone changed from seductive to angry. "but little do they know you will stab them in the back when they are not looking!" Leliana turned to her and smiled.
"If there is one thing I have learned about myself, Marjolaine," she purred, "it is that I am nothing like you." She stabbed both of her blades into Marjolaine's gut. Marjolaine gasped and hunched over, blood gurgling from her mouth. "If I stab anyone, it will not be in the back." Leliana then yanked them out and watched as Marjolaine fell to her knees then rested her forehead on the floor. The blood was pooling beneath her as she finally fell over onto her side, her hair and dress soaking it up. I put a hand on Leliana's shoulder and waited for her to respond.
She stared down at Marjolaine, her face stoic. Then she returned her daggers to their sheaths, her fingers twitching from their absence. I'd never killed for that reason, someone from my past that threatened me, so I had no idea what she was feeling. I looked at Garrett who looked at me, his face showing the same concern. Then I felt her hand on mine and looked back to see her bright blue eyes gleaming with tears. I took her into my arms.
"What can I do?" I asked. "Tell me and it is done." I felt her sigh.
"You're doing it."
After dealing with Marjolaine we headed back to the inn. The place was empty save Marjolaine's guards and a few others making their way past us out the door. It was late so Garrett and I locked the door behind us. Leliana went straight to her room so I let her be, making a mental note to check on her in the morning. We sat at the bar while Trudy cleaned up.
"Bourbon?" Garrett asked as he stood up, moving behind the bar. I smiled and nodded so he shook his head at me. "So predictable." I smiled up at him.
"Only to you," I winked at him as he put two glasses up on the bar. "Wow, those are some big glasses. It would seem as if you're trying to get me drunk." He smiled and winked as well.
"Only to you," he said as he poured three fingers in each glass. I laughed and took my glass, raising it to meet his. "To long life and love." I smiled warmly.
"Long life and love," I said as our glasses connected and we drank. I emptied my glass and put it back down on the bar. Garrett looked at it in shock as his was still half full. I smirked. "What's the matter? Getting drank under the table by a girl, are you?" He shook his head and drained his glass, filling both back up to the three finger mark again.
"Not today love," he said as he raised his glass. I laughed, shaking my head.
"Ok, but you will regret it when you wake," I said as I raised mine.
After the first two we paced ourselves, still matching each other drink for drink. I felt the bourbon's effects and knew when I stood up it was going to be interesting. By the sixth I had reached my limit and put my hand over my glass as he went to fill it.
"Oh no, you are not turning me into a puddle," I slurred slightly. He grinned.
"What's the matter?" he teased. "Getting drank under the table by a dagger-wielding rogue, are you?" I stood up and made my way around the bar. Coming nose to nose with him (while looking up at him, mind you), I poked him in the chest.
"Do you think I don't know what you're up to, Wulff?" I asked. Before he could respond I continued. "Did you think I forgot what happened in my room before Leliana showed up? I think there are some things that need to be discussed before you get me drunk and TRY to have your way with me." I gave a lock of his hair a tug and went back around the bar, grabbing a pitcher of water and two glasses. "Oh, and by the way. Drink and sex do not always mix." I smiled and started up the stairs to my room.
"Very presumptuous, aren't we My Lady?" he asked, still standing behind the bar. I laughed, turning to face him.
"You coming?"
The smile on his lips was the same one he had given me when we were kids and I first agreed to kiss him. An inviting smile that made warmth spread throughout my chest.
If I couldn't have Alistair, I wanted the next best thing. I wanted someone who would fill the gaping hole in my heart, or at least make an effort to. Someone who knew me almost as well as I knew myself. Someone I trusted with my life.
I wanted Garrett.