She couldn't wait to see Dean. Even though she was playing a game of cat and mouse with him not so long ago, it felt like she hadn't seen him in so long. She missed him a lot.
She knew how Dean was, how his brain worked, and it didn't surprise her that he was already taking blame for everything that happened in the past six months. She was going to make it her first priority to make sure that he knew that she didn't see him any differently than she had before he got turned.
He was Dean Winchester to her, that's all. She didn't even have to see him to know that she'd forgiven him completely. He wasn't being himself, so how could she fault him? If she or Sam had been turned, they probably would have been the same way.
When she got to his room, she stopped and took a deep breath. Just because she wanted to see him didn't mean he was ready for visitors. She quietly knocked and stood back a couple of steps. A few seconds later the door opened and Dean was on other side of it.
He looked at her for a moment, almost looking a little happy that she was there, but then his eyebrows pushed together. She took a moment to look into his eyes, his very green eyes, and thanked her lucky stars that they wouldn't be turning black ever again.
"Hey, Dean," she said, knowing that she'd have to make the first steps towards having a conversation.
His eyes narrowed on her for a moment, before his lips pursed together. Dani was confused. Sam made it seem like Dean wanted to see her. Was that a lie?
"What are you doing here? I thought you would have left, you know, after Sam told you how everything went." Dean almost sounded upset by that fact that Dani was standing in front of him, trying to talk to him. She shook her head at his words.
"I'm not going anywhere, not yet, at least. I wanted to come and see you."
"Why?"
"Because you're back, Dean. I wanted to come see my friend."
"Your friend?" he questioned with a laugh, letting his bitterness be known. "I seem like a friend to you?"
"You always have been before. You also have always been nice and offered to let me into your room."
Dean shook his head, looking exhausted. "Why do you even want to talk to me, to see me?"
"Because I feel like we need to clear the air."
Dean shrugged. "Clear the air? Okay, how do we do that?"
"We clear it by me saying that I forgive you for being a huge dick to me and for chasing me around the bunker. I don't even know why I would have to forgive you, you didn't do anything wrong in the first place, but you're Dean Winchester, so that means that you have to blame yourself, even for things that you didn't do."
"Dani-"
"I wasn't hurt, Dean. You had a moment in the kitchen to hurt me, but you didn't, you even let me get away."
"What if I-"
"What if? Really, you wanna play that game? Why? It doesn't matter right now. All that matters is that you are back and that you know that I don't hate you, that I don't see you differently. Sure, seeing you with black eyes was a little frightening, but like I said, I wasn't harmed, so how could I possibly hate you? It wasn't even the whole you, anyway, just the dark part of you."
"The dark part of me wanted to hurt you, Dani."
"But you didn't, Dean. You didn't hurt me at all. As for whatever else took place while you were out of Sam's grasp, well, I don't know what to tell you, you'll have to work through that at your own pace. I just want you to know that you and I… we are completely fine."
"Even after what I said to you?"
"That I was pathetic?"
He nodded, not willing to look directly at her.
"I know you wouldn't have said that, but part of you did, and while at the time it hurt, I realized later that you weren't exactly lying. I was being pathetic." Dean's looked up and shook his head, like he was going to disagree, but she didn't like him. "The truth was that I was pathetic, but I'm not going to be that way anymore, and I guess I actually owe you a thank you for making me realize that I needed to make a change."
"You've have to be kidding. Thank me? No, Dani, what I said was wrong, I should have never said it to you, especially when I could see how…" Dean stopped talking and then looked down.
"Could see what a mess I am? It's okay, you can say it. You wouldn't be lying."
"I was going to say that I could see that life hadn't been treating you well."
She grinned. "Well, you aren't wrong, but that doesn't matter. You said some stuff that affected me and now I'm going to be making some changes. That's a good thing, right?"
"I guess. I'm just upset that I was so callous towards you, towards everyone."
"I'll survive and so will they." She smiled. "So will you, you just need to take some time, you know?"
He nodded, but didn't say anything else on the matter. Dean backed into his room and walked over to his bed, tossing some items of clothing around. "So you and Sam are talking again, huh?"
"Yeah, thanks to you." She let out a small laugh. "He came out of nowhere and told me that I needed to help him."
"And you did, just like that?" Dean asked. "Last thing I heard concerning you was that you weren't checking in with other hunters. Thought something happened to you."
"I was just being stupid, but no surprise there, huh?" She smirked and shook her head.
"So since you're back, does that mean that you and Sam are-"
"We aren't going to get back together or anything, but we can have civil conversations now, so I guess that's a start."
"That's awesome."
Dani smiled a little at hearing the word "awesome" leave Dean's mouth. That was his favorite word to use and just hearing it, reminded her of her friend. She was glad to have him back.
"Yeah." She nodded before leaning against the doorjamb and watched Dean sort through his items. "Sam told me that you were already whining for food."
Dean laughed a little. "Like you wouldn't believe."
Dani giggled back. "Do you think Sam will remember the pie?"
She had never had such good food in what felt like her entire life. Mostly because she hadn't had real food in a long time. She mostly just snacked on things, like candy bars and chips that she would buy at gas stations. She hadn't even realized how much she missed fast food until the first onion ring entered her mouth.
After that first taste, she couldn't believe how she went so long without it. Her stomach growled and it was so loud that it caught the attention of the two other men sitting across the table from her. She blushed a little, but then decided that she couldn't be bothered and continued eating. Occasionally, she would look up and see Sam looking at her with an amused grin on his face.
She just hunched her shoulders and went back to eating. She made a mental note to never go so long without having onion rings and burgers ever again as her body thanked her for giving it what it had needed for so long.
Once every piece of food was gone in front of her, she looked over to see Dean eating none other than a piece of pie, a small smile rested on his face as he enjoyed himself. Dani smiled to herself and then looked over at Sam who was looking at her. She smiled to him before starting to clear the mess that she had made in front of her.
As she walked into the kitchen to throw away her garbage, she heard footsteps from behind her. She turned around and saw Sam, carrying some of his trash too. When she entered the kitchen she threw out her stuff.
"You seemed to enjoy your food," Sam commented after throwing his stuff away too.
"Yeah, I hadn't had food that great in a long time."
"Good." He smiled.
"Dean seemed to be enjoying his pie."
"When hasn't he?" Sam asked and then leaned against the counter behind him. "So, what now? What's your next step?"
Dani shrugged. "Well I know that I want to get back into the hunting game, not sure where to even start though, but I'll figure it out. I guess right now, the plan is to go find a room at a motel and start calling old contacts and I see what I can get into."
Sam nodded. "Yeah, Dean and I are probably going to take a break you know, just until he clears his head a little."
"That would be a good idea, although, I don't expect him to stay out of commission for too long."
"Yeah, trust me, I know, but we can't rush anything." he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "So, you don't think you should take a break, too?"
"A break from what? I've been on a break for far too long, Sam. It's time for me to start doing something with my life, besides wasting it."
"Well, don't you think you should take some baby steps, first?"
"I will. I just don't want to keep not doing anything, I need to start doing something, anything really."
Sam nodded, still looking like he wanted to disagree and took a deep breath. "Maybe you could stay here, while you figure it all out."
"Stay here?"
"Yeah, I mean, you know the benefits of staying here, right? Space, lots of books for researching purposes and more of the amazing food you just had."
Dani was all too aware of the professional benefits that came with living in the bunker, but she was more worried about staying in a close proximity to her ex.
"It wouldn't be weird for you, if I was here?"
He seemed to understand what she meant, but still shook his head. "No. Would it be weird for you?"
She didn't know how to answer that question. True, she had been able to be near him for the last 24 hours, but that hardly meant that she could live with him without there being any problems. She wanted to move on. She wanted to get her life back on track, but she wasn't sure if she should try to push it, by trying too many things at once.
"I don't know."
"We could try it out, you know, like a trial basis. If it becomes weird for either of us, we can deal with it then. Sounds reasonable, right?"
She wasn't sure what to say. She didn't want him to get the wrong idea if she told him she didn't want to stay because of him. She didn't want him to think that she wanted to avoid him now that Dean was back to his old self.
"Are you sure? I mean, Dean just got cured. Do you think now is the best time for there to be another person living here?"
"Dean won't care, Dani. He's used to you being here. It's the safest place for a hunter, so I don't think he'd want to kick you to the curb." Dani bit her lip and Sam sighed. "Look, this is your decision, I just want you to know that if you want it, there's a room here for you."
"I appreciate it, I really do, but I don't know. I feel like I might need to be on my own while I'm trying to get things back in order, you know. I think it would be best for now if I went at it alone for a bit." She knew that wasn't what Sam wanted to hear, when he put his head down and sighed, but he didn't argue with her about it. "But I wouldn't mind having a place to pop into from time to time, though. Would that be okay?" she asked, already knowing the answer.
Sam's eyes snapped to hers. "That's more than okay." he smirked. "Anytime you need a place, you got it." he smiled.
"Thanks." She gave him a tight smile. "So does that mean I can stay tonight?"
Sam let out a laugh. "Yeah, I think that would be alright."
"Good," she said and then quickly added, "but don't worry, I won't cook breakfast in the morning."
"I'm glad to hear that, but maybe I could be the one fixing the breakfast."
Dani nodded to herself. It felt good knowing that although she and Sam weren't back together, she hadn't lost him completely out of her life, like she once thought she had. If she were being honest with herself, she guessed she'd rather have him in her life as a friend, than not at all and he apparently felt the same considering the way he couldn't seem to stop smiling. "I won't object to that."
"Let's go break the news to Dean, shall we?"
She nodded and followed him out of the bunker. While on their way back to Dean, who was probably still eating every last bit of pie in front of him, Dani asked Sam about hooking her up with some numbers. When she quit hunting, she'd deleted most of her contacts and friends from her life.
She was going to get those numbers back and she was going to get her life back as well.
This is mostly wrapped up. I have an epilogue yet to post that I hope you will enjoy. Let me know what you think! Thanks for the reviews and follows. It has meant a lot to me!