Happy Monday! And to Judy who leaves me such nice reviews, since I can't message you back... Thank you so much!
"That's it, get that blighted nug humper!" Oghren hollered over the clashing of steel.
Alistair and I had taken Oghren up on his offer to train as Berserkers and it was going well… for me anyway. Alistair was backed into a corner, yet again, and holding up his shield to take the brunt of my attacks.
"Alright alright! I give!" he grunted as he tried to keep his own shield from bashing him in the head. My chest heaving, I stopped swinging and took a few steps back, giving him some room to stand up straight. "I think you've found your go-to style."
"You got no spirit boy," Oghren stepped between us and gave him a punch to the chest. "Your rage is what sustains you. Don't you have anything that puts your knickers in a twist?" Alistair looked up thoughtfully and shook his head.
"I don't think I'll be very good at this," he said and tried to walk past me. I bashed him in the side with my shield, eliciting a growl from him as he fell to the ground. "What was that for?"
"Piss you off, did I?" I asked with a smirk. Raising my sword to lift his chin I shook my head. "You're looking at this the wrong way. You see me, Kora, as your opponent and training partner when you should be seeing a darkspawn, a bandit, the Archdemon." I sheathed my sword and reached out my hand to help him up then gave him another lighter shove with my shield. "You have plenty of anger, Alistair, you just have to find your trigger. Get your head in the game, man!" He shook his head, giving me a glare of warning.
"Are you sure about this, Kora?" He asked. I smiled and nodded. "Fine, but I need to find something better than a darkspawn. What do you think about?" I laughed.
"Just about everything pisses me off but just now I was thinking about Anora and pounding her fucking head in with my bare fists until it was nothing but a gory mess." I shrugged, smiling up at him. "I am a sadistic woman, never a shortage of anger." Alistair took a step back in mock fear.
"Maybe I should leave you to train with Oghren all by your lonesome," he whispered. My eyes widened which brought a smirk to Alistair's lips. "Something that frightens you, good to know." I faked another shield bash and he jumped to avoid it, laughing. "Alright, let me think."
Oghren and I stood there watching and waiting for a few minutes as Alistair paced, deep in thought. Thinking back to the game I remembered the Landsmeet and how angry he was that Loghain was being considered to be made a Warden. The whole reason he was so angry was because of Duncan's death, a man he cared about like a Father. I finally lost my patience and looked down at Oghren who appeared to be sleeping standing up. Fighting the urge to give him a shove and watch him face-plant onto the dirt I stalked over to Alistair and grabbed his arm.
"How about this. You think about the one person in the world you can't live without. Now picture that person being brutally slain right in front of you. Your opponent is the murderer." I stood back and waited, watching his face as the emotions swept over him. Realizing his mind was absorbing the idea I smiled as I drew my sword and readied myself. The anger slowly took over his face and he raised his shield and sword.
"Let's do this."
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"You can get cleaned up in Caden's room," I said as we entered the estate to get changed for lunch. I stopped May in the hall and looked at Alistair. "Do you need anything?" Alistair shook his head.
"No, just a bath. I'll leave his practice gear in his room." He thumbed toward the breastplate he was wearing that he'd borrowed from Caden. I nodded and looked at May.
"Please assist with my bath and get another to assist the Commander." She nodded and hurried away.
"Damn boy, you really did get the hang of it after all," Oghren praised Alistair. "Almost took her down a few times. Very nice." For some reason I instantly felt dirty and, trying to get off the subject, gave Alistair a shove.
"Good job, BOY," I said as I took off running down the hall to my room. I felt him catch up to me before I could open the door so I squealed like a little girl as he swung me around and pinned me to it with his body, holding my wrists.
When our eyes met my blood turned to lava. The heat in his gaze, his breath on my face, his body pressed against mine… everything about the situation made my insides scream for him. We stood there panting, staring into the others' eyes, waiting for Maker knew what. Realizing how inappropriate the circumstances were I clenched my teeth and blinked a few times to try and snap out of it.
"You are a minx!" he whispered, nose to nose with me. Seeing no other way out I grinned wickedly and licked the end of his nose. He instantly released me and backed away, laughing and wiping his face. "What the hell?!" I laughed and opened my door.
"I grew up with two brothers! Gotcha to let me go, didn't I?" I flashed him a grin and slammed the door, laughing hysterically. As I leaned against it I felt warmth spread through my chest, the kind of warmth I hadn't felt since…
"Redcliffe…" I whispered to the empty room. Maybe there is hope for me after all, I thought as I stood, stripping off my armor.
Once the tub was full May helped me wash my hair. As her nails gently scrubbed my scalp I relaxed, my mind wandering to the upcoming meeting. Do I tell them what happens in the game? Is there anything I should do to prepare, just in case? I sighed, unsure as to how to proceed. Maybe evacuate the city? Where would I send them that would have enough room?
"Soldier's Peak," I whispered, an idea dawning on me as a grin spread across my face.
"Sorry Your Grace?" May asked as she rinsed the soap from my hair.
"I could evacuate everyone not able to fight from Denerim to Soldier's Peak," I thought out loud. "Maybe even Redcliffe citizens as well if Eamon wants. If we send supplies and coin with them I don't see how Levi could refuse. I will simply say that it's a possibility and to expect further word from me for confirmation, if he agrees. May, could you get me some parchment, quill and ink once you're done here?" I became excited with the idea of outmaneuvering the darkspawn and the Archdemon. "I have a letter to write."
After the bath, writing the letter and a change of clothes I was relatively pleased with myself so I made my way down to the entrance hall. On my way I gave May the letter and instruction to send it with Morrigan and to ask her gently to get there as quickly as possible. As I entered the hall I saw that Alistair was there with Caden and Duncan discussing the meeting.
"Dividing our forces is not the way to go," Alistair insisted as I approached. "We are far more effective and lethal if we stay together."
"I agree," Duncan said, "but apparently the Arl wants to leave some here then march to Redcliffe with the rest. He fears they will spread out as well and wants to keep the capital protected, especially considering Cailan may remain here." Alistair shook his head.
"Why would he… never mind, I'll ask him myself. I will deal with Eamon, just please speak up if necessary. I think we can all agree you are the expert in this situation." I beamed at Alistair with pride at the fact that he was speaking out against Eamon. Noticing I'd entered the room he gave me a puzzled look and I shook my head.
"Considering what we are up against that would be wise. Are we ready?" I asked. Caden nodded, motioning to the door. Alistair opened it and stepped back.
"Ladies first," he winked at me so I winked back and walked out to the waiting carriage.
The short ride from the estate to the palace was quiet and made excruciatingly long by all the people in the streets. Everyone was packing up their things and heading to the docks, trying to take a ship to anywhere but here. I looked out the small window and sighed, a knot in my gut forming as I thought of what those poor people would have to go through in places like Kirkwall, living in squalor if they were even allowed into the city. Taking a deep breath I pushed those thoughts aside to focus on the upcoming battle. Hopefully battle and not battles.
What to tell and what NOT to tell. At this stage of the game everything was really up in the air, the only thing to do was find the Archdemon and have a Warden kill it. However this was reality and with so many variables there was no telling where things would go from here. A part of me wanted to play dumb and let them make their own choices, remove myself from the equation so to speak. Another part of me wanted to divulge every bit of information so that they could make an informed decision. Then there was the part that thought everything I knew of the game was out the window at this point. I laughed to myself, drawing Caden's attention.
"Oh no," he smiled, "she's laughing. That is NEVER a good sign. What did you do now?" Catching his hint to try and lighten the mood I lifted my eyebrows and shrugged.
"Who, me?" I replied, "I've done nothing. Lately. In the last five minutes anyway." I smirked and turned to Alistair who picked up on our intent and glared at me playfully, wiping his nose for show.
"She's a sneaky one," he sneered and turned to Caden. "I don't know how you survived your childhood without catching some filthy disease from her." Caden burst into laughter.
"She licked your nose, didn't she?" He blurted between gasps of air. "I should have warned you, never back Kora into a corner." Duncan rolled his eyes as Caden covered his mouth to stifle his laughter. Alistair and I joined him, both staring at Duncan who eventually relented, the lot of us laughing the rest of the way to the palace.
When we walked into the dining hall I caught Cailan's eye. He then promptly ended his conversation with Gallagher Wulff and made his way over to me. I curtsied and he bowed but then grabbed me up into his arms. I giggled, hugging him tight.
"Get your hugs in while you can, Your Majesty," I whispered into his ear. "Soon you will have to behave yourself." I felt him laugh as he pulled back to look at my face.
"You think I could behave myself around you?" he whispered back, giving me a devilish grin. I pushed him away and glared, getting another laugh from him. Duncan took my elbow to get my attention and nodded to Cailan.
"Your Majesty," he said, keeping his voice low, "would you mind lending me a private room? There are a few details I'd like to discuss with the Arlessa." Cailan nodded.
"Of course, Alistair," he turned to face his brother. "If you could show them upstairs to my study?"
Alistair lent me his arm and lead us from the room toward the personal quarters in the castle. As we walked down the hall my mind was racing as to what was so urgent. Did something happen? Was the Archdemon on its way here already? I tried to recall everything I had told him to ensure we had all the information necessary to prepare. As Alistair opened the door to the large office Duncan entered. Alistair motioned for me to enter but I stopped dead, looking from Alistair to the doorway.
"You're coming too, right?" I whispered. He stifled a laugh.
"You're acting like an eight year old about to get handed down their punishment," he said as he took my arm and pulled me into the room with him. When he shut the door behind us I saw Duncan standing by the window looking out on the city. With his back to us I couldn't see his expression but his body language spoke volumes.
He was rigid as if standing at attention in military fashion. With his hands clasped behind his back you could see the muscles in his arms and shoulders straining against the leather armor he wore. His black hair with streaks of gray was pulled back in its usual pony tail but I could have sworn the streaks were larger than before Ostagar. I reached out with my mind and realized I was right to be concerned; the tension was pouring off of him in oceanic waves. My heart sped up.
"Warden Commander," I said, "is everything alright?" He turned to face me and nodded.
"Of course, Your Grace. I only wanted to discuss some of the details of the upcoming battle with you before we began the formal meeting." He motioned for Alistair and I to sit.
"Commander, before we begin I would like to point out that with so many details have already changed, I don't know how much insight, if any, I will be able to provide. I can tell you what happened in the book but there is no way of knowing what will happen in reality." I glanced at Alistair and continued. "Simply put, the armies march to Redcliffe but the Archdemon attacks Denerim. The armies go back, a Warden grounds the dragon at the top of Fort Drakon and finally a Warden kills it."
"How did they manage to ground the dragon?" Alistair asked. I took a deep breath, knowing that Riordan and Duncan went through their joining together. No matter how distant he would like his people to believe he is, Duncan is a compassionate man who cares for all in his charge.
"Riordan jumps from a tower to get on the dragon's back but is thrown. He stabs a dagger into the wing in an attempt to hold on but…" I paused, looking at Duncan. He nodded.
"The wing was torn so it could not fly away," Duncan finished without the gory details. I nodded.
"So all we have to do is sit here and wait," Alistair said, "It will come to us."
"It's not that simple," I said. "The armies marched to Redcliffe because the scouts had reported the bulk of the horde was marching in that direction. By the time it was discovered their direction had changed the armies were already at Redcliffe which was also under attack." I shook my head. "I cannot stress how little of the dark spawn's side of things I am aware of. I have no idea why they split up, why they changed directions. It could have been deception on the Archdemon's part, trying to draw the armies away from Denerim, or it could have been the Archdemon sensed the only Grey Wardens in Ferelden were headed to Redcliffe so it changed course. I just don't know."
"Then we split our forces after all," Alistair said, "we have enough Wardens to cover both places. Denerim and Redcliffe need to be protected." I shook my head.
"And what if the Archdemon senses the Wardens in two different places then picks a third target?" I sat on the edge of my chair and looked back and forth between the two. "I honestly believe we have only one option. Send all the Wardens to Redcliffe."
"What? No. We cannot leave Denerim unprotected, especially if Cailan is staying here," Alistair insisted.
"Then take Cailan with you," I offered, "I have the city guard, my personal guard and the Tevinter guard. If you can leave me about 20 mages, we will be able to hold off the horde until you get back." Alistair looked thoughtful then, as what I said sank in, gave me a determined glare.
"You? Leave you with mages? Kora, you can't be seriously considering staying behind." His voice faded at the end of the sentence and he sighed. "Of course you are. My answer is no, Cailan will not be staying and you are not staying." I smiled softly, knowing his motivation was anything but strategic.
"Are you going to make me pull rank?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. He sat up on the edge of his chair and leaned on the arm closest to me.
"I will tie you up and throw you over my horse, YOUR GRACE, if you try to stay." His tone was forceful, protective, and aggressive which involuntarily made my body shudder. As inappropriate as it was, I could feel my core temperature rising. I cleared my throat in an attempt to get myself together.
"I've already laid the groundwork," I explained as I turned to Duncan. "I sent word with Morrigan to Levi Dryden asking for his assistance, telling him of my plan to evacuate those unable to fight and send them his way, possibly some from Redcliffe as well. I should hear back sometime today. If he agrees to help us I will send along coin and supplies to the peak to wait out the battle. Maker, I hope it's only one battle." I shook my head and looked at the floor.
"Alistair, her plan has merit," Duncan said as he crossed to room to stand before us. "The darkspawn can sense Wardens, not ordinary people. If the Wardens go to Redcliffe the threat will be gone which may encourage the Archdemon to act on Denerim, it being the preferred target to suit our needs due to its proximity to the peak. Those being evacuated can march with the army to the peak and once there, the army can move on to Redcliffe. At least it will be a controlled battle, to some degree." He paused thoughtfully and tugged at his beard. "Morrigan can take crow form to keep an eye on the horde as well, reporting back their movements. Let's present the plan to the king and see what his thoughts are." Alistair groaned.
"Another stubborn noble, how am I going to convince him to leave if you're staying?" He practically growled at me while rolling his eyes. I reached out and squeezed his hand.
"If he is resistant I will take care of it," I said with a wink. Alistair laughed.
"I knew you were going to say that," he said as he stood, stretching his back then laughing. "One of these days you will not win, Your Grace." I winked at him.
"Not in this lifetime, dearest."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
As we entered the dining hall yet again Alistair led me to the chair next to his. I sat and smiled at him, giving him a playful wink. He narrowed his eyes at me then smiled back, giving my hand a squeeze under the table and looking away. As I squeezed back I looked around the room.
You could tell from the seating arrangements who despised who. Gallagher sat across from me, Alfstanna next to me but across from Ceorlic, so forth and so on. With Alistair to his right and Duncan to his left Cailan cleared his throat. I managed to avoid rolling my eyes when I caught Gallagher glaring at me in my peripheral.
"Thank you everyone for coming. As you all know we are here to develop a strategy for fighting and hopefully defeating the blight. With that said I would like to turn things over to Duncan, Warden Commander of Ferelden." Cailan looked to Duncan who nodded and faced the room.
"There are many things we need to discuss today but first and foremost I need everyone in this room to understand something. The killing blow to the Archdemon must, and I cannot stress enough, must be delivered by a Warden. I cannot go into detail but if a Warden does not strike the killing blow the Blight will not be ended, only delayed. With that said we have formulated a plan of attack. Please save your comments and questions for the end.
"All of the Wardens will march with the King and the army to Redcliffe. Our scouts have confirmed the bulk of the horde seems to be heading in that direction. Once there we will re-assess our situation and plan accordingly.
"The City Guard, the Arlessa's personal guard, the Tevinter Guard and 20 battle mages shall stay here under the command of Arlessa Kora. We have reason to believe the Archdemon may be splitting its forces to attack both cities so this is as a precaution.
"I have also sent word to the Orlesian Wardens and will advise them of our final plan after we adjourn this meeting. Once I do that they will march with 1,000 chevaliers to wherever they are needed."
My heart leapt up into my throat, so much so that I could taste bile. Why didn't I think of that? Why didn't I remember he had sent word to the Orlesian Wardens before Ostagar? I took a breath to protest but Ceorlic beat me to it.
"Stop right there, Warden Commander," he insisted, "you expect us to open our borders to Chevaliers? I strongly disapprove!" He looked at Cailan. "This is exactly what Loghain was afraid of! What is to stop them from staying and taking over after the battle, when Ferelden is at its weakest?"
"Ceorlic, you will know your place," Cailan asserted, pointing a finger at him. "Speak with respect or be silent, am I clear?" Ceorlic mumbled his apologies and lowered his head.
"Your Majesty," I squeaked out, then cleared my throat. "Your Majesty, Commander, I must also express my reluctance. I do not agree that allowing Chevaliers to cross our borders when we are in such a state of vulnerability is wise." Cailan looked surprised as he faced me.
"What are your reasons, Your Grace?" He asked. I looked around the room and decided that eventually everything would be out in the open anyway. If I was going to be known as the crazy noble, it may as well start now.
"My sources inside the Empire claim that Orlais is becoming increasingly unstable and most of the nobility thinks it would be grand to get their old province back. While in a weakened state Ferelden is ripe for the picking. Warden Commander," I looked to Duncan, "I know you trust the Orlesian Wardens but Ferelden is still within a generation of occupation by Orlais. If we haven't forgotten do you honestly think they have?" I pleaded, hoping he would see the logic in my words.
"Please understand if I thought they could be trusted I would have no issue with them crossing our borders. However I do not and I must insist the Chevaliers be left behind. If the Wardens will not travel without them, so be it. We do not need their help so much that we would welcome a threat to our freedom, a freedom that our people fought and died for." I lifted my chin and sat back, praying silently to the Maker Duncan would relent.
"Well said," Eamon piped up from the other end of the table. "I have to say, Your Majesty, I agree with Arlessa Kora."
"As do I, Your Majesty," Alfstanna said, placing a hand on mine. Realizing I was shaking I smiled at her gratefully. Wulff huffed across from me.
"I third that, Your Majesty." He looked like it made him want to vomit to agree with me, so much so that I had to force my smile to a minimum, unable to stifle it completely.
One after another, all the Teyrns, Arls and Banns sided with me, never once questioning my 'sources'. I knew the question would come eventually but I was grateful it wasn't today. When finally everyone had their say Cailan sat back, lacing his fingers together in front of him and looking at Duncan.
"Warden Commander, I hope you do not see this as a lack of faith in your abilities or that of the Grey Wardens in general," he said as he waved a hand around the room, "but the leaders of the provinces of my country have spoken and I have to say, Arlessa Kora gives a compelling argument."
"As this is your country, Your Majesty, we will abide by your wishes. I will inform the Wardens and keep you updated on their status." Duncan glanced at me and nodded. "I have to say after hearing another side I agree with Her Grace as well." I smiled.
"So, about the rest of the plan," Alistair said as he looked around the room, "any questions or concerns?" I looked around the room waiting for someone to speak out against me leading the army in Denerim.
No one spoke. No one gave me a disappointed frown or even a smirk. Even Wulff's face was stoic, shocking me. I was glad the debate was over but the reality of what was going to happen made panic begin to gather in my heart. I wasn't just going to stay in Denerim without any Wardens to help.
I was going to lead.
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"You are quiet," Cailan said as he reached over to put his hand on mine. "I know we have a lot going on but can you not let it go for one evening?" I laughed, pushing the food on my plate around with my fork.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I am trying." I put the fork down and sat up straight, smiling at him as best I could. "I still haven't heard back from Morrigan about Soldier's Peak. Can't imagine what's taking so long."
"I took a side trip to check on our foes," I heard a voice say from the window. Cailan and I turned to see Morrigan mid-transformation. I smiled with relief as she sauntered toward the table. "The Archdemon and the horde are indeed on their way to Redcliffe but in fewer numbers than I suspected. I decided to take a look around and found another large group hovering just outside the Brecilian Forest, something your scouts must have missed." She looked disapprovingly at Cailan who bristled at her words. I squeezed his hand and smiled at Morrigan.
"Probably the group that will come here," I said. "What did Levi have to say, Morrigan?" She smirked.
"He agreed, although he asked they bring more coin than supplies." I smiled, shaking my head.
"Ever the merchant. Good, I will let Eamon know on my way back to the estate. Morrigan, thank you. I truly appreciate you playing the messenger for me. I know it is well beneath your capabilities." I nodded to her and she nodded back, albeit a bit surprised.
"I… thank you. For acknowledging that fact. Let me know if you have any further need of me, I will take my leave." She morphed back into a crow and flew out the window she came in. I turned to Cailan, grinning ear to ear.
"The plan is in motion," I whispered as I pushed away from the table. He stood as well.
"You're leaving?" he asked, apparently disappointed. I felt guilty for a moment but realized that with evacuations time was of the essence.
"I need to tell Eamon and get the word out for everyone to get ready." I pushed a stray hair behind his ear and gave the lobe a little tug. "I'm sorry, the dinner looked wonderful. I'm just not … here. My mind is all over the place and you deserve my full attention." I moved away from the table and then heard someone else enter the room. Turning as I was looking up, I tripped on the hem of my dress. The new arrival caught me gracefully is his arms.
"What in Thedas would you do without me?" Alistair smiled down at me as he lifted me up to standing. I laughed.
"I've really no idea," I responded, looking between the two men. "What are you doing here?" I asked then looked back at Cailan, who had a suspicious look in his eye. I sneered, sensing he was up to something that neither Alistair nor I were privy to. "Cailan?" He smiled larger than usual.
"I actually have to go to Eamon's anyway, quick errand, I will let him know what Levi said and send word to your estate to begin preparations for the evacuation. You two enjoy the meal, I'll have the staff bring out another plate," he rambled as he made his way out of the dining room. "Enjoy!" And he was gone. I looked up at Alistair who still had his arms around me from catching me. He smiled and shrugged.
"Well, I won't let a perfectly good meal go to waste," he said as he pulled out my chair for me then sat down. I laughed.
"Nothing unusual there." He gave me a playful sneer.
"After the nose-licking incident I'd think you would be on your best behavior, Your Grace," he said as a servant brought him another plate, taking Cailan's away. I laughed.
"I think you know better than that, Commander." I took a bite of the pork but realized it was cold from my letting it sit there. The servant must have seen my face because she grabbed the plate with a nod and headed back to the kitchens. "I have a strange question. Do you think Cailan planned to get you and I in the same room this evening?" I watched his face as he avoided my eyes, concentrating on his meal.
"I don't know what you mean," he said between bites. I could feel his pulse elevate and knew he was lying. Plus the fact that a slight blush was creeping up his neck. The man cannot lie to save his life, I thought, but I'll play along. The servant brought me another plate and left the room.
"Hm, I wonder what his motivation would be?" I continued as I picked at my food, watching his face. "Obviously to get us to be alone together, but why?" He stopped for a moment and then swallowed hard. Well then, I thought, he is aware of the intent after all. I leaned forward and rested my chin in my hand, staring at him intently. "Alistair?"
"Hm?" He barely looked up from his plate. I noticed he was running out of food so he wouldn't be able to use it as a distraction for long. I just smiled and waited, focusing all my attention on his eyes.
Finally he finished, looked up at me and our eyes locked. He held my gaze for a minute or two, giving me the opportunity to stare into those bourbon eyes like I used to. I felt that familiar warmth start to build in my chest when he wiped his mouth with his napkin and pushed his plate away.
"Fine, I'll get right to it then, if it makes you happy," he said as he dropped the napkin on his plate, feigning displeasure. His eyes looked disturbed, as if whatever the issue was it would be difficult for him. I became worried and placed my hand on his.
"Hey," I whispered, "whatever it is it can't be all that bad. You can talk to me about anything, I hope you know that." I watched and waited as his pulse raced ever faster and his blush took over. I squeezed his hand and he took a deep breath.
"I wanted this to be different," he said, looking down at his empty plate, "special. But with everything going on I don't see how that is possible." He shook his head and took a deep breath. "Cailan and Eamon are concerned that once I'm made Teyrn there will be… squabbling." He looked up at me, uncertainty and fear in his eyes.
"Squabbling… over you?" I asked. He nodded. "I can see why they would be concerned, you are young and handsome as well as the King's brother. The female nobility will be falling all over themselves," I giggled, trying to stifle the jealousy as I gave his hand another squeeze. "Are you nervous about it?" He laughed, finally releasing the tension he was holding in his chest.
"Crazy women pawing at me and being paraded around like a princess? No," he said, glancing at the window then back at me. "I may even ask to borrow that green dress of yours." I smiled and shook my head.
"Oh no, it wasn't good enough for you yesterday, it's not good enough for you now." I remembered Neria and became concerned. "Speaking of women in your life, I've been meaning to ask you about Neria." His smile faded as he sat back in his chair.
"Things did not end well," he said, shaking his head. "She was understandably upset, said some horrible things then… well, she attacked me." I gasped.
"What do you mean she attacked you?" I asked.
"She slit her wrist and sent me flying," he replied, sorrow filling his eyes. "I betrayed her trust, Kora. I upset her so much that she resorted to blood magic. Maker," he whispered as he scrubbed his face with his hands. I felt my anger flare up.
"Oh no, you can not take responsibility for her actions, Alistair," I insisted. "Don't you dare. She drew the knife, not you."
"And that wasn't the worst of it," he said, putting up a hand to silence me. "Knight Commander Greagoir and First Enchanter Irving had arrived from the circle and were standing right there, saw the whole thing happen." He shook his head. "I couldn't have stopped them even if I was conscious." I felt my heart clench as his face confirmed my suspicion.
"They… he…" I couldn't say it, picturing Greagoir throwing out a smite then drawing his blade to kill the tiny elven mage. He nodded and gulped. Taking his hand I brought it to my chest and squeezed. "Alistair, I am so sorry."
His face went from tormented to compassionate as he took my hand in both of his.
"I'm not the only one whose lost someone. How are you?" he asked, genuinely concerned. I knew he was trying to get off the subject but I felt my chest tighten up at the thought of Garrett.
"I was hurt," I said, "but his actions from the very beginning have made me realize that what I thought we had was never real. It was built on the lies that fell from his lips." I clenched my teeth. "He took advantage of our previous relationship. Granted it was just as much my fault, I should have been more guarded with my affections, but he saw an opening and took it." I pulled my hand free from his grasp and balled it into a fist. "In time I'm sure I will let it go but right now it still makes me angry." His expression gave away his worry for me so I gave him a small smile and cupped his cheek with my free hand.
"Don't worry about me," I whispered, "As long as I have you by my side I know I will be fine." He smiled, turning his head to kiss my palm softly, intimately, and then gently pushing his cheek into it.
I ran my thumb across his cheek and gave him my warmest smile in return, savoring the closeness I had been craving for so long. It's been at least two months since I have been this close to him, I thought, maybe I should say it. Maybe I should tell him that I never loved Garrett, that it was always he alone who held my heart in the palm of his hand. Just his mere presence in the room not only calmed me but made me feel… complete.
His eyes closed, exposing the contentment he was feeling. It warmed my heart, making me wish I had never met Garrett at the gate that day. No matter what we would have faced I would have gladly passed him by. That man came damned close to destroying my faith in everything and everyone with a few strategically placed lies. And yet here was Alistair, someone I had met face to face only months ago, restoring it. Breaking the silence, he sighed with contentment.
"Marry me."
My heart almost choked me as it jumped into my throat, the words echoing in my ears. I couldn't help the look of utter shock that took over my face as he opened his eyes to look into mine. His expression became concerned and then that familiar fear crept back in.
"If you don't want to or think it's a bad idea, I completely understand," he said as he pulled away and laughed nervously. "It's not like, well, you know. I kind of sprung this on you and it wasn't planned or talked about. I don't want you to think I'm pressuring you, or anyone is, because they're not. I wouldn't let them. It just… came up in conversation that they thought you would be a good match and that, well, if I was willing, which I would be if you were…" Listening to him ramble on like that reminded me of the game when he would be so awkward and adorable. I felt a giggle bubble up so I covered my mouth which made him stop mid sentence and sigh, a defeated look on his face. "I had a feeling this was how it would play out." He stood, as did I, and I grabbed his hand.
"You realize you monopolized the entire conversation just then, right?" I asked, grinning. His blush deepened as he looked down at his feet. I sighed, realizing this was something we had to work out right then and there if we were going to maintain any kind of relationship, married or not. Not going anywhere tonight, I thought. I lifted his chin to look him in the eye. "Can we sit down and talk about this?" He nodded and returned to his chair, his body language screaming his acceptance of defeat. He was convinced I had already made up my mind. I sat and crossed my legs, still holding on to his hand.
"I love you Alistair."
I let him absorb the admission, watching his facial expression carefully. When he realized what I had said his eyes snapped up to meet mine, seemingly searching for a hint of what I was thinking.
I was still in pain, Garrett's betrayal fresh in my mind and in my heart, but what I felt for Alistair was separate and beyond a doubt real. I loved him, trusted him and wanted him to be happy, no matter who he was with; none of which I could say about Garrett. He squeezed my hand, reading me like a book.
"And I love you," he said cautiously, "but you have doubts." I nodded.
"I am not willing to give up my Arling," I said. "How do you feel about that?" He smiled.
"I knew you would say that and I told them as much," he said. "Cailan suggested my giving up the Teyrnir and becoming the Arl of Denerim." He waited, gauging my reaction. I raised an eyebrow at him.
"You would give up a Teyrnir to be an Arl?" I asked, not believing what I was hearing. He laughed.
"You forget, Your Grace, that I didn't want the Teyrnir to begin with. I only accepted because my brother asked me to. And since when have you known me to crave power?" He glared at me, daring me to respond. I raised my hands in surrender and shook my head.
"Point taken." I lowered my hands. "So you have thought this through, then?" He nodded.
"I have, but just to be clear marriage was not a priority to me," he said as he raised his hand. "That is, not until my brother and Eamon started scaring me with stories of Cailan's younger days when the nobles threw their daughters at him, hoping for a match. Maker, are all women mad for power? Present company excluded, of course."
He gave me a lazy smile, that same smile from the docks at Redcliffe that looked like it belonged on a magazine cover. Warmth spread throughout my body as I remembered that day. The day of the kiss that was more embarrassing than romantic and the awkwardness that followed. And then the night they left to meet Loghain's men on the road. My shock and delight when he caught my lips in his, making me forget the world around us and just feeling, for what I thought was the first time, what it was like to kiss the man I loved. It was my first time, I realized as I came back to reality and smiled at him.
"When you look at me like that it makes me… remember." I rested my elbow on the table and my chin in my hand, biting my lip and holding my smile. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table as well.
"Remember what, Your Grace?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips. I laughed, feeling my body relax even more. He had such an effect on me it was stunning.
"Redcliffe." I bit my lip again, waiting for him to respond. He grinned.
"Yeah," he whispered, "good times there. Simpler. For a little while anyway." He shrugged and what Neria said about him running away came to mind.
"Did you try to leave?" I asked. "I mean, before you realized I was already gone were you going to leave?" At first he seemed shocked then he smirked.
"You do find out everything, don't you," he asked as he moved his chair closer to mine. "Yes, I was going to leave. Thought it would be easier than staying, watching you as you walked around Redcliffe, your silky blonde hair flowing down your back as your hips swung side to side. Maker, I think I'll stop now." He rubbed his eyes.
"Where were you going to go?" I persisted. "Did you at least have a plan?" He laughed.
"Of course not, did I ever appear to have a plan?" he laughed as he shook his head. "When it came to you, Your Grace, I was lost. Always. To this day you drive me insane." He clamped his mouth shut but it was too late, the admission was out there. I laughed.
"Cat's out of the bag now, dearest," I cooed as I reached over and ran my finger tips across the back of his hand. I couldn't resist teasing him so I gazed at him seductively. "So the logical reasons for your proposal are just excuses to get into my bed, is that it?" He cleared his throat and sat up straight.
"No, of course not," he insisted as he cleared his throat again. "Don't be silly. Not that I don't have feelings for you, I do, but they aren't the… wait, feelings as in I care for you, not feel feelings, you know…" I put my hand over his mouth and giggled.
"You are too easy," I whispered as I took my hand away from his lips. He glared at me as he stood, moving to stand between my chair and the table, crossing his arms.
"I'll work on that," he said, looking down at me with a wicked grin.
I sat back in my chair and smiled up at him. My heart thumped ever louder in my chest the longer I stared into those eyes and all I could think about was where the blood was in such a rush to get to. Maker, I thought, I am weak. He could try to take me right now, on the table even, and I would relent happily. It's the eyes, those bourbon-brown eyes, has to be. I bit my lip and remembered what we were supposed to be discussing.
"So about this proposal," I drawled out, "you do realize that you aren't nobility yet so technically I cannot accept, even if I was inclined to." He huffed.
"So a hypothetical then," he said as he uncrossed his arms and leaned his palms on the table's edge. "When I do become Teyrn of Gwaren would you marry me?" I shrugged.
"Would I? I don't know," I raised my eyebrows and batted my eyelashes innocently. "Have you asked the male member of my family for his permission?" I smiled.
"Caden?" he asked. "That's true, I should ask him first. Never mind, then. I'll see you tomorrow, eh?" he flashed me a toothy grin and walked out of the room. I burst into laughter.
"Alistair! Get your ass back in here!" I demanded, still laughing. He came back in and grabbed my hand, dragging me out of the chair and leading me out of the room. "Where are we going?"
"You'll see," he smiled as he led me into the private wing of the palace. He stopped and opened a door leading to what looked like a bedroom and motioned for me to enter. I gave him a suspicious look as I slowly walked past him and into the room. He followed and shut the door. "More private, when I walked into the hall I caught two serving girls listening in." I laughed.
"They all do it, they're probably outside the window now," I said as I sat in a chair by the fire place that appeared to be freshly tended. "So seriously, I want to get everything out on the table now to avoid an issues later. Thoughts?" He sat in the chair next to mine.
"Well… aside from the Arl part my only concern was that you were still, you know, having trouble dealing with your break from Garrett. Are you?" It was a valid question but I wanted to give it sufficient thought and explanation.
"This isn't a yes or no answer," I began. "It was complicated and my feelings about it are as well. I was sad at first, hurt that he would lie to me but devastated that he would go along with his father's scheme to intentionally hurt me. After the hurting part came the angry part, which is where I am now. I think I'm getting past it and after that I think acceptance will set in." I shrugged and he nodded.
"Alright, that's as honest as I could ask for." He looked at the fire. "How about you, do you have any reservations?"
"I'm afraid you're only doing this because your brother and his uncle suggested it," I replied. "I don't want to marry you if the only reason you thought to ask me was those two." I wrinkled up my nose which made Alistair laugh.
"Nothing like going for the throat, Your Grace," he said as he pretended to choke. "I have to admit they gave me the guts to do it but…" He took my hand and looked me dead in the eye. "I can't say I'd never thought about it.
"The thought of marrying you is… slightly intimidating. The thought of asking you? Downright frightening. So since I've gotten past the frightening part I think it will be smooth sailing from here." His smile made me giggle.
"Ok, I guess that's an answer," I laughed. "Your turn."
"Hmm… how do you feel about children?" His face turned serious. "You know it may not be possible…" I put a finger to his lips and smiled.
"I am aware there is a slimmer chance," I admitted, "but I am willing to work extra hard to see if it's possible if you are." I gave him a grin and a wink, making his blush return. "Good to know." He grabbed the collar of his shirt to pull on it, loosening it.
"Evil woman," he mumbled, glancing at the fire then back to me. "Your turn."
I knew I had to ask, it was something that was obviously fresh in his mind and wore on his heart. She meant something to him and now she was dead. It had to be difficult and could be a stumbling block depending on how he resolved it internally.
"I don't think there is a delicate way to ask this," I said, "so I will just say it. How are you handling the loss of Neria?" I held my breath, preparing for the worst.
His face went blank as he stared at me. I could see the gears turning in his head but had no indication as to what was running through it. There was a lot of anxiety growing inside him and I almost wished I hadn't said anything. However I had to ask, had to know. He needed to know too.
"Not well," he finally said after a few moments of silence. His face softened as his eyes glistened. "I cared for her. I wasn't in love with her but... she deserved better." I waited but nothing more left his lips, just ragged breaths trying to tamp down the tears that threatened to fall. I gave up and reached over to take his hand.
"Alistair…" I whispered, trying to encourage him to continue. He just shook his head and wiped his eyes with his free hand. I felt helpless, unsure what to do or what to say, if anything.
I found myself standing next to him, pulling him to his feet and into my arms. I wrapped one arm around his neck and the other around his waist, holding him close. Burying my face into his neck I planted kisses, nuzzling into him to try to be of some comfort. His arms came slowly around me, one hand at the small of my back, the other tangling fingers into my hair, and he pulled my head back to look up at him.
"As long as I have you by my side," he whispered, "I know I will be fine."
Our lips found each other and my heart exploded. Whimpering, I grasped at his body in an attempt to get him closer as his chest rumbled, his hands roaming. My fingers found the hem of his shirt and pulled it up over his head, breaking our kiss for just a moment, and then tossed it to the floor. The feeling of his toned muscles under my hands was almost too much, forcing a desperate moan from my throat.
Alistair lifted me up and carried me over to the bed, lying me down on it and resting himself next to me. I turned to face him and pulled him into another kiss. He groaned, wrapping his arms around me roughly while we attempted to devour each other. He slowed the kiss then broke it, looking deep into my eyes.
"Kora," he whispered, "I love you." I touched his cheek.
"I love you," I replied. He smiled, making my heart soar.
"I want everything with you to be perfect," he said as he took a lock of my hair between his fingers. I smiled.
"Everything with us," I corrected, "is always perfect." I lifted my head up to take his lips with mine, slowly at first then pulling him in deeper until we were drowning in one another.
Until we were free.