Sweating, I threw the covers off and opened my eyes. Still dark, I thought, and reached over to the other side of the bed. There was a pillow but no Alistair. I bolted upright and looked around, afraid that he had already returned to his room. I relaxed when I saw him, facing me in one of the sling back chairs by the fire. He looked serene, one leg across the other, leaning on his elbow and just watching me.
"Hi," he whispered, the firelight radiating from behind him. I smiled, pulling the blankets up and around me as I sat cross legged on the bed.
"Hi." I patted the bed in front of me. Slowly, he got up out of the chair and made his way over. He lay across the bed, his head cradled in my lap. I combed my fingers through his hair and leaned down to kiss his forehead. "I was hoping for some time like this."
"Me too," he said, "just didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful." I shook my head.
"Only because you are here with me," I said as my hands made their way down to his cheeks and along his jaw. His chest rumbled in response and I smiled. "My love."
"My heart," he whispered, tucking a hair that was hanging in my face behind my ear.
We sat there for some time looking into each other's eyes. I soaked in the peace I felt in his presence like a sponge while losing myself in those brown orbs. I continued to stroke his jaw as he dallied with a lock of my hair that hung near his ear. Taking a hand away from his face I looked at his fingers as they tangled in the strands and brought them to my lips.
"You mean everything to me," I said with a squeeze of his hand. "More than I could ever express, I love you Alistair. You know that, right?" I whined a bit toward the end, prompting him to sit up, kneel on the bed and take my face in his hands.
"And I love you! You are going to be my wife. Without you…" He smoothed my hair away from my face and looked deeply into my eyes, "I don't know what I would do." I laughed, thinking back to the game.
"Without me you would be king," I mumbled. He lifted my chin and narrowed his eyes at me.
"What did you just say?" My eyes got wide as I shook my head.
"Nothing, I was talking to myself, I do that you see," I said as I gave his ear lobe a tug. "Not to change the subject, but I would like to ask something of you. Something you may not like." He held his façade and shook his head.
"You certainly do know how to turn a completely innocent and potentially beautiful moment into complete chaos," he finished with a smirk. I kissed him full on the mouth to shut him up then looked up into his eyes.
So much was going to happen in the coming weeks, nothing was certain and everything was at stake. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was willing to die for this cause. That thought had haunted me since the meeting at the palace, that and the fact that everything could change after all was said and done. For better or for worse, I just didn't know.
Regardless I wasn't even supposed to be alive right now. If not for Flemeth's meddling I would be rotting in the wilds which begged the question, what was going to happen to me after the blight was over? What if fate caught up with me and I wasn't going to see this through? What if I died?
"I want you to be happy," I began, "no matter what happens in this war the aftermath is unpredictable. If for some reason I don't make it…" Alistair grabbed me by the arms and gave me a gentle shake.
"Don't think like that," he insisted. I broke his grip on me and took his arms in kind.
"We HAVE to think like that," I maintained. "We are going off to WAR Alistair, people DIE in war. WE may die. I need to know that if I do you will be able to move on, that you'll be alright!" I dug my nails into his arms as my voice elevated to slightly below a screech. Panic gripped me, a panic I couldn't control and I didn't care. I had to know, had to be sure that no matter what he would carry on without me. He sat back on his heels.
"Kora," Alistair looked at me wide-eyed, "where is this coming from? Do you know something I don't?"
"Alistair please," I pleaded, "just promise me. I hold no secrets from you, no precognitions. The fact is we are both flesh and blood and we can be killed. I just need to know, I need to hear it." I felt a tear escape. He brushed it away with his thumb.
"I understand," he relented, taking a deep breath. "I'm not so naïve to think we are immortal, I just… I don't want to think about losing you." I reached over and took his face in my hands.
"And what if I lose you? I don't know what…"
He wrapped his arms around my waist and covered my mouth with his. Instinctively I threw my arms around his neck and held on as if my life depended on it. He dug his finger tips into the flesh of my back as I combed one hand into his hair and the other gripped his bicep, a moan coming from deep in my throat. He deepened the kiss, our conversation forgotten as he laid me back on the bed.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Horses were whinnying and dogs were barking just as the pinks and yellows of dawn appeared in the eastern sky. The hustle and bustle of human, elf and dwarf was so loud that I was sure everyone in Ferelden was awake. The first wagons had been pulled from the stables and were waiting for their march to Soldier's Peak as the sounds of armor clad soldiers came marching through led by their Commander and his lieutenants on horseback.
"Hold!" one lieutenant hollered over the crowd noise and the entire battalion stopped in its tracks. He and the others then went about splitting the forces into sections to be mingled in with the refugees as Alistair directed his horse over to me.
"Your Grace," he said as he got down from the rust colored stallion, "good morning." I smiled demurely, keeping up the rouse as I approached him with my hand out.
"Good morning Commander," I said. He took my hand, kissing my knuckles. "I trust you slept well?" Alistair looked up at me from his bowed position and smirked.
"I did," he said. Then he took a step closer to me. "But you already knew that," he whispered. I smirked back at him.
"I know a lot of things, COMMANDER," I whispered, still holding his hand, "including how much you DIDN'T sleep." We smiled at each other conspiratorially as Valendrian approached us.
"Your Grace, thank you for including my people in your plans, we are eternally grateful." He bowed deeply. I shook my head and smiled.
"I wouldn't have considered any alternative," I said as Shianni approached.
"I will be leading those staying behind to fight," she stated, crossing her arm over her chest, "what would you have of us Your Grace?" I nodded.
"Sparring, target shooting and resting. We should have a few days before we will have a definite time line for the battle and I want everyone at their best. Anyone who needs armor should see Master Wade, he and his assistant will be setting up in the market district once the army and refugees have gone. If anything else comes up I will be sure you are informed. Shianni," I said, taking her hand. A surprised look came over her face. "Please feel free to come to me if you need anything at all. I greatly appreciate the sacrifice you are all making and I will not allow it to be diminished."
"Um, yeah, yes, of course, Your Grace," she stammered as she released my hand and blushed. We nodded to each other and she headed back toward the Alienage. Valendrian watched her walk away with a smile.
"She has grown much since the Tevinters left. I feel comfortable leaving things in her hands," he said as he turned to face me. "Again, thank you for your assistance with that situation, Your Grace."
"Valendrian, you and I are leaders of our people, equals in my eyes. Your Grace is not necessary." I insisted. He smiled, patting my hand.
"Lady Kora," he stated, "if it will please you." I relented with a nod and motioned to the crowd of civilians gathering to leave.
"Maker watch over you, Valendrian." I gave his hand a firm squeeze.
"Maker watch over YOU, Lady Kora."
As I watched him walk away Alistair brushed my arm. I turned to him, his face as serious as it was the night before. He took my arm and led me around the corner to a secluded spot by the Wardens' warehouse.
"About what we were discussing last night," he said softly, "If anything was to happen to me I want you to promise that you will move on.
"I love you and all I want is for you to be happy. Mourn me, take all the time you need, but please Kora," he whispered as he pushed a stray hair from my face, "I need to know you will live your life, that you will find happiness again." I took his hand, placing a light kiss on the inside of his wrist and smiled.
"I will promise that," I said, "if you will." A few moments went by as we looked into the others' eyes, silently expressing everything that words could not. Finally he nodded, cupped my cheek and kissed my forehead. I looked up at him and nodded as well, pressing a small velvet bag in his hand.
"What's this?" he asked as he started to open it. I cupped my hands around his, stopping him.
"Don't open it until tonight, before you go to sleep," I said. "I love you."
"I love you."
He tucked the bag inside his breastplate and escorted me back to where his horse was waiting. Mounting the beast, he headed toward the main gate where Cailan, Duncan and Eamon were gathering their officers. My smile faded as I watched him ride away, praying that today would not be the last time we laid eyes on each other. Hoping beyond hope we would get our happy ending.
After he'd left my room that morning I stumbled across a small jewelry box that had belonged to my parents. Maker knew how it had been missed by that bastard Howe, but inside I found my father's signet ring. It was gold with the Chantry's Sunburst engraved into it and at the center was a small diamond. I thought it fitting, given he would be the Arl of Denerim, and decided to give it to Alistair. Asking him to open it later would give him something to look forward to and, hopefully, bring a smile to his face.
"There you are!" a familiar voice rose above the crowd. I turned to see Elissa, Leliana and Caden striding toward me. I grinned from ear to ear, putting out my arms to hug them.
"I was hoping to see you before you left," I sighed as my brother squeezed the air from my lungs. I reached for Elissa and she grinned, grabbing me roughly and trying her best to do the same.
"Me too, we've been looking all over for you. Come on," she said as she released me and grabbed my hand, "let's go make sure you get to see everyone before they leave." I looked at Leliana and she shook her head.
"Oh no," she smirked, "you are not going to be rid of me that easily Your Grace. I am staying right here." I smiled wide and let Elissa drag me along.
Once we'd made it to the main gate I saw Duncan on a black mare and gave him a smile and a wave. He smiled and nodded, motioning to my right. I turned to see Cailan and Eamon approaching me, the former none too thrilled by the look on his face.
"You will not keep even one Warden?" he asked pointedly, almost aggressive. I raised my chin and schooled my face.
"Good morning Your Majesty, I trust you slept well?" I responded, then lowered my voice. "Do you really want to know my reason or would you rather bark at me like a rabid mabari?" He blinked, apparently unaware of his tone and took a deep breath. I smiled. "Better?"
"Yes," he said softly, "I am sorry Kora, I had no right." I laughed.
"Bullshit, you have every right. Cailan," I said, stepping closer to him and keeping my voice low, "you are my King. You can question any decision I make. Do not start treating me differently than you would any other noble. Understood?" I narrowed my eyes in lieu of putting my finger in his face to make my point. He nodded and I smiled. "Just please think of how you present a question? That one almost sounded like an accusation." He smiled.
"That was not my intention," he said, "but the question still stands." I nodded.
"There are many things I learned when I was… away… and one of them is my reason." I glanced in Duncan's direction. "I have promised to keep certain details to myself with regard to the Wardens and I would greatly appreciate not being asked to reveal them. Suffice it to say, Duncan is in agreement. Can that be enough?" Cailan looked at me thoughtfully for a moment then nodded.
"I don't approve however I understand your motivation and I will not push you for answers," he said as he took my hand, kissing my knuckles and giving it a squeeze. "Maker watch over you, Your Grace." I felt my chest clench but kept my face in check and nodded.
"Maker watch over you, Your Majesty." I lifted my chin and planted a lingering kiss on his cheek. We exchanged looks, both conveying our worry for the other, then he gave me a small smile and swallowed noticeably before turning away. As he trudged back over to his horse I sighed, feeling a tug at my heart. Alistair wasn't the only man I was unwilling to live without, Cailan had become like family to me and I had already lost one brother. I'd be damned if I was going to lose another.
Accepting that it wasn't the time to dwell I looked around for anyone else I wanted to speak to and spotted the Wardens all gathered together close by.
After several hugs, a few ribbings and promises of drunken evenings to come I was finally able to walk away from the group. Roman had been the most difficult, a tear pooling in the corner of his eye as he made me promise to hold out until they returned. I smiled and nodded, kissed his nose and squeezed him as tight as I could. He planted a kiss on the top of my head, murmured 'little one' into my hair and pushed me away, mumbling something about making his armor rust with my girly tears. I laughed and relented, walking back toward the refugees.
"Your Grace," I heard from behind me. I turned to see Morrigan and smiled.
"Hello Morrigan," I said, "has Duncan filled you in on our plan?" She approached me and nodded.
"He has and I agree it is a good plan. I have taken the liberty of teaching a few of the more apt circle mages transfiguration. They will be assisting in keeping all apprised of circumstances as they arise. I will be reporting to you, Your Grace, if it pleases you?" I knew that questioning tone was as close as Morrigan got to affection so I smiled warmly at her and nodded.
"Thank you Morrigan, I would appreciate a familiar face. However, what of your plan?" I motioned for her to follow and we walked over to the awaiting crowd.
"There will be time for that, do not fear Your Grace," she said softly with a grin, the first real smile I had ever seen from her. I returned it and, steeling myself, turned toward those gathered.
"Everyone, please!" I shouted over the noise. All eyes were on me as silence rolled over the group. "Just so everyone is clear, I want to go over what will happen in the coming days and some guidelines I would ask you all to follow while at Soldier's Peak.
"First and foremost, PLEASE be considerate guests for your hosts. While the Peak IS a Warden Keep it is being maintained and repaired by the Dryden family. They and the Wardens have been gracious enough to allow us to utilize their lands as a sanctuary, please show them our gratitude.
"Second, any and all disputes will be handled by Sergeant Kylon who will, in turn, be working with the Dryden's. I defer to his good judgment 100%.
"Third…" I changed my tone, less authoritative and more compassionate, "PLEASE, please take care of one another. You are all going through the same crisis, being uprooted from your homes and fears of what you will return to will constantly weigh on all your minds. Understanding, compassion and patience will be key to keeping yourselves and everyone else together. Please remember what separates us from the darkspawn, our hearts.
"And lastly, once we know where we stand word will be sent to the Peak. We will not leave you all in suspense a moment longer than is necessary, this I swear to you.
"With that said, safe journey and may the Maker watch over you all." I motioned toward the gate and the mass of people started to move like herded cattle. As they walked past, most stopped to give their thanks, offering prayers and wishing us luck in the coming battle. I accepted every one with grace and sincerity, knowing these people may not be fighting but they will be suffering right along with us.
Especially if we fail.
As was custom, all who stayed behind stood outside the gates to see the army off. The King, flanked by Maric's Shield, led the march. I gave his steed a reassuring scratching behind his ears and smiled up at Cailan. He returned it but pulled down his helm shortly thereafter. I gave the horse one last rub and stepped back to allow him to pass.
Everyone waved their goodbyes, shouting well wishes and jests along the way. I held an encouraging smile and made sure to make eye contact with anyone I could as they passed. As Alistair came into view my heart about jumped from my body, making my smile fade momentarily but his grin brought it back with a vengeance. He tossed something to me as he passed, a small satchel that seemed a bit heavy for its size, and held his arm across his chest. I caught it and crossed my chest as well, a tear threatening to fall as he turned to face forward and ride away.
The Wardens were gleaming their armor was so polished and new. The blue against the silverite was stunning as they rode past with their helms down, staring straight ahead. Pride swelled in my chest as I noticed my father's longsword strapped to one of the horses, knowing it was Caden under that helm. I gave him a small wave and he lifted his fingers from the reins momentarily to give me a sly wave back. I giggled, feeling like a girl again; my brother and I conspiring to break yet another rule, no matter how small. I whispered another prayer as I reinforced the mask I wore and kept the desperate little girl within at bay.
The procession continued and I nodded to those I recognized, ensuring I kept my façade in check. Gallagher and his men approached but I noticed Garrett was not with them. I made a mental note to seek him out, knowing he probably defied his father's wishes and either stayed behind or took off with Isabela. After how Caden had left things, I felt the need to look out for him.
The stragglers gone, we all returned to the city and closed the gates. I gave instructions for traps and perimeter deterrents to be set up and checked periodically as well as the remaining mages to set up wards and glyphs. As everyone rushed off to complete their tasks I saw May come around a corner. Confused, I approached her.
"Why are you not with the others?" I asked. She smiled and shook her head.
"Like any of your men could cook a decent meal, Your Grace," she joked then shook her head. "Honestly, I'm pretty good with a bow. I asked Shianni to stay." I smiled and pulled the elven woman into a hug.
"Thank you," I whispered into her ear and released her. She smiled, a blush tainting her ears as she shooed me away. I laughed and made my way over to Lyle. He finished up his conversation with some troops and as they walked away I took his arm. "Please gather all the lieutenants and captains and bring them to the estate. I want to get started on strategies. Oh, and I need you to look for someone for me.
"Ser Garrett Wulff of West Hills seems to have gone missing. Ask the men to check around, perhaps he is still here or has left on a ship, most likely with Captain Isabela on The Siren's Call." He nodded.
"Yes Your Grace," he replied and stood at attention to be dismissed. I nodded and decided to return to the estate.
I had a war room to set up.
My office was the largest room that wasn't used for eating or sleeping so I decided it would suffice. I sent May to find a map of Denerim and refreshments for everyone while I had some of my guard help me clear the office of chairs and small tables.
I designated my desk as the war table, cleared it off and laid the detailed map of Denerim May discovered in the basement across it. Paper weights holding down each corner and chess pieces scattered about, it was ready for some serious planning.
Once the meeting had ended and everyone seemed to be in agreement they left, probably to get good and drunk. I remained, staring down at the map blankly, feeling the stress of the coming battle pull on my limbs. My mind began to wander and, for once, I didn't feel obligated by responsibility or some impending doom to hold it together, I just gave up and let it take me.
Flashes of those I cared about most popped into my head in various states of emotion. Elissa looking ashamed when we first met in Lothering, Caden while he chastised me about Alistair in my tent, Cailan's eyes after he'd freed my dress from the door in Redcliffe, and then Alistair. The night we kissed, the night we called everything off, the day we saw each other again in Denerim, and then our first night together. I swiftly felt recharged, remembering what it was that I was fighting for.
The people I love.
"Your Grace," Ser Lyle coughed from the doorway. I looked up and waved him into the room. "Is there anything I can do for you before I retire for the evening?" I shook my head.
"No, get some rest," I said as I looked back down at the map. "Tomorrow is another day." I glanced back up and he was still standing there. "Is there something wrong?"
"I just…" he hesitated, looking down at his feet then back up at me. "I know it's not my place but… I worry for you, Your Grace. I worry that you are…" He shook his head, seemingly unsure how to continue. I smiled and made my way across the room to stand in front of him, putting my hands on his shoulders.
"What's on your mind?" He sighed and I let my arms drop.
"I remember the day you first came here," he began, "you looked as if you had the weight of the world on your shoulders. That weight seems to only have increased in the days since and I want to help, in any way I can." He looked me dead in the eye. "No one should have to carry this burden alone."
I watched as his face went from concern to steadfast devotion in just moments. His faith in me wasn't in question; it was about what he wanted to do for me. He knew I could handle the days to come, knew I would, but he didn't want me to have to go it alone. In that moment I made a decision.
"Alright, Ser Lyle," I said as I stepped back. "I hereby officially make you a member of my personal guard." I waited for his response and saw only shock on his face. I stifled a giggle and gave him a nudge. "Do you accept?"
"Yes!" he blurted out. "Um, I mean, yes, Your Grace, I humbly accept this prestigious title. Thank you, thank you so much." His grin was from ear to ear and I couldn't help but return it.
"Alright then, I will see to it you receive you new armor tomorrow, please report to Master Wade first thing so he can take your measurements. I will also inform the Captain so you should make him your second stop for the day." I tapped my chin, looking down at the shabby sword sheathed at his side and the wooden shield on his back.
"I will also ask Master Wade for new weaponry for you, he may have something lying around that will be suitable." I walked back to the other side of the war table and gave him a nod. "Get some rest, Ser Lyle." He almost tripped over his own feet trying to leave the room, mumbling his thanks as he went. I couldn't help but laugh to myself as I watched him leave. May strolled by and popped her head in.
"Want me to send out a courier to Master Wade and inform Captain Reid Your Grace?" I smiled and nodded, admiring the fact that she knew when to eavesdrop and when to pretend she hadn't. She smiled back and disappeared.
My chair had been pushed over to one of the larger windows to get it out of the way so I sauntered over and sat down, staring out into the starry night. I smiled as I thought about the ring I had given Alistair, wondering if he was opening it right then and remembered the satchel he had thrown to me before he left. Excited, I jumped up and grabbed it from behind the door, bringing it over to the window and sitting back down. Pulling it up onto my lap I slowly untied the drawstrings and pulled it open, gasping in awe.
Inside was the most beautiful silverite helm I had ever seen. It was trimmed in serpentstone and when I pulled it out I noticed the Chantry Sunburst, also in green, emblazoned across the face shield. I stared at it in awe, admiring the beauty and craftsmanship, then realizing the significance.
I remembered the march to Redcliffe when we came across Loghain's men, how I'd taken the blow to the head and was threatened with rope burns if I wasn't more careful. Then I thought of Alistair's face when he pleaded with me not to fight anymore, insisted even, and how I couldn't bear to tease him about it. I only promised to be more careful and said I should have been wearing a helm.
"You remembered," I whispered as a tear rolled down my cheek.
I turned it around again in my hands, it was truly remarkable to look at and the silverite made it extremely strong. I put it down on my lap, tied my hair back at the nape of my neck and pulled it on. It fit perfectly, not too tight or too loose, and it was lined with lustrous cotton so it was very comfortable. I played with the face shield for a bit, loosening the hinges, and finally took it off.
Putting the helm back into its satchel I pulled the drawstrings closed and stood, slinging it over my shoulder. Taking one last look at the war table I nodded, feeling confident we were well prepared for the fight to come, and decided to call it a night.
After a glass of bourbon, that is.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The next morning was spent turning the market district into a training ground complete with a healers' tent. All the booths had either been removed or turned into shooting galleries much to Leliana's delight as she showed up every archer I had. Herren was set up in front of Wade's shop to take orders and repairs. Sparring rings stretched as far as the eye could see and some of the soldiers, humans and elves alike, were cleaning out one of the larger abandoned buildings to use it as a hospital.
I'd opted for my battle gear that morning so after breakfast I put on my armor and strapped my sword and shield across my back before tracking down Captain Reid. He seemed pleased with my choice of Lyle and was eager to get him started on training so I left him to it and decided to hit a sparring ring myself.
I stood by and watched a few younger men battle it out, one with a greatsword and the other with sword and shield. When the shield bearer got knocked on his ass for the third time I put my fingers up to my mouth and whistled. Both men turned to me and crossed their arms over their chests. I pointed to shield-guy and motioned for him to exit the ring. He slowly made his way over to me, head down in embarrassment.
"Don't worry," I laughed, "I just want to give you a few pointers. Are you willing to learn?" He looked up from the ground and nodded, seemingly unsure. I shook my head and grabbed the top of his shield still strapped to his arm.
"This is a shield," I said slowly and he narrowed his eyes at me. "Hey, you're the one who can't seem to block with it. Hold it UP," I gave it a yank, "to BLOCK. Like this," standing side by side with him I demonstrated.
I worked with him for about half an hour, correcting everything from his stance to his grip as well as walking him through a few simple moves to better use the shield. Finally satisfied he was holding it properly I then showed him a few techniques from my templar training to get the enemy off balance as well as a few that work well with a mage. After a while I looked up to see we had drawn a crowd, some even following along with the motions. I laughed and slapped my pupil on the back, motioning to the group.
"Thank you, Your Grace," he bowed, "It's easy to forget you were once a Templar." I gave him a confused look and he instantly blushed. "Well, you're, you know, I…" Lyle came up beside me and nodded to the man.
"She is your Arlessa," he asserted as he turned to face the crowd, "and a skilled Templar. You'd all be wise to heed her advice." He lowered his voice and leaned toward me. "Your Grace, you are needed in the war room, Bralen is reporting in." Bralen had been assigned a scouting post just outside of Dragon's Peak with nine others. I nodded and we hurried back to the estate.
When we entered my office I saw a battered and bruised Bralen sitting in a chair being tended to by May and Leliana, Morrigan standing off to the side with her arms crossed. Reid was already there along with Cranston and Drake, his lieutenants. They all crossed their chests and bowed. As surprised as I was to see Morrigan so soon I kneeled in front of Bralen, assessing his injuries. His heart rate was strong, but elevated. He was petrified.
"Report," I said, placing a hand on his knee. He nodded, trying to bring his arm across his chest but hissing in pain. I took his hand, placed it back by his side and nodded.
"They over ran us, You Grace," he whispered, each breath labored. I tapped May's arm and pointed to his ribs. She nodded and left the room. "There were these creatures that were ten feet tall and made hideous screeching noises, almost deafening. They were everywhere, popping up out of the ground and appearing out of thin air! I barely made it out much less here, were it not for Lady Morrigan I would be dead on the road." He stopped to catch his breath, wincing, then continued. "The others, some were out on patrol. Did anyone else make it back?" I shook my head, stood and turned toward Reid.
"Put everyone on alert and have the mage leaders report to me immediately. The horde may very well be here by day break." He bowed and left, followed by his lieutenants and Lyle. I looked down at Bralen as May returned with bandages to wrap his ribs. "Good work soldier, now let's get you fixed up. May, can you get him to the room off the main entrance? I think he will be more comfortable there." She nodded and Leliana gave her a hand getting him to his feet. I looked at Morrigan for an explanation and she shook her head.
"I was on my way here to report the horde's position," she explained. "The man had lost a lot of blood so I took on the form of a bear and carried him on my back. Not very dignified, mind you, but I knew he had information you would want to hear." She sat down on the chair Bralen had vacated and I nodded.
"Thank you Morrigan, it is greatly appreciated," I said thoughtfully, my mind racing as to what our next step should be. "You should go, your ritual…"
"Yes," she said as she stood, "but I know you will have a message for the Wardens as well. I will deliver it." I took a breath, formulating the plan in my head.
"Please tell Duncan when the horde will be here. I will leave the decision to them as I am sure Redcliffe is already under attack. I believe one of the mages here can take crow form, I will send them to Redcliffe to check then have them report to Duncan as well." I shook my head, trying to coax my mind into catching up.
"Your Grace," Morrigan said softly, brushing her hand against mine, "is there anything you'd like for me to convey to anyone else?"
I knew I should have responded to her touching me, Maker knew she was completely opposed to 'the touching' as she called it. I also knew when she said 'anyone else' she was referring to Alistair but in that moment I realized I had become completely numb.
I found myself in a limbo that I had never experienced before, seemingly detached in a way that allowed me to view everything at once but with much greater detail and clarity. In my mind I could see all of the possibilities and was able to devise strategies for each that would slow the horde and minimize casualties.
All going well we would have a fighting chance in Denerim for a few days at least. Hopefully it would be long enough for the army to get back. If not I had to accept the fact that we may be on the precipice of losing every man and woman here, myself included, but that is a consequence of war. People die.
"No, distractions are not an option. Please speak directly with Duncan and proceed with your plan," I stated firmly as I strode to the door. "Hurry Morrigan."
Without waiting for her to leave I walked out and made my way to the entrance to wait for the mages. It wasn't quite noon so we had time, but everything was happening much faster than I'd anticipated.
Not only had we picked up the pace with getting things in order but apparently the Archdemon was speeding things up as well. Perhaps this would work to our advantage, I thought, if that thing is feeling forced to move it could be unprepared. I bit my lower lip as four mages entered.
"Thank you for coming," I said. "I was told at least one of you had been trained in transfiguration."
"That would be me, Your Grace," a man stepped forward. Dressed in battlemage armor, he was tall like Caden but built like Garrett with long light brown hair pulled back from his face and striking blue eyes. I nodded and turned to face the rest of the group.
"Everyone else please report to Captain Reid in the market." I motioned toward the door and they filed out, closing it behind them. I turned to the remaining mage. "Your name?"
"Joshua, Your Grace," he replied with a bow. I nodded.
"Joshua, Redcliffe is possibly under attack by darkspawn and I expect we will also be under attack by this time tomorrow. I need you to go to Redcliffe, analyze the situation there, and then report immediately to Warden Commander Duncan who is presently on the King's Road." I stared him straight in the eye as he stood there, seemingly hanging on my every word. "Repeat that back to me."
"Go to Redcliffe, analyze the situation and report to Warden Commander Duncan." He stood stock still, unwavering. Confident he was capable and willing, I nodded.
"Good luck," I whispered as he nodded, transformed and flew away.
For the first time in what seemed like forever I was alone. I stood there for a moment, suddenly aware that the limbo I had been experiencing was falling away like a broken shell. Feeling my knees weaken I backed up against the wall for support, taking a ragged breath in then slowly exhaling. The mask I held lay in pieces at my feet but I didn't care; one sentence continuously playing over and over in my head like a broken record.
And so it begins.