A/N: Tora abandoned Akari after sex.

Seems legit.

SO-

What'll happen next then, hm?

Well, we still have to settle the basic questions hanging in the air. Not all in one chapter- oh GOD NO, but I mean, I'm just saying. Basic questions left unanswered need to, at some point, be answered.

Like the following:

+ When is Akari going to come into contact with all her friends again? And how exactly is that going to go? (How pissed with Aika be, eh?)

+ What was that important subject that Orochi never finished discussing with Akari? Why did he approach her?

+ When's Tora gonna notice the bruises caused by Hayate beating Akari up? Seriously, must be some pretty wicked-powerful cover up that she used... to not come off during Tora-sex...

+ And what the hell ever happened to Kanou being Tora's love rival?! Seriously, how was that ever going to work?!

Well viewers -these questions- I promise I have the answers to :D ooh, exciting! I get to put my brain into overdrive~~yaaay~~ *pouts* I just need to figure out exactly where to place each answer to these questions in the story... okay, ugh.

If, by the end of this chapter, I have smoke coming out of my ears and there's this weird sound coming from inside of my skull, that kind of matches the same sound an Electrode makes when it uses the move Self-Destruct, don't worry, that's just my mind imploding, then collecting all of its thoughts back together into a whole again, and then exploding. S'no biggy.

"...I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once." - John Green, The Fault In Our Stars

Chapter Nineteen. Slowly, And Then All At Once

Akari jolted with a start. The thrumming pain in her sore neck, lips, breasts, and lower sensitive areas told her that the truth was exactly what she remembered it to be.

She had finally given in to the one thing Tora had wanted.

She was so embarrassed. Devastated, really. And mad at herself. But there was something else really bugging her, other than her finally submitting to him. He wasn't anywhere to be found in the room.

Not knowing what else to do, and just knowing, knowing, all too well, the high chance that he had abandoned her, she slid into his jacket and buttoned it up over her naked body. Her dress was torn, not like she could wear that. Wait... crap, was she gonna have to flee the school clad only in Tora's jacket?! Some walk of shame that would be- even if it the sun looked like it had set outside, it still wasn't dark enough to hide her.

What was she going to do?

Just as she was about to start descending into what most would call a complete mental breakdown, the door across the room started to open. She froze, her body instantly tensing up, and for some reason her legs just wouldn't move as that giant slab they called a door thrust itself forward, only a few feet away from her, and she was out in the open, completely visible and all too red in the face to look innocent.

When a blonde head emerged from behind the door frame, and then that lean body she knew all too well followed, Akari couldn't help but sigh in relief. It might be the last guy she wanted to see at the moment, but at the same time he was somehow the only person she wanted to see as well.

Turning around to face Akari, and shutting the door behind him, she saw that he had brought something with him in his hands. Her eyes went from the clothes, to her bag he held, and then to his face. He smirked at her, his grin seeming more annoying that usual, and his voice, she noted, when he spoke, had more of an edge to it. A weird edge she couldn't quite figure out the sound of.

"You look good in my uniform." He commented, smiling while his eyes roamed over her, making her stiffen under his intent gaze. And then, of course that wasn't all of it. "But I like the way you look much better with nothing on at all."

She huffed at him, her emotions collecting and making her jumpy. She almost stomped her foot in annoyance, but withheld herself, instead glaring him down. "Just give me the clothes, Igarashi."

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Calling me by my last name again, I see."

"That- varies."

His gaze seemed to spark at her words. "Yes, it would seem it would vary with different... situations."

She was blushing, but stood her ground. "I've called you by your first name, and your last name, several times before we, um, before-"

"Before what, Akari?"

She watched him just standing there, refusing to move, the stubborn arrogant bastard. He had his brow raised and his eyes staring with this enticing look, willing her to continue with her sentence. She shifted uncomfortably under his intense gaze, remembering the way he had looked at her when they had- crap, stop. She had to stop herself. She had to just not think about it, or it would make things worse for her.

"You- I-" She tried to take a deep breath. "Nevermind. Toss me my clothes already. And then leave. You got what you wanted so-"

"Just what are you talking about?"

She stopped, making a surprised noise, and blinked over at him. His tone was bored, and slightly pestered, as if she had just said something bothersome and nonsensical.

"Wha- di-didn't you- I mean, don't you-"

"Please keep your flagrantly oblique thoughts to yourself." He raised an eyebrow at her, staring intently in order to get some sort of message across. "You hardly know what you're talking about."

She stared at him, and he looked straight at her. Almost the moment his eyes met hers, she felt something ignite inside of her. What was he... saying? That she wasn't just a one-night stand? That she was wrong about him just wanting her so he could say he had sex with her, too, yet another girl to add to his list? Was she right in thinking he was implying that?

"Are you going to just stand there in my jacket for the rest of the evening, or are you going to come get your clothes?" He was still staring at her, and though his tone was neutral now, completely devoid of emotion, only asking a simple question, she could sense there was a lot roving beneath that stilled surface of his. Sighing, she walked forward, deciding that if she at least got some clothes on, she could hold down a conversation with him without feeling so...

Useless, embarrassed, subordinate, ashamed.

The moment she was standing in front of him, and he was still looking down at her, she held his gaze. The closer proximity had now reminded her senses about what he'd done to her only a short time ago. And, shamefully, she wanted nothing more than to take him and kiss him again. And so, to keep herself from having a staring contest with his lips, she glued her eyes to his and made sure not to look away.

Suddenly, he had dropped her bag to the floor, though the clothes were still there for her to take in his other hand. She didn't take them. Well, she was about to, but she was too busy trying to calm herself, because she'd just realized she was breathing too hard for it to be normal.

The fingers of his free hand was suddenly cupping her chin, as they continued to look straight into each other's eyes at such a close proximity. Staring for so long and being so near to him, she could gaze almost directly through him it would seem, his golden eyes flickering when he blinked, and she could've sworn she saw the hint of emotions somewhere inside; the longer she stared, the more she was starting to see.

Likewise, he stared down at her just as carefully, the two almost seemed to be calculating each other's existence. If one weren't to look so closely, Tora would appear as neutral and unreadable as ever- his lips pulled in a solemn line, the planes of his face smooth and relaxed. But watching at such a distance as Akari was, his eyes... His eyes were active, and bright, and staring at her so intensely, she could feel her heart throb, almost painfully, as if it were to burst. Her heart rate sped up as his hand cupping her chin moved, the nimble fingers crossing over her cheek to cup one side of her face.

Am I really... falling for him?

Tora's hand gave a slight tug, the slightest tug, actually, it was barely even a tug. But still, she felt it, the undeniable pull going through him and connecting with her, and her face was brought closer to his as they both continued to watch each other, each of them waiting, reading the other, looking for signals and signs, but finding none as their minds went strangely, blank. Neither of them had really become aware of it, but their lips were millimeters apart now- though their bodies seemed to register it, the pull, the ever-present force, and without thinking, their brains momentarily shut off as they became entranced in each other's gaze, and what was left behind was the will of their bodies wanting to touch, to connect, to mold beautifully into a harmonizing, complimenting symmetry.

Their lips brushed...

Words.

Words that had been haunting him for the past however many days that he'd been pursuing her. They had been locked in his brain, seemingly insignificant to him but somehow important enough that he remembered every single word down to the last syllable. And suddenly, in a rush, they all came flooding back to him in an instantaneous moment, pushing past the blockade he'd created in order to ignore them.

The words spoken the moment she had first met him: You're just not worth my time. I don't want to have to put all my effort into anything about you, like everyone else does, because you won't reciprocate. At least, not loyally or sincerely."

Words said in the car on the way to see her father, that only backed up the first statement: "I knew you were fake from the moment I first met you."

"...You don't know feelings." Words said the night of her first stay at his estate. "...You always want what you can't have."

And many, many more words.

Sentences, formulated by her.

"...You tend to try anything to get your way..."

"Because... you need to learn your place..."

"Is that how it works for you- if someone doesn't care about you, then you shouldn't have to even bother about them? That's a disgusting way of thinking..."

"I think you're voicing your feelings in a rather strange way, Igarashi... You're telling me how you truly feel, not how I do. I think it's you who feels weaker whenever I'm around."

"...and keep yourself away from me. I'm not interested in you and I should have never let you take things so far that time..."

"Hold onto anything you can, and for now, since I'm here, hold onto me."

"Well, do something already so I can forgive you!"

"I accept your apology."

"I think nothing of you."

"Kiss me."

Such contradictory, confusing words.

Certain things that had been said, about her, involving her.

"It would seem she's gotten you confused."

"Instead of going to the trouble of getting other men out of the way, why not forget her?"

"There are two kinds of people in the world... The type who think but don't do, and the type who do but don't think. What type do you think miss Michiyo is?" "Could she be both, perhaps?"

"...what makes you so sure I haven't conquered her yet?" "Why else would you still be so interested in her?" "You're right. Why else would I be interested in her, I wonder?"

"Akari's the type of strong girl that any Igarashi man needs by his side."

"She makes people feel real."

Real.

Suddenly, every single word, every other thought, was put on hold. There was that particular word again.

REAL.

The amount of power that a single word could hold seemed irregular to Tora.

What was real, to someone like him, who lived a life filled only with the essence of everything fake and artificial, who was made up himself of lies and tricks? What had ever felt real to him? Nothing. If you were to ask him that question before he met Akari, that would have been his answer.

But now things were different.

Akari felt real. His mother had mentioned that she simply made others feel it, but Akari herself, Tora knew, was the most real and true person he had ever come to meet. How he knew this? Because he honestly didn't know what anything real meant, or what real emotions were supposed to feel like, until she came along and showed him.

And what had he done with her? Had he ruined all of that with the act of sex? He didn't know- she was so damn unpredictable- one moment she would be upset with him, pointing out so clearly all of his flaws that he didn't even really know he had; and the next moment, she was looking at him like she actually wanted him, even for who he was and even with her witnessing how he acted and what he did, and then she'd say things to him that left him both amazed and lost at the same time.

And then there was that rather large, no, the biggest fact of them all. The fact that she was so real, so perfectly in sync with feelings and emotions and so good at sensing them in others... that she knew him, probably even better than he knew himself. Since the beginning, she just knew. Both the fake him, and whatever part of him that was left over to remain real, however small that part of him may be, she felt, saw, and wholly acknowledged it. She simply knew how he worked, what he was, and what he hid. Her words showed that much to be true.

"You won't reciprocate. At least, not loyally or sincerely."

"I knew you were fake from the moment I first met you."

"You don't know feelings."

"You always want what you can't have."

"You tend to try anything to get your way."

"You need to learn your place."

"Is that how it works for you- if someone doesn't care about you, then you shouldn't have to even bother about them?"

"You're voicing your feelings in a rather strange way."

"You're telling me how you truly feel, not how I do."

"It's you who feels weaker whenever I'm around."

She'd say things, and those things were true. And they were all about him. She knew him backwards, and forwards, upside down and sideways, every way a person could possible know another person- she knew him like that. But some of her words... stuck with him more than others. Words that cut him deep, that almost scared him because he wasn't used to thinking that way, wasn't used to being, or acting, or accepting, what is real.

"You're not heartless, but sometimes you act like you have less of a heart than you really do have. And you really do have a big heart. Even if others don't see it, even if you can't see it, it's still there. Your big fat heart full of emotions- and it's kind of the culprit behind everything you've felt so far, or not felt. But it's still a good heart. So no, you're not heartless. And that's not a real statement it's fake."

He'd been telling himself that apparent lie, making himself that, his whole life. He'd believed in fake statements from the earliest of beginnings, and he evolved and grew around the thought. So, imagine how he had been absolutely thrown off guard when her words went against everything he had told himself he was.

"You're not heartless. You aren't hollow. You do feel things. You aren't unfeeling. You have a heart."

Words. Words that had been haunting him, because they completely baffled him. Her words. Her impossible words.

And THAT was just it. Wasn't it just too good to be true? Wasn't it exactly what he didn't deserve to hear? Wasn't it just impossible? Completely unbelievable?

All of this passed through Tora's mind in the mere few seconds of time his lips spent brushing the surface of hers. And it didn't take too long for realization to hit.

Suddenly, he blinked. And after that, the atmosphere very obviously shifted. Instead of kissing her he pulled back, ruining their almost-lip-lock, breaking their steady entrance with each other's eyes. Instead of kissing her, his lips edged to the shell of her ear and he let out a throaty chuckle, followed by a dark whisper.

"Could you repeat what you were saying earlier, about looking into my eyes while I made you cum around me, clinging to me, gasping my name?"

It was sometime around five short seconds later that Tora was sporting a red mark on his cheek that looked suspiciously like the outline of a hand.

It took two seconds for her to realize he wasn't going to kiss her, two more seconds for her to properly absorb what he had whispered to her, and then only a single second for her to raise her hand and slap him with all her might.

Standing in front of Tora now, and finally properly dressed so that she didn't feel like an idiot, (after slapping him hard she had grabbed the clothes he brought her and shoved them on quickly) Akari was fuming, her face was flushed an altogether unnatural dark shade of red, that was caused by embarrassment and unbridled rage. She had not only taken offense that all he was thinking about was the sex they'd had, but was also devastatingly embarrassed that he had remembered her murmurs at the end of it about her looking into his eyes while they fucked each other for the first time, and how speechless she was because of it. She should have NEVER, EVER said something so completely embarrassing! And, what was more, she was enraged by all of his teasing. That perfect build up that she'd witnessed had felt all too amazing, his kiss, she was anticipating so much, too much. She had not expected him to pull away, and she couldn't believe that he had after they had been looking at each other like that.

It just proved how good of a liar he really was. She had totally fallen into the build-up of that kiss, and how he had managed to make it a moment so full of feeling, so random and unnatural and... Well, it was like, for the first time, he had been looking at her with eyes that said more to her than they ever had before. It was a moment where she thought, he might be a little less fake than he'd started off when she had first met him.

She had seen it before, or at least felt it. In the moment when he was upset about his mother that one night and asked her to stay with him on the bench, in the moment when he had hugged her and then put his coat around her, and the moment when, (after his really shitty, over-used apology) he sincerely apologized to her for locking her in her room. In those moments, and a couple others, she could see a part of him that didn't fit into his usual image. And that was because his usual image was a mirage pulled over the world's eyes. He didn't want to feel, apparently, and he didn't want anyone to know that he, sometimes in fact, did feel.

It just felt like one of those moments where he was actually feeling again.

Turns out, it was just an elaborate tease.

"Tora," She found his eyes, which looked back at her with a haughty glint in them. "You're the most-" She suddenly choked on her next words. "You're the most-"

"Come on, haven't got all night, Akari. I've still got to take you home, and have someone clean this room up."

Her eyes sharply narrowed on his. There was something not right with him, almost as if he was trying a bit too hard to piss her off, but she didn't care to look into it much right now. Instead, she wanted to ask that burning question that the answer to could either make her a thousand times more furious, or possible have her feeling the smallest bit better.

"Where did you go?"

His brow twitched slightly. "What?"

"When I woke up, you weren't there. I thought-" Crap, was she going to cry? Just how attached had she become to this guy! No, she would NOT cry! Clearing her throat, she continued, trying not to choke up again. "I thought for sure you had abandoned me and-"

"I left because your snoring was giving me a headache."

She blinked. He was quick to interrupt, and that wasn't exactly a terrible answer. Before she could really think, her first initial thought came out of her mouth.

"I don't snore." She plainly stated, her voice, for the moment, devoid of all emotion.

His lids lowered, and she felt a spinning sensation start up in her head that wouldn't go away when he gave her a fairly edgy, sort of bordering on erotic, look. Well shit, when he had to go and look at her like THAT!

"You do. Loudly." Came his reply, the maddeningly distracting look still on his face.

"No I don't." She gritted her teeth.

Tora merely smiled, a loose-lipped grin that revealed no sharp, threatening incisors. It wasn't quite his usual smirk, but it was still a smirk. "Oh but you do. But it's not nearly as loud as the sounds you make when I-"

"Don't!" She exclaimed, and he abruptly stopped. "Do not finish, that sentence."

Tora took a step towards her, unsettling her and, before she could withdraw, he grabbed her arm, pulled her to him, and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "When I pleasure you..."

She shivered, his breath warm, and as enticing as ever. Despite that, she fought him, raising her hand to again slap his face-

"Aaahh!"

Two seconds later she was pinned to the floor, tripped and tugged somehow by him, and he was leaning over her with a confident gleam in his golden eyes. Both her wrists were pinned up above her head by both his hands, and he didn't make any move, but simply watched her until she chose to speak.

"Get off."

He smiled, dazzlingly, putting on the charm. "My, my, Akari. I didn't know you used such vulgar slang." His eyes darkened. "I like this side of you..."

For a moment, she looked puzzled, and in that moment, he leaned forward, just enough so that his lips were tickling her cheek as they brushed against the skin there. "You know, I could get off again... how do you want to do it this time? I could bend you over my desk and-"

"TORA! That's-" She felt her cheeks growing warm, then hot as the words continued to race through her head, repeating. "That's not what I meant!"

"Well I'm sorry to inform you," Suddenly, he was pulling away from her, standing up and offering out a hand. "But we don't have time for it, even if we made it quick. It's already dark out, and your family will be worried."

Refusing his hand, she stood up on her own, thinking that 'worried' wasn't exactly the right word to use, though he probably knew that already. "You're taking me home?"

"Who else would?"

"...Good point."

"Well," He grinned. "Let's go then, shall we?" He walked towards the door, stopping as he opened it and waiting for her to follow.

Akari brushed herself off, stepping up after him. When she was just passing through the door, however, Tora held out an arm and stopped her in her path. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips just above the edge of her ear, smiling as he whispered; "If you really want to get off, we could probably do it in the car on the way there..."

She shoved his arm aside roughly, needing to get away from him in order for her spinning mind to calm down and stop picturing erotic images of the two of them together. The red flush that danced over her entire face had Tora laughing with rich amusement as he followed from behind.

By the time Tora had dropped Akari off at her estate, explained to her father that she was assisting with an 'after school project' that just ended up running late, called Maki and made sure that the situation of the messy Student Council room would be fixed before school tomorrow, and had arrived back home, it was somewhere close to ten thirty, which really wasn't all that late, considering he had stayed up working before much later than that.

And yet, he was completely, and utterly exhausted.

Stepping into his bedroom, he didn't even bother to take off his clothes. All he could do was sigh, rush to the bar, and get enough alcohol in himself to make him feel slightly less stressed and upset. Then it was to the couch to collapse like a dead man.

Lying to her was harder than he thought it should be. Why had it been so hard, anyway? Trying to act how he had always acted. It didn't seem right to be like that when he was around her, and yet, it was all he knew. He didn't know exactly what was going on, but his brain thumped into his skull when he tried thinking about it.

Matters of the heart were just not something he knew how to handle.

And thus, here he was, avoiding facing whatever he was going through as he drank up. He had to be careful though, after all, he did have school to attend in the morning. Too bad he couldn't drink nearly the amount he wanted to...

Tora groaned deep within his throat, closing his eyes as he tipped his head back, resting it against the back of the couch. He was not looking forward to seeing her again tomorrow.

Because, when he saw her, he felt a twinge. 'Maybe it's nothing'- he had originally thought. But that twinge had steadily grown, from nothing, to downright annoying, and it slowly, slowly climbed in its intensity... And now, all of a sudden, it was like a slap in the face, and all at once, he was feeling completely stir-crazy and didn't know what to do about it.

Hmm, yes, today, whatever that moment was between them where they nearly kissed, was something else entirely that he wasn't used to and had honestly never experienced. Maybe that's why he stopped it, but another reason was also because, it was just so hard to believe. So hard to fully establish, and take in, and realize. He couldn't adapt quick enough.

For him, it was impossible to feel love, or be loved in return. Because he'd never really known the feeling, that emotion was foreign to him. The closest thing he felt to it was the affection he saved only for his own mother, and he already had known his whole life that it was reciprocated by her, so he had never really thought much about what it truly meant. He just knew it to be there, ever-present, sort of hidden under the surface, so he never fully understood.

But now, with Akari, maybe he could understand. No, not understand, he still didn't understand it at all. But tonight he had fully acknowledged it.

Feelings as sudden as a slap to the face...

As soon as he thought that, his free hand had immediately went up to touch his sore cheek that the girl he couldn't stop thinking about had slapped. Despite himself, he smiled, if only a little. And with that slight curve of his lips, and the way his fingers wanted to linger on his face, knowing that Akari had once touched him there, and longing for that touch again, (if only a little) made him know something for certain now.

This wasn't something he could just brush aside as an interest anymore. Today when he was with her, all at once, he wanted... even more.

He just wasn't sure what more he could possible want though. What more was there to want?

A/N: AAAHHHHH! The DRUM ROLL! Oh that drum roll!

You know, the drum roll. The moment leading up to the kiss. You know exactly what I'm talking about if you watch the t.v. show How I Met Your Mother (LOVE THAT SHOW, BTW)

That is my favorite part of this chapter. At the very beginning, when they have that flipping-fantastic drum roll that comes before the kiss...

Ah-hem. The kiss that DIDN'T HAPPEN!

Wow, I am so evil. Just, SO evil. I'm sorry you guys, I really am. In a way. But I like to have my stories to have a sinfully delicious, anticipation-filled bait to hook my readers with. And I hooked you there, didn't I? Didn't I? :3 Come on, admit it. You were on the edge of your seat, licking your lips in want for the kiss that never came...

Evil. Again, I say, I am evil.

wahaha. bwahahaha. Mwahahahaha. HA. GAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA!

^(totally not how I really feel... totally not)

See ya next time, willing victim- I MEAN- avid readers. *cough cough* Heh.

CK :*

p.s- Big, enthusiastic, figurative thumbs up for How I Met Your Mother :D

p double s- btw, my internet crashed because our city's internet tower thing stopped working. Took forrreevvveeerr for the internet to get back up. So if you were wondering why this update was so terribly late, that was part of the reason why. (note: the other part of the reason was NOT, I repeat, NOT- due to my insipid laziness...)