A/N: Okay, normally, I would leave this at the end of the chapter, but I just want to explain a few things. First of all, the last chapter I posted was ABSOLUTE SHIT. I read it, and it disgusted me so much... you don't even know. So I deleted half the chapter, and, luckily today was my day off, so I was able to stay up until 3 am typing non-stop to write this. And a little side note, PM isn't exactly a reliable way of communication, so, if you want to contact me, my Instagram is: ( shipwrecked_syren). I apologize again for the mental trauma that must have been inflicted by this chapter. Hopefully, you enjoy this redone chapter much more. Also, you will notice that much of the information in this chapter is completely changed. I wanted to take it in a different direction. The main plot will still be the same, I just want to drag out its development. Okay, Enough of my ramblings. I hope you enjoy this much more than the abomination it was before (: Oh, and I hate to be the douche who does shit like this, but the speed in which I update will depend on reviews and such. If I feel like a story isn't going anywhere or it has potential but it isn't going to be noticed, I won't waste the effort. It isn't that I wouldn't like to write the story, it's just I don't have time to waste in pointless endeavors. (What with my two jobs, senior year in high school, college classes, and my 5 workouts a week.) Alright. I'm done (: Enjoy this chapter (:
SoleixDeidara
Broken
Rain fell from the heavens above in an almost bullet-like shower, each moment the torrential downpour seemed to gain even more fervor. It was as if the gods were grieving. Deidara hugged the large black leather jacket that the man had given him closer to his body.
"Please wait here. I will only be a moment."
"Yeah right," Deidara hissed under his breath, "Way to leave me in the downpour of the century." Deidara had always loved the rain—something about it just resonated within him. It was as if the sky was mirroring his inner-turmoil, as if the world was shedding tears for the lonely child.
The streets were empty, not a soul or life-form revealing itself amidst the deluge. Of course, someone could be out there, just beyond Deidara's sphere of vision… lurking in the shadows.
Deidara shook the dark thoughts from his head. Sasori is gone. You don't have to worry about him anymore…
Deidara still couldn't bring himself to find truth in these words; he had been held down for so long… there was no way he could just suddenly be free.
"Well, at least he seems pretty wealthy," Deidara muttered as his eyes scanned up the towering structure above him, cursing himself silently for thinking such petty thoughts.
The obsidian steel tower rose to an impossible height; Deidara couldn't even see halfway up the building in the storm. Intricate steel framework sheathed the entire structure, giving it an eerie, almost menacing aura.
"I'm cold," Deidara whispered as he closed his eyes, hoping to block out some of the chaos around him by separating himself from the sensory feel of it. He felt lost—the same way he felt all those years ago when he first tried to run away from Sasori.
Ten minutes. Deidara was positive. Ten minutes had passed since the man promised to return.
Maybe he has already forgotten about you… who knows? You realize you just let yourself be completely enamored by a promise you could only imagine coming true in your wildest fantasy… No, of course you didn't think of that. You're nothing but a fool… and, perhaps, that's a good thing after all. You find the harsh realities of life are somewhat dulled by being oblivious and numb.
Despite the rain drenching his face—the man had neglected to give Deidara a coat with a hood—Deidara felt a solemn tear slip down his cheek; the drop of liquid distinguishable amidst the countless others.
For, unlike the others, this one was weighed down with sorrow.
The tear followed the curve of his face down to his chin, lingering for a moment on its precipice before dropping off into the void below, the once individual tear now nothing but a splash of water on the flooded concrete.
"It's hard to be alone… isn't it?" A quiet voice—female, by the air to it—murmured, the source of the voice no more than a few steps away.
"Not really," Deidara said without turning his head. He didn't want to give whoever it was the satisfaction of seeing him so broken. "It's just business. You'll pay the price, no matter how steep, in order glimpse your dream. Wouldn't you agree?"
"Not a bad aphorism," the woman chuckled, her voice soft and nearly emotionless. "but, you know, the world has so much more to offer… if one is willing to actually look at the world."
"Why would I waste my time looking at the barren wasteland that I was cultivated from? The world gave me nothing; why should I return the favor by admiring it?"
"Silly child," the woman whispered, "When you look out on these streets, what do you see?"
Deidara opened his eyes, the rain eagerly taking the opportunity to pelt his ocular organs with a barrage of freezing droplets.
Blinking a few times to spare his eyes more trauma, Deidara sighed and looked straight ahead toward the city, the steel grey clouds hanging above the highest buildings in the typical ominous manner.
"Do you really want to know what I see?" Deidara turned around as the last word left his lips, finally facing the owner of the voice.
A small, pale woman, her light cobalt hair cut at neck length, gazed back at him, her piercing amber eyes framed by a valentine shaped face giving him their full attention. She wore a simple black dress, an elegant black fur coat—Deidara hadn't the slightest idea of what animal it could be—cloaking the majority of her body gave her an aura of opulence, and her delicate hands held a paper umbrella above her head.
She was beautiful. One hand left the wooden handle of the umbrella to lightly adjust the azure rose that rested on her head like a precious jewel.
Two thoughts were all that filled Deidara's mind: Why is she talking to me… she looks a little too high class for… this…? and What idiot in their right mind uses a paper umbrella in a monsoon?
"Yes," she smiled, her small lips curving up, "Please tell me what you see."
Deidara turned around, his face burning. Deidara felt so bland and insignificant in her presence, his skinny jeans and black V-neck suddenly reduced to rags.
"I see nothing. Nothing but the cold, merciless city. In a pragmatic view, this rain suits the city perfectly. It strips away all of the glamour and illusion, leaving only the cold clarity of reality."
"I see," the woman said thoughtfully, "Would you like me to tell you what I see?"
"If you want, you may. However, I cannot promise you that I will listen."
"Ah, well then, how could I go about making you listen?"
"I-I… Tell me your name," Deidara said suddenly.
"My name?" The woman inquired, heavy skepticism lacing the words.
"If you tell me your name, I will listen to every words that pass through your lips."
"Very well, we have a deal." The woman giggled. "My name is Konan, and let me enlighten you as to what it is I see in the world." She moved closer to Deidara, leaning her umbrella—Deidara had no idea how it wasn't reduced to tatters by now—over so that it sheltered both of them from the deluge.
This should be good…
"As I recall, you said this city brings you nothing but feelings of pain and remorse? But, is that all that you feel? The world is often cold, painfully so in fact, but, it is only through the pain that true beauty is created…" Konan paused, swiftly and deftly removing the rose form her hair. "Consider the rose. While it rests in the ground, it is seen by no one, noticed by no one. When it sprouts from the ground, it is hated and loathed due to its thorns and maleficent appearance. The rose must survive months of storm, sun, and wind, unnoticed and unappreciated by all… but, when it blossoms, it commands and receives the attention of all who despised it. It becomes a thing of beauty and leaves its dark past behind… The city is but the garden, and we are one of the many flowers; each and every one of us will blossom at a different time… each and every one of us will achieve beauty from pain."
"Of course," Deidara interjected, "The rose wilts shortly after its blossoming, and then it becomes nothing more than a dying wish to be trampled on."
"A fair point," Konan smiled. Deidara gasped as she placed a delicate hand on his cheek, her amber eyes transfixed on his own glacier eyes. "But you will last much longer than a rose." Leaning forward, time seeming to come to a complete standstill, Konan silently placed her lips on Deidara's cheek; the cheek where the tear had cascaded down into oblivion but minutes before.
"Don't let yourself be pulled in by the fear of being forgotten. You are better than that Deidara. There is more too you than you can possibly realize."
A distant, yet loud—loud enough to overpower the screaming of thunder—clanging of a clock rang out across the city, and the woman's face visibly darkened.
"I am afraid I have to leave now. Until we meet again, Deidara."
Deidara could scarcely call out before she disappeared amidst the downpour.
The clanging rang out again, and, in a sudden burst of understanding, Deidara realized that the sound was coming from the top of the tower behind him.
Is this a… clock tower? I didn't know the city had a clock tower… and, wait… did Konan call me Deidara? How could she know my name?
"Deidara," the cloaked man's voice made Deidara jump, a small scream forcing its way past his lips, and, even more surprising, Deidara found himself suddenly enveloped by the arms of the man.
"I'm sorry I took so long," the man apologized profusely. "There were a few… things I had to sort out. Come on, let's get you inside. You're freezing."
Deidara didn't even have the energy to retort; plus, he was deeply grateful for the warmth the man gave him.
The man ushered Deidara inside the great onyx doors, and, as they walked inside Deidara noted that, aside from the lights, everything was a shade or hue of black.
A lone elevator waited at the end of the hallway, two flights of stairs framing both sides, and Deidara noticed that, aside from himself and the shrouded man, there was no sign of life.
"Doesn't anyone else live here?" Deidara asked.
"No," The man assured, "No one could unless I gave them permission to do so."
"What do you mean… do you—"
"—Own this building? Yes. It isn't my favorite property, but it is one of the more secluded ones. I'm sure you will find everything to your liking."
For once, Deidara was speechless. He couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that a single man owned a structure as large and as grand as this.
The man guided him to the elevator, escorted him inside, and, after pressing the TOP FLOOR button, reassumed his position behind Deidara and wrapped his arms around him once more.
The rode in silence the whole way up… not even the chattering of Deidara's teeth breaking the calm.
The elevator pinged, and the man grabbed Deidara by the hand and led him out of the elevator and into perhaps the most beautiful room Deidara had ever seen.
"What… what is this place?" Deidara said in awe.
"This is my house… well… penthouse I guess. This doesn't really qualify as a real house."
My ass. This place is fantastic.
"Alright," the man said, clasping his hands together, "You need to go take a hot shower to drive away some of that chill, and I need to go get your room ready." The man paused, red eyes locking on Deidara; the expression, to Deidara, seemed to be embarrassment.
"I assume you would like your own bed to sleep in?" the man said awkwardly.
"Actually, no…" Deidara murmured. "I'd rather not stay in this place alone tonight… if you don't mind."
"Oh no, not at all," the man assured. "I promise it will be strictly platonic. There will be no advances of any kind made."
Deidara laughed. You know, for a scary, inhuman, cloak-wearing freak, he is kind of cute.
"Thank you, even though that's my job…" Deidara teased.
"Forget about the past," the man said with a sudden seriousness. "I will protect you now…"
There was a long moment of awkward silence, and Deidara decided to be the one to end it.
"Umm, could you show me where the bathroom is please?" Deidara asked, each word as tenuous as the surface of a bubble.
"Of course!" The man exclaimed; clearly, he was just as eager as Deidara was to put an end to the tension.
The man led him to the bathroom, which Deidara believed would be more accurately labeled as a house, due to the fact that it was bigger than Sasori's entire apartment.
"I will be waiting for you on the couch you saw when we came in… assuming you saw the couch… if you didn't that's fine… I can wait somewhere else… I-I… I'm just going to quit while I'm behind."
"I know where the couch is," Deidara giggled. "I will be out shortly. Just let me rinse off."
"Okay… have at it then…" The man stammered before leaving.
Deidara stripped out of his clothes and tossed them aside as he stepped into the shower.
After a few long, arduous moments of feeling worthless, Deidara figured out how to work the shower, and, as the warms streams of water cascaded down on him, he let out a low sigh.
This… feels… amazing.
Deidara quickly showered, using—despite the guilt that weighed down on him—the man's expensive shampoo and conditioner, and washing his body with a cool smelling soap. I'll shave tomorrow…
It would take far too long, and there was only about half a millimeter of hair on his legs anyway.
Drying off and putting on a black silk robe that the man had left out for him, Deidara quickly made his way back into the living room.
"Ah, you have returned," the man said warmly, "Come with me. I will take you to the bedroom… platonically speaking."
Inky black tendrils, zealously enveloping me in their cold embrace, forcing my mind out of the sweet numbness that I so craved… forcing me into lucidity. Still, I am drug deeper and deeper into the murky depths, the sea of darkness roiling, eager to swallow me up and send me down into the shadowy depths. A word graces my lips, lazily taking wing off my tongue, the sound not quite coming to life as the fluid darkness filled my throat. I screamed, my voice catching in my throat, the blackness sinking into my lungs forming an impassable wall that my feeble voice had no hope of breaching. Slowly, the darkness swallowed me completely, my arms useless at my sides, my legs already numb, as if they were no longer a part of my body, hanging uselessly beneath my body, which was also already consumed by the ocean of shadow. The darkness engulfed me; I was swallowed up in its cavernous maw… a single ice-blue eye, a glittering glacier refusing to submit to the overwhelming will of the ocean, gazing up into the twilight sky above me… a somber tear slipping from my eye, devoured by the liquid night that I had somehow abstained—the glacial eye gazing up into the heavens the only reward I had to show for my effort, the only proof of my adamantine resolve.
I blinked away tears at the hopelessness of it all… the futility of my valiant opposition. This wasn't a victory—it was hardly a gain of ground… I had merely managed to halt the inevitable… I had brought my ever-looming demise to a standstill; however, this was meaningless. The threads of time would still continue in their eternal dance… the coiling and twisting of new realities did not concern me. I was resigned to my fate…There was no escape…
And suddenly, the man shrouded in shadow, his eyes two rubies glittering with empathy in the fading twilight, was above me, his feet just a hairsbreadth away from the surface of my blasphemous prison.
"Look at you…" the man mused as his cloak billowed and twirled… although there was no wind, his words laced with sincere sympathy, "You haven't had a friend in the world—no one has ever tried to fight for you… and yet… here you are… still persisting—existing.
My lips twisted into a macabre smirk, though, as they were already claimed by the darkness, the man would have no way of sensing the expression.
"And why would I give up?" He had no way of hearing the words—how could he? My voice was powerless, a second consciousness stricken with panic, fluttering around my mind in a vain attempt to find a way to escape… to be…
"Free…?" The man supplied, his voice sewn with pity… "That's all you've ever really wanted… isn't it? To be free…? You just never had the chance…"
"Never… not a chance in hell… trapped within a prison where I saw the gate to freedom everyday… so close yet so hopeless unreachable…" What did this man know? He was mocking me; laughing at me and my chains… He had come here only to gloat—to flaunt his own freedom in front of me as my last finger clinging to life slipped away… as I fell into the void…
"Take my hand…" The man said softly, eyes warm and welcoming as he stretched a hand down to me. "I can free you… I can sever the ties that bind you… the tithes you have that compel you to remain in this place…"
"I… I-I can't… don't you see…? I cannot reach out to you… You are so far away…"
"But I'm right here… Deidara, take my hand…" The man was more forceful now, his fingertips plunging into the blackness that enveloped me, searching for a tangible part of me—something to grab ahold of.
"No… no, no no… NO! Mother… Father… why are you not here? This man desires to hurt me… please… you've never been here for me… ever… I can't protect myself… he wants to take your son… your child…"
"Don't be ridiculous, Deidara…" the man said, desperation rising in his voice, fear alighting in the depths of his crimson eyes. "You will be safe… just let me help you…"
"You shall not harm him… he is our son… you will NOT touch him…"
"You have no control over me…" The man laughed darkly, his voice suddenly harsh, edged with malice and hatred. "This place may be where you have power over the boy, but you will find that I am not so easily tamed…" The man laughed, a wild look in his eyes, and, the entire heartbeat of the realm seeming to grow still, he brought his hands together, a dark and arcane power spreading from them.
The world seemed to shatter; the blackness draining away until I was floating in an endless void of white. The man stood by me, eyes regarding me with solemn interest.
"It isn't time for you yet… Your chains are too strong… you have to let go of this place if you are to be free…
"But… t-this is all I know… it may be cold… I may be alone… but this is the only place where Mother and Father can watch over me… This is the only place their love can reach me…" My voice had returned, albeit weak and practically inaudible, each word a mere echo of a whisper.
"Then you will never be free," the man said coldly. There was a brilliant flash, my vision darkening, and I was swallowed back up by the darkness.
Tobi gazed at Deidara's sleeping form, his eyes softening as the young blonde curled up in his sleep.
"The dream must have been too much for him to handle in his current state," Tobi sighed. "At this rate, I won't be able to help him anytime soon. His former self is all but gone…"
Tentatively, he stretched out a hand, his arm shaking as his outstretched fingers neared Deidara's face.
One touch. That was all he needed. One single touch. All he wanted was to feel Deidara's skin… one touch would make up for all those years of all-encompassing solitude.
But, he couldn't bring himself to do it.
His arm fell limply at his side, his crimson irises becoming shadowed with grief. It wasn't right. If he did this now, he would be no better in Deidara's eyes than all the men before him… Tobi knew the answer; it resonated deep in his heart, echoed in his entire being.
He would have to let things happen on their own accord.
But how much time was left? How much longer would he be allowed to watch over Deidara? The leader of the Akatsuki had given him permission to free Deidara from Sasori… but how much time would pass before Tobi was called to return.
And what if he had to return… without Deidara…
The thought terrified him…
Deidara stirred, rousing Tobi out of the depths of his thoughts. He turned his gaze back to Deidara, whose arms were coiled tightly around his legs, hugging his knees to his chest.
"Deidara…" Tobi whispered, his voice barely audible above Deidara's soft breathing.
Deidara's eye flashed open, much to Tobi's surprise. He wasn't quite sure how Deidara had heard him, but, since he had gone as far as to disturb his sleep, he might as well give Deidara a reason.
"What…? What is it?" Deidara mumbled groggily.
"You were tossing in your sleep," Tobi whispered, leaning in so that his lips almost grazed Deidara's ear, "I feared you were having a nightmare."
"It was nothing," Deidara smiled wearily, "I'm probably still just a little chilled from the rain." Deidara sat up quickly and hugged Tobi. "Goodnight, and thank you so much for all that you have done for me…"
"Goodnight… Deidara…" Tobi said, though his mind was now distant and in a daze.
His body radiated warmth from where Deidara had hugged him.
It was as if, for the first time in countless years, that something had managed to pierce through the immortal winter that had kept Tobi's soul and heart mere ice and, if only for a moment, Tobi had felt what it was to be truly alive again…