A/N: Okay, be really proud of me, because I had surgery and I still managed to update xD So... if the chapter kind of slips off near the end, it's because I was on mad drugs when I wrote it. Even now, I'm really dizzy, but I have a busy week/weekend, so I wanted to get it finished as soon as possible. Be lenient with me on this one :) Anyway, I'm going to go take a nap xD Also, in some of your reviews, you have questions as to what and why stuff is happening. I can't reveal a lot of it yet, but it will tie in, I promise... Unless I forget about it. Anyway :3 R&R please :3 tell me how I'm doing. Oh! About Tobi's personality change. Don't chastise me on that yet. I will explain it in a future chapter. Okay? Okay. Peace ^_^ I once again apologize for any confusion this chapter might inflict upon you.

SoleixDeidara

Missing

The room was black… the darkness blocking out all but thought… and yet, Deidara knew things… impossible things. He knew that he lay on his back, facing the high ceiling with a slurred expression. He knew that to his left, approximately ten meters away from his current position, a small table, papers scattered on its surface, rested in the blackness. He knew, with a cold chill creeping over his body at the revelation, that, aside from himself, there was no life in the room…

He opened his lips to call out, but, a sudden flare blossoming in his mind, he knew that it would be folly; something told him that, whatever it was that had woken him up had more depth to it than a simple sound.

Quick movements were a mistake; if he moved summarily in any way, the tenuous strand that kept him connecting to the compelling force would dissipate—fade into oblivion—and Deidara would be left alone in the dark without the slightest preconception.

Myself… I will ensure that my body is my own. Deidara placed his hands on his chest, the skin lithe and tight, and, with slow, meticulous grace, he slid his hands down to his waist, the familiar jutting ribcage and hipbones reassuring his mind.

He has yet to see me naked… I wonder if he would think differently of me should he see the ravages of my disorder.

Deidara's pale skin was pressed tightly against his ribs, each bone accentuated and pronounced. His hipbones rose in sharp hills formed from his flesh; his collar bones practically sharp enough to slice the ozone.

He was, in essence, a living skeleton. Half alive, half dead—a goddess of skin and bone.

Would he be angry…? Would he find me repulsive…? He couldn't… those words…

Deidara stopped his thoughts, the reality of his situation finally sinking in. He had practically thrown his entire life into the hands of some complete stranger; he didn't even know the man's name from fuck's sake.

So, so stupid… Did you even think? Did you even… calm down… just calm down… having a mental breakdown won't help anyone.

Deidara's thoughts were once more interrupted as his stomach protested its neglect.

A cruel smile spread across Deidara's lips; he delighted in denying himself the fuel to live—his body was compelled to move through sheer force of will every day.

A shower perhaps? No…

Deidara was now confident in his situation. He could easily navigate the darkened penthouse; it wasn't a matter of elimination, Deidara knew exactly where he needed to go.

He wanted answers. Now.

As he sat up from the bed, the silken sheets curling around his wrists, begging him to stay and slip back into their warm embrace, Deidara's head spun—he hadn't eaten anything in over three days. He knew he couldn't keep going on at this rate, but food was the last thing on his mind.

He stood up, his bare feet pressing against the chilled marble beneath him, and, clutching the robe to his body for one last time, he let his only safeguard from the piercing chill of the penthouse slip from his body into a snow white pool around his feet.

The cold was brutal; his entire being screamed at Deidara to retreat to the safety and warmth of the silk fortress behind him, but Deidara wasn't about to let a little discomfort get in his way.

Why would he leave in the middle of the night…? He just left me… Could he be off luring some other fool here… what if… what if I'm just one of many…? And the others are locked up here somewhere…

Deidara hissed in disgust as the thought entered his mind. It was highly implausible, but Deidara knew next to nothing about the man who had "saved" him. For all he knew, he could just be another victim in this man's game…

Konan…

The woman had seemed quite omnipotent in her own respect. Perhaps, she knew more than Deidara did in this. At the time, it hadn't seemed to be of any significance, but she was the only other person Deidara had seen outside of the building.

That was strange for a city where, even in the dead of night, there were always numerous souls going about their business.

And then there was the fact that the man had said no one else was in the building… if he owned it and no one else lived in it, for what reason did he need to go "check things out" before Deidara was permitted to enter…

Nothing was adding up; Deidara had far more questions than answers.

It was as if the thin scrim of ice that he had long revered as the "known" had shattered beneath his feet, and now Deidara was treading water in a sea of the unknown and the unfamiliar.

A light entered Deidara's thoughts, and, with a startling revelation, Deidara realized he heard voices… both were very faint, but Deidara was sure one belonged to the man.

He tried to move toward the sound… the light that held all the answers, but Deidara found himself paralyzed.

The world around him seemed to blur—his body almost going numb. Suddenly, Deidara didn't control his own being… he didn't control anything. He just existed.

A sudden inhalation filled him with purpose once more; the glacial air cutting his throat as it entered his lungs. The pain drug him from his reverie and feeling flooded back through him.

Swallowing another intake of oxygen, Deidara took a tentative step forward, the frigid air filling his lungs and forcing him into clairvoyant alertness once more.

He was but a brittle skeleton, a wasted shell of a human, slowly dragging itself across the floor of a beautiful palace, and, at the end of the great hall, the truth sat upon the throne, awaiting his arrival.

The only thing that kept him moving was his fiery determination; it blossomed from the pit of his heart and billowed out through his body, fighting back the oppressive chill.

Deidara tried to take another step forward, however, to his horror, he couldn't move. He tried again, but, with each step he took, he only seemed to stay in the same place.

"Having trouble?" an all-too-familiar voice chuckled behind him. Deidara turned his head slowly, the fire in his heart spluttering out as his ice-blue eyes met the stony gaze of Sasori's own.

Pale blue strings flowing from Sasori's fingers were strung through the air, each thread connecting itself somewhere along Deidara's body.

"You… shouldn't be here…" Deidara whispered in disbelief. His own body threatened to betray him, blackness surrounding the edges of his vision; he wasn't completely sure how long he could force himself to stay conscious.

"You shouldn't have left," Sasori said evenly, his chestnut eyes holding nothing but pity and contempt for the creature before him.

"You don't own me," Deidara murmured. "You never did. Why are you surprised I took the first chance I got to escape from that hell…?" Deidara's words hung in the air for a moment, Sasori's bored expression only fueling the hatred that was steadily finding its way to the surface.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Deidara asked, unable to hide the shakiness from his voice.

Sasori let out a small laugh. "You really are stupid, Deidara." Deidara longed to lunge forward, wrap his skeletal hands around Sasori, and squeeze his neck until his bony fingers pierced the flesh and his life-blood spilled out across the floor, but he could only glare at Sasori, the strings proving to be a sufficient form of immobilization.

"You really thought that what you went through with me was hell?" Sasori asked, his words brooding with darkness. "You have no idea what hell is, little boy. You think all of this will save you? Do you really think that you can starve away your emotions? Do you think a pretty face and body will come to your rescue? Do you think that one day you will get some huge break and all of your suffering will suddenly have been for a purpose?"

Sasori paused, his eyes gauging Deidara's expression, but Deidara knew that his face held nothing; he didn't want to hear Sasori's words. If he heard them, there was a chance that they could become a reality.

No, as long as he was numb to Sasori's existence, he couldn't hurt him. He wasn't here. This was a phantom, a ghost, an apparition. The only power he had over Deidara was metaphysical. He couldn't harm him if he didn't acknowledge him.

Sasori chuckled, and, with the grace of a tiger stalking its prey, he slithered over to Deidara, leaning in so close that his lips brushed his ear.

"I'll let you in on a little secret." Sasori whispered. "The world is fucked up. Nothing you or I could ever do will change that. Some people are born lucky and some people have to claw their way to the top. They have to give everything they have for a chance… and sometimes it pays off, other times it bombs in their face and they stand amid the ashes and ruins of their former life wondering what went wrong. But you, you will remain what you have always been: a frightened little child whose only reassurance is the cruel touch of an older man and the piercing hunger that makes you feel alive. You have nothing, you are nothing, and you will always be nothing. Don't think that this man is your salvation, because, deep down, you and I are exactly the same. Do you really think anyone will give a fuck if some anorexic teen winds up dead in a bathroom? You're just another obituary that no one looks twice at. Remember that…"

Tears stream down Deidara's face, his hands clutch his ears; Deidara is desperate to block out any sound that comes from the ghost.

He isn't real. He isn't real. He isn't real. He isn't real. Nothing he says can hurt me. Nothing he says is truth. He is the shroud of lies that sits before the throne of truth. This is a test. He isn't real. He isn't real. HE ISN'T REAL.

"I'm not going away, Deidara." Sasori cooed. "Why would I leave you all alone again? I just found you. I just want to make you feel safe…"

"You aren't real."

"But I am real, dear Deidara."

"You aren't real. You can't be real. I left you alone back in hell. You can't follow me. You couldn't fly out of that pit."

"Angels aren't the only ones with wings, Deidara."

"Leave."

"No—"

"LEAVE! YOU AREN'T WELCOME HERE. I LEFT YOU. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY IN HELL. DEMONS AREN'T ALLOWED IN HEAVEN. WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU JUST STAY IN THE GROUND WHERE YOU BELONG…"

Deidara knew he had screamed those words—he had failed the test. The light of truth went out. The man would come into the room soon to figure out why Deidara had screamed, and Deidara would be back where he started: a frigid, half-alive corpse lying in a bed that was soiled by his impurity.

"Now, see, there you are. The real Deidara. This isn't you. You belong with me. You belong next to me. You belong to me. I had thought I'd lost you, but I knew better than that. No amount of glamour will ever wash away the ugly sins beneath your skin. Until next time, Deidara."

Sasori vanished, and, with him, the strings holding Deidara faded from existence. The last thing Deidara remembered before he crashed to the ground was a man rushing into the room, raven black hair framing a pale face and crimson eyes filled with worry…

"I'm worried about him," Tobi sighed, pulling his hooded cloak back over his face. "He shouldn't be this unstable… should he?"

The cobalt-haired woman eyes Tobi with a steeled gaze. "It's only been one day," Konan sighed, "Deidara is bound to be struggling with some repressed inner-turmoil. The best thing you can do for him now is to let him rest."

"But I—"

"—LEAVE! YOU AREN'T WELCOME HERE. I LEFT YOU. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY IN HELL. DEMONS AREN'T ALLOWED IN HEAVEN. WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU JUST STAY IN THE GROUND WHERE YOU BELONG…"

The words pierced the silent atmosphere of the night. Tobi was on his feet immediately. He ran into the bedroom where Deidara was sleeping.

Deidara's eyes, fogged over and laden with tears, briefly locked onto Tobi's own before shutting tight as he fell to the ground.

"Shit," Tobi cursed. Deidara was in terrible condition. His bone-thin body was covered in bruises; he looked as if Tobi would break him with a single touch.

"What's wrong," Konan asked as she step daintily into the room, "Is he… oh dear…"

She clearly shared Tobi's sentiments. Deidara was a wreck. His skin was nearly paper-white and his body still convulsed slightly.

"I don't know…" Tobi said slowly, "Could you heal him? Is there anything you can do?"

"Tobi… no. He would only have more questions. You need to familiarize him with all of this slowly. He…"

She trailed off, and Tobi noticed her lips sink into a deep frown.

"He's been here…" Konan sighed, a single tear leaking from her eye.

"What? How…? This place is far too heavily safeguarded for him to enter, even through projection."

"Don't you smell it? The desert. You can almost feel the draining heat. It's no wonder Deidara is such a mess. His body is already under enough self-induced trauma. The sheer power of Sasori's aura no doubt rendered him helpless."

"That doesn't make sense…" Tobi cursed. "You and I would have felt him immediately…"

"Unless he had help…" Konan muttered. "There are some powerful beings out there… Many of which want you dead, Tobi."

Tobi waved a dismissive hand at the woman, her amber eyes not leaving his own crimson.

"You know I can protect Deidara. Please… don't ask me to let him go…"

"Tobi… if that were true, Sasori wouldn't have been able to get in… Maybe I should just ask Naga—"

"—NO! Please. I know he needs Deidara to remember everything as soon as possible. But, he can't yet. He isn't ready. You know how he is. He will rush everything, and Deidara will wind up hating the organization… and me…"

"You are being childish, Tobi." Konan chastised. "You need to think of the greater good. I know you can't bear to have him not be stricken in love with you, but there are more important matters at hand."

"Get out Konan." Tobi said, his face a mask of stone.

"The truth hurts, does it?" Konan chuckled darkly. "You can't handle the fact that all of this happened because of your stupid mistake? He gave everything for you… he sacrificed his being for you… and now you don't want him to remember who he is because he might not love you anymore?"

"Please… Konan… I'm sorry… I don't want to lose him again…"

Konan gazed at the raven-haired man, her eyes widening as she realized that tears flowed from the corner of each eye.

"I will be back." Konan said sternly, "Tomorrow, you will tell him your name. The next day, you may simply spend time with him. After that, I expect you to begin his induction. Time is running out. Naga… Pain grows impatient."

"He will get what he wants." Tobi hissed. "Just let me get to know Deidara again… It's been so long."

"I will return, Tobi. Do not disappoint me." Konan turned to leave, but she stopped, her hand lingering in the doorway. "I love you Tobi. All I want is for you to be happy, but… you need to understand that some things are out of our control…"

"He sacrificed his world for me. I can at least do the same."

"Until I return… enjoy him, Tobi. I haven't seen you happy in years. It's… nice…"

Tobi heard the familiar flutter of a thousand wings and Konan disappeared from the room.

"…I won't give up on you Deidara," Tobi said, clutching the teen's head to his chest. "You're in there somewhere… I know it… I'm coming for you…"

Deidara opened his eyes, the previously pitch-black room now flooded with white sunlight. He hadn't really had the chance to properly look around the previous night;

Sitting up slowly, Deidara noticed that the cloaked man seemed to be nowhere in sight once more.

"Umm… hello?" Deidara called out, "Are you here… umm, sir?" Deidara's words echoed for a moment against the onyx walls before ebbing away into silence. "I guess he isn't here. Oh well, I think I am going to shower again."

Deidara's memory of the previous night was hazy at best. He remembered strings… and there were piercing brown eyes. And of course there was the freezing cold. Nothing else really made sense—it was just blank thoughts.

Deidara jumped out of the silken sheets, wincing as his bones jarred as he hit the floor, and quickly made his way to the bathroom—the only place in the penthouse he was sure he could navigate himself to.

Deidara slipped off his robe, neatly folding and placing it on the ground beside the bathroom door. I think that should suffice… if he sees it, he will know I am in the bathroom.

Wearing nothing but his tight black underwear, Deidara eased open the door and strode into the bathroom, letting out an inaudible scream as his eyes drank in the scene.

A pale, raven haired man faced away from him, the sinewy muscles on his back rippling and contorting as he maneuvered a white towel around his body, turning around as he brought the towel to his face and began to feverously dry his hair.

Deidara couldn't breathe, his face felt hot, and his only goal in life at that moment was to avoid looking down. The man's body was as close to perfect physical condition as Deidara could imagine, each muscle pronounced but not past the point of subtlety.

"I'm sorry." Deidara finally managed to stammer. The man jumped as he heard Deidara's voice, quickly moving the towel from his hair to his waist, and Deidara found himself gazing into a pair of crimson eyes.

"You know," the man panted, no doubt his heart beating off into the sky, "There is such a thing as knocking…"

Deidara was speechless. All he could do was stare at the man, which didn't exactly help the situation.

"Umm… should I go?" Deidara asked, his cheeks burning slightly colder than the sun.

"No, no," The man laughed, "by all means stay here. The damage has been done."

"But… you're naked…" Deidara stammered. Wait… why should I care if he's naked… wasn't the whole point of this for me to have sex with him? He did pay for me after all…

"I can fix that," the man laughed, "if you want me to."

"Well, I could look at you if you did that." Deidara laughed, making the point to mime shielding his eyes with his hands.

"What's wrong?" the man asked, a wounded tone in his voice, "you don't like the view." As if to exaggerate the point, the man swiveled his hips back and forth.

At that point, Deidara's cheeks were hot enough to boil water.

"Umm… I'm just going to curl up and die… okay?"

"I'm sorry," the man said. He quickly toweled off and slipped on some under armor tights… which didn't really help hide what was between his legs.

"Better?"

"Well, I can still see everything, but I guess that counts."

The man laughed, quickly coming over and scooping up a petrified Deidara in his arms, and, with expert speed and grace coupled with ignoring a certain blonde's protests, the man maneuvered through the house until they were in the living room.

"Alright," the man chuckled as he set Deidara down on the couch, "I am going to answer a few of your questions."

Deidara was surprised. He had fully believed that the man was going to ask him to start giving him his "money's-worth."

"Umm, okay…" The first question was simple; it was something Deidara had been dying to know ever since he had first stepped into the car outside Sasori's apartment.

"What is your name?"

"Tobi. Next."

Deidara repeated he word a few times, the sound rolling off his tongue almost familiar. Alright, that was painless.

"Are you planning for us to have sex anytime soon?" Deidara said bluntly. "After all, you paid five grand for me. You'd have to be some kind of idiot to just do that and expect nothing in return."

Tobi pondered this for a moment. "I won't lie and say I don't want to have sex with you; I mean, seriously, every urge in my body is telling me to wrap myself around you right now, but, I want you to respect me and therefore I must respect you. I will not ask you to do anything you aren't comfortable with. Fair enough?"

Deidara swallowed hard. It wouldn't take much persuasion from this guy to get him into bed, but Deidara was glad that he cared so much.

"Alright… one more." Tobi smiled.

I have to make this one count…

"Why did you do all of this?" Deidara asked. The question was simple, but there could be a hundred different ways Tobi could interpret it. Any answer was fine as long as it satisfied Deidara's query.

"You want the truth?" Tobi chuckled softly. Deidara nodded. "Because I love you."

"Why do you love me?"

"Ah, ah, ah," Tobi smirked, "that was your last question."

Deidara cursed silently. He had fallen for that one. However, there was nothing more he could do. Tobi had been more than fair to answer any of his questions.

Deidara would have to wait until another opportunity came along to learn more about this mysterious guy.

"Now, I have a question for you?"

"Go on," Deidara smiled.

"I won't pretend like I haven't noticed your body…" Tobi began. "Those bruises… where did you get them… and why are you so thin?"

Deidara sighed. He hated serious discussions… especially when they pertained to his own well-being.

"Sasori beat me quite often," Deidara laughed softly, though there was no humor in the sound, "And as for why I am so skinny, I starve myself. The constant physical pain and emptiness numbs the strength that emotion has over me. I become less human, and therefore I become immune to the ties of humanity. And, I just so happen to become closer to perfection every time I refuse myself. I don't expect you to understand. Anorexia has been my anesthetic for countless years. It's like an old friend that will always take me back when I have nowhere else to go… I guess that's it… God I ramble on too much."

Deidara looked up at Tobi, whose crimson eyes were brimming with sorrow.

"I'm sorry. I had no idea." Tobi said slowly. The words were caring, but there was a deep, brooding hatred lying dormant just beneath the surface.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to anger you." Deidara sighed.

"You didn't." Tobi assured, "I'm just… upset I couldn't have saved you from Sasori sooner."

"You saved me now… that's all that matters."

Tobi visibly brightened as Deidara said those words, a perfect while smile spreading across his face.

"Alright, I have one more question for you?"

"Okay, what is it?" Deidara sighed softly.

"What do you want for lunch?"

A/N: SURPRISE! TWO A/N'S. Okay. This is just to say thank you for sticking with me on this. I'm so busy :( and I feel really bad that this story is going so slow, but I just want it to be... idk... worth reading. Things will pick up soon. Okay, I've rambled long enough. If you have any questions PM me, or better yet, leave it in a review :3

(P.S. 21 FREAKING REVIEWS FOR TWO CHAPTERS?! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST.))

(P.S.S. I am obsessed with Lana Del Rey currently, so expect music of her to be in the chapters.