Blair tried to relax in her plush first class seat, waiting for the plane to take off. She desperately wanted to take Valium, but Dr. Barnes had warned her against taking it while pregnant. Apparently, it caused miscarriages. Rather ironic, she thought, given that the doctor wanted to surgically rip her baby out of her womb and murder it instead.
Her poor baby. Her little girl. Not even her daddy was trying to save her. "It's okay baby," Blair whispered to her belly. "I'll protect you." But it broke her heart that Chuck wouldn't. She couldn't imagine Harold allowing Eleanor to have an abortion. Not Daddy. He loved her too much. Why couldn't Chuck love her daughter as much as Harold loved his? She knew Chuck wasn't the unfeeling monster that everyone thought he was, but it was moments like these that made her question him.
Chuck was hurting her too. He knew that it crushed her when she lost Grace. She couldn't lose another baby. It would be too painful. Just the thought of another tiny coffin was enough to make her cry. Whether this pregnancy killed her or not, she knew she wouldn't survive if this baby died. She wouldn't kill herself deliberately; there would be no Serena worthy dramatic overdose or slit wrists. She would simply fade away until one day she just ceased to live.
Chuck was frantically packing with the help of his valet, Owen. He had to catch her before she left France. He knew it would be the first place she would go. It would be either to Paris with Eleanor and Cyrus or to Harold and Roman's vineyard. He suspected she would go to her mother first and then to Harold. But he had to catch her in France, because after that he had no idea where she would go.
"Daddy, can we go to the zoo? It's something Theo can do too so...Where are you going?" Henry asked, bouncing onto the bed.
Chuck sighed. He would not be able to hide this from Henry much longer. He was five, much too old to be kept in the dark. Theo, on the other hand, could be sheltered from this storm. He was only 13 months and hopefully wouldn't remember any of this.
Chuck sat down on the bed and pulled Henry into his lap. "Henry, do you remember how sad you were when Monkey had to go night-night forever? And how you wanted to sleep in our bed so your nightmares weren't so scary?" They had to put Monkey down a year ago after he was diagnosed with cancer.
Henry nodded. "He was sick so the doctor had to make him sleep always. But you said we could get a new doggy. And now we have Ducky, and I'm not so sad about Monkey anymore."
"Well, today when we went to the doctor, she told Maman and I that the baby in her tummy is sick. And that baby has to go night-night forever too. Maman is really sad right now, so she decided to go see her Maman and Daddy,"
"Poor Maman," Henry said. "But she can get a new baby, and then she won't feel so sad anymore."
Chuck was at a loss. How could he explain that no amount of new babies could ever replace the one they were about to lose? How could he tell a kindergartener that even though he wanted to think of the baby as a parasite that was killing Blair, he couldn't quite do it? Wiping his eyes (he must have gotten dust in them from the suitcases), he tried to think of the right way to explain this to Henry. "That's right, Hen," he finally said. "But it'll still make her sad, just like how thinking about Monkey still makes you sad too. No other baby can replace this one, but another baby could help her to feel better, just like Ducky did."
"So where are you going then?" Henry asked.
"I'm going to France too. I need to be with your mother," Chuck explained.
"But who will stay with me? Aunt Serena has Sadie and Uncle Eric is unresponsive-"
"Irresponsible," Chuck corrected with a smile. Last time Eric had watched the kids, Henry threw up for two days afterward due to the amount of sweets he had been permitted to consume.
"That's what I said! And Grandma and William are skiing, so there's no one left to come here!" Henry finished.
"You can stay with Rachel," Chuck offered, zipping up his last suitcase and handing it to Owen, who had a town car waiting outside for him.
"NO!" Henry screamed, latching on to Chuck's legs. "NO NO NO NO NO!"
It tore Chuck's heart out to see and hear Henry's distress, but Henry was his mother's son. He had to be cold and unaffected, or Henry would sense his weakness and capitalize on it. "Henry, stop your crying this instant. Your mother needs me right now, and you need to stay here. I need you to be a good big brother to Theo and behave for Rachel. Maman and I will be home before you know it."
Henry's kicking and screaming continued, but Chuck simply picked him up and carried him to the playroom, where Rachel was building block towers that Theo gleefully knocked down.
"Rachel, I don't know when I'll be back. I'll text you when I have more information," Chuck said, placing Henry down on the floor. "I love you, Henry. I love you, Theo. I'll be back as soon as I can." With Henry's cries still filling his ears, he exited the townhouse, ready to find Blair.
Blair hesitantly rang the doorbell to her mother and Cyrus's townhouse. It was four in the morning, much too late (or early, depending on how you looked at it) to be bothering them. Blair had considered checking into a hotel, but she couldn't be alone right now.
After a few minutes, Cyrus appeared in his bathrobe. "Blair?" he questioned, rubbing his eyes. "What's wrong honey?"
When he pulled her into a hug, the tears started all over again. "My baby," she sobbed. "Chuck wants me to- he- the doctor-" she tried to explain, but couldn't find the words.
"Why don't we get you into bed? Everything will seem so much better in the morning, when you're well rested and have had time to think."
He guided her into her bedroom and helped her lay down on the bed. Opening her suitcase, he retrieved a soft pink nightgown. "I'll go get Eleanor," he said before gently closing the door behind him. Blair absentmindedly stared up at the ceiling until her mother appeared in the doorway to help her dress for bed, something she could not remember Eleanor doing ever - not even when she was very young. Pulling back the duvet, she helped Blair to settle in before tucking the blankets around her and kissing her on the head.
"Mommy?" Blair called, just as she was about to walk out the door. The endearment was foreign to her tongue, but now it seemed so fitting.
"Yes Blair?" she asked tentatively, walking back to sit on the bed beside Blair.
"Was it something I did?" she whispered, retreating further under the covers. "Is there a reason I can't have girls?"
"Oh darling," Eleanor said, "you had me so concerned. The next baby will be a girl, or the one after that. It's nothing to fret about."
Blair rolled over on her side, turning her back to her mother and effectively closing the conversation. How stupid she had been to open herself up to Eleanor, even for a just a minute. For all Cyrus's work to make Eleanor a better mother, she was still the same woman she had been. She would never truly understand Blair the way she should.
Eleanor would never understand her, not the way Chuck did.
Only an hour after Blair had appeared on the Roses' doorstep, a black stretch limo pulled up outside. Checking his phone and seeing that it was only 5 a.m. local time, he decided it would be rude to wake the entire household, especially if his instincts were wrong and Blair had gone to her father's.
Instead of ringing the doorbell, he let himself in using the spare key that Eleanor had given them. Slowly opening the door as not to wake the sleeping occupants, he blindly stumbled about the darkened home, searching for the room that he and Blair always stayed in. After stubbing his foot on a table, a desk, and a chair, as well as knocking Eleanor's prized Ming vase off said table and barely catching it, he finally found the door he knew would lead to Blair's room.
He was greeted with the sight of her petite frame swathed in blankets, making her appear even smaller than she was. Loosening his tie and slipping off his shoes, he pulled back the mountain of blankets and slid in behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist.
And as mad as Blair was, she instinctively snuggled backwards towards him in her sleep.
Blair awoke in the late afternoon, puzzled by her surroundings. The deep reds and creams of the bedroom were all wrong. Their bedroom was purple and gold. And she had the strangest dream about a baby and an abortion and - then it all came rushing back. The doctor's office, Chuck's sad but resigned face, leaving for France. But if she left Chuck, who was laying in bed behind her? She rolled over to find her husband gazing at her, his grip tightening as her eyes widened in shock.
"Chuck?"
A/N: Sorry for the delay in this chapter! I will try to post once a week from now on. Thank you again to everyone who has read, followed, favorited, and reviewed. How do you think Blair will react to Chuck being in Paris? Let me know in a review!