"Brother! Brother, look what I found!"

Alphonse Elric came running over to his older brother, a dirty thing cupped into his massive gauntlets. Edward Elric cautiously took the thing from Al's hands.

It was a rusty, old golden tea kettle or something.

"Al, what is this?" Ed said bluntly.

"There's something written on the side, but I can't read it," Al supplied. "I thought you could clean it or something. It might have something about the Philosopher's Stone!" Ed sighed.

"Al, that's a long shot and you know it," he scolded lightly, though he couldn't deny that the tea kettle looked pretty curious with the ancient-looking runes on the side. Al sighed gustily, the strange sound resounding in his armored body.

"I know... But it looked so cool just sitting in the sand..." If a suit of armor could whine, Al was accomplishing that with flying colors. Ed cringed at the pleading tone to Al's voice.

"Fine, I'll fix the fucking kettle!" he growled, dropping the said thing onto the table and clapping his hands. He lightly touched it, and it flashed with blue lightning for a split second before the rust disappeared. Ed took his hands away and picked up the now-not-rusty-but-still-filthy kettle.

"Argh, I still can't read it!" he growled, using his glove to try and wipe away some of the dirt that was encrusting the kettle's surface.

He instantly regretted it as the kettle shot out of his hands, glowing with an eerie red light. Sparks shot out of its spout, and Ed fumbled to grab it again. It proved to be a struggle as bluish smoke poured out of it, forming into a gigantic cloud that had yellow specks sparkling within it.

As Ed and Al watched in horror, a body shape made itself known in the blue smoke. Arms with gold bracelets encircling their wrists stretched high into the air. A face popped out of the cloud. A torso formed just as the last of the blue smoke disappeared, with a ghost-like projection instead of legs. A goatee sat on the blue face, only making this whole thing even stranger than it already was.

"W-what the Hell?!" Ed spluttered. "What was that?! People don't just randomly pop out of kettles like that!"

"I happen to be a genie!" the blue figure retorted, crossing its... arms... "And one of the best, at that." It stroked the goatee, grinning smugly.

"What the Hell is a genie?" Ed demanded. The blue thing brightened at that.

"Well, you see..."

After a painfully musical explanation, Ed dug his pinkie finger into his ear.

"So, you're telling me that we have three wishes. Three wishes that we could use for anything at all."

"There are a few rules and regulations and stuff," the genie corrected. "Such as making people fall in love, killing, and bringing people back from the dead. The last one is because it is not a pretty picture."

Ed shivered. "I can imagine. So, you really will grant three wishes?"

"Brother, that sounds amazing!" Al squealed like a schoolgirl. Which sounded very wrong and strange coming out of a suit of armor.

"A little too amazing, if you ask me," he grunted. He glared at the genie. "So, what do I do? Just wave my arms and go bippity-boppity-boo or some weird shit?"

"Actually, it's simpler than that," the genie said, slightly put off by Ed's crude language. "All you say is 'I wish', then you say what you want, and it's yours!"

"I wish I had something to block all the shit that's coming from your mouth."

"Brother!"

And, with a lot of arm-waving and dramatic fireworks, a pair of blue earplugs popped into existence.

Ed comically launched himself backwards and away from the two innocent-looking, pill-shaped objects.

"W-what the Hell?!"

"Your wish is my command," the genie said sarcastically, giving a fake-polite bow. Ed flailed from his position on the floor.

"E-excuse me, Mr. Genie? How did you do that?" Al asked timidly. "Was that Alchemy?"

"Actually, it was magic," the genie responded, crossing his arms again.

"Well, then I wish for Al to get his body back!" Ed suddenly shouted. The genie paused.

"That, I can't do. It is like bringing one back from the dead," he said seriously. Ed's face fell, and he regressed to a sulking teenage kid with mushrooms on his head.

"Um, I wish that... that Ed would stop swearing all the time."

"Al! You little bas-"

"Done."

"Git!" Ed stopped. Why did he suddenly sound British...? "Blimey, what did you do to me?" he gasped, clutching at his throat. "I sound... fancy! Ack!" He flapped his arms wildly. "Get it off! Get it off!"

"Brother, it's only an accent!" Al tried to reason, though he was giggling like mad.

"You git! This isn't funny!" Ed howled, then suddenly froze as a thought seemed to cross his mind. He turned to the genie with a devilish grin.

"I wish that I was taller than Al," he said confidently. The genie rolled his eyes.

"Your wish is my-" He suddenly stopped, frowning.

"What? Why did you stop?" Ed demanded.

"Ah, unfortunately, your height issues are past the powers of a lowly genie," the genie said solemnly. "If you want something changed, take it up with God himself."

"FRIGGIN' STUPID-BUTT GIT!" Ed screeched, trying his darndest to punch the genie in the face. But someone just under five feet tall couldn't even hope of reaching the face of someone four times your height.

"You have one last wish," the genie said. "Make it count."

"I wish I never had to see your ugly face again!"

"Your wish is my command."

With that, the genie disappeared into the kettle once more. The kettle itself flashed red before it promptly disappeared. Fuming, Ed threw himself onto the ground.

"What now? I'm friggen' stuck like this!" he raged, pounding his fists into the ground. Al wasn't helping with his poorly-concealed giggles.

"We might want to head back home. The sand's getting into my armor," Al suggested, removing his chestplate and letting a large helping of sand pour onto the blond Alchemist laying at his feet. Sputtering, Ed launched himself out of the intruding substance.

"WHAT THE HECK, AL?!"

"Sorry! I didn't mean it! Stop chasing me, brother! Agh!"

"LIKE HECK YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT! GET BACK HERE AND DIE LIKE A MAN!"

Whee! Now, wasn't this fun?

Obviously it's an Aladdin and Fullmetal Alchemist crossover. I personally enjoyed writing this, so if you want, drop a review and tell me what you thought!

Heheh... Poor Ed... He'll be short forever at this pace...

Ed: NOT SHORT YOU LITTLE WITCH!

Me: Says the guy who is just as tall as a ten-year-old with a height problem.

Ed: IF I WASN'T FRIGGEN' BRITISH I WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU BY NOW!

Me: What does being British have to do with anything?

Ed: Everything. *Is suddenly dead serious*

Me: ...?!