Roy was bored as Hell. He had (for once) finished his paperwork early, but he was stuck in this building for two more hours until his shift was over. Hawkeye was there, but she was busy with her own paperwork. (You'd be surprised at how much work a simple Lieutenant could get. It was ugly.) He wasn't really allowed to do anything other than work, and since that was over and done with, he was free.

A little too free.

All in all, Roy would do anything to rid himself of this boredom. Even ask Edward Elric to come for a visit.

"I can't believe I just wished Fullmetal would come to visit," he growled to himself.

"What's wrong, Boss?" Havoc leaned back in his seat with an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips. Roy rolled his eyes.

"I finished my paperwork. I don't have anything else to do. Go figure."

"Ah." Havoc toyed with a lighter. "Maybe you could find a mission for Chief to go on? It's always fun when he visits." Roy sighed.

"I would call, but I don't know where he is. Besides, he probably couldn't get any reception from all the way down there."

Miles and miles away, a blond-haired head twitched.

"He did it again! That's it, he needs to pay!"

"You even make fun of him when he's not here. That has to be a record," Breda commented off-handedly. Roy shrugged.

"It's become a habit."

More wasted time passed.

An hour and a half.

Not so far away anymore, a suit of armor was running desperately after a smaller, red-clad figure.

"Brother! Where are you even going?" the metal suit called.

"To punch that bastard's face in!" came the angered reply. "He's going to pay for calling me short when he thought I wouldn't find out!"

"Your move."

Falman frowned and concentrated heavily. His already narrow eyes narrowed even more. He reached out, hesitated, and reached for a different piece. Roy yawned.

One hour left.

A small boy with blazing golden eyes crouched atop a train headed for Central. His booted feet were planted firmly on the unforgiving metal surface. The suit of armor had long since been left behind, not able to climb aboard the train on time.

"You'll see. I always know."

Roy spun lazily in his office chair. Hawkeye barely glanced at him.

"Maybe you should go and make a better name for yourself," she suggested. "I don't think the military takes kindly to people who slack off or don't put their time to good use."

"Nah, too much work," Roy dismissed, waving his hand.

Thirty minutes to go.

Fuming, the short kid jumped off the train before it came to a full stop. He stumbled a bit while many people stared, but he recovered quickly and dashed off before the station police could catch him.

"Almost there! Just wait!"

Finally, the clock chimed. Roy stood up and stretched, feeling his spine pop.

"Ah, finally. I think I'll go home now." He started to head for the door.

The blond kid ran through the halls just as the clock chimed. He spotted his destination - a rich oak door just begging to be kicked inward.

The door suddenly exploded inwards. Roy stepped back, shielding his face from wood shards that never came. While his arms were up, something solid, heavy, and very painful slammed into his stomach. He flew into his desk, his stomach convulsing and his ears ringing from the shout that had accompanied the punch.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THE BUTTONS ON HIS PHONE ARE BIGGER THAN HIS HAND?!"

Well, this was fun.

Roy, you better watch out.

He always knows.

He's always listening.

Don't forget this lesson.

Roy: Well, the pipsqueak isn't even in this Author's Note. He can't even-

Ed: *Falls from the sky* WHO CALLED ME SHORT?!

Roy: ...*Flees for his life*